Before any of us were born there was a great council in heaven to
plan for the earth on which we live, our mortal lives and our eventual
exaltation. Planning, including setting and reaching goals, always has been and
always will be an essential part of gospel living. Elder Ballard has famously
taught that, “If we don’t set goals in our life and learn how to master the
techniques of living to reach our goals, we can reach a ripe old age and look
back on our life only to see that we reached but a small part of our full
potential.”
Goals, plans and resolutions can be difficult to implement. We
often begin like the people of Lehonti that summited a mountain to avoid
unnecessary war: “fixed in [our] minds with a determined resolution” (Alma
47:6) to lose weight or read our scriptures or get out of debt. It seems like
everything is going to go our way. This is the year we reach our goal!
And then the rationalizations start. Soon, we find ourselves
willingly walking down the mountain… and into a trap.
We’ve all been there; but unlike Lehonti’s army we don’t have to
stay there. If you’ve had trouble setting or keeping meaningful goals that help
you excel in life, perhaps a return to the core principles of planning will
help you find a more successful approach. Here are five keys to setting resolutions
that are both extraordinary and reachable.
First, planning of any sort starts with a vision of what the
future looks like. Proverbs teaches that “where there is no vision, the people
perish” (29:18). In case it isn’t obvious to you, breaking resolutions within
three days counts as perishing—and it could just be because you haven’t thought
about it enough.
Before you set a single goal, take time to dream. What will you
look like if you lose that weight? How will you feel getting that big
promotion? How will your demeanor change if you read your scriptures
consistently? How will your relationships be if you make time for date night or
playing with your kids? What would life be like with children that have been
taught to be independent or the financial standing to retire and serve a
mission?
Think about who you want to become and fall in love with that version
of yourself. This is a critical step in the process—and often the most
neglected. Goals are not expectations to live up to but possibilities to live
into; just as God “created all things… spiritually, before they were naturally
upon the face of the earth” (Moses 3:5), we have to visualize our possibilities
before we can make them reality. Even if
you don’t set any goals at all for a month or two months or three, make sure
you can see the light at the end of your tunnel.
Next, with your vision in mind, you can begin developing plans to
become your future self. If you are working toward a new career or a big
promotion, what additional education or experience do you need? How will you
change your diet or find more time to exercise to reach your fitness goals?
When will you practice playing the guitar, speaking in public, hitting your
golf ball into the fairway or cooking in a dutch oven?
No matter our goal, we should always have a plan that outlines how
we will be successful. The oft-quoted axiom is true: failing to plan is planning
to fail.
I learned this as a young missionary in Central Europe. Elder
Perry was our area president and his office was ten steps across a parking lot
from the stake center where many of our meetings were held. He loved to come to
our meetings, even when he wasn’t scheduled to make an appearance, and he would
always take the time to shake all of our hands.
While shaking hands, Elder Perry would often ask us about our
plans: plans for our areas; plans for our missions; and plans for life after
our missions. We learned quickly that “I’m not sure yet” wasn’t an acceptable
answer. “Always have a plan,” he would say. Your plan may change from time to
time, but always have a plan you are committed and working to achieve.
Our plans will likely include friends, family, coworkers and
others upon whom we will rely to reach our vision. Life’s greatest successes
and eternity’s greatest joys can only be reached by people working
interdependently. You should identify your role in the plan and the role you
will ask the people around you to play. Your role in whatever plan you conceive
is your personal mission statement.
When you have laid out your vision and identified the major steps
along the way, the third key to setting reachable resolutions is to begin to
walk toward your goal. We don’t need to see every detail to start. Planning of
any sort is a faith exercise. As we begin striving in the direction of our
vision, the details will become clearer.
Like many students, I started college without a clear idea of what
I wanted for a career. I first enrolled as a physics major. Then I decided to
be a pilot. By my sophomore year I had decided to go to graduate school. I
wasn’t entirely sure whether I would go to medical school or business school or
law school, but I knew I wanted to be a professional something. I chose to study economics because it was a rigorous
study that would help me get into whatever graduate school I chose.
As an undergraduate student, I was often tempted to stray from the
path I had chosen. The recreation management majors, after all, spent their
days hiking and rafting, or at least I assumed they did; meanwhile, I was
sitting in the library trying to figure out why the entire Greek alphabet was
involved in my econometrics formulas. With the help of frequent prayers and a
wife with more sense than I have, I managed to make it to my senior year
studying economics. I still didn’t know what I was going to do for graduate
school.
One day at church, an inspired conversation with a friend
introduced me to a graduate program I hadn’t previously considered. I
researched and applied to several programs, including one that I attended.
Excellent advisors and mentors have helped me make wiser choices along the way
and introduced me to the career field I have pursued.
Each decision along my path has taught me more about myself and
clarified the details of my vision of the future. I still do not see every step
along the way, but starting to walk down the path has helped me learn to
discern opportunities that will move me toward my vision from distractions that
would leave me wandering around the same metaphorical block or losing sight of
my ultimate goals.
A vision, appropriate plans, and the faith to start walking are
necessary but insufficient elements for long-term success. The fourth key to
extraordinary and reachable resolutions is to identify our core values.
This summer, my family took a trip to New York State. We had never
been before and talked excitedly for months about our visions of seeing Niagara
Falls, the Statue of Liberty and the Hill Cumorah Pageant. As we began to plan
however, we soon learned that it was just as important to plan our route as it
was to plan the destinations we wanted to see. Did we want to take toll roads
or drive around them? Was there a more efficient route that allowed us to see
more? Where would we stop to sleep each night?
Our core values help us know which way to go when we face
decisions in our lives. When traveling across New York, my family chose places
to stay based on the safety, price and proximity to the attractions we wanted
to see. These factors made it easier to decide when and where we would stop for
the night. Your family may have chosen to stay somewhere with more amenities or
an even lower price based on what is important to you. In the same way, our
values help us know what decisions to make to get the outcomes we are seeking.
Of course, sometimes we make decisions that are inconsistent with
our values. We stay in a dirty hotel even though we can’t stand it and end up
not sleeping well. Or we buy something we think we want only to regret the
purchase later. Explicitly identifying our core values helps us strategically
and consciously improve our decisions so they can propel us toward our vision
more effectively.
Because each of us is unique, explicitly stating our values only
works if we are authentic to what is really important to us. This is not the
place for aspirational statements. Values are not goals and the values we want
but don’t yet have won’t help us.
As someone who does strategic planning for my organization for a
living, I had tried more than once to develop a vision with a plan and stated
values for my family—and more than once it had failed to catch on. My research
for those plans indicated that faith, love, knowledge, opportunity and action
were five values often stated in one way or another by families I admired. The
trouble is, that’s not a very convincing argument for three kids ages five and
under.
Looking closer at who we are as a family revealed that we are a
family that values adventure. We are devout and family-oriented. We are
independent and love to learn. Honestly, these values sound a lot like the ones
I had researched, but the researched values were not personal or authentic to
our family. Now when we come to a fork in the road, or even just want to find
something to do for the weekend, we decide to do the adventurous thing—and
we’re happier and making greater progress toward our family vision because of
it.
Finally, we all must ultimately realize that success is not earned—it
is given. The fifth key to successful resolutions is to trust completely in God
and recognize his hand as the giver of life’s greatest successes.
In the Old Testament we read of a conflict between Gideon’s 32,000
men and 135,000 Midianites (Judges 7:1-3). Despite being desperately
outnumbered, the Lord told Gideon, “The people that are with thee are too many
for me to give the Midianites into their hands, lest Israel vaunt themselves
against me, saying, Mine own hand hath saved me” (v. 2). Only after the Lord
commanded Gideon’s army be reduced to a mere band of only 300 men—less than one
percent of its original size and now outnumbered 400 to 1—did the Israelite
soldiers trust enough in God to be victorious.
How would you pray if you knew the odds were stacked against you
as they were against Gideon’s army? How would you converse with the Lord if you
knew your life was on the line and it was impossible for you to save it
yourself? If we will pray with that same earnestness, nothing will be
impossible for us.
This is the same lesson the Lord
taught the sons of Mosiah. After serving fourteen years as missionaries, Ammon
celebrates their successes among the Lamanites. The key to their success is in
verse 22 of Alma 26:
Yea, he
that repenteth and exerciseth faith, and bringeth forth good works, and prayeth
continually without ceasing—unto such it is given to know the mysteries of God; yea, unto such
it shall be given to reveal things
which have never been revealed; yea, and it shall be given unto such to bring thousands of souls unto
repentance, even as it has been given unto
us to bring these our brethren to repentance (emphasis added).
Many of us talk about our goals
as if we just need to try harder or muster more discipline or resolve; but
muster as we may, how often do we set the same goal over and over and over
again? Ammon did not earn his greatest successes and we will not earn ours. Our
willpower alone is not enough. If it were, we would have already done the
things we dream of doing.
Immediately following Moses’ death, Joshua became the new leader
of the Israelites. He was uncertain about how to move forward. The Lord
explained his vision for Joshua and taught him how to find success: “This book
of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein
day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written
therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have
good success. Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be
not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever
thou goest” (Joshua 1:8-9).
President Eyring has taught that
we “need strength beyond ourselves to keep the commandments in whatever
circumstance life brings us.” Like Ammon, we must recognize that we are
“nothing” because “as to [our] strength [we are] weak” (Alma 26:12). Even the
Savior withdrew from the multitudes at times to pray and receive strength from the
angels of heaven (Luke 22:43). If we will do the same, the Lord will be with us
always to give us success.
From the beginning the Lord has planned for our every success. He
has a vision of what we can become. Through his prophets, he has taught us that
“all human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a
beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a
divine nature and destiny” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign, Nov.
2010, 129). Each means all of us-- not collectively but rather
every one of us individually-- have a divine destiny, or the potential to be
like our Heavenly Father and live the life he lives. There are no exceptions. The
Lord sees this glorious potential in you and in me.
He has been putting plans in place to help us reach that potential
for eons. The Lord told Jeremiah, “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew
thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I
ordained thee a prophet unto the nations” (Jeremiah 1:5). He planned the
creation of the earth, the mortal life that teaches us to repent and serve God,
and the opposition in all things that makes our choices meaningful and refines
our judgment (Alma 42:4, 2 Nephi 2:11, Moses 3). He planned the families and
dear friends that support us and the challenges that teach us valuable lessons.
At the center of it all he planned a perfect atonement to pay for our sins and
enhance our efforts (Mosiah 14). We shouted for joy in the premortal realm when
we learned of the plan that made possible our immortality and eternal life (Job
38:7, Moses 1:39).
The values that guide our path back to Him are contained in His
gospel. Faith, repentance, hope, charity, endurance and obedience help us see
the straight and narrow path to our divine destiny. Temptations will surely
come to stray from that path, but the more we rely on gospel values the
brighter they shine and the clearer our vision of what the Lord has in store
for us becomes.
Whether you envision a closer and more loving family, a healthier
life, achievement in your professional life, or something else entirely, the
Lord is anxious to bless us if we will begin walking toward our vision with
faith. He has been planning our success for thousands, maybe millions of years
and he delights in our progress. If we will rely on him, he will fight our
toughest battles. He will go before our face, he will be on our right hand and
on our left, his spirit will be in our hearts and his angels will be round
about us to bear us up (D&C 84:88).
Through faithful planning we can reach a ripe old age and look
back to find we’ve walked a great deal of the path toward our potential. We can
prepare to return to live with our Heavenly Father again. And we can succeed in
whatever resolution we pursue.
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