Affliction, Potato Salad and the Stockdale Paradox

Around 60 B.C., after a power-hungry expatriate and his followers caused a fourteen-year war between two ancient American nations, the prophet Helaman wrote:

And thus [we had] wars, and bloodsheds, and famine, and affliction, for the space of many years. And there had been murders, and contentions, and dissensions, and all manner of inquity... But behold, because of the exceedingly great length of the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility (Alma 62:39-41).

Like these ancient people, we are surrounded today by all manner of wars and afflictions. We frequently find ourselves obliged, like the Nephites, to defend, "our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our [spouses], and our children" on social media, in our communities and in our nations (Alma 46:12). We have all undoubtedly also witnessed friends and family members who, in the middle of these dangerous circumstances, have hardened in their hearts and been overcome by bitterness, cynicism and worldly pressures. Perhaps we have also felt an onslaught of adversity and wondered how long we could endure when it seems at times that we are hopelessly outnumbered.

In such times, we can find a great reminder in the simple pleasure of a potato salad. Both of the key ingredients in a good potato salad, potatoes and eggs, are boiled in water for several minutes before they can be added to the salad. Interestingly, while the boiling water softens the potatoes, the eggs, encased in their shells, become hardened in the same circumstance.

During the Vietnam War, Admiral James Stockdale was held as a prisoner for more than seven years. He was tortured more than twenty times and had no way of knowing whether he would survive the war or ever see his family again. He told author Jim Collins:

"This is what I learned from those year in the prison camp, where all those constraints just were oppressive. You must never ever ever confuse, on the one hand, the need for absolute, unwavering faith that you can prevail despite those constraints with, on the other hand, the need for the discipline to begin by confronting the brutal facts, whatever they are."

The Lord has taught that he refines us and chooses us in the furnace of affliction (Isaiah 48:10; 1 Nephi 20:10). Our trials, in other words, are opportunities to become stronger and better people.

This point seems lost on the children of Israel in Moses' day. They endured the mass murder of their children, slavery and all its accompanying ills, and many years wandering in the desert without a home. They also saw many miracles. Yet, many of the children of Israel ultimately chose to harden their hearts, worship the golden calf, turn from Moses amid the poisonous serpents, and ultimately perish in the wilderness rather than allowing their hearts to soften and change. In the literal and figurative heat of affliction, the children of Israel built barriers of cynicism and doubt that would not permit the Lord to refine them and to make them His. In the midst of wars and afflictions, the children of Israel chose to be eggs.

On the other hand, the people of Alma were also pursued by a king for their faith and fled their homes only to become slaves to their enemies. A particularly hateful man became their ruler, persecuting them heavily and killing anyone who so much as said a prayer. When these trials were not immediately removed, it would have been easy for this people to become as cynical and angry as the children of Israel.

Instead, the scriptures say, "they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord" (Mosiah 24:16). Without barriers, they confronted the brutal facts of their reality and let the boiling water of their trials change who they were. As their faith in God grew, they found strength to endure the persecutions heaped upon them until they finally had sufficient faith to be delivered from their bondage (see also 1 Nephi 17:3). In short, the people of Alma chose to be potatoes.

We often cannot control whether we end up in a figurative pot of boiling water; but we do get to choose whether we will put up walls of doubt and cynicism or face the brutal facts without losing faith that we, with the help of the Lord, will ultimately prevail. We get to choose whether we will be eggs or potatoes.

Admiral Stockdale said of his experience in Vietnam: "You have to understand, it was never depressing. Because despite all those circumstances, I never wavered in my absolute faith that not only would I prevail--get out of this--but I would also prevail by turning it into the defining event of my life that would make me a stronger and a better person."

The people of Helaman chose continue an attitude of learning and development-- they chose to be potatoes-- through the difficulties of war and the challenges of prosperity that followed. The scripture records that, "notwithstanding their riches, or their strength, or their prosperity, they were not lifted up in the pride of their eyes; neither were they slow to remember the Lord their God; but they did humble themselves exceedingly before him. Yea, they did remember how great things the Lord had done for them... And they did pray unto the Lord their God continually, insomuch that the Lord did bless them, according to his word, so that they did wax strong and prosper in the land" (Alma 62:49-51).

In the end, whatever our choices have been, eggs and potatoes are both needed to make a good potato salad. Though we'd be hard pressed to find a good potato salad that doesn't first require we take the eggs out of their shells.

Prospering by Degrees

After being captured by the Lamanites, the people of Limhi sought for deliverance. Three times they lashed out in armed conflict against their oppressors; and three times they were soundly defeated and suffered great losses. Finally, they turned to the Lord, but their prayers were answered in a way they perhaps did not expect.

The scriptures record that the people of Limhi "did humble themselves even in the depths of humility; and they did cry mightily to God; yea, even all the day long did they cry unto their God that he would deliver them out of their afflictions" (Mosiah 21:14). Perhaps their prayers were like many of ours, hoping for the Lord to grant a quick and complete relief from the burdens and afflictions they were forced to bear. Perhaps some of them were disappointed or began to waver when they woke up, day after day, with Lamanite guards still surrounding their city.

Although the desired outcome was not immediate, "the Lord did hear their cries, and began to soften the hearts of the Lamanites that they began to ease their burdens... [and] they began to prosper by degrees in the land, and began to raise grain more abundantly, and flocks, and herds, that they did not suffer with hunger" (Mosiah 21:15-16).

Relative prosperity allowed Limhi to send a group of men to find the Nephites. They were unsuccessful in their mission, but on their journey they discovered a record of a people who had become extinct. Thinking they had returned empty handed, the hearts of the people turned to the Lord and began to desire that they could be baptized and serve Him with all of their hearts.

Finally, Ammon and his men found the people of Limhi and helped them devise a plan to escape from their Lamanite captors. Mosiah, the Nephite king and a seer, translated the record and found it to be an insightful account and scripture in its own right. Though their prayers were not answered as quickly or in the way the people of Limhi had perhaps hoped, they were delivered from oppression in their bondage, strengthened in their faith, and then delivered from bondage as different people than they were when they were lashing out with wars against the Lamanites.

While we are promised that the Lord's grace is sufficient for us, sometimes we miss the blessings He grants in our lives because we are looking for grand and spectacular splashes of divine intervention. We want singing angels and the division of the Red Sea. While those things happen, we must learn that they are the exception rather than the rule. The Lord is usually more subtle.

Behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise. And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls" (Alma 37:6-7).

When we feel like lashing out against our oppressors, or that our faithful prayers are not being answered, we will often find that our faithful actions are being prospered by degrees. Maybe our clothes or our car or our employment is lasting longer or providing better than they otherwise should. Sometimes we will feel peace or patience or joy when others are panicked and distraught. Maybe we're learning foundational principles or building our relationship with God in ways that will enrich the rest of our lives.

However the Lord chooses to bless us, we can find confidence in his unbreakable promises:

The Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith. Nevertheless-- whosoever putteth his trust in him the same shall be lifted up at the last day (Mosiah 23:21-22).

"But behold, Zion hath said: The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me-- but he will show that he hath not. For can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee, O house of Israel. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me. They children shall make haste against thy destroyers; and they that made thee waste shall go forth of thee" (1 Nephi 21:14-17).

Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day (Alma 37:37).

It's Okay for Life to be Hard

Let's face it: most of the time, we want life to be easy. We want to sleep in every morning, love our work, have kids (and siblings and parents and in-laws and...) that always get along, be the picture of health despite a few indulgences, have lots of free time and always have enough money for everything. Sometimes falsely imagining that money alone brings a life of ease, we glamorize wealthy actors and athletes who we suppose live such a life and dream about what it must be like. We yearn with Fiddler on the Roof's Tevye: 'If riches are a curse, may God smite me with it! And may I never recover!'

Tevye's prayer concludes with a pleading question to which most of us can relate:

Lord, who made the lion and the lamb,

You decreed I should be what I am;

Would it spoil some vast eternal plan,

If I were a wealthy man?

We know we are on earth to be tested, but must life be so hard sometimes? Would it be so bad to catch a few more breaks?

Elder Oaks answered Tevye's inquiry in a 2003 General Conference address. 'Yes, Tevye, it might,' he said. 'The revelations, for which we are grateful, show that we should even give thanks for our afflictions because they turn our hearts to God and give us opportunities to prepare for what God would have us become... Let us give thanks for what we are and for the circumstances God has given us for our personal journey through mortality.'

The Lord does not allow difficult things in our lives to punish us or make us miserable. Rather, He taught Moroni, 'I give unto men weakness that they may be humble.' If we humble ourselves and have faith in Him, 'then will I make weak things become strong unto them' (Ether 12:27). The Lord has told us we should 'fear not', 'let [our] hearts be comforted', 'rejoice evermore', and 'in everything give thanks' because the hard things in our lives will 'work together for [our] good' (D&C 98:1, 3). He is in control; we can trust Him to make even the bleakest challenge a great blessing in our lives.

One of the bleakest times in Church history was the winter of 1838-39. While the members of the Church were persecuted and being driven from Missouri by the governor's 'extermination order', the Prophet Joseph Smith and five others were held in the cold, damp, cramped and smoke-filled dungeon of Liberty Jail. Joseph called it a 'hell, surrounded with demons... where we  are compelled to hear nothing but blasphemous oaths, and witness a scene of blasphemy, and drunkenness and hypocrisy, and debaucheries of every description'. They were poisoned four times in their food, 'making them so violently ill that for days they alternated between vomiting and a kind of delirium, not really caring whether they lived or died'. Only a little dirty straw insulated them from the cold stone floor while they slept and there were insufficient blankets for what remains the coldest winter in Missouri history. Unable to help their families through persecutions and a forced march to Illinois, the depression became so overwhelming that the prophet pleaded in his prayers, 'O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?'

The Lord responded with some of the most comforting language in scripture: 'My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes... for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.' Again the Lord assured the prophet that the hard things in his life were necessary and not in vain: 'If the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good' (D&C 121-122).

The sacrifices made in Liberty Jail were rewarded with revelations and peace even greater than the suffering. Despite the brutality and vile atmosphere, the prison became a sacred place, a spiritual temple of sorts, where the prophet received revelation for the Church and the faith of the incarcerated men was reinforced an hundredfold as they were protected and sustained by an Almighty God when no other thing prevented them from death. Five months of misery were followed by five years of the peace and prosperity of Nauvoo, a blessing that included many more revelations that may not have come as they did without the prison-temple experience of Liberty Jail.

President John Taylor was among those persecuted and driven from place to place with the Saints. He left his struggling family to serve missions in Europe without purse or scrip, witnessed the murder of the Prophet Joseph in Carthage, walked the plains to the Salt Lake Valley, and spent much of his later life in hiding. He taught, 'We have learned many things through suffering. We call it suffering. I call it a school of experience... I have never looked at these things in any other light than trials for the purpose of purifying the Saints of God that they may be, as the scriptures say, as gold that has been seven times purified by the fire' (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: John Taylor [2001], 203).

The Lord desires to say of us what he has said of John Taylor, Joseph Smith, Abraham, Nephi, Isaiah and others: 'For, behold, I have refined thee, I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction' (1 Nephi 20:10). Can we expect to earn the same reward if we are not willing to pay the same price?

We live in an age of convenience and instant gratification. Few of us struggle to survive with what we can grow in gardens or build with our own hands. Our lives are generally easier than the billions who have come before us over the last six thousand years. Despite our many blessings, each of us must spend some time in our own figurative prison-temples.

Often these prison-temple moments are thrust upon us with a diagnosis, the loss of a job, the death of a friend or family member, or the actions of others. Other difficult things in our lives are brought on by our own choices, particularly as we let appetites overcome discipline or as pride engenders ingratitude and entitlement.

In this month's Ensign, President Monson cautioned us all against the dangers of taking life too easy. 'We forget how the Greeks and Romans prevailed magnificently in a barbaric world', he wrote, 'and how that triumph ended—how a slackness and softness finally overcame them to their ruin. In the end, more than they wanted freedom, they wanted security and a comfortable life; and they lost all—comfort and security and freedom.'

The descendants of the ancient Nephites that saw the risen Christ fell away because they knew only prosperity and so became proud and abandoned the principles that had brought their successes. We who live in the last gospel dispensation and carry the legacy of the pioneers in the world's most prosperous times cannot afford to meet the same fate.

The Lord has given us the difficult things in our lives to help us be humble and avoid the kind of spiritual and temporal destruction that met the Nephites. Our experiences will help us be disciplined and stand firm for truth and freedom. Our task is not to change the difficulty of our lives, but to have faith in the guidance we receive from God and gratitude for the circumstances God has given us for our personal journey through mortality.

The Lord to whom Tevye prayed loves each of us and wants us to become like Him. The experiences we have are gifts that give us the best possible opportunity of developing those traits that will make us happy and allow us to return to our Heavenly Parents. Therefore the Lord admonishes:

Verily I say unto you my friends, fear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks; Waiting patiently on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth, and are recorded with this seal and testament--the Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted. Therefore, he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name's glory, saith the Lord (D&C 98:1-3).