Why Bad Things Happen to Good People

One of the axioms of life is that it isn't fair. Sometimes the most generous, good people seem to have the most struggles and people we consider lazy, criminal or no-good seem to have it easy. Life's not fair--at least on the surface-- and that creates a special sort of dilemma for the faithful. It has many variations, but it is typically expressed like this: If there is a just God, and he really, truly loves us and wants us to return to live with him, why is life so hard? Or, why do so many bad things happen to good people?

For some, life's perceived unfairness can fuel doubts that grow into significant stumbling blocks to their faith. On the other hand, when we seek answers to even our most profound questions through prayer and a study of divinely-appointed sources we find answers that build our faith. The specific answer you or I may need at a particular time will most likely come through the Holy Ghost as we diligently seek to learn God's wisdom; but there are also some general principles that can guide our thoughts.

For example, consider the role of opposition in the lives of the faithful. Prophets like Moses, Nephi, Abraham and Joseph Smith all faced seemingly insurmountable opposition to their righteous efforts. Meanwhile, the Israelites, Nephi's brothers and others seeking the path of least resistance appear to have had less faith but also to have faced less opposition.

Lehi had a comfortable and prosperous life in Jerusalem. Had he ignored the Lord's commandment to go into the wilderness, he would've likely kept his prosperity for a time. He would have avoided the difficult journey across the wilderness and near death experiences when there wasn't food or when the storms threatened his ship. He would not have experienced the anguish of waiting and not knowing when he sent his sons to recover the brass plates from Laban. Perhaps even some of the conflict with Laman and Lemuel would have been entirely avoided had he only decided to do what was more comfortable and convenient.

Without such opposition, it is also very possible that none of us would have ever heard of Lehi. He would have been killed or taken captive by the Assyrians along with thousands of other Jews in Jerusalem, never obtaining the brass plates or making it to the promised land. It was his faith to obey the Lord's voice, knowing it would be a more difficult path, that helped him cross the ocean almost 1600 years before the vikings and provide the foundation for the Book of Mormon. He shared his thoughts on the matter with his son Jacob:

For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my firstborn in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad... It must needs be that there [is] an opposition; even the forbidden fruit in opposition to the tree of life; the one being sweet and the other bitter. Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself. Wherefore, man could not act for himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other (2 Nephi 2:11, 15-16).

Opposition gives us meaningful choices. Those choices always have consequences. Sometimes the bad things (and good things!) that happen to us or to those we love are simply the natural results of an earlier action. Infidelity or angry outbursts may lead to a painful divorce. One person's dishonesty in the corporate world may lead to sanctions and layoffs that affect thousands of employees. One group's public preference for a particular false doctrine may yield negative consequences for an entire society, including those standing for truth, as that doctrine is adopted in public opinion and policy. And one man's faith in God's commandment to lead his family into the desert can be the beginning of two mighty nations and the restoration of the gospel that has blessed millions.

In the apparent chaos of all our choosing and reaping consequences, there is order. The Lord is in control. He promises, "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it" (1 Corinthians 10:13). And again, "All things will work together for good to them that love God" (Romans 8:28).

How do the hard things in life work together for our good? President John Taylor once explained:

I heard the Prophet Joseph say, in speaking to the Twelve on one occasion: 'You will have all kinds of trials to pass through. And it is quite as necessary for you to be tried as it was for Abraham and other men of God, and (said he) God will feel after you, and He will take hold of you and wrench your very heart strings, and if you cannot stand it you will not be fit for an inheritance in the Celestial Kingdom of God.' ... Joseph Smith never had many months of peace after he received the truth, and finally he was murdered in Carthage jail" (John Taylor, Deseret News: Semi-Weekly, Aug. 21, 1883, p. 1).

The apostle Paul wrote that "we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God" and declared that as many as believed despite opposition were ordained to eternal life (Acts 14:22, 13:48). If the faithful must be tried as Abraham to inherit the Celestial Kingdom, it follows that some of the opposition we face in life may actually be blessings for earlier faithfulness and/or to inspire greater faithfulness. Just as athletes that excel have opportunities to face better competition and employees have more professional development opportunities as they climb the corporate ladder, disciples of Christ experience greater opposition to their faith as they come to know and rely on his teachings and Atonement.

Some of these experiences may be like what President Henry B. Eyring described when he explained how his father's prayers during a losing battle with cancer taught him about the deeply personal relationship between God and His children:

When the pain became intense, we found him in the morning on his knees by the bed. He had been too weak to get back into bed. He told us that he had been praying to ask Heavenly Father why he had to suffer so much when he had always tried to be good. He said a kindly answer came: 'God needs brave sons.'

And so he soldiered on to the end, trusting that God loved him, listened to him, and would lift him up. He was blessed to have known early and to never forget that a loving God is as close as a prayer ("Families and Prayer," Ensign or Liahona, Sept. 2015, 4).

Elder Eyring's dad had served others as a professor and priesthood leader most of his life, yet there was a valuable lesson for him about God's love that he could only learn through a difficult life experience of his own. That experience enhanced his prayers, reaffirmed and enriched his knowledge of who he was and God's love for him, and gave him the courage to face the end of his life.

Speaking of a man who was born blind, the Savior taught, "Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but [he was born blind] that the works of God should be manifest in him" (John 9:3). This hardship was not the result of anyone's prior action but was given as a gift to inspire sufficient faith to lead the blind man and those around him to salvation.

Other times, the hardships we see others facing may be as much about teaching us to serve as they are about opposition for those involved. Elder Robert D. Hales has taught:

As the Savior's latter-day disciples, we come unto Him by loving and serving God's children. As we do, we may not be able to avoid tribulation, affliction, and suffering in the flesh, but we will suffer less spiritually. Even in our trials we can experience joy and peace...

As we follow Jesus Christ, His love motivates us to support each other on our mortal journey. We cannot do it alone. You have heard me share the Quaker proverb before: Thee lift me, I'll lift thee, and we'll ascend together eternally. As disciples, we begin to do this when we are baptized, showing our willingness to 'bear one another's burdens, that they may be light' (October 2016).

It is often said that one of the primary purposes in life is to be tested and tried. That is true, of course, but this phrase is also often misconstrued to mean that God will throw curveballs just to see if he can strike us out. God is "perfect, has all power, and knows all things" ("God the Father", Gospel Topics). He has a perfect love for each of us. He already knows what we would do in a given situation and he has no interest in embarrassing us unnecessarily; rather, his work and glory is to mold and refine us until we are prepared to inherit all that he has.

Each of us has known someone who has tried our patience. Perhaps it was a coworker, another driver on the freeway or one of our children. When we say that our patience has been tried, usually we mean it has been pushed to or even slightly beyond its normal limits. We may feel in those exasperating moments that we don't have any patience at all, but more often than not we have been even more patient than we normally consider ourselves capable and we are feeling the effects of being stretched to something more than what we were before. This is how the Lord tries us and makes us better.

There is a story by an anonymous author about a group of women studying the Book of Malachi in Bible study that illustrates how the Lord uses opposition in our lives. As they read in chapter three, verse three, they read: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." This verse puzzled the women and they wondered what the statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out about the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible study. That week, the woman called up a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She watched as the silversmith held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that, in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest so as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot - then she thought again about the verse: He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver. She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left even a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's the easy part-- when I see my image reflected in it."

Speaking to an audience of missionaries, Elder Holland taught:

I am convinced that [a disciple's life] is not easy because salvation is not a cheap experience. Salvation never was easy. We are the Church of Jesus Christ, this is the truth, and He is our Great Eternal Head. How could we believe it would be easy for us when it was never, ever easy for Him? It seems to me that [we] have to spend at least a few moments in Gethsemane. [We] have to take at least a step or two toward the summit of Calvary.

Now, please don't misunderstand. I'm not talking about anything anywhere near what Christ experienced. That would be presumptuous and sacreligious. But I believe that [all of us], to come to the truth, to come to salvation, to know something of this price that has been paid, will have to pay a token of that same price.

For that reason I don't believe [a disciple's life] has ever been easy, nor that conversion is, ... nor that continued faithfulness is. I believe it is supposed to require some effort, something from the depths of our soul ("Missionary Work and the Atonement", Provo MTC, 20 June 2000).

Life is hard because it is supposed to change who we are. Bad things happen to good people, at least some of the time, because they are ready to be put in the fire and refined into someone who reflects the image of our Savior in their countenance. They are ready to take a step or two toward the summit of Calvary and an eternal life in the Celestial Kingdom of God.

The real question then isn't why life is hard, but how we are responding to the opposition in our lives. Are we willing to give up all that we have to walk the more difficult path of a true disciple? When we are in the midst of the flames, are we willing to trust that the silversmith knows better than the silver when it has been refined?

Like Elder Eyring's father, we can get the answers we need in a difficult time through prayer and the Holy Ghost. As we come to realize that many of the hard things in our lives are actually blessings to try us, refine us and qualify us to have a seat next to Moses and Nephi in the presence of God, it becomes increasingly clear that God is in control, he is our perfect judge, and unfair as it may be, all things work together for good to them that love God.

Magic Mirrors and the Perfect Law of Liberty

About an hour east of Frankfurt, Germany, is the small city of Lohr. Like hundreds of other European cities, the highlight of Lohr is the spectacular castle that was once the center of a bustling fiefdom. Inside, visitors find thousands of evidences of the wealth and luxury of its former occupants, but none more striking than the iconic Lohr Mirror.

The Lohr Mirror Manufacture of the eighteenth century was truly ahead of its time. After thousands of years of using pools of water or polished copper to produce faint and distorted reflections, the Lohr Manufacture had developed an elaborate production process that resulted in more reflected light and much clearer images.

By the 1720s, Lohr mirrors had gained a reputation for "always speaking the truth" and became a favorite gift of the European crown and aristocratic courts. Like Narcissus of Greek mythology, who fell in love with his own reflection and would rather die than part with it, it was during the heyday of the Lohr Mirror Manufacture that people began to be accused of spending excessive amounts of time "looking into the glass," almost always in self-admiration.

It was also during this period that Phillipp Christoph von Erthal gave an elegant full-length Lohr mirror to his second wife, the Countess Claudia Elisabeth von Venningen, to display in the Lohr Castle where they lived. When Phillipp died in the 1740s, local legend says the "talking mirror" became the center of Claudia's life. Increasingly obsessed with her own image, Claudia soon began to be insanely jealous of her step-daughter, the Baroness Maria Sophia von Erthal, whom the people of Lohr adored as an "angel of mercy and kindness" and the ideal princess.

Before long, Maria, who is better known today as the Grimm Brothers’ "Snow White", was forced to flee 22 miles through the mountains to escape her stepmother's murderous plots. She found sanctuary for a time in the mining community of Bieber, which was primarily staffed by children at the time, until her stepmother found and poisoned her there.

The fairy tale gets a little strange at this point, but in the story of the Countess von Venningen, we find a troubling obsession with self-image that, like Narcissus, leads to physical and spiritual death. We can expect a similar consequence if we hold our own self-interest like a mirror between us and the rest of the world, for it will severely inhibit our ability to make connections, build relationships and see and enjoy all that is good about life. In selfish and narrow-minded seeking for whatever life we've conjured up for ourselves, the Lord has promised that we will lose our lives (Luke 17:33).

The tragedies of Narcissus, the Countess and others like them are made worse by the realization that the images that have so captivated their subjects are nothing more than distorted reflections of physical light, void of substance and incapable of showing the viewer a complete picture of the reality within or around them. The Lord told Samuel that he, "seeth not as a man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7). Though our physical appearance may deceive ourselves and others for a time, the Lord knows the reality of who we are and our inner thoughts, desires and emotions.

We can now and someday all will have a perfect knowledge of who we really are. Paul wrote that "for now we see through a glass, darkly," but that one day, "when that which is perfect is come," we will see these realities "face to face" (1 Corinthians 13:12). This includes the glorious truths of our divine heritage. The Family: A Proclamation to the World declares that "all human beings--male and female--are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny."

James, the brother of Jesus, taught us how we can see ourselves as we really are. "For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer," he said, "he [or she] is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what matter of man he was. But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed" (James 1:23-25). 

The particular language here provides us the insights we need. Both Paul and James speak of perfection in contrast to our present vision, and more particularly, in contrast to what we see in the mirror. Paul tells us that we will see clearly “when that which is perfect is come”. James suggests that looking into the perfect law of liberty is in direct competition with looking forgetfully at our reflection. But how do we look into a law? And how does that really contrast with the man who looked into the mirror-- like Narcissus and the Countess-- yet forgot who he really was?

In a 1981 General Conference address, President Marion G. Romney reminded us that many of those with the greatest political and economic freedom never experience true freedom of the soul. "Free agency," he cautioned, "precious as it is, is not of itself the perfect liberty we seek, nor does it necessarily lead thereto. As a matter of fact, through the exercise of their agency more people have come to political, economic, and personal bondage than to liberty."

Yet, "notwithstanding the fact that through its misuse, political, economic and personal liberty are lost, free agency will always endure because it is an eternal principle. However, the free agency possessed by any one person is increased or diminished by the use to which he puts it" ("The Perfect Law of Liberty", October 1981, emphasis added).

In other words, we "are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil" (2 Nephi 2:27). This is not done all at once, but each choice we make either adds to our freedom or to our bondage. The Countess von Venningen had nearly unlimited political and economic freedom. She could have won the affection of her people by throwing wonderful parties or planting elaborate gardens or easing their burdens. Instead, she allowed each glance at the mirror to narrow her vision and replace potential for joy with enraged jealousy until she became a slave to her obsession and sealed her own fate to an eternal bondage.

Contrast the Countess' experience with the Apostle Paul, who was often persecuted and penniless. He wrote to the Corinthians:

Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness" (2 Corinthians 11:24-27).

Despite all of this, Paul wrote to Timothy shortly before his death: "I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing" (2 Timothy 4:6-8). Paul, who forfeited economic and political freedom to become a disciple of Christ, and who was writing from a prison cell in Rome, expresses here the perfect freedom of the soul he enjoyed despite earthly tribulations.

Christ taught that "whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin. And the servant abideth not in the house for ever: but the Son abideth forever. If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed" (John 8:34-36). And again, "they who are not sanctified through the law which I have given unto you, even the law of Christ, must inherit another kingdom, even that of a terrestrial kingdom, or that of a telestial kingdom. For he who is not able to abide the law of a celestial kingdom cannot abide a celestial glory" (D&C 86:21-22). And again, "Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven" (D&C121:45).

This, then, is the perfect law of liberty: that as we choose obedience to the laws of Christ, we will find liberty of the soul in direct proportion to our obedience until our obedience and our liberty become perfect. If we look into the perfect law of liberty, that is, if we lay aside our filthiness and become doers of the word as James directs, the light that is reflected back at us will not be imperfect physical rays but the perfect light of Christ, of the gospel, and of things as they really are (D&C 93:28, Jacob 4:13). 

"That which is of God is light," the Lord taught the Prophet Joseph Smith, "and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day" (D&C 50:24). When we follow President Monson's counsel to defy the consensus and choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong, we are choosing liberty and eternal life rather than captivity and death and we will receive more spiritual light as a result-- but there are really two processes going on at once.

First, through our faithful action upon the words of God we receive more light and truth from the Lord. We will be capable of even greater faith and obedience. But second, and of equal or greater importance, is that as we continually repent and improve in our obedience we are refined, not unlike a Lohr Mirror, until we become mirrors of spiritual light that "always speak the truth". That is, we undergo a process of learning and refining until we perfectly reflect his image in our countenances (Alma 5:14).

"Ye are the light of the world," the Lord taught, "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven" (Matthew 5:14-16). Our goal in striving to obey the words of scripture, of modern prophets, and of the Holy Ghost, is not to become our own dim light in the world but rather that through our good works our brothers and sisters will see the Light of the World, our Savior and theirs, and come into his fold.

To be able to reflect that light, James again directs: "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world" (James 1:27). "And that thou mayest more fully keep thyself unspotted from the world," the Lord has taught us in modern times, "thou shalt go to the house of prayer and offer up thy sacraments upon my holy day" (D&C 59:9).

As we strive to live the gospel, we are both receivers and reflectors of the light that gives liberty to us all. If we choose, our light and liberty can grow until the Lord's image is reflected in our countenance and, thus endowed with light and truth, we will stand confidently in the presence of God as one of his fold, not as rulers of a small fiefdom but as heirs to the supreme celestial light and glory of the King of Kings and the Creator of the Universe (John 10:14, Matthew 7:31, D&C 93:36, John 3:21).

Then, perhaps, you'll also have a chance to meet the real Snow White. If you do, perhaps you can also ask her what that business with the prince was really all about.

Be Ye Therefore Perfect

The Savior was just beginning his mortal ministry when he delivered “the greatest sermon ever given,” known to us as the Sermon on the Mount (Thomas S. Monson, April 1975). His teachings introduced a higher law than the Law of Moses and his authority astonished those that heard him preach (Matthew 5-7, 7:28-29). Among the guidance he gave to govern our lives was the charge to, “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:48).

Taken at face value, this commandment is a concise summary of all the commandments and the divine plan of God for our happiness, immortality and exaltation. The Family: A Proclamation to the World explains that our physical bodies and our experiences on earth are given to us so that we might, “progress toward perfection and ultimately realize [our] divine destiny as heirs of eternal life”.

It is easy to feel overwhelmed by so large a task, particularly when we attempt to limit the Savior’s command to our own strength and our own timelines, as if it were some sort of academic exercise. When we slow down to consider the matter, there are at least three ways we can follow this ultimate commandment every day—and none of them happen instantly or in isolation.

First, we can take the Lord’s charge in context and understand that we are to be perfect in the thing which Christ had most recently taught. Just prior to the command to be perfect we read:

Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love they neighbor, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust (Matthew 5:44-45).

Loving God with all of our hearts and our neighbors as ourselves are the first and second great commandments, respectively, and laws upon which all others rely (Mathew 22: 34-40). As our Father in heaven loves all people perfectly, so in time must we learn to love as He loves. We are blessed in this endeavor to have the support and the challenges that come with building loving relationships with our families first, as well as others around us. We had a family before we were born and will be reunited with our loved ones after death if we make and keep temple covenants. Because the need to love perfectly will never subside,the journey we make with our families toward perfection spans far beyond our mortal existence.

Despite the help we receive from others and freedom from the constraints of time in our pursuit, clearly perfection requires effort from us. Paul admonished the Corinthians to, “examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves…. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you” (2 Corinthians 13:5-11). Paul’s admonition challenges us to strive to become a more perfect being, more than but still very much a person filled with love, faith and a sound identity.

Paul's admonition refers to a broader sense of perfection where we are expected to not only love or believe or do perfectly but to be perfect beings. This is the source of perfect angst in many Sunday School classes, but such is the natural consequence of our own limited comprehension. Again we benefit from the realization that our pursuit will be neither short nor lonely. Speaking of perfection in this way, Elder Russell M. Nelson explained:

The term perfect was translated from the Greek teleios, which means ‘complete.’ … The infinitive form of the verb is teleiono, which means ‘to reach a distant end, to be fully developed, to consummate, or to finish.’ Please note that the word does not imply freedom from error; it implies achieving a distant objective.
We need not be dismayed if our earnest efforts toward perfection now seem so arduous and endless. Perfection is pending. It can come in full only after the Resurrection and only through the Lord. It awaits all who love him and keep his commandments (“Perfection Pending,” Ensign, Nov. 1996, 86, 88).

The Prophet Joseph Smith likened the pursuit of perfection to climbing a ladder as we learn each of the principles of the gospel. “But it will be a great while after you have passed through the veil before will have learned them,” he added. “It is not all to be comprehended in this world; it will be a great work to learn our salvation and exaltation even beyond the grave” (Teachings: Joseph Smith, 268).

Our great work is aided in this life by scripture guides that point the way. As Paul taught the Corinthians to “examine yourselves”, so Alma encouraged the people of Nephi to have personal interviews with themselves and provided some of the questions they might ask:

And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?

Do ye exercise faith in the redemption of him who created you? Do you look forward with an eye of faith, and view this mortal body raised in immortality, and this corruption raised in incorruption, to stand before God to be judged according to the deeds which have been done in the mortal body? (Alma 5:14–15)

Dozens of other guides for personal measurement dot the scriptures and include, but are not limited to, the Ten Commandments, the scriptural gospel (faith, repentance, baptism for the remission of sins, the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end), the Articles of Faith, and the Beatitudes, which the Savior uses to preface the call to perfection.

Of course, self-evaluation itself is seldom easy and requires honest soul-searching, personal pondering, sincere prayer, and a genuine relationship with the Savior. In a 2013 devotional, BYU statistics professor Shane Reese warned that a critical part of measuring ourselves is ensuring fairness in our assessments:

While some who try to make assessments of themselves will not hold themselves to a high enough standard, it is my experience that most are more inclined to be far too tough on themselves… As we make measurements of ourselves, we must be fair. In a generation that is dominated by knee-jerk reactions that can be sent around the globe in microseconds and by the instantaneous measurements that are meted out through social media, we are often lured into making judgments without data. The virtual world that comes with the miracles of technology have a side effect of masking “things as they really are" (Jacob 4:13).

Elder Uchtdorf taught that our ability to progress depends a great deal on our relationship with ourselves:

It may seem odd to think of having a relationship with ourselves, but we do. Some people can’t get along with themselves. They criticize and belittle themselves all day long until they begin to hate themselves. May I suggest that you reduce the rush and take a little extra time to get to know yourself better. Walk in nature, watch a sunrise, enjoy God’s creations, ponder the truths of the restored gospel, and find out what they mean for you personally. Learn to see yourself as Heavenly Father sees you—as His precious daughter or son with divine potential. (Ensign, November 2010, 22)

As we learn to examine ourselves we can make better choices that make our efforts more effective and efficient and bring us closer to the Savior and His perfection. No matter how well we become at evaluating and improving however, it is a serious mistake to think that we can reach our final destination—that we can become perfect—without help that only our Savior can provide.

The scriptures teach that those who inherit the Celestial Kingdom and live forever in the presence of God are just people who put forth considerable effort to develop faith to overcome life’s challenges and their own natures. Yet, ultimately, all of them are, “made perfect through Jesus the mediator of the new covenant, who wrought out this perfect atonement through the shedding of his own blood” (D&C 76:52-69).

Lest we are ever tempted to take too much credit, Isaiah, speaking Messianically, lays it out this way:

For I will send my servant unto you who are blind; yea, a messenger to open the eyes of the blind, and unstop the ears of the deaf; And they shall be made perfect notwithstanding their blindness, if they will hearken unto the messenger, the Lord’s servant (JST Isaiah 42:19-20).

Finally, the third way we can understand the Savior’s charge to, “be ye therefore perfect,” is to look at the precedent of law and use a little math.

The laws of God and many governments on earth dictate that two or more people bound by covenant or contract, such as marriage, can become one unit in the eyes of the law. A husband and wife can share a bank account, make significant medical decisions for each other and inherit property upon the death of their spouse.

Similarly, a company or other organization may benefit or be held responsible for the actions of a single employee bound to them by a contract of employment, even if that contract is implied. In the eyes of the law, individuals bound by covenant or contract can be seen as one unit-- one family or one organization.

This is important because all of us can enter into a covenant with Christ through baptism. As a bride takes on the name of her groom, so we covenant that we are willing to take upon ourselves the name of the Son, and in so doing we become as one unit with the only man in the history of the world that was and is and will always be perfect and perfectly worthy to live in the presence of God (D&C 20:77). As both the bride and the groom must agree to be married, so Christ too was baptized, bidding his astonished cousin to, “suffer it to be so now: for thus it becometh us to fulfill all righteousness” (Matthew 3:15).

And now the math. Because a married couple may be seen as one unit, they often share assets and liabilities-- they both own the house and are responsible for the mortgage. If instead of cash and debts we dealt in the currency of righteousness and sins, all of us are debtors. King Benjamin explained:

And now, in the first place, [God] hath created you, and granted unto you your lives, for which ye are indebted unto him. And secondly, he doth require that ye should do as he hath commanded you; for which if ye do, he doth immediately bless you; and therefore he hath paid you. And ye are still indebted to him, and are, and will be, forever and ever (Mosiah 2:23-24).

We cannot enter God's presence with the impure debt of sin and unity with Christ alone cannot wipe away that debt. This becomes clear if we conceptualize our sins as a negative number and Christ's perfection as 0, as in free from all sin. No matter the size of our debt these numbers cannot yield a positive outcome.

Paul taught that, “all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). Therefore, “it is expedient that there should be a great and last sacrifice; yea, not a sacrifice of man, neither of beast, neither of any manner of fowl; for it shall not be a human sacrifice; but it must be an infinite and eternal sacrifice” (Alma 34:10).

Again, conceptually, infinity plus or minus any number is still infinity. With Christ, sins of any collective magnitude do not diminish the value of his Atonement nor his capacity to forgive and strengthen each of us. He asks only that we fulfill our end of the baptismal covenant that binds us to Christ, washes our debts away with his His infinite surpluses, and allows us to be perfect today.

The primary importance of our unity with Christ as the means by which we may become perfect is illustrated in the Savior’s experience with Mary and Martha in Luke chapter 10. While Mary learned at the feet of the Savior and came closer to Him, Martha was “cumbered about much serving” and rushing, perhaps somewhat frantically, to be the perfect hostess for her guest. When Martha finally appealed to Jesus to encourage her sister to help, the Savior responded with love: “Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:40-42).

How do we respond to the charge to be perfect even as our Father in heaven is perfect? Do we fill our schedules with activities that find us rushing frantically from one activity to another or do we take the time to get to know ourselves and build relationships with our Savior, our families, and those we serve? Are we harsh in our measurements of ourselves or do we strive to do our best and see our efforts as the Lord sees them? Do we trust in our Savior and cling to the covenants we have made or are we casual in our observance of the gospel and blinded by our own pride?

It is my testimony that we can live up to the Savior’s command to be perfect as we make and keep baptismal covenants today, strive for constant improvements until our journey is complete through the grace of Christ in the eternities to come, and do all we can to love one another and build positive relationships with those around us, particularly our families. We are, after all, bound to them as well and mutually bound to Christ— success for one of us, or for someone we home teach, or for those we serve-- is a success for all of us.

Indeed, as Paul taught the Romans, “the Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together” (Romans 8:16-17).

Saved by Chastening

All of us experience the chastisement of God in our lives. Sometimes it may be that we are given a particular trial; at other times, we hear His voice in the words of scriptures or the living prophets admonishing us to do better; still other times, the Spirit of the Lord withdraws and we feel hollow or "in a funk". This is exactly as it should be.

In August of 1831, the Prophet Joseph Smith was traveling in canoes with ten elders down the Missouri River when they experienced many dangers. For at least two of the elders, these experiences were necessary before leaving on their missions. The Lord explained:

I would not suffer that ye should part until you were chastened for all your sins, that you might be one, that you might not perish in wickedness; (D&C 61:8).

Through chastisement, the Lord teaches that we may become 'one'. There are at least two ways the scripture teach we should become one. First, we become one with Christ through faith on his name, repentance, baptism by immersion for the remission of sins, and the gift of the Holy Ghost. This oneness with Christ is the only way to be saved in the Celestial Kingdom of God.

Second, by virtue of unity with Christ, we also become unified with all others who have taken his name upon them through baptism. By virtue of our unity with those around us, it becomes our best interest to build them up, support them, and help them continue down the gospel path. In so doing, we help each other to become selfless, humble and charitable, preparing each other to return to our heavenly home.

Chastisement helps us become one with Christ and one with those around us as we repent and seek to do better. In essence, the Lord told the elders with Joseph Smith that they were chastened for their sins that they might qualify for eternal life. From this viewpoint, the chastisement itself becomes less of a punishment and more an act of grace-- a blessing or an opportunity.

The Lord taught the children of Israel the benefits of chastisement also, asking them to "consider in thine heart" that the Lord chastens them as a father chastens his son. This is not intended to conjure up images of an abusive relationship, but the love and concern of a sincere parent attempting to guide his child in righteousness. To the people experiencing forty years of chastisement in the wilderness, there is great hope in the reminder that motive is their prosperity:

For the Lord thy God bringeth thee into a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and depths that spring out of valleys and hills... A land wherein thou shalt eat bread without scarceness, thou shalt not lack any thing in it (Deuteronomy 8:5-10).

Understanding that the Lord's desire is to bless us, and that chastisement is one way he helps us qualify for the grandest of blessings, helps us understand the declaration found in Job:

Happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty: For he maketh sore, and bindeth up; he woundeth, and his hands make whole (Job 5:17-27).

Chastisement is not just a luxury to bring us happiness and blessings, however. The elders with Joseph Smith were warned that if they did not become one they would perish in wickedness. Reaching that level of unity requires some correction or chastisement along the way. The Lord said:

My people must be tried in all things, that they may be prepared to receive the glory that I have for them, even the glory of Zion; and he that will not bear chastisement is not worthy of my kingdom (D&C 136:31).

Again, he teaches:

They must needs be chastened and tried, even as Abraham, who was commanded to offer up his only son. For all those who will not endure chastening, but deny me, cannot be sanctified (D&C 101:1-5).

We all know someone who has chosen to be offended by chastisement rather than receiving correction. At some time in our lives, each of us has chosen to be stubborn and proud at least for a period of time. By choosing not to accept God's correction, we also choose to walk the path of an unsanctified life that leads to unworthiness, to the destruction of our own souls and to sorrow.

The relevant question for each of our lives is to ask how we will respond to chastisement. Will we accept correction and strive to be one with Christ and our fellow man through obedience to the word of God? Or will we be offended and harden our hearts against the God who seeks our own prosperity?

The choice is ours, but only one option brings exaltation in the kingdom of God. If we endure chastening, even glory in it, we can hope (in the gospel sense) for the prosperity of our 'promised land'. We will be happy. We will be one with Christ and with our fellow man. And God will direct our souls back to his presence, to inherit eternal life in the Celestial Kingdom.