Sunday, April 30, 2017

Return with Honor

When I was in high school, I often went over to my friend Devon's house. We were there most days for lunch, after school and whenever else we were looking for something to do. Above the front door in his house was a sign that read, "Return with Honor."

It was a simple sign with a simple message: don't screw up. Don't go places you shouldn't go, do things you shouldn't do or be someone you shouldn't be. I thought it was just another way of reminding their family, and all others that have used the slogan, to be good.

There is value in reminding ourselves to be good. That is, theoretically at least, why most LDS 8-year-olds don fresh CTR rings, at least for a few weeks, as they try to remember to Choose The Right. In an oversimplified way, we wear temple garments and attend church every week and put pictures of Christ in our homes so we can remember the promises we have made with God to be good.

Returning with honor is much more than that, however. Many of us have known people who were "good" and did what they were "supposed" to do but were without honor. They are the missionaries who served but didn't work; the temple-married couple who make others uncomfortable with how unkind they are to each other; and the church attendee who rejects all invitations to serve in a calling. These individuals, and others like them, go through the motions but seldom garner much esteem or respect because of the hollow selfishness of their efforts.

Honor is aligned with patience, kindness, contentment, joy for others, sacrifice, humility, modesty, self-discipline, hard work, virtue, hope, faith and love. We honor those who give their lives for our freedom, who give years of study and research to develop vaccines or send people to the moon, who teach us what they know, and who inspire us to be better. There is no honor in selfishness; but that doesn't mean that we don't have a role.

To understand how we can return with honor, we first must recognize that the subject of this sentence is implied. It is you. You are being admonished to return [yourself] with honor. How do you get that honor?

The next part of the statement requires the acknowledgement that to return, we first need to go. There are dozens of scriptural decrees to go a step or two into uncertainty, to go without sin, to go after what was lost, to go show yourself to the priest, to go on the Lord's errand, or go teach the gospel. In order to return, we first have to get up and go.

Finally, the added value to this phrase comes with a deeper understanding of honor. There are many sources of honor. We may receive worldly honors from universities, news media, community service groups or professional organizations. We can receive honors from our peers, our twitter followers or our bosses. Some of these can be good, but they cannot be what we treasure in our hearts. Like Captain Moroni, we are to, "seek not for honor of the world, but for the glory of [our] God, and the freedom and welfare of [our] country" (Alma 60:36).

In one of his recent conference addresses, President Uchtdorf shared an experience he had as a new General Authority. One day he was driving with President Faust to a stake conference. Among the important principles they discussed, Elder Faust explained how gracious the members of the Church are to General Authorities. He said, "They will treat you very kindly. They will say nice things about you." Then with a chuckle he said, "Dieter, be thankful for this. But don't you ever inhale it" (Pride and the Priesthood, October 2010).

While we can be grateful for our health, wealth, possessions, or positions, as President Uchtdorf went on to explain, when we begin to inhale our own importance or power or reputation they will begin to corrupt the honor we think we have. In his pre-mortal rebellion against God, Lucifer, the Son of the Morning and a person of some influence, demanded, "Give me thine honor, which is my power" (D&C 29:36).

Honor, like love or respect, cannot be demanded or taken upon ourselves. None of us can award ourselves a Nobel Peace Prize or an honorary doctorate degree from a prestigious university. Though we may inspire fear, we cannot control another's admiration. We are even less able to require the respect and esteem of a perfect being who knows all things and has all power.

Yet, God is anxious to give us honor. He promises, "if ye are faithful ye shall be laden with many sheaves, and crowned with honor, and glory, and immortality, and eternal life" (D&C 75:5). "For thus saith the Lord--I, the Lord, am merciful and gracious unto those who fear me, and delight to honor those who serve me in righteousness and in truth unto the end" (D&C 76:5).

Honor is the highest esteem or respect we can receive from another person. We cannot take it for ourselves, but we can give it and are commanded to honor those who honor God, including our parents, our spouses, and the laws of the land where we live. We are also commanded to honor the Lord.

My friend's mom could have put up a sign that said, "Be Good". Instead she put up a sign admonishing her family to act in such a way that others would willingly give their respect and esteem. She wanted her family to be anxiously engaged in good causes, to know what it was to sacrifice a meal so another could eat, to experience the reward of working hard to bless someone else's life, and to love so deeply that life's ambitions could be replaced by a desire to make others happy. Most of all, her sign directed her family to be the kind of people that an all-knowing, all-powerful God would delight to have on his side and to recognize for his or her faithfulness. She wanted them to not only be good, but to be courageous, fiercely righteous and persisting in patient faithfulness in the course God placed before them.

That was too long of a sign to fit over the door, so she summed it up: Return with Honor. I wonder if our heavenly mother has one just like it.

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