Affliction, Potato Salad and the Stockdale Paradox

Around 60 B.C., after a power-hungry expatriate and his followers caused a fourteen-year war between two ancient American nations, the prophet Helaman wrote:

And thus [we had] wars, and bloodsheds, and famine, and affliction, for the space of many years. And there had been murders, and contentions, and dissensions, and all manner of inquity... But behold, because of the exceedingly great length of the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility (Alma 62:39-41).

Like these ancient people, we are surrounded today by all manner of wars and afflictions. We frequently find ourselves obliged, like the Nephites, to defend, "our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our [spouses], and our children" on social media, in our communities and in our nations (Alma 46:12). We have all undoubtedly also witnessed friends and family members who, in the middle of these dangerous circumstances, have hardened in their hearts and been overcome by bitterness, cynicism and worldly pressures. Perhaps we have also felt an onslaught of adversity and wondered how long we could endure when it seems at times that we are hopelessly outnumbered.

In such times, we can find a great reminder in the simple pleasure of a potato salad. Both of the key ingredients in a good potato salad, potatoes and eggs, are boiled in water for several minutes before they can be added to the salad. Interestingly, while the boiling water softens the potatoes, the eggs, encased in their shells, become hardened in the same circumstance.

During the Vietnam War, Admiral James Stockdale was held as a prisoner for more than seven years. He was tortured more than twenty times and had no way of knowing whether he would survive the war or ever see his family again. He told author Jim Collins:

"This is what I learned from those year in the prison camp, where all those constraints just were oppressive. You must never ever ever confuse, on the one hand, the need for absolute, unwavering faith that you can prevail despite those constraints with, on the other hand, the need for the discipline to begin by confronting the brutal facts, whatever they are."

The Lord has taught that he refines us and chooses us in the furnace of affliction (Isaiah 48:10; 1 Nephi 20:10). Our trials, in other words, are opportunities to become stronger and better people.

This point seems lost on the children of Israel in Moses' day. They endured the mass murder of their children, slavery and all its accompanying ills, and many years wandering in the desert without a home. They also saw many miracles. Yet, many of the children of Israel ultimately chose to harden their hearts, worship the golden calf, turn from Moses amid the poisonous serpents, and ultimately perish in the wilderness rather than allowing their hearts to soften and change. In the literal and figurative heat of affliction, the children of Israel built barriers of cynicism and doubt that would not permit the Lord to refine them and to make them His. In the midst of wars and afflictions, the children of Israel chose to be eggs.

On the other hand, the people of Alma were also pursued by a king for their faith and fled their homes only to become slaves to their enemies. A particularly hateful man became their ruler, persecuting them heavily and killing anyone who so much as said a prayer. When these trials were not immediately removed, it would have been easy for this people to become as cynical and angry as the children of Israel.

Instead, the scriptures say, "they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord" (Mosiah 24:16). Without barriers, they confronted the brutal facts of their reality and let the boiling water of their trials change who they were. As their faith in God grew, they found strength to endure the persecutions heaped upon them until they finally had sufficient faith to be delivered from their bondage (see also 1 Nephi 17:3). In short, the people of Alma chose to be potatoes.

We often cannot control whether we end up in a figurative pot of boiling water; but we do get to choose whether we will put up walls of doubt and cynicism or face the brutal facts without losing faith that we, with the help of the Lord, will ultimately prevail. We get to choose whether we will be eggs or potatoes.

Admiral Stockdale said of his experience in Vietnam: "You have to understand, it was never depressing. Because despite all those circumstances, I never wavered in my absolute faith that not only would I prevail--get out of this--but I would also prevail by turning it into the defining event of my life that would make me a stronger and a better person."

The people of Helaman chose continue an attitude of learning and development-- they chose to be potatoes-- through the difficulties of war and the challenges of prosperity that followed. The scripture records that, "notwithstanding their riches, or their strength, or their prosperity, they were not lifted up in the pride of their eyes; neither were they slow to remember the Lord their God; but they did humble themselves exceedingly before him. Yea, they did remember how great things the Lord had done for them... And they did pray unto the Lord their God continually, insomuch that the Lord did bless them, according to his word, so that they did wax strong and prosper in the land" (Alma 62:49-51).

In the end, whatever our choices have been, eggs and potatoes are both needed to make a good potato salad. Though we'd be hard pressed to find a good potato salad that doesn't first require we take the eggs out of their shells.

The Gardens of Our Hearts

There are many times in scripture when you and I are compared in metaphor to the trees of an orchard or the grain of the field. One such occasion is in the third chapter of Matthew when John the Baptist preaches in the wilderness of Judea. John's growing popularity had become a concern for the ruling classes who had gained power and wealth by subjecting the people to often ridiculous additional rules and regulations cloaked as inspired additions to the Law of Moses.

Speaking to these ruling classes, but also to all of us, John declared: "If ye receive not [the preaching of him whom God hath sent] in your hearts, ye receive not me; and if ye receive not me, ye receive not him of whom I am sent to bear record; and for your sins ye have no cloak. Repent, therefore, and bring forth fruits meet for repentance" (JST Matthew 3:34-36).

Like a tree or a staff of grain, each of us bears the fruit of our labor. Worthy actions and desires are equivalent to good fruit in the metaphor. John reminds us that true repentance includes receiving God's word in our hearts and then changing our actions so that we may again be worthy of the Lord's harvest. Lest we think we can repent half-heartedly or offer impure fruits to the Lord, John reminds his listeners that "the axe is laid unto the root of the trees: therefore every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire" (Matthew 3:10).

A lot can be and has been said about how we can change our actions, but John's repentance flowchart dictates that we focus first on planting the right seeds in good ground or, in other words, cultivating righteous desires in our pure, receptive hearts. This is also the focus of another agrarian metaphor, the Parable of the Sower, which Christ shared with an audience similar to John's. In the parable, which could also be called the Parable of the Soils, a sower goes out to plant seed in his field. Some of the seed falls into the road, some onto rocks, some into patches of weeds and some onto good ground where it can grow strong and bear fruit.

Two of the soils in this parable-- the rock and the road-- are hard and impenetrable. People with similarly hardened hearts may appear do everything right on the surface, but ultimately are unable to produce good fruit because they lack the depth of conviction and the ongoing spiritual nourishment to support their testimonies through tough questions or a difficult season in life.

Likewise, if we plant desires in our hearts that are not consistent with the word of God, even if they seem to be good at the time, we may find one day that the fruit we hoped to grow has been suffocated by other plants. The Savior taught that "where your treasure is, there will your hearts be also" (Matthew 6:21). We cannot plant our fields with corn and then be surprised when there's no wheat to harvest.

Elder Ardern recently reminded us that planting the right seeds in our hearts requires our attention and intention. "With the demands made of us," he said, "we must learn to prioritize our choices to match our goals or risk being exposed to the winds of procrastination and being blown from one time-wasting activity to another" (A Time to Prepare, October 2011). If we truly desire the things of God, we may find it necessary to do a little weeding from time to time to keep our growth on track.

Finally, the prophet Alma expounded how to plant the right desires in our softened hearts. "If ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart," he taught, "behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves-- It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me" (Alma 32:28).

He continues, "If ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree springing up unto everlasting life. And because of your diligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the fruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst" (Alma 32:41-42).

In the words of Elder Oaks, our "desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions. The desires we act on determine our changing, our achieving, and our becoming" (Desire, April 2011). The desires we plant in our hearts determine the fruit we will eat now and in eternity.

Each of us has many desires competing for our attention each day. Some, such as desires to meet physical needs, may be strong without much effort from us. Others depend more heavily on our nurturing. In all cases, the desires we consider most important are most likely to be transferred into action. This includes overriding compelling physical desires to go camping, to fast or to work through the night; or allowing unrighteous desires to overcome our want of health, honesty or virtue.

Of course, ultimately we decide what desires are allowed to take root in our hearts; but the Lord has promised that we will yield the fruits of what we plant. "A just God," Alma taught, "granteth unto men according to their desire, whether it be unto death or unto life" (Alma 29:4).

From the farmer's point of view it may seem obvious that planting the right seeds in good ground is essential to yielding a profitable crop, but very few inherit such conditions. What do we do when we find patches of rocky or weed-filled ground in our garden? How can a person change what they treasure or have already planted in order to eventually harvest that field of wheat or orchard of delicious fruit?

Around the turn of the 20th Century, Robert Butchart moved from Ontario to Vancouver Island, Canada. He was among the first to develop and sell cement that could be packaged in sacks rather than barrels and Vancouver Island's rich limestone deposits were an integral part of his formula. He constructed his first quarry and cement plant in 1904 and would soon become a primary supplier of cement to rapidly developing cities from San Francisco to Seattle.

Robert's wife, Jennie, was the company's chemist. She was also a homemaker who cared very much for the sweet peas and roses planted at her family home near the quarry. As the limestone deposits were exhausted, Jennie determined to create something of beauty from the enormous pit that mining had left behind. She had tons of topsoil carted in to line the bottom of the abandoned quarry. Then she began to plant.

Jennie Butchart planted terraced flowers, white poplars and Persian plums. As more deposits were exhausted, she planted a Japanese garden and ivy that climbed up the quarry walls. She planted Tibetan blue poppies, California Redwoods, a private garden, a rose garden and two Italian gardens. Robert collected ornamental birds for the gardens and began assigning cement plant staff to help with weeding and maintenance. Little by little the garden grew and with growth came notoriety.

Today, Butchart Gardens is one of the five most renowned gardens in the world. 550 staff care for the 55-acre garden that receives more than a million visitors annually from around the world. Tourists come to tour the gardens, to take in an outdoor symphony concert or fireworks show, to ride the carousel with their kids and to enjoy the wonderful and awe-inspiring natural scenes unique to Butchart Gardens.

We may feel at times like our hearts, in whole or in part, are as hard and empty as an exhausted mining quarry. It may seem impossible to grow anything good or that all or part of us is just destined to be an empty limestone pit. While these feelings may be very real for us and even duly justified, they are tragically limited in their scope. We too often see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today; but our Heavenly Father, Elder Wirthlin has taught, sees us in terms of forever. Like Jennie Butchart, He looks at the empty hole in our hearts, sees the majestic gardens we can grow and then makes it possible for us to start planting.

Inevitably, we will all have to lay down some new soil from time to time. We do this as we decide we want to want to. In Alma's words, "behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words" (Alma 32:27). We break apart the stony ground and prepare it for planting as we set aside our cynicism in order to hear and feel the testimonies of the faithful.

The scriptures speak about this change in terms of what we seek. "When people [in the scriptures] are described as 'having lost their desire for sin,'" Elder Oaks has taught, "it is they, and they only, who deliberately decided to lose those wrong desires by being willing to 'give away all [their] sins' in order to know God." The Lord has taught that we should seek earnestly the best gifts (D&C 46:8) and that we will find what we diligently seek (1 Nephi 10:19) and consistently pursue.

When we have prepared our hearts and aroused our faculties to live the teaching of the gospel the best we can, our desires will sprout and begin to grow. We will begin to see how paying tithing, serving others and living the commandments beautifies our lives. We will defend time dedicated to studying the scriptures, serving others and building family relationships against even the most appealing intrusions and continue to nourish righteous desires through our faith and persistent effort.

"What we insistently desire over time is what we will eventually become and what we will receive in eternity," Elder Maxwell has taught. "Only by educating and training our desires can they become our allies instead of our enemies" (According to the Desire of [Our] Hearts, October 1996). Every day the world will try to influence our desires to buy something, click on something, play something, read or watch something. We must consistently seek to refine, purify and elevate our desires; to train them to be wheat instead of turning to corn.

As we plant more of the word of God in our hearts, we will be increasingly able to see what the completed garden will look like. The vision of what we can become will increase our desire and power to act enormously. Like Jennie Butchart, we will want to plant more gardens and to share what we have found with others. The transformation in our hearts will be as if we had been born again.

Along the way, we will learn a simple formula that will help us receive the blessings we seek from the Lord. The formula is recorded by Enos, among many others, who prayed "with many long strugglings" for his cousins, the Lamanites, "and labored with all diligence" to that end. The Lord recognized Enos' desires and efforts. "I will grant unto thee according to thy desires," the Lord responded to Enos' prayers, "because of thy faith" (Enos 1:11-12).

It is by grace we are saved after all we can do; and it is the faithful combination of our righteous desires and diligent efforts that will yield the blessings of the Lord, including the fruits of repentance, peace and prosperity that will enrich our lives on earth and forever after. "Let us remember," Elder Oaks taught, "that desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions. In addition, it is our actions and our desires that cause us to become something, whether a true friend, a gifted teacher, or one who is qualified for eternal life."