Matters of Personal Preference

Much of what we do as followers of Christ is governed by his commandments. There were 613 commandments in the Law of Moses; and though that law has been fulfilled, the faithful remain busy loving their neighbors, dressing modestly, paying tithes, going to church, praying always and striving to do all the Lord has asked us to do for the happiness and salvation of his family and ours. None of us is perfect (Romans 3:23), but we usually try not to judge others when they sin (that's also a commandment) and hope for the same mercy when we fall short ourselves.

But what happens when the things we think others are doing wrong aren't addressed by a specific commandment? For example, what about those otherwise faithful saints who vote for the other political party? What about those who are vegetarian or stock up on guns or have too big of a house or shop at stores where we wouldn't be caught dead? Or those who have too many kids or too few kids or whose kids are too rowdy or too well behaved or too spoiled or too shy? Do we ever talk negatively about others or treat them differently because they have different preferences than we do?

That was the case in the ancient Roman empire when Paul sent his epistle around 55 A.D. Although Christ had fulfilled the law of Moses, some of the saints in the early church continued to follow its dietary restrictions and celebrate events like the Passover that were no longer necessary under the law of the gospel. Each school of thought in the matter, both those who ate meat and those who continued to refrain, saw itself as better or more faithful than those who thought differently.

Paul taught these saints, "Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which eateth not judge him that eateth: for God hath received him" (Romans 14:3). In other words, where personal preferences are concerned, be that how we teach our children or who we vote for president, we should be accepting of others and respect the free exercise of their right to choose differently than we do.

Paul continues and takes it a step farther: "Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brother's way... But if thy brother be grieved with thy meat, thou walkest not charitably if thou eatest. Therefore, destroy not him with thy meat, for whom Christ died" (Romans 14:13, 15).

It was perfectly fine for Roman Christians to eat meat, but it was better for them to abstain from meat for a meal with someone who may have been offended than to risk driving that person away from the gospel altogether. Taking offense is a choice, but so are actions that we know may cause others to stumble or doubt. In such cases, "it is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor anything whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak" (Romans 14:21).

In short, Paul admonished the saints to, "follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another" (Romans 14:19). This doesn't mean we have to go around walking on eggshells, and some of the things that may offend others may not be things we're willing or even able to change, but where personal preferences are concerned we should also be considerate of how our choices affect others.

What we do to others, we do to God (Matthew 25:40). If we will let love conquer pride and be seekers of peace and edification for all, the Lord has promised that whatever adversity we are facing will pass; contention will fade because of the love of God in our hearts; and the Lord who gave us the commandments will mercifully approve and accept us as his own (see Elder Uchtdorf, In Praise of Those Who Save, April 2016; and Romans 14:18).

If Thine Eye Offend Thee

In his epic final sermon to his people in ancient America, King Benjamin warned:

I cannot tell you all the things whereby ye may commit sin; for there are divers ways and means, even so many that I cannot number them. But this much I can tell you, that if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish. And now, O man, remember and perish not (Mosiah 4:29-30).

It is easier than ever today to walk, click or even glance our way into situations that tempt us to sin in one way or another. In response, the Lord has taught that we must be proactive in our efforts to prevent or avoid those influences that would lead us into temptation. If thy hand or foot offend thee, he taught, "cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into [eternal] life maimed, than having two hands [or feet] to go into hell" (Mark 9:43, 45). Likewise, "if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire" (Mark 9:47).

Our feet, hands or eyes can offend or betray us if they cause us to stumble, to be lead astray, to sin or to abandon our faith. Of course, Christ was not advocating a policy of amputating first and asking questions later. Rather, he understood that amputation is a procedure reserved for body parts that have become seriously damaged, infected or diseased and could betray the best interests of the body by causing further harm or even death if not removed.

Further insight comes through the Joseph Smith translation of these verses. That text states:

If thy hand offend thee, cut it off; or if thy brother offend thee and confess not and forsake not, he shall be cut off... And again, if thy foot offend thee, cut it off; for he that is thy standard, by whom thou walkest, if he become a transgressor, he shall be cut off... And if thine eye which seeth for thee, him that is appointed to watch over thee to show thee light, become a transgressor and offend thee, pluck him out (JST Mark 9:40, 42, 46).

Each of us must evaluate the people and principles that guide our lives. Do we have a friend or family member that consistently tries to get us to do or accept things we know are contrary to God's commandments? Do we subscribe to a cause or behaviors or a school of thought that may ultimately lead us away from our faith in Christ? Do the leaders we choose to support and follow illuminate the path that will lead us back to our Heavenly Father or do they use illusion to lure us in some other direction?

"It follows," Elder Walter F. Gonzalez has taught, "that such cutting off refers not only to friends but to every bad influence, such as inappropriate television shows, Internet sites, movies, literature, games, or music. Engraving in our souls this principle will help us to resist the temptation to yield to any bad influence ("Today is the Time," Ensign, Nov. 2007, 55).

The Lord's teaching leaves no room for exceptions. He does not say to sever relationships unless it would be awkward or to stop following toxic leaders unless the better leaders don't seem to be popular. As any good physician would, he says clearly and decisively that we should terminate any influence in our lives that may betray the welfare of our souls.

There are diverse ways and means employed today to lead the faithful away from the strength and protection of their faith in the Good Shepherd, but each of us is admonished to be proactive in our efforts to root out spiritual infection and evil influences by the echoes of King Benjamin's words:

If ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish. And now, O man, remember and perish not (Mosiah 4:29-30).

Remember: Amputate those infections influences and perish not.