The Church Did Meet Together Oft

In April 2020, I found myself kneeling in my own living room to bless the sacrament for my family. The first national pandemic in 100 years had cancelled Church services indefinitely, but in that room there was only peace. As I passed a plate of broken bread and then small medicine cups of water to my children, I had a new understanding of the love God has for each member of his family. It was the first of many spiritual moments that came as I heard my children share their testimonies, provided sacrament service, and shared teaching the gospel with greater depth and breadth than most episodes of family scripture study had ever allowed.

Then churches began to open again. We were reminded of some of the drama that comes with any group of people. Friends and neighbors commented how nice it was to not have church at all for several months. Staring at the dress shoes we hadn't worn for months, we wondered: why does the Lord command us to go to church each week?

Perhaps Moroni knew something of what we were feeling. Hunted by his enemies, Moroni was the last of the faithful in the Book of Mormon. Isolated with only his thoughts, he wandered "whithersoever [he could] for the safety of [his] life" (Moroni 1:3). When he had evaded the Lamanites longer than he expected, Moroni decided to risk the noise of pounding a few more words into plates of gold "that perhaps they may be of worth unto my brethren, the Lamanites, in some future day" (Moroni 1:4).

After writing about how to perform certain ordinances, Moroni records that the names of those who were baptized and confirmed "were taken, that they might be remembered and nourished by the good word of God, to keep them in the right way, to keep them continually watchful unto prayer, relying alone upon the merits of Christ, who was the author and finisher of their faith" (Moroni 6:4).

He continued, "And the church did meet together oft, to fast and to pray, and to speak with one another concerning the welfare of their souls. And they did meet together oft to partake of bread and wine, in remembrance of the Lord Jesus" (Moroni 6:5-6).

Moroni knew, by doctrine and by experience, that the gospel cannot be lived alone. It requires giving and receiving. It needs others to forgive and to ask forgiveness. Sometimes our ability to grow in the gospel will hinge on exiting the echo chambers of our own thoughts or pausing our own self-centeredness to serve someone else. Essential gospel ordinances can only be performed for others; we cannot baptize or confirm or endow ourselves. Indeed, the highest goals of the gospel are to become bound to our families, to the greater human family, and to our Heavenly Father.

Elder Robert D. Hales taught, "When you attempt to live life's experiences alone, you are not being true to yourself, nor to your basic mission in life." Just as we do not return to live with our Heavenly Father alone, the gospel intentionally gathers the faithful to learn, serve, rely, gather and strengthen one another.

In every generation, the Lord has taught his children that church attendance is an essential part of gospel unity and togetherness. The Law of Moses admonishes the Israelites to "keep my sabbaths and reverence my sanctuary" with a promise that, in so doing, "I [the Lord] will walk among you and will be your God and ye shall be my people" (Leviticus 26:1-12). Nehemiah described the children of Israel "assembled with fasting" to confess their sins and read the scriptures (Nehemiah 9:1-3). Joel relayed the Lord's commandment in his time to, "Sanctify ye a fast, call a solemn assembly, gather the elders and all the inhabitants of the land in to the house of the Lord your God, and cry unto the Lord" (Joel 1:14). King David also taught the Israelites to worship in congregations, "And all the congregation blessed the Lord God of their fathers and bowed down their heads, and worshipped the Lord" (1 Chronicles 29:20-21).

Those who walked and talked with Christ were no less diligent and "came together" on the first day of the week to "break bread" and partake of the sacrament (Acts 20:7). Paul wrote to the members of the ancient church in Israel that they should draw near to the Lord, hold fast the profession of faith without wavering, and "consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another" (Hebrews 10:22-25).

Just as Moroni was willing to risk his life to write a few words about the importance of gathering, the prophet Alma, who lived five hundred years earlier, risked his life for the right to gather the faithful. Alma believed the prophet Abinadi and fled with other believers from a wicked king. Once hidden, the scriptures record that "he commanded [the faithful] that they should observe the sabbath day, and keep it holy, and also every day they should give thanks to the Lord their God... And there was one day in every week that was set apart that they should gather themselves together to teach the people, and to worship the Lord their God, and also, as often as it was in their power, to assemble themselves together" (Mosiah 18:25, 27).

Years later, out of hiding and rejoined with the Nephite nation, Alma resigned his post as chief judge to focus on his ecclesiastical responsibilities as the prophet and president of the church. In the capital city where he lived, disorganization and a lack of clear communication to the congregations had resulted in some members being "deprived of the privilege of assembling themselves together to hear the word of God" (Alma 6:5).

Alma reorganized church leadership, cleaned up the church records and ensured that "the word of God was liberal unto all" (Alma 6:1-5). Gospel messages were now in everyone's newsfeed, as it were, but it was not enough. These members also needed to be remembered, nourished by the good word of God, and concerned with the welfare of one another's souls. Alma records that, despite the accessibility to the word of God, "the children of God were commanded that they should gather themselves together oft, and join in fasting and mighty prayer in behalf of the welfare of the souls who knew not God" (Alma 6:6).

The Lord has renewed his commandment for the faithful to meet together often "to partake of bread and wine in the remembrance of the Lord Jesus". Describing these meetings as expedient to the organization of the Church (D&C 20:75), he expounds:

And that thou mayest more fully keep thyself unspotted from the world, thou shalt go to the house of prayer and offer up thy sacraments upon my holy day; For verily this is a day appointed unto you to rest from your labors, and to pay thy devotions unto the Most High; Nevertheless thy vows shall be offered up in righteousness on all days and at all times; But remember that on this, the Lord's day, thou shalt offer thine oblations and thy sacraments unto the Most High, confessing thy sins unto thy brethren, and before the Lord.

And on this day thou shalt do none other thing, only let thy food be prepared with singleness of heart that thy fasting may be perfect, or, in other words, that thy joy may be full. Verily, this is fasting and prayer, or in other words, rejoicing and prayer. And inasmuch as ye do these things with thanksgiving, with cheerful hearts and countenances, not with much laughter, for this is sin, but with a glad heart and a cheerful countenance-- Verily I say, that inasmuch as ye do this, the fulness of the earth is yours... to strengthen the body and to enliven the soul." (D&C 59:9-19).

Moroni knew perhaps better than anyone that living the gospel is not something that can be done solo. We need to be remembered and nourished by the good word of God to keep us in the right way, continually watchful unto prayer, and relying upon the merits of Christ. We need the strength of others to help us flee from wickedness and find sanctuary in gospel truths. We need the ordinance of the sacrament, the opportunities to fast for each other, and even some encounters with sharp edges to help  smooth some of our own rough spots and keep ourselves more unspotted from the world.

The experiences our family had while worshipping at home will always be precious memories. We are grateful for prophets, seers and revelators that prepared us for these experiences by various means. In the tumult of the world, it seems possible that worshipping from home may be necessary again someday. Until then, it is a privilege to live the gospel more fully in the company of his disciples.

The Gift of Repentance

Early one morning, as Christ was teaching in the temple, a group of Jewish rulers approached. Their intentions were sinister. Introducing a woman taken “in the very act” of adultery, the rulers asked, "Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?” (John 8:5).

The rulers' question was carefully conceived to trap Jesus between his own teachings about mercy and the law of Moses. He would have no choice, the rulers must have thought, but to contradict himself or defy the law of Moses. Either way, Christ's fraud would be exposed and the rulers could restore their own power and influence over the people.

Unbound by the limited options he was presented, Christ the Lawgiver responded: "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her" (John 8:7).

This was more than a general admonition. Under Jewish law, the first witness to an offense was required to throw or cast the first stone at an offender. Adultery is not a sin that can be committed alone. Christ, the Eternal Judge of both quick and dead (Moroni 10:34, Acts 10:42), was calling out the rulers' hypocrisy: they claimed to be defenders of pure religion and yet they had allowed, or perhaps even enticed, a woman to sin at the peril of her own life. And though the rulers were focused on the sin of the woman, Christ knew she was not the only guilty party present.

With the spotlight shifted from the woman to the witness, the rulers abandoned the scene and left Christ alone with the victim of their unsuccessful scheme. After a moment, and seeing that they were alone, Christ addressed the woman with respect, saying, "Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more" (John 8:10-11).

Like the woman taken in adultery, each of us have "sinned and come short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). We sin when we think, speak or act contrary to the commandments of God. King Benjamin taught that “there are divers ways and means [to sin], even so many that I cannot number them” (Mosiah 4:29), therefore we must “watch ourselves” and our thoughts, words and deeds.

It is useful to remember that sins and mistakes are not the same. The Doctrine and Covenants clearly differentiates between sin or transgression and mistakes, errors or being "overtaken in a fault" (D&C 20:80). Mistakes, like crossing the street without looking or forgetting to turn off a burner on the stove, may have serious consequences. Supporting errant political philosophies, over-trimming a spouse's favorite shrub or sending a work report to the wrong person, if done with the best of intentions, are all mistakes rather than sins. Some mistakes may lead us to sin. Yet, we do not need to feel guilty for our mistakes. The remedy for our errors and weakness is learning and correction (D&C 1:25, 27).

Sins are the result of willful disobedience of laws we have learned through the scriptures, the teachings of prophets, or the Spirit, known colloquially as our conscience, which teaches all of us what is right and wrong (John 14:26). However watchful we may be, in our "lost and fallen state" (1 Nephi 10:6) we will sometimes fall into Satan's sinful traps or choose to do something contrary to God's commandments. When we do, our sins bring anguish and lingering remorse to our soul. They make us unclean and unworthy to return and dwell in the presence of our Heavenly Father (Repentance. churchofjesuschrist.org).

Though we revere Nephi as a prophet, he also lamented his sins. "Notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord," he wrote, "my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins" (2 Nephi 4:17-19).

Nephi found solace through faith in Christ and faith-filled repentance. "If the Lord... hath visited men in so much mercy," he reasoned, "why should my heart weep... because of mine afflictions? And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh?... Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul... Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness" (2 Nephi 4:26-35).

Nephi understood that forgiveness of sin is always a gift given through the grace of Christ. We do not ever deserve to be forgiven. We are not entitled to it, nor can we earn it by our good deeds or following a step-by-step repentance formula.

Even so, the Lord does not want to condemn us. He is anxious to advance our learning and happiness. He taught the Nephites, "I have given you the law and the commandments of my Father, that ye shall believe in me, and that ye shall repent of your sins, and come unto me with a broken heart and a contrite spirit... Therefore, come unto me and be saved." (3 Nephi 12:19-20).

Consider again the story of the woman taken in adultery. She must have felt completely humiliated. Disgraced and ashamed, she was thrust before the Lord to await his judgement. The Lord responded with mercy. He dismissed her accusers and removed the condemnation of the law with an admonition to, "go, and sin no more."

Our sins may be less public, and we may not be compelled to take our guilt and shame to the Lord, but genuine repentance can remove the condemnation of God's eternal law and provide lasting relief from anguish and remorse. It can also deepen our resolve to "sin no more" and abide in the presence of God.

In contrast, the ruler taken in adultery received no such blessing. He was condemned of the Lord and fled from his presence. Rather than confess his sin, he sought to exempt himself from the law and destroy the lawgiver. He self-righteously lived by his own judgement and so was compelled to deal with the consequences of his sin alone. For him there was no relief from guilt or shame.

We should not have to be compelled to repent in humility. King Benjamin taught that we should review our thoughts, words and actions regularly and be honest with ourselves and with God when we have sinned. If we are striving to follow Christ, recognizing the sins we have committed will lead to “godly sorrow,” which “worketh repentance to salvation” (2 Corinthians 7:10). Godly sorrow does not come from fear of punishment or disappointment with the natural consequences of sin, but rather because our behavior has displeased our Heavenly Father and our Savior. When we experience godly sorrow, we have a sincere desire to change and we are willing to submit to every requirement the Lord may give us to be forgiven.

Amulek invited those who had sinned to, “begin to exercise your faith unto repentance, that ye begin to call upon his holy name, that he would have mercy upon you” (Alma 34:17). As our sin is the result of our own pride and following our own will, the first requirement to overcome sin will often be to turn to our Heavenly Father, pray in faith, and act as He directs. We can only be forgiven on His terms. When we gratefully recognize our Savior, Jesus Christ, and His Atonement, and strive to do His will, He will begin to bless us with strength and healing.

Our desire to be forgiven will be apparent when we are willing to fully disclose to our Heavenly Father what we have done. "By this ye may know if a man [or woman] repenteth of his [or her] sins," the Lord has said, "behold, he [or she] will confess them and forsake them" (D&C 58:43). Our prayer of faith must include a confession of our shame and guilt as we humbly plead for divine help.

While only the Lord can forgive sins, some serious transgressions, such as violations of the law of chastity, need to be confessed to both the Lord and a priesthood leader like a bishop or stake president. Elder C. Scott Grow taught that when our sins make us feel “guilty, unsettled, unhappy, or even miserable,” we probably need to talk with our bishop. If we feel the spirit prompting us to go to our bishop, we should not try to excuse ourselves or rationalize our way out. Just as Christ helped the woman taken in adultery to repent rather than condemning her, a bishop's role is to help God's children access the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, to relay His love for us, and to serve as the Lord’s messenger of mercy while working with us to get back to the path that leads to Him.

Along with confession of sin, the Lord requires us to forsake them. We should do everything in our power to restore property or reputations we may have damaged, including rebuilding trust or faith in ourselves. We will certainly need to forgive ourselves and exercise kindness and mercy as we hold ourselves accountable. We can then resolve never to repeat our sin and avoid people, places and situations that may compromise that resolve. We cannot linger in temptation and expect to remain clean from sin.

Instead, we must fill our lives with righteousness and engage in activities, like daily scripture study, prayer and fasting, that bring spiritual power. We must strive to be obedient to all of the commandments of God, including things like paying tithing, serving others, attending our church meetings, and forgiving those who have offended us. Some of these may not seem directly related to our sin, but the Lord has taught that “he [or she] that repents and does the commandments of the Lord shall be forgiven” (D&C 1:32, emphasis added).

These actions are not a magic formula, but principles that govern or are generally present when we sincerely repent. The Lord may give us more personal direction as we go to him in prayer.

Christ, the Lawgiver and Eternal Judge, is bound by the covenants and promises he has given us (D&C 82:10). One of those sacred promises is that “he [or she] who has repented of his [or her] sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more” (D&C 58:42). When we are striving to do all we can, the Lord will make us clean and sanctify us by the Holy Ghost. We can know that we have been forgiven of our sin when we experience the fruits of that Spirit: love, joy, peace, goodness, meekness, temperance, faith, and relief from guilt and anguish (Galatians 5:22-23).

King Benjamin invited his listeners to, “believe that ye must repent of your sins and forsake them, and humble yourselves before God; and ask in sincerity of heart that he would forgive you; and now, if you believe all these things see that ye do them” (Mosiah 4:10). The Lord extends the same invitation to those who would receive the gift of repentance: "go, and sin no more."

The Divine Nature and Destiny of Women

Given as a Sacrament Meeting talk on May 9, 2021 (Mother's Day). Much of the text was taken, and is therefore similar, to this post from November 11, 2012. Edits made to remove local references.

Similitude by Walter Rane

The Family: A Proclamation to the World teaches that “each [of us are] a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is a characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” It is our opportunity to celebrate righteous womanhood and motherhood today, beginning with a mother we all share.

Our greatest of grandmothers, Eve, was the first mortal woman to walk upon the earth. Through the annuls of time, Eve has often been portrayed as gullible and weak, however beautiful, and valuable primarily for bearing children and serving her husband. In modern times, many relegate Eve to the back shelf as a fictional character in an ancient children’s fable. For more than a thousand years, Eve, the mother of us all, has been portrayed in art, humor and dogma as little more than the First Stereotype.

Modern prophets give us a different picture of the Mother of All Living. Listen to their words:

There is no language that can do credit to our glorious mother, Eve. Eve--a daughter of God, one of the spirit offspring of the Almighty Elohim--was among the noble and great in [the premortal] existence. She ranked in spiritual statue, in faith and devotion, in conformity to eternal law with Michael (Bruce R. McConkie. "Eve and the Fall". Woman. Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1979. p. 69).

Among the great and mighty ones who were assembled in this vast congregation of the righteous were Father Adam... and our glorious Mother Eve, with many of her faithful daughters who had lived through the ages (Joseph F. Smith, D&C 138:38-39).

We and all mankind are forever blessed because of Eve's great courage and wisdom. By partaking of the fruit first, she did what needed to be done. Adam was wise enough to do likewise (Russell M. Nelson, General Conference, October 1993).

It was Eve who first transgressed the limits of Eden in order to initiate the conditions of mortality. Her act, whatever its nature, was formally a transgression but eternally a glorious necessity to open the doorway toward eternal life. Adam showed his wisdom by doing the same...

Some Christians condemn Eve for her act, concluding that she and her daughters are somehow flawed by it... Informed by revelation, we celebrate Eve's act and honor her wisdom and courage in the great episode called the fall (Dallin H. Oaks, General Conference, October 1993).

Eve is, "honored by Latter-day Saints as one of the most important, righteous, and heroic of all the human family" (Encyclopedia of Mormonism. Macmillan Publishing Company, 1992. 2:475.). Zebedee Coltrin related this insightful vision he shared with Oliver Cowdery and Joseph Smith, the prophet:

The heavens gradually opened and they saw a golden throne, on a circular foundation, something like a lighthouse, and on the throne were two aged personages, having white hair, and clothed in white garments. They were the two most beautiful and perfect specimens of mankind he ever saw. Joseph said, 'They are our first parents,' Adam and Eve ("The Words of Joseph Smith." Provo: Brigham Young University. vol. 6.).

That Eve would be exalted to a throne as the lucky consequence of a clumsy mistake or a weak moment is inconsistent with the gospel of exaltation. That gospel requires each of us to "work out our salvation" by developing great faith in Christ, choosing to change our behavior each day to better follow Him, make and keep inspired covenants and continually keep the commandments of God throughout our lives (see Phillippians 2:12; Alma 34:37; and Mormon 9:27). Eve did not get a pass for going first; that would not be just. Rather, modern prophets teach that Eve was chosen, with Adam, to set the course, to lead the way, to make the Lord’s plan of happiness possible, and to provide an example of faithfulness for the whole human race.

Popular culture is wrong about Eve and, by extension, it is wrong about women in general. Some of that error comes from a poor understanding of the Creation and the Fall. We can learn a great deal from a careful study of these events. I will make only a single point about each event today.

First, some point to the verses in Genesis that say Eve was created from Adam's rib to be an 'help meet' for him. They interpret this verse to suggest that God created women to help or serve the interests of men. Understanding that President Kimball taught the reference to Adam's rib is, "of course, figurative" (Spencer W. Kimball. Blessings and Responsibilities. Ensign. March 1976, p. 71), we can focus our attention on what it means to be an help meet.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines a 'help meet' as being, 'even with or equal to'. Sister Beverly Campbell has written that the Hebrew scripture uses the phrase ‘help meet’ to mean an equal saving power of some majesty. President Benson confirmed, 'In the beginning, God placed a woman in a companionship role with [Adam]... She was to act in partnership with him' (To the Elect Women of the Kingdom of God. Woman. Salt Lake City: Deseret Book. 1979. p. 69.).

Elder Bruce C. Hafen explained further, “Genesis 3:16 states that Adam is to 'rule over' Eve, but... over in 'rule over' uses the Hebrew bet, which means ruling with, not ruling over... The concept of interdependent equal partners is well grounded in the doctrine of the restored gospel” (Crossing Thresholds and Becoming Equal Partners. Ensign, August 2007. pp. 24-29.).

So we read in Moses chapter two that the Lord blessed both Adam and Eve and commanded them together to, “be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth” (Moses 2:28).

The truth that Eve was and is Adam's equal-- in intelligence, in spirituality, and in potential-- adds clarity to the account of the Fall. Gospel scholar Hugh Nibley explained that, "[Eve took] the initiative, pursuing the search for ever greater light and knowledge while Adam cautiously [held] back... It is she who perceives and points out to Adam that they have done the right thing after all" (Patriarchy and Matriarchy. Old Testament and Related Studies. Salt Lake City: Deseret Book. 1986. p. 92).

Eve acted in courage and in faith to complete her mission on earth. This could only have happened as it did if Eve were both capable and involved in the process all along. She wasn’t waiting for Adam’s permission or direction. She was united with him in their purpose and intent to follow the commandments, but then acted autonomously and selflessly to benefit the whole of the human family. God blessed Eve for her righteousness and courage.

A true understanding of the Creation and the Fall justify reverence, honor, and respect, rather than ridicule, for our mother, Eve. Eve had the faith to act, to trade comfort for progress, to stay focused on the Lord’s plan and to lead the way through uncertainty. Eve outwitted Satan to obtain divine blessings for her posterity that he sought for only himself. Each of us can be grateful this Mother’s Day for the achievements and example of our first mother, Eve.

Our Savior, Jesus Christ, exemplified the way we should honor the daughters of Eve in our lives today and every day. Christ’s use of the term ‘woman,’ consistent with Jewish culture at the time, was 'highly respectful and affectionate', implying ‘the greatest respect to the person spoken to', and intending 'no severity nor disrespect'.

Like Eve, Jesus Christ’s mother, Mary, was a woman of great courage. As an unmarried teenager, an angel appeared to her to declare that she would be pregnant with the son of God. Even an immaculate pregnancy could have caused her to be completely cast out of her society. She did not know how her fiancé would react or maybe even how she would try to explain it to him. And how does one raise as a child the Lord whom you revere as a God?

Mary asked the angel how it would be so and then, when she understood what she was being asked to do, Mary replied humbly, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word” (Luke 1:38). Though Joseph would marry her, Jewish tradition holds that Joseph died in an industrial accident when Christ was about thirteen years old and Mary was left to raise her children on her own.

The Lord’s respect for his mother is clear. At a wedding in Cana, when she is concerned about running out of wine, Christ replies, “Woman, what wilt thou have me to do for thee? That I will do; for mine hour is not yet come” (JST John 2:4). On the cross at calvary, suffering pain beyond our capacity to conceive, he spoke tenderly to his mother, saying, “Woman! Behold thy son!” and directed his disciples to continue to care for her.

Christ spoke with similar respect to all of the women he encountered. To the woman taken in adultery, he inquired with respect, “Woman, where are those thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee?... Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more” (John 8:11-12). To a woman of Canaan—a Gentile to whom he was not sent—who was seeking relief for a daughter “grievously vexed with a devil,” the Lord said, “O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt. And her daughter was made whole from that very hour” (Matthew 15:28).

When his disciples saw the empty tomb and left astonished, Mary Magdalene lingered and wept. Christ appeared to her first, saying, “Woman, why weepest thou?” She was not immediately consoled, but Christ comforted her and revealed his identity to her exceeding joy.

Brothers and Sisters, is this how we treat the women in our lives? Brethren, do you counsel with your wives as your equals, working toward unanimous decisions, or do you suppose you are somehow endowed with better judgement or a divine right to the final say? Do you consume entertainment that portrays women as daughters of Eve, or do you spend your time with shallower depictions of women as objects or less capable than men? How do your sisters, including your female coworkers and other women you encounter, know of your respect for them? You know the right answers to these questions—and if you need to repent, you need to do it now.

Sisters, are you kind to one another? Do you honor the heritage of womanhood within you with your words and actions? Do you selflessly seek the welfare of others and the will of the Lord, as Eve and Mary did, or do you suppose you can lift yourself while tearing others down?

Relief Society President Jean Bingham taught last month that “studies have shown that the number one reason people leave religion is that they feel judged or unwelcome. That is cited more often than doctrinal disagreement or lack of belief… That situation can be practically eliminated if we really open our arms and hearts to everyone.”

I’m sure each of you can think of times when you or someone close to you has been offended by someone at church. It does not matter if you think the offense is justified. The church should be a safe space where everyone can feel the love of God and of each other. Withhold from criticizing each other’s personal decisions. Focus on being a light for each other, not a judge of each other.

Every woman on this earth is a beloved daughter of heavenly parents. As such, each of you sisters have a divine nature and destiny. Your gender is not a biological coincidence and it is not a mistake. It is an essential characteristic of your individual premortal, mortal and eternal identity and purpose. In the words of Elder Rasband, “you have come [to earth] just at this time to valiantly build up the kingdom of God on the earth.” This is the errand of angels that you have been given.

You are where you are because there are people of every age who need you to reach out to them and help them in ways that only you can; and there are people here who can help you in ways you may not even know you need. Each of us will experience more joy and satisfaction in our lives as we strive to build our brothers and sisters around us.

Now, before I conclude, I know that some of us, for various reasons, may not feel like celebrating Mother’s Day. That is okay. The Lord is mindful of you and those things that are on your hearts today. 

I’d also like to echo several messages from the most recent BYU women’s conference. In doing so, I take inspiration from Sister Wendy Nelson, Sister Sharon Eubank, Sister Sheri Dew, Elder Ronald Rasband, and others who spoke at that conference. I hope some of what they have said will begin to address the things that may be on your mind and heart. Listen to their words:

- Each person is born to do three basic things. First, choose to love God and others. Second, come to know the Savior by repenting and keeping the commandments. Third, establish family relationships on both sides of the veil. Those things may happen in a different order or timing than we expect or desire, but if you’re doing any of those things, you’re fulfilling the thing you were born to do.

- Waiting faithfully upon the Lord for His blessings is “a holy position” and “doesn’t deserve pity.” While waiting, “you are in the company of some of the best souls on Earth.”

- Two similarly faithful women can receive different responses to the same basic questions. One sister may be inspired to attend medical school, for example, while another may feel she should forgo a scholarship and begin a family. What is right for one woman may not be right for another.

- Some of you may have children who are no longer active in the Church. Rather than grieving the children you may feel you have lost, rejoice in the children that you have. Pay attention to the things you enjoy about them and in their good values. Be positive with them and appreciate who they are. It will help your relationship become sweet again.

- Women’s voices and perspectives are present in a variety of Church councils and committees and they are equally important in ward and stake councils.

- Give yourself some grace. A lack of spiritual feeling, particularly if we are struggling with depression or anxiety, isn’t an indication of unworthiness. Sometimes we just need to hold on with our head what we don’t feel in the moment in our heart. We don’t need to compare ourselves today to the way we were on our best days.

In conclusion, Elder Ballard has affirmed, “Sisters, we, your brethren, cannot do what you were divinely designated to do from before the foundation of the world. We may try, but we cannot ever hope to replicate your unique gifts. There is nothing in this world as personal, as nurturing, or as life changing as the influence of a righteous woman.”

In this light, we begin to see, as Elder Holland has commented, that “in the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, a woman... occupies a majesty all her own in the divine design of the Creator.” That Creator, Jesus Christ, respected and reverenced the women in his life. He saw their spiritual vitality. He knew perfectly of the sacrifices they have made to respond to the will of God and keep His plan moving forward. He saw their divine and infinite potential, and he sees yours.

No wonder it is the women's organization of the Church that so often leads the way in reaching out to friends and neighbors. No wonder the Lord designed the family to pair priesthood and womanhood as evenly yoked saving powers in the lives of God's spirit offspring. Though this day can be difficult for some, it is this glorious heritage we all share that we honor and celebrate each Mother’s Day.

I pray, with Elder Ballard, that God will continually bless the women of the Church, and of our ward, to find joy and happiness in their sacred roles as daughters of God. The leaders of the Church, including Jesus Christ, who is at the head of this Church, believe in you. They are and I am counting on your goodness and your strength, your propensity for virtue and valor, your kindness and courage, your strength and resilience. We believe in your mission as women of God.

The Brother of Jared's Journey to the Temple

Readers of the Book of Mormon know well the story of the Brother of Jared. Like Noah, Lehi and others, the Brother of Jared was instructed to build barges to bring his family to a promised land. When challenges arose during the construction of the barges, the Brother of Jared turned to the Lord for answers. The Lord helped the Brother of Jared understand how to modify the water-tight vessels for air and explained that the wind would propel the barges in the right direction. When the Brother of Jared asked for light for the barges, the Lord responded with a question: "What will ye that I should do that ye may have light in your vessels?" (Ether 2:23).

While the Lord may have been asking for the Brother of Jared's effort and ideas to light the barges, his question was also an invitation for greater spiritual light amid the darkness of the world. Just as the Lord had volunteered the wind when the Brother of Jared asked for air, the Lord generously responds to the Brother of Jared's inquiry for light with a question that will lead him to the divine light and knowledge available through temple worship.

The story of the Brother of Jared begins in the ancient city of Babel, a predecessor to Babylon in modern-day Iraq. A play on the Hebrew balal, which means "to mix or confound," ancient tradition (Josephus, Antiquities, 1.4) states that Babel was known as "the gate of God." Here at the symbolic gates of heaven, Nimrod, the power-hungry grandson of Ham and great-grandson of Noah, sought to build a tower to reach the heavens.

By virtue of its goal, Nimrod's tower was likely some version of a temple. Aware of the floods that had previously destroyed the wicked, the Tower of Babel was built high and thick and from bricks and mortar so as to be water tight. Its construction was a mockery of God, to whom Nimrod preached it was cowardice to submit, and many traditions hold that it was Nimrod's desire to use the tower to break in to heaven, dethrone God, avenge mankind of the flood that destroyed it, and place himself as the new ruler of heavens and of earth.

It was in this wicked society that Jared and his brother pleaded with the Lord for unity (or at-one-ment) for their family and a small band of believers. The Lord answered each prayer with compassion and, when the Brother of Jared had cried "this long time," the Lord ultimately promised to go before the Brother of Jared's face, deliver him and his friends from the evil around them, lead them to a promised land, and make Jared and his brother the heads of a great nation (Ether 1:33-43).

Intertwined with the the Lord's promises for temporal and political blessings for the Jaredites are each of the core elements that would become known the Abrahamic Covenant in the succeeding generation: priesthood, posterity and a promised land. Because the Jaredites had faithfully rejected the false doctrines of the world and its heretical temple, the Lord covenanted to reveal the doctrines of the gospel and bring them back into his presence through authorized temple ordinances.

Preparation to receive the promised blessings lasted for many years. The Jaredites were tested and refined as they wandered in the wilderness, built barges on several occasions to cross many waters, endured trials and chastisement, collected animals and seeds, and lived four years in tents on the seashore. As the Jaredites' obedience and sacrifice increased, so did their privileges with the Lord.

"And it came to pass that the Lord did go before them, and did talk with them as he stood in a cloud, and gave directions whither they should travel... being directed continually by the hand of the Lord" (Ether 2:5-6).

"And it came to pass... that the Lord came again unto the brother of Jared, and stood in a cloud and talked with him. And for the space of three hours did the Lord talk with the brother of Jared" (Ether 2:14).

Finally, the Jaredites were ready to construct the barges that would carry them across the ocean; and the Brother of Jared was prepared for the greater light and knowledge the Lord promised to give him. With water-tight barges now modified for greater air flow, the Brother of Jared prays, "O Lord, behold I have done even as thou hast commanded me; and I have prepared the vessels for my people, and behold there is no light in them. Behold, O Lord, wilt thou suffer that we shall cross this great water in darkness?" (Ether 2:22).

After many years of preparation, the Brother of Jared's word choice, as relayed by Moroni, is intentional. Water is associated with life: it is present at our birth and when we are born again through baptism. Christ turned water into wine at the beginning of his ministry, a symbol of his transcendence of the earthly condition. Nimrod had also been keenly aware that water could be used to destroy corruption and refresh the life on earth.

The depth of the Brother of Jared's question, asked with emotion and perhaps some fatigue, includes the veiled plea, "Must we go our entire lives without the full light and blessings of the gospel and the at-one-ment we first desired?" The omniscient Lord responds with the same compassion noted frequently in these verses: "What will ye that I should do that ye may have light in your vessels?" (Ether 2:23). 

The Brother of Jared must have recognized the invitation in the Lord's reply, because he seems to know what to do next. Though the Lord had been speaking to him from a cloud, the Brother of Jared, like others in the Old Testament who sought to commune with the Lord, climbed a particularly high mountain, Mount Shelem, to seek further light and knowledge.

"Shelem," like "shalom," refers to peace with God and, more specifically, the peace offering and priestly atoning that was part of the law of sacrifice and a significant part of ancient temple worship. For such an offering the priest would enter the temple wearing a breastplate with sixteen stones. The number of stones-- sixteen-- was symbolic of the eye or bringing to light. An ancient priest entering the temple would also carry incense or coals in his hands that would be used to perform the sacrifice.

Prior to climbing Mount Shelem, the Brother of Jared, "did molten out of a rock sixteen small stones; and they were white and clear, even as transparent glass; and he did carry them in his hands upon the top of the mount, and cried again unto the Lord" (Ether 3:1, emphasis added). It is worth noting that some ancient rabbis believed that Noah used precious stones that shone in the ark rather than windows (Genesis 6:16, footnote a) and the Brother of Jared may have ventured this solution based on what he knew of his priestly ancestor's dealings with the Lord. Whether inspired by Noah, or an ancient temple, or in some other way, the search for physical and spiritual light brought the Brother of Jared to the precipice of a mountain-temple with sixteen white, clear stones that he had molten from a rock.

As he enters the temple environment, the Brother of Jared repeats the Lord's instructions that the Jaredites, "must be encompassed about by the floods". The first stop in an ancient temple was the "Molten Sea" that represented the great flood that covered the whole earth.

Elder Bruce R. McConkie once explained:

In Solomon's Temple a large molten sea of brass was placed on the backs of 12 brazen oxen, these oxen being symbolical of the 12 tribes of Israel. This brazen sea was used for performing baptisms for the living... In describing the molten sea the Old Testament record says, 'The sea was for the priests to wash in' (2 Chron 4:2-6). This is tantamount to saying that the priests performed baptisms in it (Mormon Doctrine, pp. 103-104).

In addition to stating the obvious about a boat crossing the ocean, the Brother of Jared appealed for the Lord's approval and redemption in the same way that a high priest entering the temple symbolically was redeemed from the Fall in order to enter the presence of God.

"Now behold, O Lord," he continues, "and do not be angry with thy servant because of his weakness before thee; for we know that thou art holy and dwellest in the heavens, and that we are unworthy before thee; because of the fall our natures have become evil continually; nevertheless, O Lord, thou has given us a commandment that we must call upon thee, that from thee we may receive according to our desires" (Ether 3:2).

Admitted into the temple, the Brother of Jared asks the Lord to touch the stones with his finger that they may have light. What follows reminds us of Moses' temple experience when the Ten Commandments were written with the finger of the Lord to give light to Israelites (Deuteronomy 9:10). Like Moses, Ezekiel, and others, when the Brother of Jared saw the finger of the Lord, he "fell down before the Lord, for he was struck with fear" (Ether 3:6, see also Exodus 3:6, Ezekiel 1:28).

Continuing in compassion and perhaps pleased to see the Brother of Jared accepting the invitation to come to the temple, the Lord tells the Brother of Jared to rise and commends him for his faith. Aware of the sacred nature of the temple ordinances that were about to take place, the Lord then inquires, "Believest thou the words which I shall speak?" (Ether 3:11). This is the Brother of Jared's last opportunity to withdraw rather than accepting the obligations and blessings the Lord is prepared to place on him.

When the Brother of Jared answers affirmatively, the Lord accepts the Brother of Jared's earlier appeal to enter his presence. "Because thou knowest these things ye are redeemed from the fall; therefore ye are brought back into my presence; therefore I show myself unto you" (Ether 3:13). The Lord then teaches the Brother of Jared face to face about the creation, the Plan of Salvation, the Atonement of Jesus Christ, all the inhabitants of the earth, and many more things that cannot be written (Ether 3:14-17, 4:5).

Moroni, the editor of this account, references the Brother of Jared's temple endowment as he writes, "there never were greater things made manifest than those which were made manifest unto the brother of Jared" (Ether 4:4). He records, "And because of the knowledge of this man he could not be kept from beholding within the veil... and he had faith no longer, for he knew, nothing doubting" (Ether 3:19).

Like the Brother of Jared, Moroni writes that we can also obtain the greatest knowledge manifested to mankind so that we can behold within the veil and enter the presence of the Lord. To do so, we must "repent of [our] inquity, and become clean before the Lord" through baptism. We must exercise faith, as the Brother of Jared did, and become sanctified through the gift of the Holy Ghost (Ether 4:6-7).

If we will apply these first principles and ordinances of the gospel in our lives, the Lord will, "manifest unto [us] the things which the brother of Jared saw, even to the unfolding unto them all my revelations" (Ether 4:7). Further, the Lord advises us, "he that believeth these things which I have spoken, him will I visit with manifestations of my Spirit, and he shall know and bear record. For because of my Spirit he shall know that these things are true; for it persuadeth men to do good" (Ether 4:11). If not, we will be accursed, or spiritually separated from God and limited in our progression and potential (Ether 4:11).

As the Lord inquired of the Brother of Jared, so he inquires of us: "What will ye that I should do that ye may have light in your vessels?"

"And again, verily I say unto you that it is your privilege, and a promise I have unto you that have been ordained unto this ministry, that inasmuch as you strip yourselves from jealousies and fears, and humble yourselves before me, for ye are not sufficiently humble, the veil shall be rent and you shall see me and know that I am-- not with the carnal neither natural mind, but with the spiritual" (D&C 67:10).

Challenges, Gratitude and Blessings

"Nowhere Else to Go" by Nathan Greene

1863 was a year of great unrest in the United States. It began with President Lincoln’s controversial second executive order of the Emancipation Proclamation, specifying ten states in which slaves were to be freed. The Civil War raged on for a third year, including the particularly bloody Battle of Gettysburg.

In what is now Idaho, the U.S. Army massacred an encampment of Shoshone while some Shoshone and other tribes frequently attacked wagon trains headed to Oregon and Washington. In Kansas, guerilla confederates killed more than 150 civilians for their city’s abolitionist reputation. In California, volunteer cavalry massacred 35 Paiute men on the bank of the Kern River near Keyesville.

It was in 1863 that Congress passed the Enrollment Act that authorized a military draft and triggered the week-long New York Draft Riots. Five thousand women in Richmond, Virginia, rioted to protest the exorbitant price of bread. The first race riot in Detroit occurred when a white mob attacked the city’s black population. In cities around the country, protests against the war, slavery, poor wages and poor working conditions were common.

The fourth cholera pandemic of the Nineteenth century began in 1863, though it would take seven years to make its way from the Bengal region through Europe and Russia to the United States. Half of downtown Denver burned down in a fire-- some said it began with a protest against brothels—and more than a block of San Francisco was turned to ash in the Great San Francisco Fire. Florida was hit hard, as it seems they always are, by the unexpected Hurricane Amanda.

With challenges on every side, President Lincoln issued a proclamation toward the end of 1863:

“The year that is drawing towards its close,” he proclaimed, “has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God.”

President Lincoln listed blessings including rich natural resources, general order in society and a strong and vigorous union despite the ongoing war before concluding:

“No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American people.”

Lincoln then invited all Americans throughout the world to observe "a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens". He recommended that our penitence and worship also include fervently imploring, "interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union."

Earlier this month, President Nelson also invited us to experience the healing power of gratitude. Mindful of the global pandemic and its effects in our lives, and noting “a host of other ills” including “hate, civil unrest, racism, violence, dishonesty, and lack of civility,” President Nelson invited each of us to keep a gratitude journal on social media for seven days and unite in thanking God through daily prayer.

“We can all give thanks for the beauties of the earth,” he taught, “and the majesty of the heavens that give us an inkling of the vastness of eternity.

“We can give thanks for the gift of life, for our amazing bodies and minds, that allow us to grow and learn.

“We can give thanks for art, literature and music that nurture our souls.

“We can give thanks for the opportunity to repent, start over, make amends and build character.

“We can give thanks for our families, friends and loved ones.

“We can give thanks for the opportunity to help, cherish and serve one another, which makes life so much more meaningful.

“We can even give thanks for our trials; from which we learn the things we would not know otherwise.

“Most of all, we can give thanks unto God, the Father of our spirits, which makes us all brothers and sisters — one great global family.”

“Prayer brings forth miracles,” he explained, and practicing gratitude can help us be happier and have more peace in our lives. Despite a challenging year, and more difficulties likely headed our way, following this counsel from a living prophet has helped to calm our anxieties and find the joy in this season of “Thanksgiving and Praise.”

In counting our blessings, as President Nelson has encouraged us to do, we have also been reminded that many of our bounteous blessings have been so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come. I have found four habits that, when practiced, help me to remember my many blessings and feel more gratitude, peace and joy. These include striving to always remember my Savior, Jesus Christ, and be more like him; looking for the hand of the Lord in my life each day; seeking to have an eternal perspective, and separating my gratitude from temporary temporal achievements.

The Lord has taught that his ways are higher than our ways and his thoughts than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:5-9). As I remember the Savior and seek to build my life on the principles he has taught, I am more likely to respond to others with patience and understanding, to notice the beauty of nature, to remember my own weakness and all the Lord has done for me, and the covenants I have made that bind me to both magnificent eternal blessings and significant mortal duties. Striving to remember my Savior, Jesus Christ, changes who I am and helps me to maintain an uplifting sense of gratitude.

Of course, we all have bad days. Sometimes we might also feel like we have bad months and bad years. Looking for the blessings we receive, especially when we are feeling like life is hard, can open our eyes so we can see the love God has for each of us. This can be one of the greatest sources of strength we need for our lives.

A few years ago, as my family was driving home from church, my wife commented on what a good year our family had. We had welcomed a new child to the world, I received a promotion at work, we were able to travel to some new places around California and things seemed to be going well.

As I thought a little more about her comment, memories of events I did not enjoy as much also crept into my thoughts. Yes, a lot of good things had happened, but we also had the catastrophic Detwiler Fire, two significant flood events and snow that knocked out power for several days. Some turmoil persisted in my extended family and there had been months with more demands than we could meet and days when we just seemed out of sync. There had been illnesses and injuries and world events that added to a pile of evidence that could convince any jury we’d just had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year.

When I saw the world with my wife’s faith and optimism, I experienced a sense of gratitude that was encouraging and uplifting. As doubts came, my hope diminished and I began to re-live the stress and burdensome weight of life’s difficult experiences.

While the Lord can do all things, most of the time the blessings we receive are subtle. Speaking with particular reference to the law of tithing, Elder Bednar has taught:

“Often as we teach and testify about the law of tithing, we emphasize the immediate, dramatic and readily recognizable temporal blessings that we receive. And surely such blessings do occur. Yet some of the diverse blessings we obtain as we are obedient to this commandment are significant but subtle. Such blessings can be discerned only if we are both spiritually attentive and observant (see 1 Corinthians 2:14).

“The imagery of the ‘windows’ of heaven used by Malachi is most instructive. Windows allow natural light to enter into a building. In like manner, spiritual illumination and perspective are poured out through the windows of heaven and into our lives as we honor the law of tithing.”

Looking back over my life, I can see periods when my family has experienced an outpouring of light and understanding. Though I can see it so clearly now, it wasn’t always obvious at the time.

One such experience occurred while I was attending graduate school in Arizona. Soon after graduation, my wife and I accepted a job in Virginia. It was a big decision that came as a shock to a lot of our friends and family members. Some of them wondered out loud how we could make a decision so suddenly that wasn't even in realm of possibilities just the day before.

Of course, we hadn't made the decision suddenly at all. Years before we decided to move, we began praying for guidance and that we would be able to find a good job after graduate school. I paid close attention when my professors, most of whom were or had been active in my chosen profession, would give career advice. I interviewed for promotions within the company where I worked and started applying for jobs in my field around the metro area where I was attending school. I was constantly looking at job ads and talking with my wife about what we wanted from life, the kinds of communities where we would like to live and jobs that would help us reach our long-term goals.

Over time, my wife and I began to have experiences that helped to clarify the path ahead. One interviewer at my employer in Arizona told me I was overqualified and another told me it would be several years before the labor union would allow me to be considered for promotion. A guest practitioner in one of my classes shared stories from working in rural communities that resonated with me. When we traveled, we would discuss what we liked and disliked about the communities we visited. The same advice about mobility and finding a first job was repeated over and over and over again by professors, mentors, role models and career counselors.

As graduation approached I was getting anxious to find a position, but it was much easier to identify the jobs that would get us closer to our professional and family goals. My wife and I knew the jobs that were most likely to lead to management opportunities, the size and type of community where we wanted to live, where we could make the greatest contributions and which states and communities we were willing to call home. Four months after graduation, I interviewed in Virginia and accepted a position that was everything we had learned we wanted.

Looking back, there was not a single epiphany that dramatically changed our course. There was no grand revelatory moment where the Lord commanded us to move to Virginia. Instead, the Lord opened the windows of heaven and steadily poured out a thousand smaller experiences, thoughts and impressions that gradually opened our minds, clarified our goals, developed our skills and understanding, and has led us gently down the path to where we needed to be.

Recognizing the Lord’s hand guiding our lives has inspired a deep sense of gratitude in me. It has also given me confidence that the Lord continues to give guidance and direction, even when it is hard for me to see at the time. With this and so many other assurances that help me trust more fully in the Lord, I am able to worry less and enjoy greater happiness, testimony, strength, knowledge and prosperity than would be possible otherwise.

Sometimes, I admit, I don’t feel like I have the patience to be led gently down a path. I wish I could avoid some of the hardest experiences in my life and skip the anxiety of uncertainty. With riches as a symbol for an easier life, I want to shout with Tevye from The Fiddler on the Roof: “If riches are a curse, may the Lord smite me with them! And may I never recover!”

Perhaps we can all relate to Tevye’s yearnings when he prayed:

                Lord who made the lion and the lamb,

                You decreed I should be what I am;

                Would it spoil some vast, eternal plan,

                If I were a wealthy man?

Couldn’t things just be a little bit easier? Do we really need pandemics and wildfires and family members losing health and losing faith? Would that spoil God’s plan for us?

Then-Elder Dallin H. Oaks answered Tevye’s plea in a General Conference Address in 2003. “Yes, Tevye, it might,” he said. “The revelations, for which we are grateful, show that we should even give thanks for our afflictions because they turn our hearts to God and give us opportunities to prepare for what God would have us become… Let us give thanks for what we are and for the circumstances God has given us for our personal journey through mortality.”

Elder Anderson taught earlier this year that:

COVID-19 did not surprise the Lord, and He will use it to accomplish His purposes. ‘And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments’ (D&C 59:21).

This time, when society has paused, can be a time of great learning, a time to shift one’s focus from a temporal perspective to an eternal perspective. When these things come to us, of course there are worries… there are emotions and all kinds of pressures and things that are not comfortable.

Church members have an opportunity to stand back and say, ‘There is something about this that will be important for me.’ Perhaps above all else, it brings each of us humility. During these moments, God’s children are praying more often and more fervently.

"Stay on your knees longer and see what the Lord will teach you. There are always compensatory blessings in these times.

Along with the challenges, our family has seen many compensatory blessings throughout the novel coronavirus pandemic. We were grateful for a late snow in March that made it easier to want to stay inside. I appreciated the sacred responsibility to prepare and bless the sacrament for my children and to hear their testimonies in our at-home testimony meetings. I’ve been blessed to serve the families to whom I minister in meaningful ways and to learn from their experiences and wisdom. I’ve been fortunate to work from home much more often and to see my children excelling in their studies. Thanks to Zoom and other video conferencing apps, I can now have a long day of meetings in Sacramento and still be home for dinner.

Finally, we will experience greater gratitude and joy from striving to become grateful and cheerful people than we do from any temporary event or accomplishment. This may seem counter-intuitive. We may think, as Tevye did, that we could be more grateful if only we didn’t have a particular burden in our lives or if we had some blessing we feel we’re currently lacking. The world tells us that gratitude and happiness follow success.

The happiest person I've ever known was my maternal grandmother. Grandma Findlay grew up in the high deserts of eastern Utah during the Great Depression. She served at Fort Douglas in World War II then married my grandfather, a teacher, with whom she raised a family of eight children. Grandma lost a teenage son to cancer, gave countless hours in church and community service, and spent the last several years of her life selflessly caring for a husband with dementia even while her own health declined.

Despite all she had been through, I seldom saw Grandma when she wasn't quick to share a warm smile and make others laugh with her subtle, dry sense of humor. She had a sharp mind, enjoyed helping others be their best, and could tell from the kitchen if I was slouching while practicing on the living room piano. She was a talented pianist herself and enjoyed writing short stories and poetry. Grandma refused to say a negative word and would often rebut the unpleasant remarks of others with a simple exclamation of, "Oh, well!" Everyone who knew my grandma knew that "Oh, well!" meant that Grandma was about to turn the conversation in a more positive and uplifting direction.

Missionaries, researchers and world travelers have often been surprised to find that the happiest people, like my grandma, are often those in the most humble circumstances or with the most incredible challenges. While many celebrities who seem to have it all fight off depression, drug abuse and failed marriages, those who have been compelled to be humble are, in many cases, more grateful for what they have and experience greater happiness than those who appear to be prospering.

Social scientists have observed that when we place happiness on the other side of arbitrary successes, we end up spending all of our time pushing it farther and farther away while we pursue the next fleeting “success”. When we do well in school, we expect to do better the next time. When we get a good job, we start “climbing the ladder” for a better one. We make money and only end up wanting more than we have. Ultimately, of course, we never get to these kinds of successes for long, so we perpetually chase happiness until it disappears beyond the cognitive horizon and there’s nothing we can do to actually achieve happiness.

Gratitude is not something we get. It is not something we have. It is something we become. 

Author C.S. Lewis has observed, “What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of a person you are.”

When we become the kind of people who are sincerely grateful; when we become more like our Savior, acknowledge the bounty the Lord has given us, seek to see the events in our lives from an eternal perspective, and separate our gratitude from temporary successes; we will experience a greater realization of our potential including the greater happiness and joy the Lord wants us to experience.

President Nelson shared:

"Over my nine and a half decades of life, I have concluded that counting our blessings is far better than recounting our problems. No matter our situation, showing gratitude for our privileges is a fast-acting and long-lasting spiritual prescription.

"Does gratitude spare us from sorrow, sadness, grief, and pain? No, but it does soothe our feelings. It provides us with a greater perspective on the very purpose and joy of life."

In short, President Nelson echoed Paul’s admonition: “In every thing give thanks” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

This year, like 1863, has been filled with challenges, disappointments and turmoil. Yet, the year that is drawing towards its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God.

No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American people and all the children of our Heavenly Father.

Courage to Go Forth

Some of the most courageous figures in all of scripture must be the sons of Mosiah. These four brothers, heirs to the throne of the Nephite nation, each refused the crown in order to move to a hostile nation and preach the gospel. They left without knowing when they would return-- it ended up being about fourteen years later-- and without means to sustain them or connections in the foreign land.

Many talks and lessons have cited the quality of the sons of Mosiah's character to explain why Ammon, Aaron, Omner and Himni would go as missionaries to the Lamanites:

They had waxed strong in the truth; for they were men of a sound understanding and they had searched the scriptures diligently, that they might know the word of God. But this is not all; they had given themselves to much prayer, and fasting; therefore they had the spirit of prophecy, and the spirit of revelation, and when they taught, they taught with the power and authority of God (Alma 17:2-3).

Although this verse comes before the account of the challenges of their respective missions-- everything from imprisonment without food and water to witnessing others be killed for their faith-- it is a narrative description of the sons of Mosiah after they had returned from their mission. Fourteen years earlier, they were very aware of the danger of the mission they had chosen and the hardness of the hearts they felt called to teach.

With some anxiety, they began their journey through the wilderness to the mission field. The scriptures say that the sons of Mosiah, and those that were with them, "fasted much and prayed much" as they traveled, asking that "that the Lord would grant unto them a portion of his Spirit to go with them, and abide with them, that they might be an instrument in the hands of God to bring... the Lamanties to the knowledge of the truth" (Alma 17:9).

And it came to pass that the Lord did visit them with his Spirit, and said unto them: Be comforted. And they were comforted.

And the Lord said unto them also: Go forth among the Lamanites, thy brethren, and establish my word; yet ye shall be patient in long-suffering and afflictions, that ye may show forth good examples unto them in me, and I will make an instrument of thee in my hands unto the salvation of many souls (Alma 17:10-11).

The Lord responded to the sons of Mosiah's pleadings with three things: comfort to calm their anxieties, instructions for success, and a promise that following the instructions would bring the outcome they had fasted and prayed to receive.

When we pray for blessings from our Heavenly Father, sometimes we can make the mistake of stopping our progress when the comfort comes. None of us likes to be troubled or anxious, so when we are worried or struggling we fast and pray diligently until we are comforted. Then, somehow, when comfort comes we seem to think that the blessings we desire will be delivered with minimal effort on our part. We say things like, "we just need to have faith," or "the Lord will deliver on his timetable," and we wait for a miracle.

Faith in the Lord, and in His timetable, is, of course, important. Miracles do happen. And sometimes there is nothing we can do but stand still, like the children of Israel trapped by Pharoah's armies against the Red Sea, and behold the Lord's mighty power. But most often, genuine faith requires us to act and do all we can do to realize the blessings we desire. The Lord then magnifies our faithful efforts, and helps us learn and grow along the way, until we obtain the things we desired from Him.

Acting with faith can cause a little anxiety, even if we're not on a mission to an enemy country. It can be hard to share the gospel with a friend, heal a relationship, stop a bad habit, move to a new place, accept a new calling, or whatever else we feel called to do. We need courage to keep moving forward.

In the moment of comfort, the Lord instructed the sons of Mosiah. First, he confirmed that they should go to serve the Lamanites. Next, he commanded them to establish his word by their example and admonished them to be patient in affliction. Despite the moment of comfort they were enjoying, the blessings they desired could only be achieved through a great deal more discomfort. Finally, he promised that if they would keep this commandment, he would grant them the blessing they desired.

And it came to pass that the hearts of the sons of Mosiah, and also those who were with them, took courage to go forth unto the Lamanites to declare unto them the word of God (Alma 17:12, emphasis added).

Like the sons of Mosiah, we can fast much and pray much to know from the Lord whether we are on the right path. We can learn what we need to do to receive the blessings we desire and receive assurances that, if we will be faithful to the commandments the Lord gives to each of us, the Lord will ensure our success.

With the Lord's assurances, and trust that God will prepare the way, we can find the courage we need to save the kings flocks from marauders, endure an unjust imprisonment, or overcome whatever other obstacle we may face in pursuit of our desired blessings. As we do, the Lord will make us his sons and daughters-- strong in the knowledge of the truth, armed with spiritual gifts and the power and authority of God to do his work.

Affliction, Potato Salad and the Stockdale Paradox

Around 60 B.C., after a power-hungry expatriate and his followers caused a fourteen-year war between two ancient American nations, the prophet Helaman wrote:

And thus [we had] wars, and bloodsheds, and famine, and affliction, for the space of many years. And there had been murders, and contentions, and dissensions, and all manner of inquity... But behold, because of the exceedingly great length of the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility (Alma 62:39-41).

Like these ancient people, we are surrounded today by all manner of wars and afflictions. We frequently find ourselves obliged, like the Nephites, to defend, "our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our [spouses], and our children" on social media, in our communities and in our nations (Alma 46:12). We have all undoubtedly also witnessed friends and family members who, in the middle of these dangerous circumstances, have hardened in their hearts and been overcome by bitterness, cynicism and worldly pressures. Perhaps we have also felt an onslaught of adversity and wondered how long we could endure when it seems at times that we are hopelessly outnumbered.

In such times, we can find a great reminder in the simple pleasure of a potato salad. Both of the key ingredients in a good potato salad, potatoes and eggs, are boiled in water for several minutes before they can be added to the salad. Interestingly, while the boiling water softens the potatoes, the eggs, encased in their shells, become hardened in the same circumstance.

During the Vietnam War, Admiral James Stockdale was held as a prisoner for more than seven years. He was tortured more than twenty times and had no way of knowing whether he would survive the war or ever see his family again. He told author Jim Collins:

"This is what I learned from those year in the prison camp, where all those constraints just were oppressive. You must never ever ever confuse, on the one hand, the need for absolute, unwavering faith that you can prevail despite those constraints with, on the other hand, the need for the discipline to begin by confronting the brutal facts, whatever they are."

The Lord has taught that he refines us and chooses us in the furnace of affliction (Isaiah 48:10; 1 Nephi 20:10). Our trials, in other words, are opportunities to become stronger and better people.

This point seems lost on the children of Israel in Moses' day. They endured the mass murder of their children, slavery and all its accompanying ills, and many years wandering in the desert without a home. They also saw many miracles. Yet, many of the children of Israel ultimately chose to harden their hearts, worship the golden calf, turn from Moses amid the poisonous serpents, and ultimately perish in the wilderness rather than allowing their hearts to soften and change. In the literal and figurative heat of affliction, the children of Israel built barriers of cynicism and doubt that would not permit the Lord to refine them and to make them His. In the midst of wars and afflictions, the children of Israel chose to be eggs.

On the other hand, the people of Alma were also pursued by a king for their faith and fled their homes only to become slaves to their enemies. A particularly hateful man became their ruler, persecuting them heavily and killing anyone who so much as said a prayer. When these trials were not immediately removed, it would have been easy for this people to become as cynical and angry as the children of Israel.

Instead, the scriptures say, "they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord" (Mosiah 24:16). Without barriers, they confronted the brutal facts of their reality and let the boiling water of their trials change who they were. As their faith in God grew, they found strength to endure the persecutions heaped upon them until they finally had sufficient faith to be delivered from their bondage (see also 1 Nephi 17:3). In short, the people of Alma chose to be potatoes.

We often cannot control whether we end up in a figurative pot of boiling water; but we do get to choose whether we will put up walls of doubt and cynicism or face the brutal facts without losing faith that we, with the help of the Lord, will ultimately prevail. We get to choose whether we will be eggs or potatoes.

Admiral Stockdale said of his experience in Vietnam: "You have to understand, it was never depressing. Because despite all those circumstances, I never wavered in my absolute faith that not only would I prevail--get out of this--but I would also prevail by turning it into the defining event of my life that would make me a stronger and a better person."

The people of Helaman chose continue an attitude of learning and development-- they chose to be potatoes-- through the difficulties of war and the challenges of prosperity that followed. The scripture records that, "notwithstanding their riches, or their strength, or their prosperity, they were not lifted up in the pride of their eyes; neither were they slow to remember the Lord their God; but they did humble themselves exceedingly before him. Yea, they did remember how great things the Lord had done for them... And they did pray unto the Lord their God continually, insomuch that the Lord did bless them, according to his word, so that they did wax strong and prosper in the land" (Alma 62:49-51).

In the end, whatever our choices have been, eggs and potatoes are both needed to make a good potato salad. Though we'd be hard pressed to find a good potato salad that doesn't first require we take the eggs out of their shells.