The Gift and Power of Agency

Elder David A. Bednar has said that the principle of agency is one of the least understood among members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Seeing that “all have not faith,” we should therefore “seek learning, even by study and also by faith” (D&C 88:118) that we may be “edified and rejoice together” (D&C 50:22).

I.                Background

Before we can begin to understand the gift and power of agency, we must first remember that each of us lived with God before we were born (Job 38:4-7; Jer. 1:4-5; D&C 93:29). He is our father and, as children of God, we are his royal offspring.

In the premortal realm, we had free will according to eternal law. It may seem obvious that a righteous and loving father would allow his children to make personal choices without compulsion, but it is important to understand that doing so is both natural to our Heavenly Father and essential to his divine role. God was not simply granted unfathomable power, nor did he obtain it by conquest or by birthright alone; rather, he progressed to it as he learned over time to understand and obey absolute, eternal laws including principles of love, sacrifice, humility, meekness, consecration, and the priesthood requirement to exercise no unrighteous dominion.

At some point in our premortal development, God presented a plan for our continued progress and salvation with moral agency at its core. By our own free will, we would fall. We would experience opposition. We would be separated from Him and unable to return on our own. Our Heavenly Father promised that if we would follow His plan, He would also provide a Savior whose infinite and eternal sacrifice would redeem and exalt us. In other words, He would gift to us the power to choose to return to Him, and even become like Him, even and especially when that goal was and is well beyond our reach. This is the gift of agency.

Lucifer “sought to destroy the agency of man” (Moses 4:3). When God presented His perfect plan, the question wasn’t “which plan shall it be?” That is, Lucifer didn’t present an alternate plan and he didn’t simply lose an election. The question instead was, “whom shall I send?” Jesus Christ, known premortally as Jehovah, was both willing and able to execute the plan as presented for the salvation and exaltation of the children of God.

Lucifer also volunteered, but his apparent volunteerism was a scheme to “exalt [his own] throne above the stars of God” (Isaiah 14:12-15). He asked for God’s power and promised that, with that power, he would “surely” save all of the children of God (Moses 4:1, D&C 29:36). God knew the intents of Lucifer’s heart and that his mutinous scheme was contrary to eternal law and, therefore, void of the power necessary to save and exalt us. In other words, Lucifer was not able to provide for the agency of mankind but was nonetheless willing to damn the progress of all of God’s children and lie in the presence of God to satisfy his own ambitious lust for power.

Because the children of God enjoy free will, Lucifer’s unfeeling arrogance threatened to undermine God’s plan for the exaltation of His children. He wanted the rewards without the work and power without principle. He was willing, without loyalty, to convince others to break the commandments of God and, in effect, sacrifice their eternal progress so he could get what he wanted for himself.

The scriptures say that one-third of the children of God, each loved perfectly by their eternal parents, knowingly rebelled against God and, through the violation of eternal law, were cast out of His presence to both prevent their complete destruction (D&C 67:12) and preserve the opportunity for you and I to have the gift of agency. In Hebrew symbolism, one-third is often used as a fraction of any proportion—it could as easily be one-tenth or three quarters as one third—but if we take it literally we must understand that incomprehensible billions of our brothers and sisters lost their first estate in premortal rebellion.

As promised in the plan, a world was created for us. Physical bodies for Adam and Eve were created in the Garden of Eden. Now in the flesh, Adam and Eve maintained the free will they enjoyed premortally.

Lucifer, still engaged in a personal war for power, deceived Adam and Eve and led them to transgress the laws of God as he had done to so many others before them. Unlike those Lucifer had previously led astray however, Adam and Eve remained loyal to God. Their transgression was not a rebellion, but a consequence of their imperfect effort to keep the commandments according to the knowledge they had. Eternal law mandated that Adam and Eve be separated from God for their transgression just as those who rebelled in the premortal world were separated from God for theirs; but the humility of Adam and Eve allowed for this experience to benefit their progress rather than damning it (D&C 29:39-41).

As Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden, they were taught and given several instructions. They were given more commandments so the Lord could bless them for their obedience and sacrifice. Most of all, they were promised that God would provide a Savior for them, as had been presented in premortal council, so that they could have the agency to return to the presence of God.

II.             Agency is a Principle of Power

The prophet Lehi taught his sons: “Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself… And because [the children of men] are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law… according to the commandments which God hath given.”

“Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh… And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself” (2 Nephi 2:16, 26-27).

We are not victims of the fall to be pulled in every direction by the things that happen to us. As a college football coach said recently, “none of us are born winners and none of us are born losers. We’re all born choosers” (Nick Saban on ESPN.com, August 25, 2022). Elder Klebingat taught in our most recent General Conference that “God won’t force us to do good, and the devil can’t force us to do evil. Though some may think that mortality is a contest between God and the adversary, a word from the Savior ‘and Satan is silenced and banished. … It is [our] strength that is being tested—not God’s’” (April 2022).

Agency is the power to act for ourselves, but it “is not simply the right to choose; it is the opportunity to choose the right” (Elder Randy Funk, April 2022). God explained to Enoch that he “gave unto [the children of men] their knowledge, in the day I created them; and in the Garden of Eden, gave I unto man his agency; And unto thy brethren have I said, and also given commandment, that they should love one another, and that they should choose me, their Father” (Moses 7:32-33).

As we choose to trust in God and keep His commandments, we are given power to take those actions that will lead us to “liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men”. We need no such power to choose “captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil” (2 Nephi 2:27, emphasis added). Though we maintain free will to choose life or death, Elder Bednar has taught that “the gift that comes to us through the Savior’s Atonement is agency. … It is the capacity to act and learn from our own experiences. That is the very essence and purpose of being here in mortality.”

The need for this power shows up in everyday situations. It takes no strength of will to stay in bed on a Sunday morning; only to get up and go to church. It takes no willpower to indulge, only to have virtue. We need no power beyond our own to criticize or be sarcastic or cynical. We are completely capable of discouragement, negativity, doubt and despair. We need the power of the Savior’s Atonement to be patient, grateful, kind, and full of faith and hope. This is the power of agency. This is the power to choose Him by choosing to be like Him.

When we consistently use our agency to choose God, our confidence increases until, as Elder Bednar has taught, “we can ultimately navigate the most difficult circumstances in life knowing that we will never be alone and we will always have his help.” This is the power to overcome all things.

III.           The Role and Meaning of Opposition

Of course, the power to overcome all things is only relevant if there are things to overcome. The Lord taught that, “it must needs be that the devil should tempt the children of men, or they could not be agents unto themselves; for if they never should have bitter they could not know the sweet” (D&C 29:39).

Lehi likewise taught:

And to bring about his eternal purposes in the end of man, after he had created our first parents… it must needs be that there was an opposition; even the forbidden fruit in opposition to the tree of life; the one being sweet and the other bitter. Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself. Wherefore, man could not act for himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other” (2 Nephi 2:15-16).

Some modern researchers believe that human behavior is entirely the result of our genetics, environmental conditioning, birth order, socioeconomic status, early childhood trauma, and countless other “puppet strings” that pull us in one direction or another. The philosophy that all events are determined by some external pulling of the strings is known as determinism.

We give in to a determinist view when we surrender our agency with comments like, “I just couldn’t help myself,” “I was just having a bad day,” or “I just had to do it.” Determinism implies that we are not in control, that we are merely objects being acted upon, absent any spiritual self-reliance, and therefore we cannot be held morally responsible for our actions. We must join the Dark Side—it is our destiny—so resistance to the opposition we face is futile.

Through the gospel lens, we can see an alternative perspective. We can see, as Drs. Jeffrey Thayne and Edwin Gantt have argued, that “meaning is found in the superposition [or comparison] of things as they are against things as they could be. Sweet is only meaningful in contrast with bitter. Life is only meaningful in contrast with death. And love is meaningful only when set against indifference or hate.”

Opposition, in this view, is not a force pushing us toward our inevitable destiny, a string pulling us in some direction, or even a meaningless obstacle to what we really want, but rather an opportunity to be enticed by good or evil and exercise or practice using our agency. With each repetition of this resistance training—each time we exercise our agency by choosing Him—we invite the strength of the Atonement of Jesus Christ into our lives.

Yes, genes and birth order and socioeconomic status do have an impact on our lives; but rather than causing particular choices or outcomes these characteristics “simply serve to tie all the events of our lives together in a meaningful and coherent story.” With God, all things are possible; and with agency, possibility is preserved.

Ironically, in seeking to destroy the agency of man, Lucifer has provided the necessary opposition to make that agency, and our lives, meaningful. 

IV.           Representative Agency

One of the ways we exercise our agency is by choosing to follow our Savior into the waters of baptism. There are three conditions of the baptismal covenant: we must choose to begin to take the name of Christ upon ourselves (something we will do more fully in the temple later on), to always remember Him, and keep the commandments He has given us. We exercise our agency when we accept those conditions. We are then promised that, if we honor the terms of the covenant, we will always have His spirit to be with us.

When we enter into the baptismal covenant and begin to have the name of Christ come upon us, our agency is enlarged. It is no longer individual agency; it is enlarged to become representative agency as the call to represent Christ and his name at all times, in all places, and in all things becomes more important that what you or I may want in a given moment.

I think of this very much in the same way that I think of my responsibility to my employer. In everything I do, I am an agent representing the organization that pays my salary. I have some autonomy to make decisions and to do good, so long as those decisions and actions are consistent with the direction and purpose established by the organization. My work is not about me; it is about doing those things that contribute most to the mission of the organization.

As covenant Christians, we are agents of the Lord. We represent Him and are enlisted in His work to “bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39).

He wants us to use our agency to act as He would act, or in other words, to become spiritually self-reliant. “For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward. Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward. But he that doeth not anything until he is commanded, and receiveth a commandment with doubtful heart, and keepeth it with slothfulness, the same is damned” (D&C 58:26-29).

Our baptismal covenant includes the keys to having confidence that our actions represent Him. Most of our employers have established policies to give us direction and ensure we act in a manner that represents them well. Similarly, we have covenanted to keep the commandments both for our own benefit and to enhance our ability to represent the Lord as his agents.

Each of us have covenanted to always remember Him. This is essential to our ability to effectively represent Him. Likewise, while all mankind has received the light of Christ, sometimes referred to as our conscience, to provide the knowledge about good and evil that is fundamental to our agency, the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost blesses us and helps us to know, as full-time agents of the Lord, how we should represent the Savior in our words and actions.

Representative agency means that we are dependent upon God and devoted to representing Him at all times and in all places. It also means that we can’t just choose to do whatever we want.

For example, you or I, once we are baptized, no longer have the option to sleep in instead of going to church. We might say, “but I have my agency!” Sleeping in isn’t an exercise of agency because agency is the power to choose God and the duty and responsibility to represent Him—and sleeping in does neither of these.

If we have entered the baptismal covenant, we do not have the option of not paying our tithing. Our agency has been enlarged, we have become agents of the Lord, and what He wants for us has become more important than what we want for ourselves. Choosing to do otherwise isn’t an exercise of agency—we need no power from the Lord to make this choice—but it is a violation of our covenant that, if not corrected, will lead us down the path of selfish enticements, captivity, and spiritual death “according to the captivity and power of the devil” (2 Nephi 2:27).

Taken a step further, we might consider that if we are agents called to represent the Lord, then the priesthood is the authority to do the same. We use the priesthood when we are in the service of others; it is the power to act in His name for the salvation of His children. If we are keeping our covenants to be agents unto the Lord, the priesthood attends all of us in our service to our families, in magnifying the callings for which we have been set apart, and in ministering to one another.

V.              Accountability

Just as determinists argue for the absence of spiritual self-reliance, moral relativism is a popular philosophy that advocates for the absence of absolute truth. Truth, under moral relativism, is merely a social construct and therefore one person’s truth or belief cannot be any better or worse than the so-called “truth” accepted by another person.

What moral relativists are really saying is that there is no sin and that “whatsoever a man [or woman] does is no crime.” They want the rewards without the work and power without principle, so they “[use] their intellectual reservations to cover their [own] behavioral lapses.”

God’s plan for our salvation requires us to put our faith and trust in the Lord and assume accountability for the conditions of our hearts (see Sister Amy Wright, April 2022). It promises that we will reap what we sow.

The prophet Helaman taught: “And now remember, remember, my brethren, that whosoever perisheth, perisheth unto himself; and whosoever doeth iniquity, doeth it unto himself; for behold, ye are free; ye are permitted to act for yourselves; for behold, God hath given unto you a knowledge and he hath made you free. He hath given unto you that ye might know good from evil, and he hath given unto you that ye might choose life or death; and ye can do good and be restored unto that which is good, or have that which is good restored unto you; or ye can do evil, and have that which is evil restored unto you” (Helaman 14:30-31).

VI.           Conclusion

Eternal law establishes and requires that each of us have free will to choose life or death. Because we, as imperfect and impure as we are, do not have the right or ability to choose life on our own, our perfect and loving Heavenly Father has provided a Savior, Jesus Christ. Through the power of His Atonement, we can receive the gift of agency, which is the power to overcome all things and choose to return to live with God again.

The power of agency grows by degrees as we exercise it. When we enter sacred covenants to follow Him, we commit ourselves to choosing what he would have us do over some of the things we might want to do. That is, we covenant to discipline ourselves and choose God more often so that He can bless us more abundantly as we continue to strive to return to His presence.

King Benjamin warned his people that “if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish. And now, O man, remember, and perish not” (Mosiah 4:30).

Ultimately, we will also be accountable for our free will: our thoughts, our words, and our deeds. The Savior taught that “Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father in heaven” (Matthew 7:21).

If we have done the will of the Father, if we have kept our covenants to be His agents, we can lift up our hearts and be glad, for the Lord will be in our midst and He will be our advocate with the Father; and it is his good will to give you the kingdom as He counseled in the beginning (D&C 29:5).

Inheriting the Gift of Eternal Life

As Jesus Christ taught in the coasts of Judea, "there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?" (Mark 10:17).

This was a question the Savior had answered before. To a Pharisee inquiring by night, the Lord taught that the Son of man would be lifted up "that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life" (John 3:14-15). 

On another occasion, Christ was confronted by a lawyer who asked, "Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life? He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou? And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbor as thyself. And he said unto him, Thou has answered right: this do, and thou shalt live" (Luke 10:25-28).

To the one who had come running and kneeled before him, Christ expounded: "Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Defraud not, Honour thy father and mother. And he answered and said unto him, Master, all these have I observed from my youth. Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me" (Mark 10:18-21).

The scriptures teach that the work and glory of God is to "bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39). Eternal life, in particular, is "the greatest of all of the gifts of God" (D&C 14:7).

Certainly, the clandestine Pharisee, the confrontational lawyer, and the rich young ruler understood that eternal life is something of extraordinary value and profound religious significance. It was worth the risk to find Jesus by night or setting great status aside to run and kneel at the Savior's feet. Yet, like their countrymen who were disappointed when Christ shared the gospel rather than loaves and fishes, each of these inquirers were ultimately disappointed by the Savior's instruction to change something about themselves. They sought eternal life as a sort of fountain of youth and "received not, because they asked amiss, that they may consume it upon their lusts" (James 4:3). 

Like these inquirers, we also misunderstand when we think of eternal life merely as the life that comes after death and lasts forever. As sons and daughters of God, it is true that we will be resurrected and live again after we die. "For as in Adam all die," Paul wrote, "even so in Christ shall all be made alive" (1 Corinthians 15:22). We believe, as Amulek taught, that our mortal bodies will be raised to immortal bodies that can never die again (Alma 11:45). This is an incredible gift from a loving Heavenly Father, but he wants to give us more than an existence without illness or death. He desires to give us all he has (D&C 84:37-38).

In Doctrine and Covenants Section 19, we read:

For, behold, I am endless, and the punishment which is given from my hand is endless punishment, for Endless is my name. Wherefore-- Eternal punishment is God's punishment. Endless punishment is God's punishment... Therefore I command you to repent-- repent, lest I smite you by the rod of my mouth, and by my wrath, and by my anger, and your sufferings be sore-- how sore you know not, how exquisite you know not, yea, how hard to bear you know not. For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I" (D&C 19:10-17).

Eternal punishment is the name of God's punishment. In the Garden of Gethsemane, this punishment "caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit" (D&C 19:18).

Likewise, eternal life is the name of God's life. It includes eternal families, or families modeled after His in both duration and character. It includes sharing in His work and experiencing His eternal joy. As promised in the Abrahamic Covenant, with eternal life we also obtain eternal progression and glory as our posterity, like His, grows more numerous than the stars in the sky or the sands of the sea.

We obtain the blessing of eternal life from God "by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated" (D&C 130:20-21). The Lord recognizes that the gift of a lifestyle or a quality of life can only be sustained if we have learned the live the principles upon which that lifestyle is built. So many young heirs of great material wealth waste their inheritance because they do not understand the work and discipline necessary to build such a fortune. The Lord desires his gift to last much longer than fortunes in this world, so he gives us commandments to teach us how to succeed and help us begin now to live as he lives. In this way, the gift of eternal life is less like opening a present on Christmas morning and more like developing a gift for playing the piano or building furniture. As we develop wisdom, learn discipline and master the principles he has taught, we begin to inherit eternal life now because it is the natural consequence of our obedience to the law upon which it is predicated. We then inherit not only all the Lord has, but also all that he is.

"From such teachings," Elder Oaks has taught, "we conclude that the Final Judgment is not just an evaluation of a sum total of good and evil acts-- what we have done. It is an acknowledgment of the final effect of our acts and thoughts-- what we have become. It is not enough for anyone just to go through the motions. The commandments, ordinances, and covenants of the gospel are not a list of deposits required to be made in some heavenly account. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a plan that shows us how to become what our Heavenly Father desires us to become" (Oaks, Dallin H. The Challenge to Become. Ensign. November 2000.).

President Marion G. Romney shared that service, as an example, "is not something we endure on this earth so we can earn the right to live in the celestial kingdom. Service is the very fiber of which an exalted life in the celestial kingdom is made" (Romney, Marion G. The Celestial Nature of Self-Reliance. Ensign. November 1982.). As we learn to live as He lived, including selfless compassion and service to others, we become as He is and obtain the blessings He enjoys.

Even so, our best efforts, however diligent, cannot meet the high threshold of obedience required to obtain the blessing of eternal life. The Lord summarized his commandments when he told us to "be ye therefore perfect" (Matthew 5:48). We "all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). "Therefore nothing [or no one] entereth into his rest save it be those who have washed their garments in my blood, because of their faith, and the repentance of all their sins, and their faithfulness unto the end. Now this is the commandment: Repent, all ye ends of the earth, and come unto me and be baptized in my name, that ye may be sanctified by the reception of the Holy Ghost, that ye may stand spotless before me at the last day" (2 Nephi 27:19-20). 

God "so loved the world" that he provided legal means for us to inherit a blessing beyond our capacity for obedience. He "gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved" (John 3:16-17).

Through the gift of "an infinite and eternal sacrifice" (Alma 34:10), we can obtain blessings beyond our capacity for obedience through an agreement, a contract, with terms that are within our grasp. We enter that agreement through baptism, wherein we covenant and promise to remain willing to keep the commandments as best we can. We will repent and stay focused on our goal of becoming like God. If we choose not to meet these terms, the Lord will still provide many great and wonderful blessings; but if we desire all that he has, we must learn to be all that he is.

Along the path that leads to eternal life, we, like the Three Inquirers in the New Testament, may wonder from time to time what we must do to inherit eternal life. As the rich young ruler in Matthew's account of that encounter, we may approach the Lord on bended knee to ask, "What lack I yet?" We can expect a response like those in scripture with direction and guidance about how we can repent and change to be more like our Savior. He will encourage us through the power of His spirit with brief experiences with the eternal peace and joy we desire. And, step by step, if we are faithful unto the end, we will inherit "a crown of immortality and eternal life in the mansions which I [the Lord] have prepared in the house of my Father" (D&C 81:6).

What is Our Heavenly Father Really Like?

Fourteen years ago, I sat on the second or third row of a chapel in Frankfurt, Germany, listening to prelude music and watching the rain roll down thick, cobbled windows. The whole mission was in the chapel anticipating the instruction we would receive from Elder L. Tom Perry, who had recently been assigned as the president of the European Central Area.

After the opening hymn and prayer, Elder Perry stood to address us. He did not use the microphone, but walked off the dais and stood in front of the sister missionaries in the first row. There was a short pause while he gathered himself, and then, with his typical booming voice, Elder Perry declared his testimony in two simple words: “God lives.”

I do not remember anything else he said that day, but this testimony seemed to pierce my soul to the very center. I remember the power I felt as he said it and I felt my physical frame trembling for several minutes afterward. I had been on my mission for over a year and could cite many instances before and during my service when I had felt the Holy Ghost testify of truth. I had also had many epiphanies as a high school and college student learning math, chemistry, physics, psychology and the arts. The feeling I had on that day surpassed all. I knew in that moment that God was real.

While I cannot pretend to give you the same experience here today, I can share my testimony that I know God lives. He organizes and governs all things in the universe. He knows all things, has all power, and is present in all places through His Spirit. He sees every sparrow that falls, knows every secret and wills the creation of stars, planets and solar systems. He lends each breath to all living things. All of time-- past, present, and future-- is laid before Him, yet he is not subject to our time or our timing. He is eternal, immutable and divine. We worship him as Elohim, a Hebrew name meaning the gods, but he prefers that we call him Father.

One of the great assignments of our lives is to come to know our Heavenly Father as he really is. During his great intercessory prayer on our behalf, the Savior lamented: “O righteous Father, the world hath not known thee… And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou has sent” (John 17:25, 3).

Indeed, the world has not known Him. The Lakota tribes of North and South Dakota worshipped a “Great Spirit” they called Wankan Tanka, which means, “the Great Mystery”. Christian cultures are not any more clued in, often describing God with contradictions and portraying him in art and film as some variety of glowing orb, floating mist or unseen voice. Many people today are like those Paul found in Greece ignorantly worshipping at the altar of an "unknown God" (Acts 17:23).

This is not because God is hidden or hard to find. There is a great deal we can learn about God in the scriptures and the teachings of modern prophets. I will share some of those things here; but whatever we know about God, we really get to know Him by revelation as we draw near through prayer, serve his children on this earth, and diligently keep his commandments.

In other words, our personal relationship with our Heavenly Father, like any other relationship, requires our time and our attention. We should speak often with him, trust and rely on him and seek with a grateful heart to see his hand in our lives each day. Our testimonies will grow in proportion to our faith and our obedience; and if we look with sufficient faith, we’ll find that our eyes can be opened to see how He is in the details of our lives each and every day.

Now, with that introduction, I’d like to turn to the question suggested by Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. Who is the only true God, our Heavenly Father, and what is he really like?

Think for a moment about your idea of the perfect father. You may think of many traits your own fathers or grandfathers exhibited, or some things may be different, but I’d bet most of us are thinking of a lot of the same things. Let’s start simple and build up: he would be a man. He would be strong from hard work, but gentle with those he loves. He would love his children more than the whole world. He would respect women, especially his wife. He would be a man of faith and integrity. He would protect and provide for his family. He would teach his children discipline and help them to succeed. He would teach them how to be healthy and happy.

I have probably missed a few important things, but we’re well on our way to the point you know is coming.

Our Father in Heaven is an exalted man, separate and distinct from His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost who shares his influence. He has a body of flesh and bone just as we do (D&C 130:22). We look like him. He has a personality. He has feelings and emotions. He experiences great sorrow when his children suffer, when they sin, and when they commit horrific acts against one another. He also knows the thrill of watching his children overcome a difficult challenge or take a significant step in their journey back to him. Though he cannot always be physically with us, he loves it when we call.

Much of the world assumes that God has always been perfect; he has always been a god. We know that our Heavenly Father experienced mortality much as we do now and that he grew from grace to grace as we are are attempting to do. President Lorenzo Snow wrote the couplet, “As man now is, God once was: As God now is, man may be.”

Through eons of experience and hard work, our Heavenly Father has completed his development, so we say that he is perfect. He is perfect in his knowledge and power, but he is also perfect in his compassion, his empathy and his love for each of us. He understands what we are experiencing and he encourages us to continue in our development until we are complete. “Be ye therefore perfect,” the scriptures direct, “even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:48).

Many in the world see God as harsh and vengeful. Martin Luther taught that “those who see God as angry do not see him rightly”. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved” (John 3:16-17).

“For I am persuaded,” Paul wrote, “that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God” (Romans 8:38-39). Nephi wrote that the love of God, “sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; wherefore, it is the most desirable above all things… and the most joyous to the soul” (1 Nephi 11:22-23).

You and I are literally children of God. “And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together” (Romans 8). Our Father in Heaven offers us all he has because he loves us more than the whole world.

Our Father in Heaven is not a respecter of persons. He’s not impressed by the color of your skin or the country where you were born or the job that you have or wealth you have accumulated. His commandments are in effect for those with busy schedules, those who are lonely, those who are ignorant and those who are proud. Every soul, regardless of their status or circumstance, is of great worth to him-- worth his time, worth his effort, and worth his love.

The love of God includes a profound respect for women. He does not allow us to make our Heavenly Mother a profanity and he warns against abuse of spouse or offspring with the most serious language. He has placed women in some of the most crucial roles in the plan of salvation and trusts them to nurture and prepare each generation.

One of my favorite quotes from Karl G. Maeser, considered the founder of what became BYU, is his explanation of honor. “I have been asked what I mean by ‘word of honor’”, he said. “I will tell you. Place me behind prison walls--walls of stone ever so high, ever so thick, reaching ever so far into the ground-- there is a possibility that in some way or another I may escape; but stand me on the floor and draw a chalk line around me and have me give my word of honor never to cross it. Can I get out of the circle? No. Never! I’d die first!"

Likewise, our Heavenly Father commits with his word of honor that he is bound to keep his promises when we keep his commandments. It may seem a little obvious to say that God is a man of integrity, but it is crucial to understand if we are to trust him and trust is essential to walking the path toward eternal life. God keeps every promise. He always does what he says he will do.

One of the promises God has made to each of us is that he will pour out the blessings of heaven when we pay our tithing. My wife and I put this to the test when I completed graduate school and we moved for an entry-level job in Virginia. We had two kids, no contacts, a lot of debt and not very much income.

I don’t remember a specific instance when we got a check for exactly the amount we needed or found the food we couldn’t buy on our doorstep; but I do remember that our clothes seemed to last forever. As our kids grew, and we added one more, someone was always looking to donate the size we needed. Our car never broke down. The five dollar pizzas at Little Ceasars tasted amazing. Though we were living in a small house with a possum in the crawl space, life seemed abundant and we came to know our Heavenly Father better as we earnestly prayed for him to help us provide for our family’s needs.

I testify that your Father, who is in heaven, knows the things that you need. “Therefore,” the Savior taught, “Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are you not much better than they?...”

“And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you?... But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:25-26, 28-30, 33).

In addition to providing for our physical needs, our Heavenly Father is anxious to teach us how to be successful and happy. Consider for a moment what you would do if Bill Gates approached you with an offer you couldn’t refuse. Pretend for a moment that the email and the Facebook scams we’ve all seen are true. Bill Gates does want to make you a millionaire or billionaire, and here’s the deal: he’s going to give you the strategy to get there and if you can try pretty hard at it and show some persistence, he will give you the capital to make it the rest of the way. Would you do it?

God has achieved more than any of us can imagine. Even Bill Gates’ money is no object for him. Worldly strength and power are insignificant by comparison. His lifestyle and his joy are the ultimate rewards of eternity. He has cornered the market on peace and happiness; these are his currency. Yet, none of this is proprietary information. Like every good parent, he has given us commandments to protect us and help us learn and grow. He has laid out the path to follow and offers to share everything freely with anyone willing to accept his invitation. We agree to try through five saving ordinances: baptism, confirmation, ordination, endowment and sealing. Lest we fear failure, he has ensured our success within the scope of our agreement; he will provide all that we cannot so long as we sincerely try. He provided a Savior to show us how this was to be done.

Sometimes as we try to follow in our elder brother’s footsteps, course corrections are needed. Paul explained:

“For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?... Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For… he [chastens us] for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness” (Hebrews 12:6-7, 9-10).

While God loves all of his children, status quo is not his goal. Rather, he is focused on maximizing our potential. He has retired from whatever profession he may have once had, he’s seen what there is to see and there are no distractions to pull him away from the work of helping you and I, his family, succeed. His ways and his timing are often different from our own, but he is keenly interested in this work and wants each of us to be wildly successful as he measures it: in joy, in peace, in love and in faith. He will not take away our agency, but he gently guides us toward decisions that will ultimately lead us to our rightful places as heirs of his kingdom.

If you will remember what you thought was an ideal father, I think you’ll find we’ve discussed many of the core attributes of that ideal in the last several minutes. Each of us has a Father in Heaven who has known us for eons of time. He has walked the path we walk, appreciates our differences and sees the potential we all have to become like him. He is our biggest fan, our protector and provider, our mentor, our counselor, our teacher, our friend, our companion and our parent. He loves each of us more than the whole world.

Elder Bruce R. McConkie taught, “It is one thing to know about God and another to know him. We know about him when we learn that he is a personal being in whose image man is created; when we learn that the Son is in the express image of his Father’s person; when we learn that both the Father and the Son possess certain specified attributes and powers. But we know them, in the sense of gaining eternal life, when we enjoy and experience the same things they do. To know God is to think what he thinks, to feel what he feels, to have the power he possesses, to comprehend the truths he understands, and to do what he does. Those who know God become like him, and have his kind of life, which is eternal life” (Doctrinal New Testament Commentary, 3 vols. [1965-73], 1:762).

I have come to know God as I have seen his influence in my life during and since my mission in Frankfurt, Germany. He has helped me find peace when all was lost, share my testimony when I couldn’t find the words, repent when I have fallen short and learn truth when I did not know the way. He has shown me what it is to be father. He has provided for my family and brought joy into our home. So it is with confidence and admiration and love and joy that I can share my testimony that God lives.

The Strength of Unity

Prepared as a Sacrament Meeting talk and given on July 15, 2018

Last summer included one of the unique experiences of my life. While the Detwiler Fire was becoming the largest wildfire in our county’s history—burning more than 80,000 acres and taking 74 homes-- I was stationed in the Emergency Operations Center. The Emergency Operations Center does everything except respond to a disaster. This is where a limited number of staff are making sure firefighters are fed, disabled residents are getting help to evacuate and recovery efforts are underway from the first day. It is a government operation, so you have to expect a few acronyms are involved—we call it the EOC for short.

A couple of things made working in the EOC a unique experience. First, normal organizational hierarchy is suspended. There are no bosses or subordinates in a traditional sense and it doesn’t matter what you do in your day job or where you normally do it. There’s no time for drama or office politics. Each person has an assignment and everyone depends on everyone else to get the job done.

Normal organizational rules are also suspended. For two weeks, it didn’t take committee deliberations and public meetings to make a decision. I didn’t receive a single request to meet with a union before work could continue. The EOC is authorized to do what needs to be done. Fortunately or unfortunately, doing what needs to be done also tends to include very long hours without many opportunities to take a break or slow the pace. In fact, one of the assignments is for someone to get food for the rest of the EOC staff so they can keep working.

Now, perhaps some of you are thinking that casual relationships and loose rules are no way to run an operation. And much of the time, I might agree with you. But I also observed some behavior that taught me a great deal about the principle I’ve been asked to discuss today. I’ll share three quick anecdotes.

On the morning of the second day, it was becoming clear that we would need more staff in the EOC to support the more than 5,000 firefighters that had arrived or were on their way. I texted the department directors and asked for five volunteer clerical staff to work 12-hour shifts in the EOC with no mention of overtime. In less than five minutes, I had seven volunteers on the way.

A few days into the fire, I noticed that one of the department directors assigned to the EOC was smiling more than usual. When I asked about it later, I was told that they had been so bogged down with administrative duties that they felt like they had almost forgotten why they entered public service in the first place. Though a tragic event, the opportunity to directly serve the people of our county was rekindling all of the positive feelings that drove them to public service in the first place. They felt privileged to be doing something that would make a positive difference for their community.

Shortly after we returned to normal operations, one of the EOC staff who responded that second day related to me what a positive experience they had. They told me that working for the County had always just been a job before, but now they wanted to make a career in public service. This employee enrolled in an online bachelor’s program shortly thereafter and is already making plans for a master’s degree when that is done.

These experiences, and dozens more like them, left me with a question. What is it about two weeks of casual work relationships and loose rules that makes seven people drop everything, an accomplished director love their job again and an already stellar employee recognize there’s even more they could be doing? A year later, almost to the day, why is the EOC still the most mentioned positive experience when I ask my team about their work?

As I’ve asked these questions, many of those that participated in that EOC echo the words of one of our Founding Fathers, Thomas Paine, who wrote that it is “not in numbers but in unity that our great strength lies.”

In the days of the prophet Enoch, the city of Zion was unbeatable. The scriptures record that “so great was the faith of Enoch” that he used earthquakes, moved rivers and mountains and called lions out of the wilderness to fight their battles for them. The enemies of Zion, including the giants upon the land in those days, were so intimidated by the strength and glory of Zion that they scrambled away to a newly-formed island where they hoped they would be safe.

And how does the Lord describe the people of Zion? As ferocious? Of superior education or training regimen, perhaps? Or as a peaceful, giving and united people? “And the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; and there was no poor among them… and lo, Zion, in process of time, was taken up into heaven. And the Lord said unto Enoch: Behold mine abode forever” (Moses 7:18, 21).

The Lord wants each of us to enjoy great strength and so he commands that we be One in at least four different ways: one with ourselves, one with our spouses, one with Him, and one with our fellow Saints. Each of these is important for our salvation.

First, we must be one with ourselves. The people of Enoch were “of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness.” The Lord has warned that we “cannot serve God and mammon” and that he spews out the lukewarm because it is neither hot nor cold.

I recently read an interview of Wendell Berry, who is a farmer, poet, novelist and a sort of philosopher of the land. He was asked in the interview if farming was more of an art or a science. He replied, “To farm you have to know, which is science, and you have to do, which is art. In practice,” he continued, “it is impossible to draw a straight or firm line between knowing and doing. When this line is drawn… it is at best tentative and suppositional, at worst false.”

None of us would imagine that we could stop watering or weeding our gardens and get the same results. It seems too obvious to say that we cannot enjoy the fruits of our labor, literal or metaphorical, if we skip planting or harvesting. We understand quite clearly that what we know and what we do must be in sync for our garden to be successful. Yet, somehow, we don’t always seem to understand that it is the same with what we know is right and how we live our lives. Life, like farming, is a good deal of art and a good deal of science with no clear lines between the two.

The polarity and union of knowing and doing shapes our lives and our challenges. For example, sometimes we get comfortable coming to church and listening to those who have been assigned to teach us for the day. We come to expect inspiring messages and maybe a list of what we should know or what we can do; but reading a list about what we can do is not doing, so when we approach our church meetings in this way we relegate ourselves to passivity. We can come to church every week and still be little more than observers—and we can learn very little this way.

The opposite of passive observance is active participation. What the observer appreciates as valuable concepts and ideas, the participant understands as a call to action. The Lord has designed his Church as a place of activity: we sing the hymns together as “songs of the heart” (D&C 25:12), we “teach one another words of wisdom” (D&C 88:118), we volunteer for assignments and magnify the callings we are asked to perform. On occasion we have a reason to practice forgiving someone who has offended us or serving someone who needs our help. Approaching our time in church as a time of giving, rather than receiving only, not only increases our learning, but it also affects our integrity.

Integrity is “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles,” but the second definition is “the state of being whole or undivided” including “the condition of being unified, unimpaired, or sound in construction”. We are whole or undivided with ourselves when there is high fidelity between the person we know we should be and the person that we are because our knowledge of what we should be doing is consistent with what we do—or, in other words, when we are honest with others and ourselves about who we really are.

Interestingly, this is similar to a definition of the word, “perfect,” which is to be “complete, finished, or fully developed.” I submit that one way we can heed the Lord’s call to “be ye therefore perfect” (Matt. 5:48) is to be true to the person we really are, a son or daughter of the Most High God with courage to do the things we know we should. Because we cannot really give what is not real, personal integrity, or what we might also call “strength of character” or “unity of self” is prerequisite to dedication to the Lord, fidelity to our spouse and unity with others.

Next, unity with our spouse. In Matthew 19, the Pharisees attempt to trick the Savior into verbal support for no-fault divorce. “Is it lawful,” they asked, “for a man to put away his wife for every cause?” (v. 3)

Jesus answered, “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (v. 4-6).

The unity of a married couple is recognized in our temporal law as well. When my wife and I were married, she had recently graduated from BYU. She had a full-time job teaching at a nearby elementary school, a newer car, a rented duplex and no school debts. I, on the other hand, was just starting my sophomore year of college. I had no car, I was sleeping on a buddy’s couch and since I didn’t have a fancy scholarship I had already racked up over $10,000 in student loans.

On the day we were married, we were no longer separate individuals in the eyes of the law. We became one unit: a single family. I was now the proud owner of a little white Hyundai; and with my name, My wife also received responsibility for my school loans. This is another reason why you should always date people who are smarter than you.

The same thing happens to us on the day we step into the waters of baptism. When we are baptized, we covenant with the Lord that we will always be willing to keep his commandments, remember him and take his name upon us. We take his name upon ourselves as a bride takes the name of her groom. So long as we keep that covenant, the laws of eternity recognize we who have sinned as a single entity with our Savior, who died and rose again the third day as a part of His infinite and eternal atonement. Through our baptismal covenant and the boundless grace of God, our debt of sin can be wiped out by the wealth of his grace. Each of us can be declared perfect as a consequence of our unity with our perfect Savior, making us joint-heirs with Christ of all the Father has (Romans 8:17).

Finally, the Lord commands us to be one with each other. This, of course, makes perfect sense in light of the unity introduced by the baptismal covenant. If I am bound to Christ by virtue of my baptismal covenant and you are as well by yours, then you and I are bound to each other. As Paul wrote to the Ephesians, when we are baptized we are “no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God” (Ephesians 2:19).

In the household of God, we are charged with being of one heart and one mind, dwelling in righteousness with no poor among us. We teach each other the peaceable things of the kingdom and pray to know the Lord’s will individually and collectively. A slight against another is a slight against ourselves, particularly if our offense breaks the covenant we have made. We may choose to cut ourselves off, but we cannot choose who else is in the household of God.

Likewise, service to one another is only service to our God. Such service is for our own benefit and has a multiplier effect as those we serve are strengthened, our capacity grows and the household is enhanced more than the sum of the two. No wonder the Lord would ask us now to improve our efforts to minister to one another.

Each of us brings our own gifts to the household of God. The Lord taught Joseph Smith that these gifts “are given for the benefit of those who love me and keep all my commandments, and him that seeketh so to do… And again, verily I say unto you, I would that ye should always remember, and always retain in your minds what those gifts are, that are given unto the church. For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God. To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby” (D&C 46:9-12).

Unity in each of these covenant relationships—with ourselves, with our spouse, with God and with each other—are of the upmost importance to the Lord. Each of the ten commandments address these relationships. The third commandment, “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain,” refers not only to our language, but also prohibits wasting or abandoning the strength that comes through the baptismal covenant, for example.

In many respects, a life in the household of God is a lot like what I experienced in the EOC. The staff of the EOC was unified and motivated by an urgent need to help our community; the household of God is united by the urgent need to save all mankind. Worldly status is irrelevant here—we are all equal in the sight of God. Worldly excuses are also of no use here—none of us are too old or too inadequate or too busy-- each of us has gifts that are given for the benefit of all.

When we live with integrity, being true to our real and divine identities, we will recognize that this is the greatest cause there ever was. We will prioritize service to others and be willing to drop everything to help them. Our service will bring us joy and help us smile a little more even in the worst of times. And we will undoubtedly find that there is more we can be doing, more purpose for our lives and more blessings available to us than we are currently experiencing.

Why Bad Things Happen to Good People

One of the axioms of life is that it isn't fair. Sometimes the most generous, good people seem to have the most struggles and people we consider lazy, criminal or no-good seem to have it easy. Life's not fair--at least on the surface-- and that creates a special sort of dilemma for the faithful. It has many variations, but it is typically expressed like this: If there is a just God, and he really, truly loves us and wants us to return to live with him, why is life so hard? Or, why do so many bad things happen to good people?

For some, life's perceived unfairness can fuel doubts that grow into significant stumbling blocks to their faith. On the other hand, when we seek answers to even our most profound questions through prayer and a study of divinely-appointed sources we find answers that build our faith. The specific answer you or I may need at a particular time will most likely come through the Holy Ghost as we diligently seek to learn God's wisdom; but there are also some general principles that can guide our thoughts.

For example, consider the role of opposition in the lives of the faithful. Prophets like Moses, Nephi, Abraham and Joseph Smith all faced seemingly insurmountable opposition to their righteous efforts. Meanwhile, the Israelites, Nephi's brothers and others seeking the path of least resistance appear to have had less faith but also to have faced less opposition.

Lehi had a comfortable and prosperous life in Jerusalem. Had he ignored the Lord's commandment to go into the wilderness, he would've likely kept his prosperity for a time. He would have avoided the difficult journey across the wilderness and near death experiences when there wasn't food or when the storms threatened his ship. He would not have experienced the anguish of waiting and not knowing when he sent his sons to recover the brass plates from Laban. Perhaps even some of the conflict with Laman and Lemuel would have been entirely avoided had he only decided to do what was more comfortable and convenient.

Without such opposition, it is also very possible that none of us would have ever heard of Lehi. He would have been killed or taken captive by the Assyrians along with thousands of other Jews in Jerusalem, never obtaining the brass plates or making it to the promised land. It was his faith to obey the Lord's voice, knowing it would be a more difficult path, that helped him cross the ocean almost 1600 years before the vikings and provide the foundation for the Book of Mormon. He shared his thoughts on the matter with his son Jacob:

For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my firstborn in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad... It must needs be that there [is] an opposition; even the forbidden fruit in opposition to the tree of life; the one being sweet and the other bitter. Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself. Wherefore, man could not act for himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other (2 Nephi 2:11, 15-16).

Opposition gives us meaningful choices. Those choices always have consequences. Sometimes the bad things (and good things!) that happen to us or to those we love are simply the natural results of an earlier action. Infidelity or angry outbursts may lead to a painful divorce. One person's dishonesty in the corporate world may lead to sanctions and layoffs that affect thousands of employees. One group's public preference for a particular false doctrine may yield negative consequences for an entire society, including those standing for truth, as that doctrine is adopted in public opinion and policy. And one man's faith in God's commandment to lead his family into the desert can be the beginning of two mighty nations and the restoration of the gospel that has blessed millions.

In the apparent chaos of all our choosing and reaping consequences, there is order. The Lord is in control. He promises, "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it" (1 Corinthians 10:13). And again, "All things will work together for good to them that love God" (Romans 8:28).

How do the hard things in life work together for our good? President John Taylor once explained:

I heard the Prophet Joseph say, in speaking to the Twelve on one occasion: 'You will have all kinds of trials to pass through. And it is quite as necessary for you to be tried as it was for Abraham and other men of God, and (said he) God will feel after you, and He will take hold of you and wrench your very heart strings, and if you cannot stand it you will not be fit for an inheritance in the Celestial Kingdom of God.' ... Joseph Smith never had many months of peace after he received the truth, and finally he was murdered in Carthage jail" (John Taylor, Deseret News: Semi-Weekly, Aug. 21, 1883, p. 1).

The apostle Paul wrote that "we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God" and declared that as many as believed despite opposition were ordained to eternal life (Acts 14:22, 13:48). If the faithful must be tried as Abraham to inherit the Celestial Kingdom, it follows that some of the opposition we face in life may actually be blessings for earlier faithfulness and/or to inspire greater faithfulness. Just as athletes that excel have opportunities to face better competition and employees have more professional development opportunities as they climb the corporate ladder, disciples of Christ experience greater opposition to their faith as they come to know and rely on his teachings and Atonement.

Some of these experiences may be like what President Henry B. Eyring described when he explained how his father's prayers during a losing battle with cancer taught him about the deeply personal relationship between God and His children:

When the pain became intense, we found him in the morning on his knees by the bed. He had been too weak to get back into bed. He told us that he had been praying to ask Heavenly Father why he had to suffer so much when he had always tried to be good. He said a kindly answer came: 'God needs brave sons.'

And so he soldiered on to the end, trusting that God loved him, listened to him, and would lift him up. He was blessed to have known early and to never forget that a loving God is as close as a prayer ("Families and Prayer," Ensign or Liahona, Sept. 2015, 4).

Elder Eyring's dad had served others as a professor and priesthood leader most of his life, yet there was a valuable lesson for him about God's love that he could only learn through a difficult life experience of his own. That experience enhanced his prayers, reaffirmed and enriched his knowledge of who he was and God's love for him, and gave him the courage to face the end of his life.

Speaking of a man who was born blind, the Savior taught, "Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but [he was born blind] that the works of God should be manifest in him" (John 9:3). This hardship was not the result of anyone's prior action but was given as a gift to inspire sufficient faith to lead the blind man and those around him to salvation.

Other times, the hardships we see others facing may be as much about teaching us to serve as they are about opposition for those involved. Elder Robert D. Hales has taught:

As the Savior's latter-day disciples, we come unto Him by loving and serving God's children. As we do, we may not be able to avoid tribulation, affliction, and suffering in the flesh, but we will suffer less spiritually. Even in our trials we can experience joy and peace...

As we follow Jesus Christ, His love motivates us to support each other on our mortal journey. We cannot do it alone. You have heard me share the Quaker proverb before: Thee lift me, I'll lift thee, and we'll ascend together eternally. As disciples, we begin to do this when we are baptized, showing our willingness to 'bear one another's burdens, that they may be light' (October 2016).

It is often said that one of the primary purposes in life is to be tested and tried. That is true, of course, but this phrase is also often misconstrued to mean that God will throw curveballs just to see if he can strike us out. God is "perfect, has all power, and knows all things" ("God the Father", Gospel Topics). He has a perfect love for each of us. He already knows what we would do in a given situation and he has no interest in embarrassing us unnecessarily; rather, his work and glory is to mold and refine us until we are prepared to inherit all that he has.

Each of us has known someone who has tried our patience. Perhaps it was a coworker, another driver on the freeway or one of our children. When we say that our patience has been tried, usually we mean it has been pushed to or even slightly beyond its normal limits. We may feel in those exasperating moments that we don't have any patience at all, but more often than not we have been even more patient than we normally consider ourselves capable and we are feeling the effects of being stretched to something more than what we were before. This is how the Lord tries us and makes us better.

There is a story by an anonymous author about a group of women studying the Book of Malachi in Bible study that illustrates how the Lord uses opposition in our lives. As they read in chapter three, verse three, they read: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." This verse puzzled the women and they wondered what the statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out about the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible study. That week, the woman called up a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She watched as the silversmith held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that, in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest so as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot - then she thought again about the verse: He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver. She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left even a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's the easy part-- when I see my image reflected in it."

Speaking to an audience of missionaries, Elder Holland taught:

I am convinced that [a disciple's life] is not easy because salvation is not a cheap experience. Salvation never was easy. We are the Church of Jesus Christ, this is the truth, and He is our Great Eternal Head. How could we believe it would be easy for us when it was never, ever easy for Him? It seems to me that [we] have to spend at least a few moments in Gethsemane. [We] have to take at least a step or two toward the summit of Calvary.

Now, please don't misunderstand. I'm not talking about anything anywhere near what Christ experienced. That would be presumptuous and sacreligious. But I believe that [all of us], to come to the truth, to come to salvation, to know something of this price that has been paid, will have to pay a token of that same price.

For that reason I don't believe [a disciple's life] has ever been easy, nor that conversion is, ... nor that continued faithfulness is. I believe it is supposed to require some effort, something from the depths of our soul ("Missionary Work and the Atonement", Provo MTC, 20 June 2000).

Life is hard because it is supposed to change who we are. Bad things happen to good people, at least some of the time, because they are ready to be put in the fire and refined into someone who reflects the image of our Savior in their countenance. They are ready to take a step or two toward the summit of Calvary and an eternal life in the Celestial Kingdom of God.

The real question then isn't why life is hard, but how we are responding to the opposition in our lives. Are we willing to give up all that we have to walk the more difficult path of a true disciple? When we are in the midst of the flames, are we willing to trust that the silversmith knows better than the silver when it has been refined?

Like Elder Eyring's father, we can get the answers we need in a difficult time through prayer and the Holy Ghost. As we come to realize that many of the hard things in our lives are actually blessings to try us, refine us and qualify us to have a seat next to Moses and Nephi in the presence of God, it becomes increasingly clear that God is in control, he is our perfect judge, and unfair as it may be, all things work together for good to them that love God.

The Psychology of Gratitude

In 1943, Psychological Review magazine published Abraham Maslow's, "A Theory of Human Motivation". In an era when psychology focused on the mentally ill, Maslow had studied exemplary individuals like Albert Einstein, Frederick Douglass and Eleanor Roosevelt to explain what is now well known around the world as the hierarchy of human needs.

You have almost certainly heard of Maslow's Needs, but in essence, Maslow suggested that each of us have certain needs that must be met for us to be at our best. Our needs range from the most basic, like eating and breathing, to those with more complexity and depth like confidence, love and achievement. As we develop and grow, each tier of needs can be a stepping stone or an obstacle to our progress. The love of our friends and family can help us develop the confidence to solve difficult problems; but on the other hand we may struggle a great deal to be creative if we are hungry, worried about finances or arguing with a family member.

There are many gospel lessons wrapped into this small pyramid. We can easily see the wisdom of prophetic counsel to keep food storage on hand, the importance of self-reliance and the essential role family relationships play in our lives. The pyramid helps explain how our fast offerings and charitable donations can not only get a family through a difficult financial situation but also improve their family relationships and put individuals in a better state to commune with God.  It shows the downward spiral of addictions and vice; the damage we do to ourselves when we are angry with others; and the incalculable returns of faith as acceptance of facts even when we do not yet understand them, repentance as a way of correcting and improving our course in life and kindness toward others as a life philosophy.

Most of us tend to do a quick evaluation of our own lives when we review Maslow's pyramid. We all move up and down the hierarchy throughout the day and over weeks and months and years, but almost always we find an opportunity or two in our review that we are sure we can address to improve our productivity and enjoy greater life satisfaction. Wherever we find ourselves on the pyramid, there is one principle that can always lift us up.

In his book, The Magician's Nephew, C.S. Lewis wrote, "What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are." In other words, the reality we experience depends a great deal on how we perceive it. And, by the same token, our perceptions will be informed by who we are and what we desire from our experiences.

The happiest person I've ever known was my maternal grandmother. Grandma grew up in the deserts of eastern Utah during the depression years of the 1930s. She served at Fort Douglas in World War II then married my grandfather, a teacher, with whom she raised a family of eight children. Grandma lost a teenage son to cancer, gave countless hours in church and community service, and spent the last several years of her life selflessly caring for a husband with dementia even while her own health declined.

Despite all she had been through, I seldom saw Grandma when she wasn't quick to share a warm smile and make others laugh with her subtle, dry sense of humor. She had a sharp mind, enjoyed helping others be their best, and could tell from the kitchen if I was slouching while practicing on the living room piano. She was a talented pianist herself and enjoyed writing short stories and poetry. Grandma refused to say a negative word and would often rebut the unpleasant remarks of others with a simple exclamation of, "Oh, well!" Everyone who knew my grandma knew that "Oh, well!" meant that Grandma was about to turn the conversation in a more positive and uplifting direction.

Grandma seemed to spend most of her time near the top of Maslow's hierarchy, but her experience is hardly unique. Missionaries, researchers and world travelers report finding the happiest people are often those in the most humble circumstances or with the most incredible challenges. This seems counter-intuitive to us because the prevailing social theory has long been that happiness follows success.

The trouble is, if happiness is on the other side of success, we end up spending all of our time pushing happiness farther and farther away while we pursue the next fleeting success. When we do well in school, we expect to do better the next time. When we get a good job, we start "climbing the ladder" for a better one. We make money and only end up wanting more than we have. Ultimately, of course, we never get to "success", at least not for long, so we continue to push until happiness eventually disappears beyond the cognitive horizon and there's nothing we can do to actually achieve happiness.

Instead of refuting Maslow's theory, the humble but happy around the world provide an important insight: they remind us that the satisfaction of each tier of needs, in terms of our ultimate happiness and productivity, depends only on our perception of their fulfillment. When we put happiness on the other side of arbitrary successes, we allow our own covetousness to tint our perception so that our needs are never met and we slide down the pyramid. This is why so many "successful" celebrities spend so much time on the bottom half of the pyramid. On the other hand, when we are sincerely grateful and can see the bounty of what we have, we can move up the hierarchy because we are satisfied even when we may not have as much.

The Lord taught: "He who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more" (D&C 78:19). Grandma wasn't happy because she was successful; she was successful because she was happy and she was happy because she was grateful. Like other attributes, gratitude grows as it is practiced. As we learn to see the good in our lives-- to view the pyramid of Maslow's needs and count our blessings rather that looking only for what needs to be fixed-- we will find the Lord has already given us all we need to rise to the top of the pyramid if we will only be grateful enough to see it.

Later in his life, Maslow returned to his hierarchy with this final insight: "The most fortunate are those who have a wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder and even ecstasy."

Modest is Hottest: Modesty About More Than Clothes

A decade ago I worked at a swimming pool supply store with a good friend. Winters and cloudy days could be slow for business, which for us meant we had time to grab a pizza and talk about whatever came up. Most of those conversations turned to sports, politics or the gospel.

In one discussion, which probably started with my married friend asking me how the dating scene was going, we drifted somehow into a discussion of women's fashion. More specifically, we both agreed that the way a girl dressed changed how we thought about them. Though sexy styles that showed off a lot of a girl's body seemed fun and could get our hormones on high alert, somehow the girls that were fashionable but covered were cuter, more confident, deeper, and more mature.

What we recognized from our experiences was confirmed in a 2009 study conducted by Susan Fiske at Princeton University. Perhaps too briefly summarized, Fiske used brain scans to effectively show that men use the 'tools' part of their brains when they see scantily clad women. She concluded that women that show a lot of their bodies are seen more as objects to be used in the male brain, rather than a person to relate with and connect to emotionally. Fiske's study did not make value judgments or comment on how this reaction in the male brain may be influenced by genetics versus environment, but her revelation on the mental objectification of women has inspired both renewed calls for modesty and at least one emphatic rebuttal that have received significant media coverage for an issue of that has taken so many turns in the spotlight over the last hundred years and more.

The gospel of Jesus Christ does have something to say in the discussion on modesty-- and it may not be what you think you've heard before. As modesty critics have said, the gospel teaches that each of us has our agency (2 Nephi 2:27) and 'men [and women] will be punished for their own sins' (Articles of Faith 1:2). Men are responsible for their own thoughts and actions; a woman's dress (or lack thereof) does not justify inappropriate thoughts or behavior whatsoever.

That hardly lets women off the hook, however. Paul taught the Romans that there should, 'no man [or woman] put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's [or sister's] way' (Romans 14:13). He gave the example to the people of Corinth that 'if meat causes my brother to stumble, I will eat no flesh while the world standeth, lest I make my brother falter' (1 Corinthians 8:13).

At the end of the day, the secular battle over modesty misses the point. Modesty isn't just about how we dress, it is an attitude of humility and decency that applies equally to men and women. It is a willingness to 'glorify God in your body, and in your spirit' rather than seeking undue attention to yourself (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). It applies to how we dress, how we groom ourselves, the language we use and the choices we make about how we will act.

For every lesson we have about women's clothes, there is a lesson to be taught about men shaving and keeping their hair trimmed, a point to be made about the size of our homes or volumes of our vehicles, and still more we should learn about using positive, uplifting language that brings happiness to those around you. Our efforts to be modest will be reflected in our outward appearance and actions, leading to increased guidance and comfort from the Holy Ghost. Extreme or inappropriate behavior in any aspect of our lives, including our thoughts, impairs our ability to receive those quiet promptings.

Modesty is something that we are in our hearts before it is reflected in our appearance. Elder Packer has taught that 'true doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior. The study of the doctrines of the Gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior. Preoccupation with unworthy behavior can lead to unworthy behavior. That is why we stress so forcefully the study of the doctrines of the Gospel' (CR, October 1986, p. 20). An attitude that is selfless, grateful and modest is one of the natural consequences of frequent gospel study and coming closer to our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. It is an indication of a broken heart and contrite spirit, a clue that we are becoming not just convinced but also converted to the gospel. If we are modest in our hearts things that are immodest will lose their appeal. We will find ourselves drawn to modest homes, modest fashions, and modest behaviors.

Our bodies are sacred gifts from our Heavenly Father. They are created in His image. Paul taught that they are temples for our spirits and of the Holy Ghost, which we have of God... 'For [we] are bought with a price [through the Atonement of Christ]; therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's' (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). We are not our own, nor have we the right, regardless of our gender, to covet a body that is not ours nor entice others with something that is only God's to give.

Respect for ourselves, and others' respect for us, begins with modesty. Modesty is anchored in a knowledge of our divine heritage. It endures as we keep the Lord's law of chastity, including chastity in the thoughts and desires of our hearts, and as we strive to have virtue and humility in our conversation and appearance. It is required of men and women alike, and it rewards us with happier lives and a more constant companionship of the Holy Ghost.

Going on ten years since my conversation in the pool supply store, I'm grateful to have met and married a modest woman. She is gorgeous and challenges me to be a little better every day. More often than not I'm the one that is too lazy or sloppy to shave or get out of my sweat pants. The chance to study and write about modesty has encouraged my own efforts to be well groomed,  use uplifting language and respect the divinity in myself and those around me with my thoughts and actions. I know the Lord will expand my ability to have joy and communion with his Spirit as I become consistent in my efforts. He keeps all His promises.

For more on the Church's teachings about modesty, including more specific guidelines for dress and grooming, follow these links to True to the Faith and For the Strength of Youth.

Trusting as a Little Child

Sometimes we watch little children and wish we could be as carefree as they so often seem to be. We say things like, "Boy, it would be great to be three again!" Or five again or eight again. However many years it has been since our childhood and however distant those feelings may seem, we can regain a childlike perspective on life as we strive to build our faith in God.

The stripling warriors followed Helaman into battle against seemingly insurmountable odds. As teenagers and young adults they were old enough to doubt and independent enough to choose for themselves. Yet, leaning on the confidence and teachings of their mothers, they put their trust in God.

The rest of the story is history. Through two major battles against an innumerable army of Lamanites, and despite many serious injuries, none of these inexperienced young warriors died on the battlefield.

And now, their preservation was astonishing to our whole army, yea, that they should be spared while there was a thousand of our brethren who were slain. And we do justly ascribe it to the miraculous power of God, because of their exceeding faith in that which they had been taught to believe--that there was a just God, and whosoever did not doubt, that they should be preserved by his marvelous power. Now this was the faith of these of whom I have spoken; they are young, and their minds are firm, and they do put their trust in God continually (Alma 57:26-27).

Helaman wrote to Moroni that the stripling warriors had many serious challenges, 'nevertheless they stand fast in that liberty wherewith God has made them free; and they are strict to remember the Lord their God from day to day; yea, they do observe to keep his statutes, and his judgements, and his commandments continually; and their faith is strong in the prophecies concerning that which is to come' (Alma 58:40).

Young children are carefree because they trust perfectly in their imperfect parents to care for them and their needs. The stripling warriors were firm and undaunted in the face of trial because they trusted in God. We are taught to learn to trust our perfect Heavenly Father as the stripling warriors did and as our children put their trust in us. As we have the courage to put our trust in Him, our souls will find the peace and confidence we so often envy in our little children.