Amulek was a man "of no small reputation" when he was called by an angel to host a prophet in his home. He had a large extended family and many friends (Alma 10:4). Yet, as Amulek listened to the prophet Alma and returned to his faith, Amulek's many friends and family remained hard in their hearts and rejected Amulek (Alma 15:16). Among the many, Amulek specifically mentions one whose loss must have been most painful: his father, Giddonah.
For each of us, parents are foundational to our lives and identity. They provide essential love, guidance, and support that helps us develop physically, emotionally, mentally, and socially. Parents are our first role models and we first learn to see the world, and ourselves, through their eyes. Some of us, like Nephi, are fortunate to have "goodly parents" who provide support and counsel that sustain us for the majority of our lives (1 Nephi 1:1). Others, like Amulek, are given the emotionally wrenching trial of reconciling conflicts between their faith, family, and identity when parents go astray or reject them for their faith.
Abraham was among the second group. His father, Terah, turned from faith in God to practice the idolatry that was popular at that time. When Abraham refused his father's idolatry, his father "hearkened not unto [his] voice, but endeavored to take away [his] life" (Abraham 1:7). Abraham soon realized that he had to leave home to find greater peace, happiness, and knowledge for his life (Abraham 1:1-2).
Both Amulek and Abraham learned by experience that strait paths aren't always straight ones. Strait paths are narrow and often difficult. They wind and turn like the trail to a mountain summit with rocks and hills and cliffs along the way. Faith and family challenges do not exempt us from making the journey; rather, they help us recognize where the paths diverge.
Abraham could have joined his father in idolatry. He could have run away and then been satisfied to live an average life in some other city. In fact, he could have made a lot of choices that would have made him perfectly unremarkable and absent from the chronicles of history.
Instead, Abraham's experiences with his father kindled a desire to become a high priest and a father of many nations. He decided to pursue a path of obedience to the commandments that would help him realize the greater peace, happiness, rest, knowledge and righteousness he desired.
From the outside looking in, the strait path of Abraham's life looked anything but peaceful. Abraham wandered across the Middle East, fleeing from famines and wrestling with the challenges of a polygamous family. When his nephew, Lot, was captured by a coalition of four kings, Abraham built a small army and fought to save Lot from the kings. He witnessed the miraculous birth of his son, Isaac, and then was wrenched by a commandment to sacrifice his son just as Abraham's father had once tried to sacrifice Abraham.
Along the way however, Abraham was delivered many times until his faith became unshaken int the Lord. He was given priesthood power and received temple knowledge through revelation and the visitation of angels. Abraham was eventually blessed with posterity as the sands of the sea and the promised land that he desired.
Amulek faced a similar fork on the road. He had been a very successful businessman in the ancient American city of Ammonihah. After abandoning his profession to serve a mission, and being rejected by his parents and family for it, Amulek endured abuses in prison, watched his government murder innocent women and children, and lost all of his possessions in a war. He was also delivered from the prison and the corrupt society in which he lived, given the faith and power to teach, and preserved from an invading army.
The Lord who guided Abraham and Amulek is also mindful of those with challenging parental relationships in our day. He has promised: "I have looked upon thy works and I know thee... Behold, the days of thy deliverance are come, if thou wilt hearken unto my voice" (D&C 39:7, 10). As he delivered Abraham and Amulek from their sorest trials, he will also fight our battles and advocate with the Father on our behalf. He wants us to be wildly successful and looks for opportunities to bless us individually. He sees us as part of his family even when our families on earth no longer do.
At the same time, family challenges are an opportunity for us to decide which path to take in our lives. Are we willing to walk the strait path toward the mountain's summit and faithfully strive to overcome the many challenges there? Or will we settle for some other trail?
The trail to the summit is only possible if we will come unto Christ and yoke ourselves with him (Matthew 11:28-30). Experiencing rejection for our beliefs or watching parents or loved ones leave the Church can challenge our testimonies like an earthquake challenges the integrity of a building. It is critical in these challenges that we hold fast to the faith and testimony we have been given, fill our lives (and social media feeds) with the words of Christ, and then continue to build a solid foundation "upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God" (Helaman 5:12).
As we climb, we will need to abandon any unnecessary weight we are carrying. This includes forgiving our parents or others who have been hurtful. Abraham forgave his father and helped him move to a new land when a serious drought came. Abraham's father returned to idolatry and Abraham left for good, but he still prayed that the Lord would take away the drought that plagued his father's house. We are not expected to stay in relationships or environments that are abusive or unsafe, but through faith in Christ we can learn to love and forgive those who may have hurt or offended us.
We may also have to be willing to give up our families for a time. Christ taught that it was better to lose a member of our body-- like an arm or an eye-- than to be whole and unworthy of his presence. Likewise, it is better to be separated from a member of our family-- even our parents-- than to follow them away from the strait path that leads to Christ. The Lord has promised that, as we do, "every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life" (Matthew 19:29).
Whether physically separated or not, the commandment to honor our parents remains in force. There are many meanings of the word "honor," but each returns to principles of respect and righteousness. President Spencer W. Kimball once taught, "If we truly honor [our parents], we will seek to emulate their best characteristics and to fulfill their highest aspirations for us... Nothing we could give them would be more prized than righteous living" (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1982, p. 348). We honor our parents, both on earth and in heaven, as we strive to live righteously and follow their best examples.
Apostasy or abandonment from parents is an emotionally wrenching trial that can challenge even our core identity. As we turn to Christ with our challenge, we can be "born again" and learn to see the world, and ourselves, with a more eternal perspective. We can more readily receive of divine love, support, and guidance, recognize diverging paths, have the faith to forgive and endure, and be delivered from our sorest trials, even as we ascend toward the summit of everlasting life.