The Divine Nature and Destiny of Women

Given as a Sacrament Meeting talk on May 9, 2021 (Mother's Day). Much of the text was taken, and is therefore similar, to this post from November 11, 2012. Edits made to remove local references.

Similitude by Walter Rane

The Family: A Proclamation to the World teaches that “each [of us are] a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is a characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” It is our opportunity to celebrate righteous womanhood and motherhood today, beginning with a mother we all share.

Our greatest of grandmothers, Eve, was the first mortal woman to walk upon the earth. Through the annuls of time, Eve has often been portrayed as gullible and weak, however beautiful, and valuable primarily for bearing children and serving her husband. In modern times, many relegate Eve to the back shelf as a fictional character in an ancient children’s fable. For more than a thousand years, Eve, the mother of us all, has been portrayed in art, humor and dogma as little more than the First Stereotype.

Modern prophets give us a different picture of the Mother of All Living. Listen to their words:

There is no language that can do credit to our glorious mother, Eve. Eve--a daughter of God, one of the spirit offspring of the Almighty Elohim--was among the noble and great in [the premortal] existence. She ranked in spiritual statue, in faith and devotion, in conformity to eternal law with Michael (Bruce R. McConkie. "Eve and the Fall". Woman. Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1979. p. 69).

Among the great and mighty ones who were assembled in this vast congregation of the righteous were Father Adam... and our glorious Mother Eve, with many of her faithful daughters who had lived through the ages (Joseph F. Smith, D&C 138:38-39).

We and all mankind are forever blessed because of Eve's great courage and wisdom. By partaking of the fruit first, she did what needed to be done. Adam was wise enough to do likewise (Russell M. Nelson, General Conference, October 1993).

It was Eve who first transgressed the limits of Eden in order to initiate the conditions of mortality. Her act, whatever its nature, was formally a transgression but eternally a glorious necessity to open the doorway toward eternal life. Adam showed his wisdom by doing the same...

Some Christians condemn Eve for her act, concluding that she and her daughters are somehow flawed by it... Informed by revelation, we celebrate Eve's act and honor her wisdom and courage in the great episode called the fall (Dallin H. Oaks, General Conference, October 1993).

Eve is, "honored by Latter-day Saints as one of the most important, righteous, and heroic of all the human family" (Encyclopedia of Mormonism. Macmillan Publishing Company, 1992. 2:475.). Zebedee Coltrin related this insightful vision he shared with Oliver Cowdery and Joseph Smith, the prophet:

The heavens gradually opened and they saw a golden throne, on a circular foundation, something like a lighthouse, and on the throne were two aged personages, having white hair, and clothed in white garments. They were the two most beautiful and perfect specimens of mankind he ever saw. Joseph said, 'They are our first parents,' Adam and Eve ("The Words of Joseph Smith." Provo: Brigham Young University. vol. 6.).

That Eve would be exalted to a throne as the lucky consequence of a clumsy mistake or a weak moment is inconsistent with the gospel of exaltation. That gospel requires each of us to "work out our salvation" by developing great faith in Christ, choosing to change our behavior each day to better follow Him, make and keep inspired covenants and continually keep the commandments of God throughout our lives (see Phillippians 2:12; Alma 34:37; and Mormon 9:27). Eve did not get a pass for going first; that would not be just. Rather, modern prophets teach that Eve was chosen, with Adam, to set the course, to lead the way, to make the Lord’s plan of happiness possible, and to provide an example of faithfulness for the whole human race.

Popular culture is wrong about Eve and, by extension, it is wrong about women in general. Some of that error comes from a poor understanding of the Creation and the Fall. We can learn a great deal from a careful study of these events. I will make only a single point about each event today.

First, some point to the verses in Genesis that say Eve was created from Adam's rib to be an 'help meet' for him. They interpret this verse to suggest that God created women to help or serve the interests of men. Understanding that President Kimball taught the reference to Adam's rib is, "of course, figurative" (Spencer W. Kimball. Blessings and Responsibilities. Ensign. March 1976, p. 71), we can focus our attention on what it means to be an help meet.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines a 'help meet' as being, 'even with or equal to'. Sister Beverly Campbell has written that the Hebrew scripture uses the phrase ‘help meet’ to mean an equal saving power of some majesty. President Benson confirmed, 'In the beginning, God placed a woman in a companionship role with [Adam]... She was to act in partnership with him' (To the Elect Women of the Kingdom of God. Woman. Salt Lake City: Deseret Book. 1979. p. 69.).

Elder Bruce C. Hafen explained further, “Genesis 3:16 states that Adam is to 'rule over' Eve, but... over in 'rule over' uses the Hebrew bet, which means ruling with, not ruling over... The concept of interdependent equal partners is well grounded in the doctrine of the restored gospel” (Crossing Thresholds and Becoming Equal Partners. Ensign, August 2007. pp. 24-29.).

So we read in Moses chapter two that the Lord blessed both Adam and Eve and commanded them together to, “be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth” (Moses 2:28).

The truth that Eve was and is Adam's equal-- in intelligence, in spirituality, and in potential-- adds clarity to the account of the Fall. Gospel scholar Hugh Nibley explained that, "[Eve took] the initiative, pursuing the search for ever greater light and knowledge while Adam cautiously [held] back... It is she who perceives and points out to Adam that they have done the right thing after all" (Patriarchy and Matriarchy. Old Testament and Related Studies. Salt Lake City: Deseret Book. 1986. p. 92).

Eve acted in courage and in faith to complete her mission on earth. This could only have happened as it did if Eve were both capable and involved in the process all along. She wasn’t waiting for Adam’s permission or direction. She was united with him in their purpose and intent to follow the commandments, but then acted autonomously and selflessly to benefit the whole of the human family. God blessed Eve for her righteousness and courage.

A true understanding of the Creation and the Fall justify reverence, honor, and respect, rather than ridicule, for our mother, Eve. Eve had the faith to act, to trade comfort for progress, to stay focused on the Lord’s plan and to lead the way through uncertainty. Eve outwitted Satan to obtain divine blessings for her posterity that he sought for only himself. Each of us can be grateful this Mother’s Day for the achievements and example of our first mother, Eve.

Our Savior, Jesus Christ, exemplified the way we should honor the daughters of Eve in our lives today and every day. Christ’s use of the term ‘woman,’ consistent with Jewish culture at the time, was 'highly respectful and affectionate', implying ‘the greatest respect to the person spoken to', and intending 'no severity nor disrespect'.

Like Eve, Jesus Christ’s mother, Mary, was a woman of great courage. As an unmarried teenager, an angel appeared to her to declare that she would be pregnant with the son of God. Even an immaculate pregnancy could have caused her to be completely cast out of her society. She did not know how her fiancé would react or maybe even how she would try to explain it to him. And how does one raise as a child the Lord whom you revere as a God?

Mary asked the angel how it would be so and then, when she understood what she was being asked to do, Mary replied humbly, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word” (Luke 1:38). Though Joseph would marry her, Jewish tradition holds that Joseph died in an industrial accident when Christ was about thirteen years old and Mary was left to raise her children on her own.

The Lord’s respect for his mother is clear. At a wedding in Cana, when she is concerned about running out of wine, Christ replies, “Woman, what wilt thou have me to do for thee? That I will do; for mine hour is not yet come” (JST John 2:4). On the cross at calvary, suffering pain beyond our capacity to conceive, he spoke tenderly to his mother, saying, “Woman! Behold thy son!” and directed his disciples to continue to care for her.

Christ spoke with similar respect to all of the women he encountered. To the woman taken in adultery, he inquired with respect, “Woman, where are those thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee?... Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more” (John 8:11-12). To a woman of Canaan—a Gentile to whom he was not sent—who was seeking relief for a daughter “grievously vexed with a devil,” the Lord said, “O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt. And her daughter was made whole from that very hour” (Matthew 15:28).

When his disciples saw the empty tomb and left astonished, Mary Magdalene lingered and wept. Christ appeared to her first, saying, “Woman, why weepest thou?” She was not immediately consoled, but Christ comforted her and revealed his identity to her exceeding joy.

Brothers and Sisters, is this how we treat the women in our lives? Brethren, do you counsel with your wives as your equals, working toward unanimous decisions, or do you suppose you are somehow endowed with better judgement or a divine right to the final say? Do you consume entertainment that portrays women as daughters of Eve, or do you spend your time with shallower depictions of women as objects or less capable than men? How do your sisters, including your female coworkers and other women you encounter, know of your respect for them? You know the right answers to these questions—and if you need to repent, you need to do it now.

Sisters, are you kind to one another? Do you honor the heritage of womanhood within you with your words and actions? Do you selflessly seek the welfare of others and the will of the Lord, as Eve and Mary did, or do you suppose you can lift yourself while tearing others down?

Relief Society President Jean Bingham taught last month that “studies have shown that the number one reason people leave religion is that they feel judged or unwelcome. That is cited more often than doctrinal disagreement or lack of belief… That situation can be practically eliminated if we really open our arms and hearts to everyone.”

I’m sure each of you can think of times when you or someone close to you has been offended by someone at church. It does not matter if you think the offense is justified. The church should be a safe space where everyone can feel the love of God and of each other. Withhold from criticizing each other’s personal decisions. Focus on being a light for each other, not a judge of each other.

Every woman on this earth is a beloved daughter of heavenly parents. As such, each of you sisters have a divine nature and destiny. Your gender is not a biological coincidence and it is not a mistake. It is an essential characteristic of your individual premortal, mortal and eternal identity and purpose. In the words of Elder Rasband, “you have come [to earth] just at this time to valiantly build up the kingdom of God on the earth.” This is the errand of angels that you have been given.

You are where you are because there are people of every age who need you to reach out to them and help them in ways that only you can; and there are people here who can help you in ways you may not even know you need. Each of us will experience more joy and satisfaction in our lives as we strive to build our brothers and sisters around us.

Now, before I conclude, I know that some of us, for various reasons, may not feel like celebrating Mother’s Day. That is okay. The Lord is mindful of you and those things that are on your hearts today. 

I’d also like to echo several messages from the most recent BYU women’s conference. In doing so, I take inspiration from Sister Wendy Nelson, Sister Sharon Eubank, Sister Sheri Dew, Elder Ronald Rasband, and others who spoke at that conference. I hope some of what they have said will begin to address the things that may be on your mind and heart. Listen to their words:

- Each person is born to do three basic things. First, choose to love God and others. Second, come to know the Savior by repenting and keeping the commandments. Third, establish family relationships on both sides of the veil. Those things may happen in a different order or timing than we expect or desire, but if you’re doing any of those things, you’re fulfilling the thing you were born to do.

- Waiting faithfully upon the Lord for His blessings is “a holy position” and “doesn’t deserve pity.” While waiting, “you are in the company of some of the best souls on Earth.”

- Two similarly faithful women can receive different responses to the same basic questions. One sister may be inspired to attend medical school, for example, while another may feel she should forgo a scholarship and begin a family. What is right for one woman may not be right for another.

- Some of you may have children who are no longer active in the Church. Rather than grieving the children you may feel you have lost, rejoice in the children that you have. Pay attention to the things you enjoy about them and in their good values. Be positive with them and appreciate who they are. It will help your relationship become sweet again.

- Women’s voices and perspectives are present in a variety of Church councils and committees and they are equally important in ward and stake councils.

- Give yourself some grace. A lack of spiritual feeling, particularly if we are struggling with depression or anxiety, isn’t an indication of unworthiness. Sometimes we just need to hold on with our head what we don’t feel in the moment in our heart. We don’t need to compare ourselves today to the way we were on our best days.

In conclusion, Elder Ballard has affirmed, “Sisters, we, your brethren, cannot do what you were divinely designated to do from before the foundation of the world. We may try, but we cannot ever hope to replicate your unique gifts. There is nothing in this world as personal, as nurturing, or as life changing as the influence of a righteous woman.”

In this light, we begin to see, as Elder Holland has commented, that “in the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, a woman... occupies a majesty all her own in the divine design of the Creator.” That Creator, Jesus Christ, respected and reverenced the women in his life. He saw their spiritual vitality. He knew perfectly of the sacrifices they have made to respond to the will of God and keep His plan moving forward. He saw their divine and infinite potential, and he sees yours.

No wonder it is the women's organization of the Church that so often leads the way in reaching out to friends and neighbors. No wonder the Lord designed the family to pair priesthood and womanhood as evenly yoked saving powers in the lives of God's spirit offspring. Though this day can be difficult for some, it is this glorious heritage we all share that we honor and celebrate each Mother’s Day.

I pray, with Elder Ballard, that God will continually bless the women of the Church, and of our ward, to find joy and happiness in their sacred roles as daughters of God. The leaders of the Church, including Jesus Christ, who is at the head of this Church, believe in you. They are and I am counting on your goodness and your strength, your propensity for virtue and valor, your kindness and courage, your strength and resilience. We believe in your mission as women of God.

Matters of Personal Preference

Much of what we do as followers of Christ is governed by his commandments. There were 613 commandments in the Law of Moses; and though that law has been fulfilled, the faithful remain busy loving their neighbors, dressing modestly, paying tithes, going to church, praying always and striving to do all the Lord has asked us to do for the happiness and salvation of his family and ours. None of us is perfect (Romans 3:23), but we usually try not to judge others when they sin (that's also a commandment) and hope for the same mercy when we fall short ourselves.

But what happens when the things we think others are doing wrong aren't addressed by a specific commandment? For example, what about those otherwise faithful saints who vote for the other political party? What about those who are vegetarian or stock up on guns or have too big of a house or shop at stores where we wouldn't be caught dead? Or those who have too many kids or too few kids or whose kids are too rowdy or too well behaved or too spoiled or too shy? Do we ever talk negatively about others or treat them differently because they have different preferences than we do?

That was the case in the ancient Roman empire when Paul sent his epistle around 55 A.D. Although Christ had fulfilled the law of Moses, some of the saints in the early church continued to follow its dietary restrictions and celebrate events like the Passover that were no longer necessary under the law of the gospel. Each school of thought in the matter, both those who ate meat and those who continued to refrain, saw itself as better or more faithful than those who thought differently.

Paul taught these saints, "Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which eateth not judge him that eateth: for God hath received him" (Romans 14:3). In other words, where personal preferences are concerned, be that how we teach our children or who we vote for president, we should be accepting of others and respect the free exercise of their right to choose differently than we do.

Paul continues and takes it a step farther: "Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brother's way... But if thy brother be grieved with thy meat, thou walkest not charitably if thou eatest. Therefore, destroy not him with thy meat, for whom Christ died" (Romans 14:13, 15).

It was perfectly fine for Roman Christians to eat meat, but it was better for them to abstain from meat for a meal with someone who may have been offended than to risk driving that person away from the gospel altogether. Taking offense is a choice, but so are actions that we know may cause others to stumble or doubt. In such cases, "it is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor anything whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak" (Romans 14:21).

In short, Paul admonished the saints to, "follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another" (Romans 14:19). This doesn't mean we have to go around walking on eggshells, and some of the things that may offend others may not be things we're willing or even able to change, but where personal preferences are concerned we should also be considerate of how our choices affect others.

What we do to others, we do to God (Matthew 25:40). If we will let love conquer pride and be seekers of peace and edification for all, the Lord has promised that whatever adversity we are facing will pass; contention will fade because of the love of God in our hearts; and the Lord who gave us the commandments will mercifully approve and accept us as his own (see Elder Uchtdorf, In Praise of Those Who Save, April 2016; and Romans 14:18).

Christlike Leadership

This semester I have the opportunity to co-teach a class on leadership at one of America's great universities. The class spends most of the time focusing on the works of James Kouzes and Barry Posner, who have published several bestselling books on leadership over the last 25 years.

As I've studied the course materials and interacted with the students in the class, my thoughts turn frequently  to the Lord of Lords and King of Kings. Jesus Christ is much more than a great philosopher. He is the son of God, the source of light and goodness, and the leader of the cause of righteousness. He stands at the head of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Though the vocabulary may be different in religious versus business or government settings, becoming a great leader requires us to become more like Him.

Kouzes and Posner wrote in their bestseller, The Leadership Challenge, that the first of five attributes all great leaders have is that they 'model the way'. Christ is called 'the Great Exemplar' because his life was the perfect example of what our lives should be (see 1 Nephi 31:9). Though powerful and of noble heritage, he lived a humble life of service to others. Peter taught the ancient church:

For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow in his steps: Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously: Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye are healed. For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls (1 Peter 2:21-25).

The second attribute Kouzes and Posner identify is to 'inspire a shared vision'. Christ taught that the faithful would have a 'crown of immortality, and eternal life in the mansions' of heaven (D&C 81:9). Millions of Christians have taken hold of that vision, unconfirmed by science, and press forward with faith and hope to their common goal.

Attribute number three is to 'challenge the process'. Christ did what was right regardless of tradition or the expectations of those around him. As a twelve year old, he stayed at the temple when his family headed for home because it was where he needed to be. To the surprise of the John the Baptist, Christ was baptized to fulfill all righteousness.

Christ challenged his disciples to have the faith to walk on water, to become great through service to the least, to allow the little children and strive to be more like them, and to believe in the resurrection. He challenged the uninspired laws instituted by the scribes and pharisees and invited them to 'cast the first stone'.

Fourth, great leaders enable others to act. The atonement of Christ gives each of us access to his grace, which the scripture guide defines as the, 'enabling power from God that allows men and women to obtain blessings in this life and to gain eternal life and exaltation'.  He taught that 'all things are possible unto him that believeth' (Mark 9:23).

Finally, Kouzes and Posner round out their list with the note that great leaders encourage the heart. Anyone who has turned to Christ with their burdens has felt the hope and joy of their relief. Christ asks us to 'fear not' but be believing. He comforts the sincere heart with the knowledge that all our trials will be 'but a small moment' and that if we endure well, we will triumph (D&C 121:8).

There are many examples from the life of Christ that show he was a great leader by the standards set by experts among men like Kouzes and Posner. The challenge for us as leaders-- that is, as parents, business managers, volunteer coordinators, teachers, scout or activity day leaders, examples to our neighbors, etc.-- is to live up to the standards set by the example of Christ.

Jesus Christ loves all people. He was never patronizing or hypocritical; he lifted others' burdens and put into action all that he taught. His leadership inspired those around him to rise to new levels and achieve things they had previously never believed were possible.

Do our children feel as uplifted in the way we treat them? Do we motivate our employees through trust and love? Do we respect the agency of others? Do we validate the need our friends and family have to feel valued and important? Do we love others?

Long before there was a bestseller, Christ taught each of us how to lead in this oft-quoted passage:

No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile-- Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou has reproved, lest he esteem the to be his enemy; That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.

Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and... the Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion (D&C 121:41-46).

Though speaking directly to priesthood leaders, the counsel here is valid for leaders in every setting. As our children know that our love for them is stronger than the cords of death; as those in our stewardship at work and at church see our patience and understanding; as we serve our friends and neighbors with charity and love unfeigned-- then we will be leading as Christ would lead.

As we seek to be better leaders in our homes, our workplaces and our communities, we need only to strive to walk in the footsteps of our Savior, Jesus Christ. He is more than a great leader. He is the source of truth, our great Exemplar, and our friend.To be a better leader-- a better parent, disciple, manager or civil servant-- we need only to become more like Him.

As I Have Loved You

The scriptures tell us that 'God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son' (John 3:16). This divine gift made possible the resurrection of mankind and the salvation of the faithful. We are taught by the Savior that we may 'come unto him' and be perfected, allowing us to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father, if we will exercise faith, repent, be baptized by immersion for the remission of sins, receive the gift of the Holy Ghost and endure to the end.

As a part of our baptismal covenant we make with God, we promise to be willing to keep his commandments. It was this topic that brought an inquiring lawyer to Christ in Matthew 22. 'Master,' he asked, 'which is the great commandment in the law?'

Jesus answered, 'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets' (Matthew 22:36-40).

Love of God is a natural result of obedience and sincere seeking. Christ taught, 'If ye love me, keep my commandments' (John 14:15) . As we pray and study the scriptures our desires change, our behaviors follow, and we learn to love God and the fruits of obedience.

Our obligation to our fellow man can sometimes seem much more complicated, despite being extremely well outlined in scripture. Consider this familiar passage from the Sermon on the Mount:

Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.

Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;  That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven (Matthew 5:38-45).

Other scriptures invite us to 'forgive men their trespasses', 'judge not' and treat others how we would like to be treated. Christ explained our obligation to our fellow man this way:

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another (John 13:34-35).

Though we understand the principle generally, we all fail from time to time in our efforts to love one another as broadly and as genuinely as the Lord requires of us. Each of us behaves at times as though loving others is just one of the ways we should treat others instead of the only way.

The truth is that God has never given us permission to get angry at a bad driver, make fun of another person's mistake or roll our eyes at the lady holding up the grocery store line with a big stack of coupons. We are not called to keep order in the universe through micromanaging, controlling or intimidating others to do what we want. Nor is the Lord pleased when we are harsh, critical, sarcastic, patronizing, scolding or negative in any way to our brothers and sisters with whom we share our time on earth.

Even the best intentions cannot justify these behaviors. Elder H. Burke Peterson once explained it this way, referring to criticism specifically:

I personally have a hard time with people who say they believe in constructive criticism. My experience does not lead me to believe there is such a thing. My point of view is that criticism has a connotation that does not come from above. I think it is important to note that correction is different from criticism. The Lord discussed correction in his revelation to the Prophet Joseph Smith. He emphasized that any corrections are to be performed when 'moved upon by the Holy Ghost.' If we are inspired to chastise, however, the Lord insists that there be 'an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy.'

Criticism is more judgment-oriented than correction, and most of us do not have sufficient knowledge to be critical of others--especially of a spouse and children who are still growing and developing as we are ('Eternal Companions:Advice from LDS Counselors and Educators on Building a Forever Marriage', 4).

So the Lord warns us that it is the 'nature and disposition of almost all men', and it's not a stretch to include many women here also, to 'exercise unrighteous dominion' at every opportunity. That reminder of our natural shortcomings is followed by this profound doctrine referenced by Elder Peterson:

No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile-- Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy (D&C 121:39-43).

These verses teach us again that we we should treat those around us with kindness, gentleness, meekness and sincerity-- or, in other words, with love. This is the second great commandment behind loving God.

Loving others doesn't mean the world will seem like springtime all the time. Sometimes love means correcting or teaching those for whom we have stewardship just as God chastises those whom he loves. Sometimes love means we will ache as we allow our loved ones use their agency, especially when mistakes seem to us like they could have been avoided or prevented.

Sometimes our loved ones may not appreciate how we show our love or may feel that we cannot love them without also accepting their wrong or sinful behaviors. We don't ever have to compromise gospel standards to have love for those who may not share the same ideals-- it is God who gives us love, after all. If we have genuine love for others, we will love them as Christ loves us. We will be patient and kind. We will disagree and even correct, where appropriate, without becoming hostile.

What matters in the end is whether we have been striving to keep the commandments to love God and love our fellow man. As we dedicate our hearts, minds and strength to this effort, let us consider how well we love those around us. Can our spouse feel our love by the way we treat them? Do we allow love to guide our parenting instead of our own preferences, convenience and comfort? Do our coworkers enjoy being around us because of the way they are treated? Are those we do not yet know pleased to meet us because of the way we make them feel?

God gave his Only Begotten because he loves us. His gift makes it possible to inherit all that he has. He asks in return that we strive to be like him-- to love others as he loves them, not as only one way we can treat them but as the only way. As we obey the command to love our fellow man, we will also find that our love of God will increase and we will become true disciples.

By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.