Challenges, Gratitude and Blessings

"Nowhere Else to Go" by Nathan Greene

1863 was a year of great unrest in the United States. It began with President Lincoln’s controversial second executive order of the Emancipation Proclamation, specifying ten states in which slaves were to be freed. The Civil War raged on for a third year, including the particularly bloody Battle of Gettysburg.

In what is now Idaho, the U.S. Army massacred an encampment of Shoshone while some Shoshone and other tribes frequently attacked wagon trains headed to Oregon and Washington. In Kansas, guerilla confederates killed more than 150 civilians for their city’s abolitionist reputation. In California, volunteer cavalry massacred 35 Paiute men on the bank of the Kern River near Keyesville.

It was in 1863 that Congress passed the Enrollment Act that authorized a military draft and triggered the week-long New York Draft Riots. Five thousand women in Richmond, Virginia, rioted to protest the exorbitant price of bread. The first race riot in Detroit occurred when a white mob attacked the city’s black population. In cities around the country, protests against the war, slavery, poor wages and poor working conditions were common.

The fourth cholera pandemic of the Nineteenth century began in 1863, though it would take seven years to make its way from the Bengal region through Europe and Russia to the United States. Half of downtown Denver burned down in a fire-- some said it began with a protest against brothels—and more than a block of San Francisco was turned to ash in the Great San Francisco Fire. Florida was hit hard, as it seems they always are, by the unexpected Hurricane Amanda.

With challenges on every side, President Lincoln issued a proclamation toward the end of 1863:

“The year that is drawing towards its close,” he proclaimed, “has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God.”

President Lincoln listed blessings including rich natural resources, general order in society and a strong and vigorous union despite the ongoing war before concluding:

“No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American people.”

Lincoln then invited all Americans throughout the world to observe "a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens". He recommended that our penitence and worship also include fervently imploring, "interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union."

Earlier this month, President Nelson also invited us to experience the healing power of gratitude. Mindful of the global pandemic and its effects in our lives, and noting “a host of other ills” including “hate, civil unrest, racism, violence, dishonesty, and lack of civility,” President Nelson invited each of us to keep a gratitude journal on social media for seven days and unite in thanking God through daily prayer.

“We can all give thanks for the beauties of the earth,” he taught, “and the majesty of the heavens that give us an inkling of the vastness of eternity.

“We can give thanks for the gift of life, for our amazing bodies and minds, that allow us to grow and learn.

“We can give thanks for art, literature and music that nurture our souls.

“We can give thanks for the opportunity to repent, start over, make amends and build character.

“We can give thanks for our families, friends and loved ones.

“We can give thanks for the opportunity to help, cherish and serve one another, which makes life so much more meaningful.

“We can even give thanks for our trials; from which we learn the things we would not know otherwise.

“Most of all, we can give thanks unto God, the Father of our spirits, which makes us all brothers and sisters — one great global family.”

“Prayer brings forth miracles,” he explained, and practicing gratitude can help us be happier and have more peace in our lives. Despite a challenging year, and more difficulties likely headed our way, following this counsel from a living prophet has helped to calm our anxieties and find the joy in this season of “Thanksgiving and Praise.”

In counting our blessings, as President Nelson has encouraged us to do, we have also been reminded that many of our bounteous blessings have been so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come. I have found four habits that, when practiced, help me to remember my many blessings and feel more gratitude, peace and joy. These include striving to always remember my Savior, Jesus Christ, and be more like him; looking for the hand of the Lord in my life each day; seeking to have an eternal perspective, and separating my gratitude from temporary temporal achievements.

The Lord has taught that his ways are higher than our ways and his thoughts than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:5-9). As I remember the Savior and seek to build my life on the principles he has taught, I am more likely to respond to others with patience and understanding, to notice the beauty of nature, to remember my own weakness and all the Lord has done for me, and the covenants I have made that bind me to both magnificent eternal blessings and significant mortal duties. Striving to remember my Savior, Jesus Christ, changes who I am and helps me to maintain an uplifting sense of gratitude.

Of course, we all have bad days. Sometimes we might also feel like we have bad months and bad years. Looking for the blessings we receive, especially when we are feeling like life is hard, can open our eyes so we can see the love God has for each of us. This can be one of the greatest sources of strength we need for our lives.

A few years ago, as my family was driving home from church, my wife commented on what a good year our family had. We had welcomed a new child to the world, I received a promotion at work, we were able to travel to some new places around California and things seemed to be going well.

As I thought a little more about her comment, memories of events I did not enjoy as much also crept into my thoughts. Yes, a lot of good things had happened, but we also had the catastrophic Detwiler Fire, two significant flood events and snow that knocked out power for several days. Some turmoil persisted in my extended family and there had been months with more demands than we could meet and days when we just seemed out of sync. There had been illnesses and injuries and world events that added to a pile of evidence that could convince any jury we’d just had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year.

When I saw the world with my wife’s faith and optimism, I experienced a sense of gratitude that was encouraging and uplifting. As doubts came, my hope diminished and I began to re-live the stress and burdensome weight of life’s difficult experiences.

While the Lord can do all things, most of the time the blessings we receive are subtle. Speaking with particular reference to the law of tithing, Elder Bednar has taught:

“Often as we teach and testify about the law of tithing, we emphasize the immediate, dramatic and readily recognizable temporal blessings that we receive. And surely such blessings do occur. Yet some of the diverse blessings we obtain as we are obedient to this commandment are significant but subtle. Such blessings can be discerned only if we are both spiritually attentive and observant (see 1 Corinthians 2:14).

“The imagery of the ‘windows’ of heaven used by Malachi is most instructive. Windows allow natural light to enter into a building. In like manner, spiritual illumination and perspective are poured out through the windows of heaven and into our lives as we honor the law of tithing.”

Looking back over my life, I can see periods when my family has experienced an outpouring of light and understanding. Though I can see it so clearly now, it wasn’t always obvious at the time.

One such experience occurred while I was attending graduate school in Arizona. Soon after graduation, my wife and I accepted a job in Virginia. It was a big decision that came as a shock to a lot of our friends and family members. Some of them wondered out loud how we could make a decision so suddenly that wasn't even in realm of possibilities just the day before.

Of course, we hadn't made the decision suddenly at all. Years before we decided to move, we began praying for guidance and that we would be able to find a good job after graduate school. I paid close attention when my professors, most of whom were or had been active in my chosen profession, would give career advice. I interviewed for promotions within the company where I worked and started applying for jobs in my field around the metro area where I was attending school. I was constantly looking at job ads and talking with my wife about what we wanted from life, the kinds of communities where we would like to live and jobs that would help us reach our long-term goals.

Over time, my wife and I began to have experiences that helped to clarify the path ahead. One interviewer at my employer in Arizona told me I was overqualified and another told me it would be several years before the labor union would allow me to be considered for promotion. A guest practitioner in one of my classes shared stories from working in rural communities that resonated with me. When we traveled, we would discuss what we liked and disliked about the communities we visited. The same advice about mobility and finding a first job was repeated over and over and over again by professors, mentors, role models and career counselors.

As graduation approached I was getting anxious to find a position, but it was much easier to identify the jobs that would get us closer to our professional and family goals. My wife and I knew the jobs that were most likely to lead to management opportunities, the size and type of community where we wanted to live, where we could make the greatest contributions and which states and communities we were willing to call home. Four months after graduation, I interviewed in Virginia and accepted a position that was everything we had learned we wanted.

Looking back, there was not a single epiphany that dramatically changed our course. There was no grand revelatory moment where the Lord commanded us to move to Virginia. Instead, the Lord opened the windows of heaven and steadily poured out a thousand smaller experiences, thoughts and impressions that gradually opened our minds, clarified our goals, developed our skills and understanding, and has led us gently down the path to where we needed to be.

Recognizing the Lord’s hand guiding our lives has inspired a deep sense of gratitude in me. It has also given me confidence that the Lord continues to give guidance and direction, even when it is hard for me to see at the time. With this and so many other assurances that help me trust more fully in the Lord, I am able to worry less and enjoy greater happiness, testimony, strength, knowledge and prosperity than would be possible otherwise.

Sometimes, I admit, I don’t feel like I have the patience to be led gently down a path. I wish I could avoid some of the hardest experiences in my life and skip the anxiety of uncertainty. With riches as a symbol for an easier life, I want to shout with Tevye from The Fiddler on the Roof: “If riches are a curse, may the Lord smite me with them! And may I never recover!”

Perhaps we can all relate to Tevye’s yearnings when he prayed:

                Lord who made the lion and the lamb,

                You decreed I should be what I am;

                Would it spoil some vast, eternal plan,

                If I were a wealthy man?

Couldn’t things just be a little bit easier? Do we really need pandemics and wildfires and family members losing health and losing faith? Would that spoil God’s plan for us?

Then-Elder Dallin H. Oaks answered Tevye’s plea in a General Conference Address in 2003. “Yes, Tevye, it might,” he said. “The revelations, for which we are grateful, show that we should even give thanks for our afflictions because they turn our hearts to God and give us opportunities to prepare for what God would have us become… Let us give thanks for what we are and for the circumstances God has given us for our personal journey through mortality.”

Elder Anderson taught earlier this year that:

COVID-19 did not surprise the Lord, and He will use it to accomplish His purposes. ‘And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments’ (D&C 59:21).

This time, when society has paused, can be a time of great learning, a time to shift one’s focus from a temporal perspective to an eternal perspective. When these things come to us, of course there are worries… there are emotions and all kinds of pressures and things that are not comfortable.

Church members have an opportunity to stand back and say, ‘There is something about this that will be important for me.’ Perhaps above all else, it brings each of us humility. During these moments, God’s children are praying more often and more fervently.

"Stay on your knees longer and see what the Lord will teach you. There are always compensatory blessings in these times.

Along with the challenges, our family has seen many compensatory blessings throughout the novel coronavirus pandemic. We were grateful for a late snow in March that made it easier to want to stay inside. I appreciated the sacred responsibility to prepare and bless the sacrament for my children and to hear their testimonies in our at-home testimony meetings. I’ve been blessed to serve the families to whom I minister in meaningful ways and to learn from their experiences and wisdom. I’ve been fortunate to work from home much more often and to see my children excelling in their studies. Thanks to Zoom and other video conferencing apps, I can now have a long day of meetings in Sacramento and still be home for dinner.

Finally, we will experience greater gratitude and joy from striving to become grateful and cheerful people than we do from any temporary event or accomplishment. This may seem counter-intuitive. We may think, as Tevye did, that we could be more grateful if only we didn’t have a particular burden in our lives or if we had some blessing we feel we’re currently lacking. The world tells us that gratitude and happiness follow success.

The happiest person I've ever known was my maternal grandmother. Grandma Findlay grew up in the high deserts of eastern Utah during the Great Depression. She served at Fort Douglas in World War II then married my grandfather, a teacher, with whom she raised a family of eight children. Grandma lost a teenage son to cancer, gave countless hours in church and community service, and spent the last several years of her life selflessly caring for a husband with dementia even while her own health declined.

Despite all she had been through, I seldom saw Grandma when she wasn't quick to share a warm smile and make others laugh with her subtle, dry sense of humor. She had a sharp mind, enjoyed helping others be their best, and could tell from the kitchen if I was slouching while practicing on the living room piano. She was a talented pianist herself and enjoyed writing short stories and poetry. Grandma refused to say a negative word and would often rebut the unpleasant remarks of others with a simple exclamation of, "Oh, well!" Everyone who knew my grandma knew that "Oh, well!" meant that Grandma was about to turn the conversation in a more positive and uplifting direction.

Missionaries, researchers and world travelers have often been surprised to find that the happiest people, like my grandma, are often those in the most humble circumstances or with the most incredible challenges. While many celebrities who seem to have it all fight off depression, drug abuse and failed marriages, those who have been compelled to be humble are, in many cases, more grateful for what they have and experience greater happiness than those who appear to be prospering.

Social scientists have observed that when we place happiness on the other side of arbitrary successes, we end up spending all of our time pushing it farther and farther away while we pursue the next fleeting “success”. When we do well in school, we expect to do better the next time. When we get a good job, we start “climbing the ladder” for a better one. We make money and only end up wanting more than we have. Ultimately, of course, we never get to these kinds of successes for long, so we perpetually chase happiness until it disappears beyond the cognitive horizon and there’s nothing we can do to actually achieve happiness.

Gratitude is not something we get. It is not something we have. It is something we become. 

Author C.S. Lewis has observed, “What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of a person you are.”

When we become the kind of people who are sincerely grateful; when we become more like our Savior, acknowledge the bounty the Lord has given us, seek to see the events in our lives from an eternal perspective, and separate our gratitude from temporary successes; we will experience a greater realization of our potential including the greater happiness and joy the Lord wants us to experience.

President Nelson shared:

"Over my nine and a half decades of life, I have concluded that counting our blessings is far better than recounting our problems. No matter our situation, showing gratitude for our privileges is a fast-acting and long-lasting spiritual prescription.

"Does gratitude spare us from sorrow, sadness, grief, and pain? No, but it does soothe our feelings. It provides us with a greater perspective on the very purpose and joy of life."

In short, President Nelson echoed Paul’s admonition: “In every thing give thanks” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

This year, like 1863, has been filled with challenges, disappointments and turmoil. Yet, the year that is drawing towards its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God.

No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American people and all the children of our Heavenly Father.