Matters of Personal Preference

Much of what we do as followers of Christ is governed by his commandments. There were 613 commandments in the Law of Moses; and though that law has been fulfilled, the faithful remain busy loving their neighbors, dressing modestly, paying tithes, going to church, praying always and striving to do all the Lord has asked us to do for the happiness and salvation of his family and ours. None of us is perfect (Romans 3:23), but we usually try not to judge others when they sin (that's also a commandment) and hope for the same mercy when we fall short ourselves.

But what happens when the things we think others are doing wrong aren't addressed by a specific commandment? For example, what about those otherwise faithful saints who vote for the other political party? What about those who are vegetarian or stock up on guns or have too big of a house or shop at stores where we wouldn't be caught dead? Or those who have too many kids or too few kids or whose kids are too rowdy or too well behaved or too spoiled or too shy? Do we ever talk negatively about others or treat them differently because they have different preferences than we do?

That was the case in the ancient Roman empire when Paul sent his epistle around 55 A.D. Although Christ had fulfilled the law of Moses, some of the saints in the early church continued to follow its dietary restrictions and celebrate events like the Passover that were no longer necessary under the law of the gospel. Each school of thought in the matter, both those who ate meat and those who continued to refrain, saw itself as better or more faithful than those who thought differently.

Paul taught these saints, "Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which eateth not judge him that eateth: for God hath received him" (Romans 14:3). In other words, where personal preferences are concerned, be that how we teach our children or who we vote for president, we should be accepting of others and respect the free exercise of their right to choose differently than we do.

Paul continues and takes it a step farther: "Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brother's way... But if thy brother be grieved with thy meat, thou walkest not charitably if thou eatest. Therefore, destroy not him with thy meat, for whom Christ died" (Romans 14:13, 15).

It was perfectly fine for Roman Christians to eat meat, but it was better for them to abstain from meat for a meal with someone who may have been offended than to risk driving that person away from the gospel altogether. Taking offense is a choice, but so are actions that we know may cause others to stumble or doubt. In such cases, "it is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor anything whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak" (Romans 14:21).

In short, Paul admonished the saints to, "follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another" (Romans 14:19). This doesn't mean we have to go around walking on eggshells, and some of the things that may offend others may not be things we're willing or even able to change, but where personal preferences are concerned we should also be considerate of how our choices affect others.

What we do to others, we do to God (Matthew 25:40). If we will let love conquer pride and be seekers of peace and edification for all, the Lord has promised that whatever adversity we are facing will pass; contention will fade because of the love of God in our hearts; and the Lord who gave us the commandments will mercifully approve and accept us as his own (see Elder Uchtdorf, In Praise of Those Who Save, April 2016; and Romans 14:18).