Challenges, Gratitude and Blessings

"Nowhere Else to Go" by Nathan Greene

1863 was a year of great unrest in the United States. It began with President Lincoln’s controversial second executive order of the Emancipation Proclamation, specifying ten states in which slaves were to be freed. The Civil War raged on for a third year, including the particularly bloody Battle of Gettysburg.

In what is now Idaho, the U.S. Army massacred an encampment of Shoshone while some Shoshone and other tribes frequently attacked wagon trains headed to Oregon and Washington. In Kansas, guerilla confederates killed more than 150 civilians for their city’s abolitionist reputation. In California, volunteer cavalry massacred 35 Paiute men on the bank of the Kern River near Keyesville.

It was in 1863 that Congress passed the Enrollment Act that authorized a military draft and triggered the week-long New York Draft Riots. Five thousand women in Richmond, Virginia, rioted to protest the exorbitant price of bread. The first race riot in Detroit occurred when a white mob attacked the city’s black population. In cities around the country, protests against the war, slavery, poor wages and poor working conditions were common.

The fourth cholera pandemic of the Nineteenth century began in 1863, though it would take seven years to make its way from the Bengal region through Europe and Russia to the United States. Half of downtown Denver burned down in a fire-- some said it began with a protest against brothels—and more than a block of San Francisco was turned to ash in the Great San Francisco Fire. Florida was hit hard, as it seems they always are, by the unexpected Hurricane Amanda.

With challenges on every side, President Lincoln issued a proclamation toward the end of 1863:

“The year that is drawing towards its close,” he proclaimed, “has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God.”

President Lincoln listed blessings including rich natural resources, general order in society and a strong and vigorous union despite the ongoing war before concluding:

“No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American people.”

Lincoln then invited all Americans throughout the world to observe "a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens". He recommended that our penitence and worship also include fervently imploring, "interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union."

Earlier this month, President Nelson also invited us to experience the healing power of gratitude. Mindful of the global pandemic and its effects in our lives, and noting “a host of other ills” including “hate, civil unrest, racism, violence, dishonesty, and lack of civility,” President Nelson invited each of us to keep a gratitude journal on social media for seven days and unite in thanking God through daily prayer.

“We can all give thanks for the beauties of the earth,” he taught, “and the majesty of the heavens that give us an inkling of the vastness of eternity.

“We can give thanks for the gift of life, for our amazing bodies and minds, that allow us to grow and learn.

“We can give thanks for art, literature and music that nurture our souls.

“We can give thanks for the opportunity to repent, start over, make amends and build character.

“We can give thanks for our families, friends and loved ones.

“We can give thanks for the opportunity to help, cherish and serve one another, which makes life so much more meaningful.

“We can even give thanks for our trials; from which we learn the things we would not know otherwise.

“Most of all, we can give thanks unto God, the Father of our spirits, which makes us all brothers and sisters — one great global family.”

“Prayer brings forth miracles,” he explained, and practicing gratitude can help us be happier and have more peace in our lives. Despite a challenging year, and more difficulties likely headed our way, following this counsel from a living prophet has helped to calm our anxieties and find the joy in this season of “Thanksgiving and Praise.”

In counting our blessings, as President Nelson has encouraged us to do, we have also been reminded that many of our bounteous blessings have been so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come. I have found four habits that, when practiced, help me to remember my many blessings and feel more gratitude, peace and joy. These include striving to always remember my Savior, Jesus Christ, and be more like him; looking for the hand of the Lord in my life each day; seeking to have an eternal perspective, and separating my gratitude from temporary temporal achievements.

The Lord has taught that his ways are higher than our ways and his thoughts than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:5-9). As I remember the Savior and seek to build my life on the principles he has taught, I am more likely to respond to others with patience and understanding, to notice the beauty of nature, to remember my own weakness and all the Lord has done for me, and the covenants I have made that bind me to both magnificent eternal blessings and significant mortal duties. Striving to remember my Savior, Jesus Christ, changes who I am and helps me to maintain an uplifting sense of gratitude.

Of course, we all have bad days. Sometimes we might also feel like we have bad months and bad years. Looking for the blessings we receive, especially when we are feeling like life is hard, can open our eyes so we can see the love God has for each of us. This can be one of the greatest sources of strength we need for our lives.

A few years ago, as my family was driving home from church, my wife commented on what a good year our family had. We had welcomed a new child to the world, I received a promotion at work, we were able to travel to some new places around California and things seemed to be going well.

As I thought a little more about her comment, memories of events I did not enjoy as much also crept into my thoughts. Yes, a lot of good things had happened, but we also had the catastrophic Detwiler Fire, two significant flood events and snow that knocked out power for several days. Some turmoil persisted in my extended family and there had been months with more demands than we could meet and days when we just seemed out of sync. There had been illnesses and injuries and world events that added to a pile of evidence that could convince any jury we’d just had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year.

When I saw the world with my wife’s faith and optimism, I experienced a sense of gratitude that was encouraging and uplifting. As doubts came, my hope diminished and I began to re-live the stress and burdensome weight of life’s difficult experiences.

While the Lord can do all things, most of the time the blessings we receive are subtle. Speaking with particular reference to the law of tithing, Elder Bednar has taught:

“Often as we teach and testify about the law of tithing, we emphasize the immediate, dramatic and readily recognizable temporal blessings that we receive. And surely such blessings do occur. Yet some of the diverse blessings we obtain as we are obedient to this commandment are significant but subtle. Such blessings can be discerned only if we are both spiritually attentive and observant (see 1 Corinthians 2:14).

“The imagery of the ‘windows’ of heaven used by Malachi is most instructive. Windows allow natural light to enter into a building. In like manner, spiritual illumination and perspective are poured out through the windows of heaven and into our lives as we honor the law of tithing.”

Looking back over my life, I can see periods when my family has experienced an outpouring of light and understanding. Though I can see it so clearly now, it wasn’t always obvious at the time.

One such experience occurred while I was attending graduate school in Arizona. Soon after graduation, my wife and I accepted a job in Virginia. It was a big decision that came as a shock to a lot of our friends and family members. Some of them wondered out loud how we could make a decision so suddenly that wasn't even in realm of possibilities just the day before.

Of course, we hadn't made the decision suddenly at all. Years before we decided to move, we began praying for guidance and that we would be able to find a good job after graduate school. I paid close attention when my professors, most of whom were or had been active in my chosen profession, would give career advice. I interviewed for promotions within the company where I worked and started applying for jobs in my field around the metro area where I was attending school. I was constantly looking at job ads and talking with my wife about what we wanted from life, the kinds of communities where we would like to live and jobs that would help us reach our long-term goals.

Over time, my wife and I began to have experiences that helped to clarify the path ahead. One interviewer at my employer in Arizona told me I was overqualified and another told me it would be several years before the labor union would allow me to be considered for promotion. A guest practitioner in one of my classes shared stories from working in rural communities that resonated with me. When we traveled, we would discuss what we liked and disliked about the communities we visited. The same advice about mobility and finding a first job was repeated over and over and over again by professors, mentors, role models and career counselors.

As graduation approached I was getting anxious to find a position, but it was much easier to identify the jobs that would get us closer to our professional and family goals. My wife and I knew the jobs that were most likely to lead to management opportunities, the size and type of community where we wanted to live, where we could make the greatest contributions and which states and communities we were willing to call home. Four months after graduation, I interviewed in Virginia and accepted a position that was everything we had learned we wanted.

Looking back, there was not a single epiphany that dramatically changed our course. There was no grand revelatory moment where the Lord commanded us to move to Virginia. Instead, the Lord opened the windows of heaven and steadily poured out a thousand smaller experiences, thoughts and impressions that gradually opened our minds, clarified our goals, developed our skills and understanding, and has led us gently down the path to where we needed to be.

Recognizing the Lord’s hand guiding our lives has inspired a deep sense of gratitude in me. It has also given me confidence that the Lord continues to give guidance and direction, even when it is hard for me to see at the time. With this and so many other assurances that help me trust more fully in the Lord, I am able to worry less and enjoy greater happiness, testimony, strength, knowledge and prosperity than would be possible otherwise.

Sometimes, I admit, I don’t feel like I have the patience to be led gently down a path. I wish I could avoid some of the hardest experiences in my life and skip the anxiety of uncertainty. With riches as a symbol for an easier life, I want to shout with Tevye from The Fiddler on the Roof: “If riches are a curse, may the Lord smite me with them! And may I never recover!”

Perhaps we can all relate to Tevye’s yearnings when he prayed:

                Lord who made the lion and the lamb,

                You decreed I should be what I am;

                Would it spoil some vast, eternal plan,

                If I were a wealthy man?

Couldn’t things just be a little bit easier? Do we really need pandemics and wildfires and family members losing health and losing faith? Would that spoil God’s plan for us?

Then-Elder Dallin H. Oaks answered Tevye’s plea in a General Conference Address in 2003. “Yes, Tevye, it might,” he said. “The revelations, for which we are grateful, show that we should even give thanks for our afflictions because they turn our hearts to God and give us opportunities to prepare for what God would have us become… Let us give thanks for what we are and for the circumstances God has given us for our personal journey through mortality.”

Elder Anderson taught earlier this year that:

COVID-19 did not surprise the Lord, and He will use it to accomplish His purposes. ‘And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments’ (D&C 59:21).

This time, when society has paused, can be a time of great learning, a time to shift one’s focus from a temporal perspective to an eternal perspective. When these things come to us, of course there are worries… there are emotions and all kinds of pressures and things that are not comfortable.

Church members have an opportunity to stand back and say, ‘There is something about this that will be important for me.’ Perhaps above all else, it brings each of us humility. During these moments, God’s children are praying more often and more fervently.

"Stay on your knees longer and see what the Lord will teach you. There are always compensatory blessings in these times.

Along with the challenges, our family has seen many compensatory blessings throughout the novel coronavirus pandemic. We were grateful for a late snow in March that made it easier to want to stay inside. I appreciated the sacred responsibility to prepare and bless the sacrament for my children and to hear their testimonies in our at-home testimony meetings. I’ve been blessed to serve the families to whom I minister in meaningful ways and to learn from their experiences and wisdom. I’ve been fortunate to work from home much more often and to see my children excelling in their studies. Thanks to Zoom and other video conferencing apps, I can now have a long day of meetings in Sacramento and still be home for dinner.

Finally, we will experience greater gratitude and joy from striving to become grateful and cheerful people than we do from any temporary event or accomplishment. This may seem counter-intuitive. We may think, as Tevye did, that we could be more grateful if only we didn’t have a particular burden in our lives or if we had some blessing we feel we’re currently lacking. The world tells us that gratitude and happiness follow success.

The happiest person I've ever known was my maternal grandmother. Grandma Findlay grew up in the high deserts of eastern Utah during the Great Depression. She served at Fort Douglas in World War II then married my grandfather, a teacher, with whom she raised a family of eight children. Grandma lost a teenage son to cancer, gave countless hours in church and community service, and spent the last several years of her life selflessly caring for a husband with dementia even while her own health declined.

Despite all she had been through, I seldom saw Grandma when she wasn't quick to share a warm smile and make others laugh with her subtle, dry sense of humor. She had a sharp mind, enjoyed helping others be their best, and could tell from the kitchen if I was slouching while practicing on the living room piano. She was a talented pianist herself and enjoyed writing short stories and poetry. Grandma refused to say a negative word and would often rebut the unpleasant remarks of others with a simple exclamation of, "Oh, well!" Everyone who knew my grandma knew that "Oh, well!" meant that Grandma was about to turn the conversation in a more positive and uplifting direction.

Missionaries, researchers and world travelers have often been surprised to find that the happiest people, like my grandma, are often those in the most humble circumstances or with the most incredible challenges. While many celebrities who seem to have it all fight off depression, drug abuse and failed marriages, those who have been compelled to be humble are, in many cases, more grateful for what they have and experience greater happiness than those who appear to be prospering.

Social scientists have observed that when we place happiness on the other side of arbitrary successes, we end up spending all of our time pushing it farther and farther away while we pursue the next fleeting “success”. When we do well in school, we expect to do better the next time. When we get a good job, we start “climbing the ladder” for a better one. We make money and only end up wanting more than we have. Ultimately, of course, we never get to these kinds of successes for long, so we perpetually chase happiness until it disappears beyond the cognitive horizon and there’s nothing we can do to actually achieve happiness.

Gratitude is not something we get. It is not something we have. It is something we become. 

Author C.S. Lewis has observed, “What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of a person you are.”

When we become the kind of people who are sincerely grateful; when we become more like our Savior, acknowledge the bounty the Lord has given us, seek to see the events in our lives from an eternal perspective, and separate our gratitude from temporary successes; we will experience a greater realization of our potential including the greater happiness and joy the Lord wants us to experience.

President Nelson shared:

"Over my nine and a half decades of life, I have concluded that counting our blessings is far better than recounting our problems. No matter our situation, showing gratitude for our privileges is a fast-acting and long-lasting spiritual prescription.

"Does gratitude spare us from sorrow, sadness, grief, and pain? No, but it does soothe our feelings. It provides us with a greater perspective on the very purpose and joy of life."

In short, President Nelson echoed Paul’s admonition: “In every thing give thanks” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

This year, like 1863, has been filled with challenges, disappointments and turmoil. Yet, the year that is drawing towards its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God.

No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American people and all the children of our Heavenly Father.

What is Our Heavenly Father Really Like?

Fourteen years ago, I sat on the second or third row of a chapel in Frankfurt, Germany, listening to prelude music and watching the rain roll down thick, cobbled windows. The whole mission was in the chapel anticipating the instruction we would receive from Elder L. Tom Perry, who had recently been assigned as the president of the European Central Area.

After the opening hymn and prayer, Elder Perry stood to address us. He did not use the microphone, but walked off the dais and stood in front of the sister missionaries in the first row. There was a short pause while he gathered himself, and then, with his typical booming voice, Elder Perry declared his testimony in two simple words: “God lives.”

I do not remember anything else he said that day, but this testimony seemed to pierce my soul to the very center. I remember the power I felt as he said it and I felt my physical frame trembling for several minutes afterward. I had been on my mission for over a year and could cite many instances before and during my service when I had felt the Holy Ghost testify of truth. I had also had many epiphanies as a high school and college student learning math, chemistry, physics, psychology and the arts. The feeling I had on that day surpassed all. I knew in that moment that God was real.

While I cannot pretend to give you the same experience here today, I can share my testimony that I know God lives. He organizes and governs all things in the universe. He knows all things, has all power, and is present in all places through His Spirit. He sees every sparrow that falls, knows every secret and wills the creation of stars, planets and solar systems. He lends each breath to all living things. All of time-- past, present, and future-- is laid before Him, yet he is not subject to our time or our timing. He is eternal, immutable and divine. We worship him as Elohim, a Hebrew name meaning the gods, but he prefers that we call him Father.

One of the great assignments of our lives is to come to know our Heavenly Father as he really is. During his great intercessory prayer on our behalf, the Savior lamented: “O righteous Father, the world hath not known thee… And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou has sent” (John 17:25, 3).

Indeed, the world has not known Him. The Lakota tribes of North and South Dakota worshipped a “Great Spirit” they called Wankan Tanka, which means, “the Great Mystery”. Christian cultures are not any more clued in, often describing God with contradictions and portraying him in art and film as some variety of glowing orb, floating mist or unseen voice. Many people today are like those Paul found in Greece ignorantly worshipping at the altar of an "unknown God" (Acts 17:23).

This is not because God is hidden or hard to find. There is a great deal we can learn about God in the scriptures and the teachings of modern prophets. I will share some of those things here; but whatever we know about God, we really get to know Him by revelation as we draw near through prayer, serve his children on this earth, and diligently keep his commandments.

In other words, our personal relationship with our Heavenly Father, like any other relationship, requires our time and our attention. We should speak often with him, trust and rely on him and seek with a grateful heart to see his hand in our lives each day. Our testimonies will grow in proportion to our faith and our obedience; and if we look with sufficient faith, we’ll find that our eyes can be opened to see how He is in the details of our lives each and every day.

Now, with that introduction, I’d like to turn to the question suggested by Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. Who is the only true God, our Heavenly Father, and what is he really like?

Think for a moment about your idea of the perfect father. You may think of many traits your own fathers or grandfathers exhibited, or some things may be different, but I’d bet most of us are thinking of a lot of the same things. Let’s start simple and build up: he would be a man. He would be strong from hard work, but gentle with those he loves. He would love his children more than the whole world. He would respect women, especially his wife. He would be a man of faith and integrity. He would protect and provide for his family. He would teach his children discipline and help them to succeed. He would teach them how to be healthy and happy.

I have probably missed a few important things, but we’re well on our way to the point you know is coming.

Our Father in Heaven is an exalted man, separate and distinct from His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost who shares his influence. He has a body of flesh and bone just as we do (D&C 130:22). We look like him. He has a personality. He has feelings and emotions. He experiences great sorrow when his children suffer, when they sin, and when they commit horrific acts against one another. He also knows the thrill of watching his children overcome a difficult challenge or take a significant step in their journey back to him. Though he cannot always be physically with us, he loves it when we call.

Much of the world assumes that God has always been perfect; he has always been a god. We know that our Heavenly Father experienced mortality much as we do now and that he grew from grace to grace as we are are attempting to do. President Lorenzo Snow wrote the couplet, “As man now is, God once was: As God now is, man may be.”

Through eons of experience and hard work, our Heavenly Father has completed his development, so we say that he is perfect. He is perfect in his knowledge and power, but he is also perfect in his compassion, his empathy and his love for each of us. He understands what we are experiencing and he encourages us to continue in our development until we are complete. “Be ye therefore perfect,” the scriptures direct, “even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:48).

Many in the world see God as harsh and vengeful. Martin Luther taught that “those who see God as angry do not see him rightly”. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved” (John 3:16-17).

“For I am persuaded,” Paul wrote, “that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God” (Romans 8:38-39). Nephi wrote that the love of God, “sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; wherefore, it is the most desirable above all things… and the most joyous to the soul” (1 Nephi 11:22-23).

You and I are literally children of God. “And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together” (Romans 8). Our Father in Heaven offers us all he has because he loves us more than the whole world.

Our Father in Heaven is not a respecter of persons. He’s not impressed by the color of your skin or the country where you were born or the job that you have or wealth you have accumulated. His commandments are in effect for those with busy schedules, those who are lonely, those who are ignorant and those who are proud. Every soul, regardless of their status or circumstance, is of great worth to him-- worth his time, worth his effort, and worth his love.

The love of God includes a profound respect for women. He does not allow us to make our Heavenly Mother a profanity and he warns against abuse of spouse or offspring with the most serious language. He has placed women in some of the most crucial roles in the plan of salvation and trusts them to nurture and prepare each generation.

One of my favorite quotes from Karl G. Maeser, considered the founder of what became BYU, is his explanation of honor. “I have been asked what I mean by ‘word of honor’”, he said. “I will tell you. Place me behind prison walls--walls of stone ever so high, ever so thick, reaching ever so far into the ground-- there is a possibility that in some way or another I may escape; but stand me on the floor and draw a chalk line around me and have me give my word of honor never to cross it. Can I get out of the circle? No. Never! I’d die first!"

Likewise, our Heavenly Father commits with his word of honor that he is bound to keep his promises when we keep his commandments. It may seem a little obvious to say that God is a man of integrity, but it is crucial to understand if we are to trust him and trust is essential to walking the path toward eternal life. God keeps every promise. He always does what he says he will do.

One of the promises God has made to each of us is that he will pour out the blessings of heaven when we pay our tithing. My wife and I put this to the test when I completed graduate school and we moved for an entry-level job in Virginia. We had two kids, no contacts, a lot of debt and not very much income.

I don’t remember a specific instance when we got a check for exactly the amount we needed or found the food we couldn’t buy on our doorstep; but I do remember that our clothes seemed to last forever. As our kids grew, and we added one more, someone was always looking to donate the size we needed. Our car never broke down. The five dollar pizzas at Little Ceasars tasted amazing. Though we were living in a small house with a possum in the crawl space, life seemed abundant and we came to know our Heavenly Father better as we earnestly prayed for him to help us provide for our family’s needs.

I testify that your Father, who is in heaven, knows the things that you need. “Therefore,” the Savior taught, “Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are you not much better than they?...”

“And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you?... But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:25-26, 28-30, 33).

In addition to providing for our physical needs, our Heavenly Father is anxious to teach us how to be successful and happy. Consider for a moment what you would do if Bill Gates approached you with an offer you couldn’t refuse. Pretend for a moment that the email and the Facebook scams we’ve all seen are true. Bill Gates does want to make you a millionaire or billionaire, and here’s the deal: he’s going to give you the strategy to get there and if you can try pretty hard at it and show some persistence, he will give you the capital to make it the rest of the way. Would you do it?

God has achieved more than any of us can imagine. Even Bill Gates’ money is no object for him. Worldly strength and power are insignificant by comparison. His lifestyle and his joy are the ultimate rewards of eternity. He has cornered the market on peace and happiness; these are his currency. Yet, none of this is proprietary information. Like every good parent, he has given us commandments to protect us and help us learn and grow. He has laid out the path to follow and offers to share everything freely with anyone willing to accept his invitation. We agree to try through five saving ordinances: baptism, confirmation, ordination, endowment and sealing. Lest we fear failure, he has ensured our success within the scope of our agreement; he will provide all that we cannot so long as we sincerely try. He provided a Savior to show us how this was to be done.

Sometimes as we try to follow in our elder brother’s footsteps, course corrections are needed. Paul explained:

“For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?... Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For… he [chastens us] for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness” (Hebrews 12:6-7, 9-10).

While God loves all of his children, status quo is not his goal. Rather, he is focused on maximizing our potential. He has retired from whatever profession he may have once had, he’s seen what there is to see and there are no distractions to pull him away from the work of helping you and I, his family, succeed. His ways and his timing are often different from our own, but he is keenly interested in this work and wants each of us to be wildly successful as he measures it: in joy, in peace, in love and in faith. He will not take away our agency, but he gently guides us toward decisions that will ultimately lead us to our rightful places as heirs of his kingdom.

If you will remember what you thought was an ideal father, I think you’ll find we’ve discussed many of the core attributes of that ideal in the last several minutes. Each of us has a Father in Heaven who has known us for eons of time. He has walked the path we walk, appreciates our differences and sees the potential we all have to become like him. He is our biggest fan, our protector and provider, our mentor, our counselor, our teacher, our friend, our companion and our parent. He loves each of us more than the whole world.

Elder Bruce R. McConkie taught, “It is one thing to know about God and another to know him. We know about him when we learn that he is a personal being in whose image man is created; when we learn that the Son is in the express image of his Father’s person; when we learn that both the Father and the Son possess certain specified attributes and powers. But we know them, in the sense of gaining eternal life, when we enjoy and experience the same things they do. To know God is to think what he thinks, to feel what he feels, to have the power he possesses, to comprehend the truths he understands, and to do what he does. Those who know God become like him, and have his kind of life, which is eternal life” (Doctrinal New Testament Commentary, 3 vols. [1965-73], 1:762).

I have come to know God as I have seen his influence in my life during and since my mission in Frankfurt, Germany. He has helped me find peace when all was lost, share my testimony when I couldn’t find the words, repent when I have fallen short and learn truth when I did not know the way. He has shown me what it is to be father. He has provided for my family and brought joy into our home. So it is with confidence and admiration and love and joy that I can share my testimony that God lives.

That They Might Have Joy

The world is increasingly in commotion. There are political upheavals, wars and rumors of wars, personal tragedies, attacks on family values and all kinds of economic woes. One report to the United Nations confirmed that "weather-related disasters such as floods and heatwaves have occurred almost daily in the past decade, almost twice as often as two decades ago... Predictions of more extreme weather in the future almost certainly mean that we will witness a continued upward trend in weather-related disasters in the decades ahead" (Miles, Tom. Article linked).

While nightly news reports increasingly align with Biblical descriptions of "perilous times" when "nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes in divers places" (2 Timothy 3:1, Matthew 24:7), there are more personal disasters too. Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce; one in five Americans suffers from mental illness; almost a million people declare bankruptcy each year; we are afflicted by debilitating and life-threatening diseases and the suffering of those we love; and more people than ever are having crises of faith that eventually lead to having no faith at all.

President Boyd K. Packer summarized in 2004:

I know of nothing in the history of the Church or in the history of the world to compare with our present circumstances. Nothing happened in Sodom and Gomorrah which exceeds in wickedness and depravity that which surrounds us now.

Words of profanity, vulgarity, and blasphemy are heard everywhere. Unspeakable wickedness and perversion were once hidden in dark places; now they are in the open, even accorded legal protection.

At Sodom and Gomorrah these things were localized. Now they are spread across the world, and they are among us ("One Pure Defense", Feb 6, 2004).

Amid a world of stress, fear, chaos and wickedness, it is easy to become discouraged, worried or hopeless. Yet, the Lord has said that we can experience greater hope and peace in our lives as the prophecies that precede the Second Coming of Christ are fulfilled (Matthew 24:6; D&C 45:35). What's more, he has promised that the righteous in our times will be gathered while "singing with songs of everlasting joy" (D&;C 45:71). How can this be, when our lives are filled with so much suffering, confusion, oppression and difficulty?

The prophet Nephi experienced some of the conditions that are common to our day. As a young man, his father left a life of prosperity to take his family into the wilderness prior to the destruction of Jerusalem. On at least one occasion, the family nearly starved to death. Nephi's rebellious older brothers led wicked lives that led to a great deal of suffering for their family. They frequently fought with Nephi and tried to kill him and their father many times. As his posterity grew, Nephi's people separated into a new nation that took up arms to defend their liberties and their families from the descendants of Nephi's brothers that sought to enslave and destroy them.

Given all he experienced, we could easily expect Nephi to be a mess of a person with myriad mental afflictions worthy of our pity. Instead, Nephi writes that he and his people "lived after the manner of happiness" (2 Nephi 5:27). So what can we learn from Nephi's experience that will help us sing songs of everlasting joy despite the commotion all around us and even, at times, within us?

A further study of Nephi's resilience reveals that at least one source of strength was his unwavering focus on his purpose. The Lord has clearly declared his own mission relative to his children on the earth: "For behold, this is my work and my glory-- to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39). Our purpose within God's larger plan may seem less clear.

Leadership guru Ben Zander has observed that the reason for much of what we do is simply to "make our eyes shine". Shining eyes, he explains, reveal our joy in the journey and our hope for the future. Most of us tend to do things that we think will awaken opportunity in us and those around us.

Nephi said it this way: "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy" (2 Nephi 2:25). This is the purpose of our lives on earth: to have joy. Every commandment the Lord has given leads to this outcome. Joy is the reason for multiplying and replenishing the earth and joy is the reason for keeping the Sabbath Day holy. As we learn to better live by the laws that God has given us, we will discover a greater measure of joy in our daily lives.

That, of course, does not mean we'll always be happy. Consider Paul's counsel to the members of the ancient church in Hebrews 12:

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God...

Ye have not resisted unto blood, striving against sin... despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou are rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth...

Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby" (Hebrews 12:1, 2, 4, 6, 11).

None of us would suppose that the Savior was happy to be tortured and killed on the cross at Calvary, yet Paul explicitly states that Christ did so for the joy it brought him. Few of us take pleasure in the difficult challenges we encounter in life or in the humility of correction, but through the exercise of our trials we often grow in wisdom and find the peace that precedes the deepest joy.

Ultimately, like all else that is good in life, true joy is a gift from God predicated upon our ability to have his spirit to be with us. "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, [and] temperance" (Galatians 5:22-23). And, like all other gifts from God, he is anxious to share it with us if we will allow it: "If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?" (Matthew 7:11).

Painting by Greg Olson

The Lord illustrated how we can share in his joy in a vision given to Nephi's father, Lehi, and later to Nephi also. In the vision, Lehi was led to a glorious tree filled with the most delicious fruit he had ever tasted. He stated that the fruit was "desirable to make one happy" and that it "filled [his] soul with incredibly great joy" as he ate. The fruit was available to all, but many chose not to approach or left in shame after they had begun to eat.

The Lord explains later that the fruit Lehi saw was symbolic for the Love of God. Elder David A. Bednar has taught, "The greatest manifestation of God's love for His children is the mortal ministry, atoning sacrifice, and Resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ. The fruit on the tree can be considered a symbol for the blessings of the Savior's Atonement."

Because of the Savior's Atonement, each of us can receive joy as we exercise faith in Him, repent of our sins, make and keep sacred covenants including baptism and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost in our daily lives. Interestingly, and unsurprisingly, as we accomplish our purpose of having joy in this life, we are also attaining God's purpose to bring about the immortality and eternal life of man.

Modern scripture expounds upon the testimony of ancient prophets with prophecies of thunderings, lightnings, tempests, and "the waves of the sea heaving themselves beyond their bounds" (D&C 88:88-90). It continues, "And all things shall be in commotion; and surely, men's hearts shall fail them; for fear shall come upon all people" (D&C 88:91). Yet, the Lord has promised that we need not be troubled when we see these things going on around us.

Ben Zander has suggested that if we are not finding joy in the goals and activities of our lives, we need only to "move the goalposts". As we turn to the Lord and strive to better live the gospel outlined in the Holy Scriptures-- that is, as we live after the manner of happiness-- our eyes can shine and we can sing the heartfelt songs of everlasting joy even in the darkness and chaos that sometimes surrounds us. This is our purpose here on the earth: that we might have joy.

Faith in Impossible Christmas Stories

Our family recently rebooted our daily scripture study. We had done well for awhile, encountered a few distractions and then suddenly realized it had been weeks since we had sat down together to read. We needed a reminder and a new burst of motivation.

The day after we started reading again, our oldest son came to his mom with some confessions. He is seven years old and his admissions were mainly focused on fibs and half-truths he had told about things that had happened at school. More confessions came on the second day and it really seemed like our family scripture study was helping him make better choices.

On the third day, he confessed again on the drive home from school. When he had vented, he added with concern, "Hey, Mom? Do you think that Santa will still bring me a present since I fixed it?"

So that's it.

Of course, my son's behavior is based on an impossible premise. There's just not enough time for one old man on a reindeer-powered sleigh to deliver hundreds of millions of presents around the world in a single night. Behavioral scientists observing my son's behavior might then conclude that his behavior has been completely irrational-- and they would be right except for two important details: first, my son is making decisions with imperfect information; and second, despite his lack of knowledge, his faith in Santa has always been rewarded as promised.

Indeed, our faith in Christ operates in much the same way. Though we are often "left in the dark" when it comes to the details, the Lord encourages us to live his gospel and see for ourselves whether our faith will be rewarded as promised. Just as my son ascribes Santa's deliveries to magic, we often see the fulfillment of God's promises as miracles-- and at no time do we celebrate our belief in those miracles more than during the Christmas season.

The biblical account of the first Christmas begins with the miraculous story of an angel who appeared to Zacharias in the temple. The angel told Zacharias that his wife, who had not been able to have children and was now "well stricken in years," would have a baby boy. Such a birth was not only improbable, but physiologically impossible.

A few months later, the same angel appeared to announce another impossible birth. This time he was speaking to Mary, a young woman engaged to the rightful heir of King David's throne. According to the commandments of the Lord and the customs of the day, the couple had remained chaste prior to their wedding:

And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. And behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name Jesus...

Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?

And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God... For with God nothing shall be impossible. (Luke 1:30-31, 34-35, 37).

In both cases, the appearance of an angel alone may seem unlikely if not viewed through the lens of faith; but the subsequent pregnancies of a virgin and a barren old woman challenge even the faithful. Yet, as the angel instructs, with God nothing shall be impossible. The question is not whether his word will come to fruition, but how we respond to even the most impossible promises.

Perhaps we will be logical, like Zacharias, who was skeptical of the angel's message though the divine messenger stood before him. His skepticism made his experience more difficult, but when his wife bore a son as the angel had prophesied he was ready to believe.

Mary's fiance had a similar reaction. We don't know what, if anything, Mary shared of her experiences, but Joseph sought to break off their engagement until he saw the angel himself in a dream. His vision persuaded him to believe the impossible and move forward with the wedding.

Elizabeth, Zacharias' wife, had been "righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless" despite living her entire life in a culture that incorrectly believed that her inability to have children was a form of divine punishment (Luke 1:6). Clearly, she was a woman of faith. Yet, knowing her conception was impossible, Elizabeth appears to withhold judgment for several months. Finally, she allowed her hope to sprout a greater faith and rejoiced that the Lord had taken away her shame. When Mary visits a month or so later, Elizabeth instantly recognizes the joy of her unborn child and testifies that Mary is the mother of the Christ.

Mary was also a woman of faith who, according to the angel, had found favor with God. When she heard the angel's impossible news, she responded with a humble and willing statement of faith. "Behold, the handmaid of the Lord," she said, "be it unto me according to thy word" (Luke 1:38). When Elizabeth saluted her as "blessed... among women," Mary gave a similar response: "My soul doth magnify the Lord, And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour. For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call be blessed. For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name" (Luke 1:46-49).

None of us knows all of the details about how Mary and Elizabeth conceived their miraculous children, nor are those details particularly important to our salvation, but as we respond with faith we will benefit from the many promises made possible by the lives of Jesus Christ, our Savior, and his Elias, John the Baptist. We can receive a remission of our sins, the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost, knowledge to guide us through our most vexing problems and happiness in times of trial.

We can also receive greater faith that with God nothing is impossible. At Christmas we celebrate that a virgin did conceive and bear a son. That son walked on water and calmed the storms; turned water to wine and fed thousands with a few loaves of bread and some small fish; healed the blind, the leprous and the paralyzed; brought the dead back to life; atoned for our sins and was resurrected. Because of Him, we can see estranged family members reunited, be relieved of physical or mental anguish, find the strength to forgive, have a chance to pursue our impossible dreams and return to live with our families in the presence of God forever.

There were many others who responded to the impossible news of Christ's birth. Three kings traveled for years to bring gifts and worship him. King Herod tried to kill him. Simeon and Anna looked for him their entire lives and immediately recognized him and rejoiced when they saw the Christ child in the temple. Our experience will depend a great deal on our response to his invitations. Will we be skeptics, like Zacharias, and throw rocks into our own path; or will we allow "he that is mighty" to do "great things" in our lives because of our faith in him?

One indication may be our efforts to understand and rely on Christ through our study of the scriptures. Though our family may not always be consistent, it is a blessing in our lives to know that our faith-inspired study does indeed help our son, and all of us, respond with readiness to the Lord's invitations to serve his children. We don't know exactly how but we've noticed that it always seems to work-- no cookie tax required.

Magic Mirrors and the Perfect Law of Liberty

About an hour east of Frankfurt, Germany, is the small city of Lohr. Like hundreds of other European cities, the highlight of Lohr is the spectacular castle that was once the center of a bustling fiefdom. Inside, visitors find thousands of evidences of the wealth and luxury of its former occupants, but none more striking than the iconic Lohr Mirror.

The Lohr Mirror Manufacture of the eighteenth century was truly ahead of its time. After thousands of years of using pools of water or polished copper to produce faint and distorted reflections, the Lohr Manufacture had developed an elaborate production process that resulted in more reflected light and much clearer images.

By the 1720s, Lohr mirrors had gained a reputation for "always speaking the truth" and became a favorite gift of the European crown and aristocratic courts. Like Narcissus of Greek mythology, who fell in love with his own reflection and would rather die than part with it, it was during the heyday of the Lohr Mirror Manufacture that people began to be accused of spending excessive amounts of time "looking into the glass," almost always in self-admiration.

It was also during this period that Phillipp Christoph von Erthal gave an elegant full-length Lohr mirror to his second wife, the Countess Claudia Elisabeth von Venningen, to display in the Lohr Castle where they lived. When Phillipp died in the 1740s, local legend says the "talking mirror" became the center of Claudia's life. Increasingly obsessed with her own image, Claudia soon began to be insanely jealous of her step-daughter, the Baroness Maria Sophia von Erthal, whom the people of Lohr adored as an "angel of mercy and kindness" and the ideal princess.

Before long, Maria, who is better known today as the Grimm Brothers’ "Snow White", was forced to flee 22 miles through the mountains to escape her stepmother's murderous plots. She found sanctuary for a time in the mining community of Bieber, which was primarily staffed by children at the time, until her stepmother found and poisoned her there.

The fairy tale gets a little strange at this point, but in the story of the Countess von Venningen, we find a troubling obsession with self-image that, like Narcissus, leads to physical and spiritual death. We can expect a similar consequence if we hold our own self-interest like a mirror between us and the rest of the world, for it will severely inhibit our ability to make connections, build relationships and see and enjoy all that is good about life. In selfish and narrow-minded seeking for whatever life we've conjured up for ourselves, the Lord has promised that we will lose our lives (Luke 17:33).

The tragedies of Narcissus, the Countess and others like them are made worse by the realization that the images that have so captivated their subjects are nothing more than distorted reflections of physical light, void of substance and incapable of showing the viewer a complete picture of the reality within or around them. The Lord told Samuel that he, "seeth not as a man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7). Though our physical appearance may deceive ourselves and others for a time, the Lord knows the reality of who we are and our inner thoughts, desires and emotions.

We can now and someday all will have a perfect knowledge of who we really are. Paul wrote that "for now we see through a glass, darkly," but that one day, "when that which is perfect is come," we will see these realities "face to face" (1 Corinthians 13:12). This includes the glorious truths of our divine heritage. The Family: A Proclamation to the World declares that "all human beings--male and female--are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny."

James, the brother of Jesus, taught us how we can see ourselves as we really are. "For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer," he said, "he [or she] is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what matter of man he was. But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed" (James 1:23-25). 

The particular language here provides us the insights we need. Both Paul and James speak of perfection in contrast to our present vision, and more particularly, in contrast to what we see in the mirror. Paul tells us that we will see clearly “when that which is perfect is come”. James suggests that looking into the perfect law of liberty is in direct competition with looking forgetfully at our reflection. But how do we look into a law? And how does that really contrast with the man who looked into the mirror-- like Narcissus and the Countess-- yet forgot who he really was?

In a 1981 General Conference address, President Marion G. Romney reminded us that many of those with the greatest political and economic freedom never experience true freedom of the soul. "Free agency," he cautioned, "precious as it is, is not of itself the perfect liberty we seek, nor does it necessarily lead thereto. As a matter of fact, through the exercise of their agency more people have come to political, economic, and personal bondage than to liberty."

Yet, "notwithstanding the fact that through its misuse, political, economic and personal liberty are lost, free agency will always endure because it is an eternal principle. However, the free agency possessed by any one person is increased or diminished by the use to which he puts it" ("The Perfect Law of Liberty", October 1981, emphasis added).

In other words, we "are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil" (2 Nephi 2:27). This is not done all at once, but each choice we make either adds to our freedom or to our bondage. The Countess von Venningen had nearly unlimited political and economic freedom. She could have won the affection of her people by throwing wonderful parties or planting elaborate gardens or easing their burdens. Instead, she allowed each glance at the mirror to narrow her vision and replace potential for joy with enraged jealousy until she became a slave to her obsession and sealed her own fate to an eternal bondage.

Contrast the Countess' experience with the Apostle Paul, who was often persecuted and penniless. He wrote to the Corinthians:

Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness" (2 Corinthians 11:24-27).

Despite all of this, Paul wrote to Timothy shortly before his death: "I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing" (2 Timothy 4:6-8). Paul, who forfeited economic and political freedom to become a disciple of Christ, and who was writing from a prison cell in Rome, expresses here the perfect freedom of the soul he enjoyed despite earthly tribulations.

Christ taught that "whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin. And the servant abideth not in the house for ever: but the Son abideth forever. If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed" (John 8:34-36). And again, "they who are not sanctified through the law which I have given unto you, even the law of Christ, must inherit another kingdom, even that of a terrestrial kingdom, or that of a telestial kingdom. For he who is not able to abide the law of a celestial kingdom cannot abide a celestial glory" (D&C 86:21-22). And again, "Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven" (D&C121:45).

This, then, is the perfect law of liberty: that as we choose obedience to the laws of Christ, we will find liberty of the soul in direct proportion to our obedience until our obedience and our liberty become perfect. If we look into the perfect law of liberty, that is, if we lay aside our filthiness and become doers of the word as James directs, the light that is reflected back at us will not be imperfect physical rays but the perfect light of Christ, of the gospel, and of things as they really are (D&C 93:28, Jacob 4:13). 

"That which is of God is light," the Lord taught the Prophet Joseph Smith, "and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day" (D&C 50:24). When we follow President Monson's counsel to defy the consensus and choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong, we are choosing liberty and eternal life rather than captivity and death and we will receive more spiritual light as a result-- but there are really two processes going on at once.

First, through our faithful action upon the words of God we receive more light and truth from the Lord. We will be capable of even greater faith and obedience. But second, and of equal or greater importance, is that as we continually repent and improve in our obedience we are refined, not unlike a Lohr Mirror, until we become mirrors of spiritual light that "always speak the truth". That is, we undergo a process of learning and refining until we perfectly reflect his image in our countenances (Alma 5:14).

"Ye are the light of the world," the Lord taught, "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven" (Matthew 5:14-16). Our goal in striving to obey the words of scripture, of modern prophets, and of the Holy Ghost, is not to become our own dim light in the world but rather that through our good works our brothers and sisters will see the Light of the World, our Savior and theirs, and come into his fold.

To be able to reflect that light, James again directs: "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world" (James 1:27). "And that thou mayest more fully keep thyself unspotted from the world," the Lord has taught us in modern times, "thou shalt go to the house of prayer and offer up thy sacraments upon my holy day" (D&C 59:9).

As we strive to live the gospel, we are both receivers and reflectors of the light that gives liberty to us all. If we choose, our light and liberty can grow until the Lord's image is reflected in our countenance and, thus endowed with light and truth, we will stand confidently in the presence of God as one of his fold, not as rulers of a small fiefdom but as heirs to the supreme celestial light and glory of the King of Kings and the Creator of the Universe (John 10:14, Matthew 7:31, D&C 93:36, John 3:21).

Then, perhaps, you'll also have a chance to meet the real Snow White. If you do, perhaps you can also ask her what that business with the prince was really all about.

The Psychology of Gratitude

In 1943, Psychological Review magazine published Abraham Maslow's, "A Theory of Human Motivation". In an era when psychology focused on the mentally ill, Maslow had studied exemplary individuals like Albert Einstein, Frederick Douglass and Eleanor Roosevelt to explain what is now well known around the world as the hierarchy of human needs.

You have almost certainly heard of Maslow's Needs, but in essence, Maslow suggested that each of us have certain needs that must be met for us to be at our best. Our needs range from the most basic, like eating and breathing, to those with more complexity and depth like confidence, love and achievement. As we develop and grow, each tier of needs can be a stepping stone or an obstacle to our progress. The love of our friends and family can help us develop the confidence to solve difficult problems; but on the other hand we may struggle a great deal to be creative if we are hungry, worried about finances or arguing with a family member.

There are many gospel lessons wrapped into this small pyramid. We can easily see the wisdom of prophetic counsel to keep food storage on hand, the importance of self-reliance and the essential role family relationships play in our lives. The pyramid helps explain how our fast offerings and charitable donations can not only get a family through a difficult financial situation but also improve their family relationships and put individuals in a better state to commune with God.  It shows the downward spiral of addictions and vice; the damage we do to ourselves when we are angry with others; and the incalculable returns of faith as acceptance of facts even when we do not yet understand them, repentance as a way of correcting and improving our course in life and kindness toward others as a life philosophy.

Most of us tend to do a quick evaluation of our own lives when we review Maslow's pyramid. We all move up and down the hierarchy throughout the day and over weeks and months and years, but almost always we find an opportunity or two in our review that we are sure we can address to improve our productivity and enjoy greater life satisfaction. Wherever we find ourselves on the pyramid, there is one principle that can always lift us up.

In his book, The Magician's Nephew, C.S. Lewis wrote, "What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are." In other words, the reality we experience depends a great deal on how we perceive it. And, by the same token, our perceptions will be informed by who we are and what we desire from our experiences.

The happiest person I've ever known was my maternal grandmother. Grandma grew up in the deserts of eastern Utah during the depression years of the 1930s. She served at Fort Douglas in World War II then married my grandfather, a teacher, with whom she raised a family of eight children. Grandma lost a teenage son to cancer, gave countless hours in church and community service, and spent the last several years of her life selflessly caring for a husband with dementia even while her own health declined.

Despite all she had been through, I seldom saw Grandma when she wasn't quick to share a warm smile and make others laugh with her subtle, dry sense of humor. She had a sharp mind, enjoyed helping others be their best, and could tell from the kitchen if I was slouching while practicing on the living room piano. She was a talented pianist herself and enjoyed writing short stories and poetry. Grandma refused to say a negative word and would often rebut the unpleasant remarks of others with a simple exclamation of, "Oh, well!" Everyone who knew my grandma knew that "Oh, well!" meant that Grandma was about to turn the conversation in a more positive and uplifting direction.

Grandma seemed to spend most of her time near the top of Maslow's hierarchy, but her experience is hardly unique. Missionaries, researchers and world travelers report finding the happiest people are often those in the most humble circumstances or with the most incredible challenges. This seems counter-intuitive to us because the prevailing social theory has long been that happiness follows success.

The trouble is, if happiness is on the other side of success, we end up spending all of our time pushing happiness farther and farther away while we pursue the next fleeting success. When we do well in school, we expect to do better the next time. When we get a good job, we start "climbing the ladder" for a better one. We make money and only end up wanting more than we have. Ultimately, of course, we never get to "success", at least not for long, so we continue to push until happiness eventually disappears beyond the cognitive horizon and there's nothing we can do to actually achieve happiness.

Instead of refuting Maslow's theory, the humble but happy around the world provide an important insight: they remind us that the satisfaction of each tier of needs, in terms of our ultimate happiness and productivity, depends only on our perception of their fulfillment. When we put happiness on the other side of arbitrary successes, we allow our own covetousness to tint our perception so that our needs are never met and we slide down the pyramid. This is why so many "successful" celebrities spend so much time on the bottom half of the pyramid. On the other hand, when we are sincerely grateful and can see the bounty of what we have, we can move up the hierarchy because we are satisfied even when we may not have as much.

The Lord taught: "He who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more" (D&C 78:19). Grandma wasn't happy because she was successful; she was successful because she was happy and she was happy because she was grateful. Like other attributes, gratitude grows as it is practiced. As we learn to see the good in our lives-- to view the pyramid of Maslow's needs and count our blessings rather that looking only for what needs to be fixed-- we will find the Lord has already given us all we need to rise to the top of the pyramid if we will only be grateful enough to see it.

Later in his life, Maslow returned to his hierarchy with this final insight: "The most fortunate are those who have a wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder and even ecstasy."

A Mirage of Beliefs and Worships

In 1983, magician David Copperfield wowed a live audience when he made the Statue of Liberty disappear before their very eyes, even shining strobe lights through the open air where the Statue once stood to satisfy even the staunchest skeptics. Or did he?

Most magic tricks are illusions that rely on a combination of distractions, perceptual distortions and creative engineering. Copperfield employed all of these elements to deceive and delight his audience: the dark of night and two large pillars on stage restricted the audience's view, stage lighting and a fake radar system gave the audience false cues about what they were seeing, and loud music helped to hide a slow rotation of the stage and seating area. When the seating area had turned so that Lady Liberty was safely hidden behind one of the pillars, the curtain came up and spotlights confirmed nothing but open air. The audience, now disconnected from the reality of what they were seeing, applauded in astonished approval.

In the audience of a magician, we are delighted by the unexpected and the unexplainable. It's far less charming when, often without even knowing, we are confronted by illusions in our lives that have been creatively engineered to distort our perception and distract our pursuits. Like the mist of darkness in Lehi's vision, the world offers an abundance of false cues and figurative loud music that will ultimately disconnect us from reality and lead us down broad roads where we wander off and are lost (1 Nephi 8:23). In the midst of the mist we may unknowingly become blinded to true principles and deceived by errant thinking, social pressures, cynicism and doubt.

President Benson said it this way:

Without [Christ] we would be lost in a mirage of beliefs and worships, born in fear and darkness where the sensual and materialistic hold sway. We are far short of the goal he set for us, but we must never lose sight of it; nor must we forget that our great climb toward the light, toward perfection, would not be possible except for his teachings, his life, his death, and his resurrection" (April 1964).

Mirages are optical illusions that most often occur when light is refracted by hot air. They can be difficult to discern until we approach where they appear and discover nothing but a hot emptiness.

The mirages of the world are just as real in appearance and just as void upon arrival. The pursuit of worldly mirages can lead us far away from the person we want to be and the life we hope to have.

Consider, for example, the mirage of money. Most of the world's money today is found in the data banks of computers. The bank has a number stored for me and a number stored for you. If you think about it, that's really all you have-- a number. Our economies can function based on these numbers sitting on computer databases because we have all agreed to pretend the numbers we have are valuable. We accept addition for our hard work and subtraction in exchange for the things we want.

We are playing the same game whether our currency is a number on a computer, a stack of paper bills, gold and silver, or a 20-foot chunk of donut-shaped limestone as once used on the Micronesian island of Yap; there is little inherent value to any of these items-- it's all an awesome game of pretend we play our entire lives. In fact, it's so awesome and can get us so many things (even a trip to the Micronesian island of Yap) that it is easy to believe that a bigger number at the bank or a larger accumulation of those things will make us happy.

The trouble is, money isn't real in the first place. We made it up because it was easier than trading livestock and loaves of bread. We made it up to help us all get the food and shelter and services we need. We didn't make it up to make people happy; and those who build their happiness on money will find they are just as disconnected from reality and the real things that can really make them happy as someone in the audience of a great magician.

Like a dark mist or a mirage, much of what we encounter in the world is empty or contains too little substance to provide a foundation for real joy and happiness. Many build their identities on their academic or athletic achievements, only to find these are subjective and temporary. Status and fame are often fleeting. Recreation and fun lose their appeal when tragedy strikes and our hearts are heavy. Pornographic images cannot love us back. Video game victories are erased by a drop of water or a poorly placed magnet. Labels placed on us, whatever they may be, eventually fade and peel.

In 2001, Bishop McMullin warned of the mirage of worldly preoccupation with self. "The highs are counterfeit," he taught, "the lows are disparing. Love, kindness, personal fulfillment, and genuine self-worth are found in service to God and others, not in service to oneself" (An Invitation with a Promise, 2001).

Similarly, Elder Bednar has taught that "sadly, some [men and women] in the Church today ignore 'things as they really are' and neglect eternal relationships for digital distractions, diversions, and detours that have no lasting value." He continued:

Please be careful of becoming so immersed and engrossed in pixels, texting, earbuds, twittering, online social networking, and potentially addictive uses of media and the Internet that you fail to recognize the importance of your physical body and miss the richness of person-to-person communication. Beware of digital displays and data in many forms of computer-mediated interaction that can displace the full range of physical capacity and experience (Things as They Really Are, 2010).

In these prophetic warnings about the mirages of the world we see that there are many ways we can be fooled into giving up what matters most for an attractive illusion. However these illusions may deceive our senses for a time, they cannot quench our thirsts for purpose, joy, love and belonging.

Prophetic teachings also teach us about what is real: Loving and kind relationships filled with service and communication, covenants such as baptism and eternal marriage, physical experience and a grounded knowledge in things as they really are enhance our lives and bring lasting satisfaction.

In Lehi's dream, the iron rod through the mist of darkness was the word of God. If we are lost in a mirage of beliefs and worships without Christ, certainly with Christ we are anchored in reality and receive a clearer focus on what we want most in life. Like watching a magic trick after we have learned the trick, we are better able to discern reality when we embrace the word of God in the scriptures, revealed through modern prophets and written on our hearts by the Holy Ghost.

Jacob taught:

The spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these things are manifested unto us plainly, for the salvation of our souls (Jacob 4:13).

Ultimately, the spirit and the words of the prophets will lead us to our Savior, Jesus Christ. He is the living water that can quench our thirst. He has blazed a trail through the mist and engraven the path upon the palms of his hands. Through his atonement we find healing and strength, love for self and others, compassion, knowledge, service, power, lasting joy and eternal glory. Though the world will offer innumerable counterfeits and illusions that leave us with only vacant space, holding to the word of God will safely guide us through this life and back to that God that created all that is real.

Happiness and Ancient History

Tutankhamun was about nine years old when he became the Pharaoh of Egypt. During his reign from 1332 - 1323 BC, Egypt prospered by improving trade relations with their neighbors. Then, at age 19, Tutankhamun died suddenly. Scientists do not agree on the cause of death, but historical records indicate that the young king had walked with a cane and may have suffered from epilepsy. The prevailing theory is that Tutankhamun broke his leg, as found in his mummified remains, during an epileptic seizure. When the leg became infected, the already-frail leader was unable to fight the bacteria and ultimately died a premature death.

While we can't be sure of the cause of Tutankhamun's death, his tomb leaves no doubt of his incredible wealth. Ancient Egyptians were often buried with worldly possessions because they believed they would need those possessions in the afterlife. Kings were venerated through the construction of large pyramids and tombs filled with riches. In 1922, Howard Carter and George Herbert found Tutankhamun's tomb, his mummified remains, and more than 3,000 treasures-- most of them solid gold. Though one of Egypt's lesser Pharaohs and buried in an unusually small tomb for his stature, Tutankhamun has been immortalized as 'King Tut', one of the best known images of ancient history.

King Tut's discovery underscores not only the wealth and history of ancient Egypt but also our own inability to carry our possessions with us when we die. For some the phrase 'you can't take it with you', which became popular after Tut was found more than 90 years ago, has become an excuse to 'eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die' (2 Nephi 28:7). This school of thought supposes that we will maximize our joy in life by spending all we have on things that will bring pleasure today.

Abd Al-Rahman III was an emir and caliph in 10th-century Spain that lived by the can't take it with you philosophy. As an absolute ruler he lived complete luxury. He wrote of his life, 'I have now reigned above 50 years in victory or peace; beloved by my subjects, dreaded by my enemies, and respected by my allies. Riches and honors, power and pleasure, have waited on my call, nor does any earthly blessing appear to have been wanting to my felicity'.

Yet, as is often the case, the more fame, fortune and pleasure Al-Rahman acquired, the more he wanted and the less satisfied he became with his life. He later wrote: 'I have diligently numbered the days of pure and genuine happiness which have fallen to my lot. They amount to 14.'

The story of Al-Rahman and a scientific explanation of his tragic plight was included in a recent edition of the New York Times. The entire article is worth reading.

Like the Spanish monarch and the ancient ruler of Egypt, many of us today spend the majority of our time in pursuit of money, recognition and pleasure. We want to do whatever we feel like doing; and, truth be told, our natures are hard wired to pursue money, recognition and physical pleasures-- sexual pleasure, in particular. This is how Mother Nature ensures we pass on our DNA and preserve our species. But, as one well-respected economist has observed, this is where the evolutionary cables have crossed:

'We assume that things we are attracted to will relieve our suffering and raise our happiness,' he explained. 'My brain says, "Get famous." It also says, "Unhappiness is lousy." I conflate the two, getting, "Get famous and you'll be less unhappy."'

'But that is Mother Nature's cruel hoax,' he continued. 'She doesn't really care either way whether you are unhappy-- she just wants you to want to pass on your genetic material. If you conflate intergenerational survival with well-being, that's your problem, not nature's. And matters are hardly helped by nature's useful idiots in society, who propagate a popular piece of life-ruining advice: “If it feels good, do it.” Unless you share the same existential goals as protozoa, this is often flat-out wrong.'

Social sciences are only now very gradually coming to understand the truths the gospel has taught for thousands of years. Alma taught his son, Corianton, around 74 BC:

And now, my son, all men that are in a state of nature, or I would say, in a carnal state, are in the gall of bitterness and in the bonds of iniquity; they are without God in the world, and they have gone contrary to the nature of God; therefore, they are in a state contrary to the nature of happiness (Alma 41:11).

Abinidi taught the wicked King Noah: 'Remember that he that persists in his own carnal nature, and goes on in the ways of sin and rebellion against God, remaineth in his fallen state and the devil hath all power over him' (Mosiah 16:5).

Perhaps most famously, King Benjamin taught his people:

For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father (Mosiah 3:19).

Christ thought this message was so important that he taught it to the Jews in Jerusalem and repeated it almost verbatim to the people in the Americas. 'Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and thieves break through and steal,' he said.

This teaching from the Savior is particularly credible. Not only did he teach without purse or scrip or 'where to lay his head', but the scripture records that he was explicitly tempted with wealth, fame and pleasure by the devil himself. Satan, the father of lies, first tempted Christ to turn rocks to bread to bring soothing pleasure his fasting stomach. Satan next tempted Jesus to throw himself from the temple and let concourses of angels rescue him in the city center, an act that would undoubtedly bring fame and silence his critics. Finally, the devil promised the Savior untold wealth and kingdoms if he would worship evil. In all cases, Christ refused to heed to temptation and cast the devil from his midst (Matthew 4).

In these verses to the Nephites and the Jews, the the Savior teaches us, who are likewise tempted to compromise our principles for worldly gain, how to avoid or successfully respond to the temptation. First, don't worry about worldly wealth, fame or physical pleasure. 'But', his sermon continued, 'lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.'

King Tut's tomb suggests that the treasures of heaven are different from the treasures of earth that Satan uses to tempt and mislead those who will follow him. Where Satan delights in the misery of the rich and famous (and those in pursuit on one scale or another), our Father in Heaven has provided a plan for our happiness regardless of our material riches. Christ's teaching gives us another clue should anyone suppose that gold and silver not pursued today will collect gold and silver with interest after death. Inasmuch as there will be rain and moths in the Celestial Kingdom-- both strong possibilities given that said kingdom will be here upon this earth-- we must also conclude the treasures of heaven are made neither of metal nor of fabric in order that they might not rust nor be corrupted by moths.

So what are the incorruptible treasures of heaven? At least three speakers addressed this question in the April 2014 General Conference. Elder Anderson stated very directly that 'Families are the treasure of heaven' (April 2014). Elder Donald Rasband taught that we accumulate treasures in heaven as we 'us[e] our time, talents, and agency in service to God.' Finally, Elder Michael Teh taught that the treasures of heaven include Christlike attributes such as faith, hope, humility, and charity; family relationships; and an understanding and testimony of the doctrine of Christ.

In other words, the treasures of heaven are not a pile of gold bars or a Beverly Hills mansion that will be thrust upon you when you die, but rather an accumulation of the attributes, relationships, and knowledge you develop on earth. They are not a tomb full of incredible riches, the fame of a monarch, or all the pleasures in the world. Whether or not those things exist in the Celestial Kingdom, the real treasure of heaven is our own, genuine, eternal happiness made possible by the atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

This being the case, we should note that Christ's teaching to 'lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth... but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven' indicates that it is not enough for us to simply stop coveting pleasure, fame and riches, but we must also be actively engaged in a good cause, helping others and developing our own character in the process. To us, as to the rich man who had kept the commandments from his youth, Jesus says, 'If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me' (Matthew 19:20-21).

The final verse of Christ's instruction to the Jews and Nephites, respectively, teaches us the guiding principle: 'where your treasure is,' the Savior taught, 'there will your heart be also' (3 Nephi 13:21). If our treasure is our food, our careers, the number of Facebook friends we have, or the sum of our bank accounts, then we have not yet put off the natural man and are in a state contrary to the nature of happiness. Fortunately for us, repentance is simple. If we would change our hearts and become as saints and children, we need only to change what we treasure. 'He that findeth his life shall lose it,' the Lord cautioned, 'and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it' (Matthew 10:39).

We can't take worldly wealth with us after death, but the things that matter most can't be kept in a tomb. If we set our hearts on our relationships including service to others, on developing knowledge and refining our characters, then 'ye shall be the richest of all people', the Lord has said, 'for ye shall have the riches of eternity' (D&C 38:39).

Which leads us to a final question: if riches are a bad thing, why have so many of the Lord's anointed been wealthy? Or really, why have any of them been so well off?

Abraham filled entire valleys with his livestock and had an army of servants at his command large enough to invade Sodom and rescue Lot. Joseph was among the most senior leaders of a prosperous Egypt. Lehi left considerable gold and silver when he left Jerusalem. Many of the apostles and other leaders in the Church today have had prosperous careers as lawyers, pilots, engineers, doctors, professors and businessmen.

Jacob taught, 'Before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God. And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good' (Jacob 2:18-19). Here again we see the instruction to lay up treasures in heaven first as we pursue the kingdom of God through righteous living, but Jacob adds that after we have done this riches will come if we seek them.

That the riches of earth follow the pursuit of heavenly treasures is neither coincidence nor a case of getting gold bars dumped on us randomly because we said our prayers and watched a session of conference this year. We know that 'there is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated-- And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated' (D&C 130:20-21).

In many cases, relative wealth is the natural consequence of a life focused on relationships, knowledge, and self-improvement. This statistical relationship has significant support. The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics estimates that 70 percent of all jobs are found through networking. People with doctorate degrees are five times less likely to be unemployed and make more than four times as much annual income on average than a high school dropout. In other words, people focused on what matters most-- relationships, knowledge and character--are more likely on average to find good work, keep good work, and do good work.

If we treasure the treasures of heaven, spreading the good fortune of our riches will be a part of who we are. We will use our riches for the intent to do good-- to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer to the sick and the afflicted-- and our wealth will not be a curse but a great blessing to the kingdom of God.

We will also need to continue to be diligent. Speaking to the earliest of the modern saints in 1831, most of whom were very poor but whose collective posterity is among the wealthiest on earth, the Lord cautioned not to treasure our treasure: 'It must needs be that the riches of the earth are mine to give,' he taught. 'But beware of pride, lest ye become as the Nephites of old' (D&C 38:39).

It is too late for Abd Al-Rahman III to add happy days to his life; but yours are still adding up. The only question left is what you'll choose to treasure in your heart-- and how happy you will be with your treasure.