The Importance of Rest in the Savior's Ministry

"Come Unto Me and I Will Give You Rest" by Yongsung Kim

We live in a busy time of the world. It is easy to be overwhelmed with work assignments, church callings, family responsibilities, and the unending to-do lists that accompany our lives. The gospel of Jesus Christ teaches that we should both "be anxiously engaged in a good cause... [doing] many things of [our] own free will" (D&C 58:27) and "not run faster or labor more than [we] have strength and means provided" (D&C 10:4). While these principles appear to be in conflict, we can learn how to apply both approaches in our lives as we study the example of Jesus Christ.

It is fair to say that Jesus had a few things on his to-do list. He was a teacher, missionary, and ecclesiastical leader called to preach the pure gospel to large multitudes and hard-hearted government leaders. He was training and preparing a group of mostly fishermen to lead an organization that would stretch from Italy to Israel and beyond. He sought to do His Father's will, inspire the faith of the Jewish nation, and live so that he could be the promised savior when the time came. Amid the hustle, he was also part of a family, had relationships with several friends, served the poor and needy, and participated in the traditions of his people. Jesus understands what it is like to be busy and to juggle priorities that are all important.

Yet, the Lord of the Sabbath, who rested on the seventh day of creation, also frequently withdrew from the busy-ness of life to rest, prepare for what was ahead, spend quality time with loved ones, and commune with our Heavenly Father. He understood what sounds obvious: that we get more strength through appropriate rest.

At the beginning of his ministry, Jesus "was led up of the Spirit, into the wilderness, to be with God" (JST Matthew 4:1). There he fasted for forty days, a number that is symbolic in Hebrew culture for a period of preparation. After he had fasted and communed with God, he returned to normal life and the temptations and challenges it brings. Jesus was tempted by the devil himself, but he was prepared to withstand all of the buffetings of Satan and command him to depart.

Jesus returned from the wilderness and taught in Galilee, Nazareth, and Capernaum. He cast out devils and healed many people of a variety of inflictions. The scriptures do not say exactly how much time passed from the start of his ministry to an evening in Capernaum when he healed all who would come to him, but we're in the same chapter when we read that Christ then "departed and went into a solitary place" (Luke 4:42).

Christ taught again in the synagogues in Galilee and was teaching a group of people on the banks of the Sea of Galilee when he found Peter, James, and John and filled their nets with fish. They went with Jesus to Capernaum where he healed a man's leprosy and "great multitudes came together to hear, and to be healed by him of their infirmities. And he withdrew himself into the wilderness and prayed." (Luke 5:15-16).

Jesus returned to his work and healed a man of his paralysis, called Matthew to follow him, and confronted and taught the Pharisees several times. When he provocatively healed a man's withered hand on the Sabbath in front of the Pharisees, they were "filled with madness" (Luke 6:11). "And it came to pass in those days, that he went out into a mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God. And when it was day, he called unto him his disciples: and of them he chose twelve, whom he named apostles" (Luke 6:12-13).

This pattern continues throughout the ministry of Christ: he was present and focused on what needed to be done and then he took time to withdraw and rest. Sometimes he rested for only an afternoon or a long night in prayer; other times he withdrew for a period of several weeks. In each case, his focus was less on protecting himself or his perceived needs and more on building capacity to move forward.

As it is with us, Jesus' plans for rest did not always go as planned. When Jesus heard that John the Baptist had been killed, he got on a boat and left Capernaum to be alone in the wilderness. The multitudes followed him on foot and met him on the opposite shore about five miles from the city. Despite his grief, Christ had patience and compassion for the people and took the time to teach them and miraculously feed five thousand of them with a few loaves of bread. Then he "straightway...constrained" his disciples to leave in the boat and sent the multitudes back to the city.

"And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone" (Matthew 14:22-23). It was from this vantage point that Jesus saw his disciples desperately rowing against the wind and being tossed upon the waves of the sea. Cutting his time to grieve and recharge short, he went down from the mountain and walked about four miles across the sea to get to his struggling followers. Reaching the boat between 3:00 and 6:00 in the morning, Jesus invited Peter onto the water, saved him when his faith wavered, then calmed the storm so they could all return home. There is no indication in scripture that Christ was able to go back to the mountain, but he did the best he could with the time he had and then moved on to other demands for his time.

Mary, Martha, and Lazarus were friends of Jesus in Bethany, also called Bethlehem, about two miles south of Jerusalem. They were close friends and Jesus wept when he heard Lazarus had died (John 11:35). After Jesus publicly brought Lazarus back to life and knew the Jewish rulers were furiously plotting to kill him for it, he escaped to the wilderness of Ephraim about thirteen miles north of Jerusalem. Many scholars believe that he was in the wilderness for at least two weeks.

When he returned from Ephraim on Palm Sunday for the Passover, Christ went around Jerusalem to first reunite with his friends in Bethany. The scriptures don't say exactly why, but it was likely much more than simply checking into his lodging. Mary, Martha, and Lazarus were a source of strength and comfort for Christ throughout his ministry, so it is no surprise that he goes to help when they are in trouble and goes for help when he is in trouble. He would stay with them throughout the most difficult and notable week of his life, walking to and from Jerusalem each day, until his arrest in the Garden of Gethsemane in the dark hours of Thursday evening.

Following the Savior's example, we are taught to be both anxiously engaged and take appropriate time for preparation, rest, and communion with our Father in Heaven. King Benjamin counseled his people to, "See that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man [or woman] should run faster than he [or she] has strength...[But] it is expedient that he [or she] be diligent, that thereby he [or she] might win the prize" (Mosiah 4:27).

We are diligent and build capacity to move forward as we follow Elder David A. Bednar's counsel to, "Identify the two, the three, the four most important priorities in our lives, and then... make sure that each one gets the [time] that it needs." He continues, "Don't spend all of your time trying to achieve this perfect equilibrium because it doesn't exist. Focus on the things that matter most in the moment, and you'll have the Lord's help to be able to juggle and attend to all of those important priorities in your life." 

As we stay close to Him, the Lord will help us attend to our responsibilities. And sometimes, just as the Savior was, we will be "led up of the Spirit" into the wilderness, into the temple, into the strength we can receive among loved ones, and even, as Nephi, into the comforting and loving arms of the Lord who understands what we are experiencing and promises to give us rest (2 Nephi 1:15, Matthew 11:28.

If Thine Eye Offend Thee

In his epic final sermon to his people in ancient America, King Benjamin warned:

I cannot tell you all the things whereby ye may commit sin; for there are divers ways and means, even so many that I cannot number them. But this much I can tell you, that if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish. And now, O man, remember and perish not (Mosiah 4:29-30).

It is easier than ever today to walk, click or even glance our way into situations that tempt us to sin in one way or another. In response, the Lord has taught that we must be proactive in our efforts to prevent or avoid those influences that would lead us into temptation. If thy hand or foot offend thee, he taught, "cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into [eternal] life maimed, than having two hands [or feet] to go into hell" (Mark 9:43, 45). Likewise, "if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire" (Mark 9:47).

Our feet, hands or eyes can offend or betray us if they cause us to stumble, to be lead astray, to sin or to abandon our faith. Of course, Christ was not advocating a policy of amputating first and asking questions later. Rather, he understood that amputation is a procedure reserved for body parts that have become seriously damaged, infected or diseased and could betray the best interests of the body by causing further harm or even death if not removed.

Further insight comes through the Joseph Smith translation of these verses. That text states:

If thy hand offend thee, cut it off; or if thy brother offend thee and confess not and forsake not, he shall be cut off... And again, if thy foot offend thee, cut it off; for he that is thy standard, by whom thou walkest, if he become a transgressor, he shall be cut off... And if thine eye which seeth for thee, him that is appointed to watch over thee to show thee light, become a transgressor and offend thee, pluck him out (JST Mark 9:40, 42, 46).

Each of us must evaluate the people and principles that guide our lives. Do we have a friend or family member that consistently tries to get us to do or accept things we know are contrary to God's commandments? Do we subscribe to a cause or behaviors or a school of thought that may ultimately lead us away from our faith in Christ? Do the leaders we choose to support and follow illuminate the path that will lead us back to our Heavenly Father or do they use illusion to lure us in some other direction?

"It follows," Elder Walter F. Gonzalez has taught, "that such cutting off refers not only to friends but to every bad influence, such as inappropriate television shows, Internet sites, movies, literature, games, or music. Engraving in our souls this principle will help us to resist the temptation to yield to any bad influence ("Today is the Time," Ensign, Nov. 2007, 55).

The Lord's teaching leaves no room for exceptions. He does not say to sever relationships unless it would be awkward or to stop following toxic leaders unless the better leaders don't seem to be popular. As any good physician would, he says clearly and decisively that we should terminate any influence in our lives that may betray the welfare of our souls.

There are diverse ways and means employed today to lead the faithful away from the strength and protection of their faith in the Good Shepherd, but each of us is admonished to be proactive in our efforts to root out spiritual infection and evil influences by the echoes of King Benjamin's words:

If ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish. And now, O man, remember and perish not (Mosiah 4:29-30).

Remember: Amputate those infections influences and perish not.

Happiness and Ancient History

Tutankhamun was about nine years old when he became the Pharaoh of Egypt. During his reign from 1332 - 1323 BC, Egypt prospered by improving trade relations with their neighbors. Then, at age 19, Tutankhamun died suddenly. Scientists do not agree on the cause of death, but historical records indicate that the young king had walked with a cane and may have suffered from epilepsy. The prevailing theory is that Tutankhamun broke his leg, as found in his mummified remains, during an epileptic seizure. When the leg became infected, the already-frail leader was unable to fight the bacteria and ultimately died a premature death.

While we can't be sure of the cause of Tutankhamun's death, his tomb leaves no doubt of his incredible wealth. Ancient Egyptians were often buried with worldly possessions because they believed they would need those possessions in the afterlife. Kings were venerated through the construction of large pyramids and tombs filled with riches. In 1922, Howard Carter and George Herbert found Tutankhamun's tomb, his mummified remains, and more than 3,000 treasures-- most of them solid gold. Though one of Egypt's lesser Pharaohs and buried in an unusually small tomb for his stature, Tutankhamun has been immortalized as 'King Tut', one of the best known images of ancient history.

King Tut's discovery underscores not only the wealth and history of ancient Egypt but also our own inability to carry our possessions with us when we die. For some the phrase 'you can't take it with you', which became popular after Tut was found more than 90 years ago, has become an excuse to 'eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die' (2 Nephi 28:7). This school of thought supposes that we will maximize our joy in life by spending all we have on things that will bring pleasure today.

Abd Al-Rahman III was an emir and caliph in 10th-century Spain that lived by the can't take it with you philosophy. As an absolute ruler he lived complete luxury. He wrote of his life, 'I have now reigned above 50 years in victory or peace; beloved by my subjects, dreaded by my enemies, and respected by my allies. Riches and honors, power and pleasure, have waited on my call, nor does any earthly blessing appear to have been wanting to my felicity'.

Yet, as is often the case, the more fame, fortune and pleasure Al-Rahman acquired, the more he wanted and the less satisfied he became with his life. He later wrote: 'I have diligently numbered the days of pure and genuine happiness which have fallen to my lot. They amount to 14.'

The story of Al-Rahman and a scientific explanation of his tragic plight was included in a recent edition of the New York Times. The entire article is worth reading.

Like the Spanish monarch and the ancient ruler of Egypt, many of us today spend the majority of our time in pursuit of money, recognition and pleasure. We want to do whatever we feel like doing; and, truth be told, our natures are hard wired to pursue money, recognition and physical pleasures-- sexual pleasure, in particular. This is how Mother Nature ensures we pass on our DNA and preserve our species. But, as one well-respected economist has observed, this is where the evolutionary cables have crossed:

'We assume that things we are attracted to will relieve our suffering and raise our happiness,' he explained. 'My brain says, "Get famous." It also says, "Unhappiness is lousy." I conflate the two, getting, "Get famous and you'll be less unhappy."'

'But that is Mother Nature's cruel hoax,' he continued. 'She doesn't really care either way whether you are unhappy-- she just wants you to want to pass on your genetic material. If you conflate intergenerational survival with well-being, that's your problem, not nature's. And matters are hardly helped by nature's useful idiots in society, who propagate a popular piece of life-ruining advice: “If it feels good, do it.” Unless you share the same existential goals as protozoa, this is often flat-out wrong.'

Social sciences are only now very gradually coming to understand the truths the gospel has taught for thousands of years. Alma taught his son, Corianton, around 74 BC:

And now, my son, all men that are in a state of nature, or I would say, in a carnal state, are in the gall of bitterness and in the bonds of iniquity; they are without God in the world, and they have gone contrary to the nature of God; therefore, they are in a state contrary to the nature of happiness (Alma 41:11).

Abinidi taught the wicked King Noah: 'Remember that he that persists in his own carnal nature, and goes on in the ways of sin and rebellion against God, remaineth in his fallen state and the devil hath all power over him' (Mosiah 16:5).

Perhaps most famously, King Benjamin taught his people:

For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father (Mosiah 3:19).

Christ thought this message was so important that he taught it to the Jews in Jerusalem and repeated it almost verbatim to the people in the Americas. 'Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and thieves break through and steal,' he said.

This teaching from the Savior is particularly credible. Not only did he teach without purse or scrip or 'where to lay his head', but the scripture records that he was explicitly tempted with wealth, fame and pleasure by the devil himself. Satan, the father of lies, first tempted Christ to turn rocks to bread to bring soothing pleasure his fasting stomach. Satan next tempted Jesus to throw himself from the temple and let concourses of angels rescue him in the city center, an act that would undoubtedly bring fame and silence his critics. Finally, the devil promised the Savior untold wealth and kingdoms if he would worship evil. In all cases, Christ refused to heed to temptation and cast the devil from his midst (Matthew 4).

In these verses to the Nephites and the Jews, the the Savior teaches us, who are likewise tempted to compromise our principles for worldly gain, how to avoid or successfully respond to the temptation. First, don't worry about worldly wealth, fame or physical pleasure. 'But', his sermon continued, 'lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.'

King Tut's tomb suggests that the treasures of heaven are different from the treasures of earth that Satan uses to tempt and mislead those who will follow him. Where Satan delights in the misery of the rich and famous (and those in pursuit on one scale or another), our Father in Heaven has provided a plan for our happiness regardless of our material riches. Christ's teaching gives us another clue should anyone suppose that gold and silver not pursued today will collect gold and silver with interest after death. Inasmuch as there will be rain and moths in the Celestial Kingdom-- both strong possibilities given that said kingdom will be here upon this earth-- we must also conclude the treasures of heaven are made neither of metal nor of fabric in order that they might not rust nor be corrupted by moths.

So what are the incorruptible treasures of heaven? At least three speakers addressed this question in the April 2014 General Conference. Elder Anderson stated very directly that 'Families are the treasure of heaven' (April 2014). Elder Donald Rasband taught that we accumulate treasures in heaven as we 'us[e] our time, talents, and agency in service to God.' Finally, Elder Michael Teh taught that the treasures of heaven include Christlike attributes such as faith, hope, humility, and charity; family relationships; and an understanding and testimony of the doctrine of Christ.

In other words, the treasures of heaven are not a pile of gold bars or a Beverly Hills mansion that will be thrust upon you when you die, but rather an accumulation of the attributes, relationships, and knowledge you develop on earth. They are not a tomb full of incredible riches, the fame of a monarch, or all the pleasures in the world. Whether or not those things exist in the Celestial Kingdom, the real treasure of heaven is our own, genuine, eternal happiness made possible by the atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

This being the case, we should note that Christ's teaching to 'lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth... but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven' indicates that it is not enough for us to simply stop coveting pleasure, fame and riches, but we must also be actively engaged in a good cause, helping others and developing our own character in the process. To us, as to the rich man who had kept the commandments from his youth, Jesus says, 'If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me' (Matthew 19:20-21).

The final verse of Christ's instruction to the Jews and Nephites, respectively, teaches us the guiding principle: 'where your treasure is,' the Savior taught, 'there will your heart be also' (3 Nephi 13:21). If our treasure is our food, our careers, the number of Facebook friends we have, or the sum of our bank accounts, then we have not yet put off the natural man and are in a state contrary to the nature of happiness. Fortunately for us, repentance is simple. If we would change our hearts and become as saints and children, we need only to change what we treasure. 'He that findeth his life shall lose it,' the Lord cautioned, 'and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it' (Matthew 10:39).

We can't take worldly wealth with us after death, but the things that matter most can't be kept in a tomb. If we set our hearts on our relationships including service to others, on developing knowledge and refining our characters, then 'ye shall be the richest of all people', the Lord has said, 'for ye shall have the riches of eternity' (D&C 38:39).

Which leads us to a final question: if riches are a bad thing, why have so many of the Lord's anointed been wealthy? Or really, why have any of them been so well off?

Abraham filled entire valleys with his livestock and had an army of servants at his command large enough to invade Sodom and rescue Lot. Joseph was among the most senior leaders of a prosperous Egypt. Lehi left considerable gold and silver when he left Jerusalem. Many of the apostles and other leaders in the Church today have had prosperous careers as lawyers, pilots, engineers, doctors, professors and businessmen.

Jacob taught, 'Before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God. And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good' (Jacob 2:18-19). Here again we see the instruction to lay up treasures in heaven first as we pursue the kingdom of God through righteous living, but Jacob adds that after we have done this riches will come if we seek them.

That the riches of earth follow the pursuit of heavenly treasures is neither coincidence nor a case of getting gold bars dumped on us randomly because we said our prayers and watched a session of conference this year. We know that 'there is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated-- And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated' (D&C 130:20-21).

In many cases, relative wealth is the natural consequence of a life focused on relationships, knowledge, and self-improvement. This statistical relationship has significant support. The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics estimates that 70 percent of all jobs are found through networking. People with doctorate degrees are five times less likely to be unemployed and make more than four times as much annual income on average than a high school dropout. In other words, people focused on what matters most-- relationships, knowledge and character--are more likely on average to find good work, keep good work, and do good work.

If we treasure the treasures of heaven, spreading the good fortune of our riches will be a part of who we are. We will use our riches for the intent to do good-- to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer to the sick and the afflicted-- and our wealth will not be a curse but a great blessing to the kingdom of God.

We will also need to continue to be diligent. Speaking to the earliest of the modern saints in 1831, most of whom were very poor but whose collective posterity is among the wealthiest on earth, the Lord cautioned not to treasure our treasure: 'It must needs be that the riches of the earth are mine to give,' he taught. 'But beware of pride, lest ye become as the Nephites of old' (D&C 38:39).

It is too late for Abd Al-Rahman III to add happy days to his life; but yours are still adding up. The only question left is what you'll choose to treasure in your heart-- and how happy you will be with your treasure.

Five Quotes on Families

Many of the grand structures of the world are the large stone and brick buildings left to us by ancestors that lived hundreds and sometimes thousands of years ago. The Garni Temple in Armenia, the pyramids of Egypt, the castles and cathedrals of Europe and the palace at Palenque are just a few examples of constructions that have stood through hundreds of years of harsh weather, fierce warfare and other forces that have brought the demise of those around them.

In each case, these buildings are planned and constructed around a single stone known as the foundation stone or chief cornerstone. The foundation stone is usually not visible to those admiring magnificent ancient structures, but it is the first stone laid and the most important for the strength of the building.

Families are the chief cornerstones of our societies. It is through families, centered on marriage, that rising generations learn the value of freedom, love, discipline, tolerance, rights, responsibilities and human worth. In families we are introduced to God, have our first experiences with other people and begin to experience truth in action. When marriages and families break down, communities are weakened, governments become less effective and societies face a growing risk of collapse.

For many of the same reasons, families are also at the center of God's plan for us and each of our eternal destinies. We lived with our heavenly family before this life, we are born into families on Earth, and God allows us to live with our earthly families throughout eternity if we enter into sacred covenants such as marriage and keep His commandments. If we construct our lives around the covenants and values that unite our families they can be a great and enduring strength to us.

What follows are five quotes from modern-day prophets to help us all as we attempt to build and strengthen our families and all they support. Each of these quotes are included in Elder L. Tom Perry's book, Family Ties: A Message for Fathers.

The first quote on families comes from President Spencer W. Kimball, who shared with us the recipe for success in married life:

The formula is simple; the ingredients are few, though there are many amplifications of each.

First, there must be the proper approach toward marriage, which contemplates the selection of a spouse who reaches as nearly as possible the pinnacle of perfection in all the matters that are of importance to the individuals. Then those two parties must come to the altar in the temple realizing that they must work hard toward this successful joint living.

Second, there must be great unselfishness, forgetting self and directing all of the family life and all pertaining thereunto to the good of the family, and subjugating self.

Third, there must be continued courting and expressions of affection, kindness and consideration to keep love alive and growing.

Fourth, there must be complete living of the commandments of the Lord as defined in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Speaking to men, Elder L. Tom Perry taught that too many marriages suffer from unrighteous leadership. Reminding us all that the Lord's way is the way of persuasion, gentleness, meekness and love, he taught:

Your wife is your companion, your best friend, your full partner. The Lord has blessed her with great potential, talent, and ability. She, too, must be given the opportunity for self-expression and development. Her happiness should be your greatest concern. Learn how to magnify both your roles in order that both husband and wife can be found having fulfilling and happy lives together. Brethren, your first and most responsible role in life and in the eternities is to be a righteous husband.

Brigham Young added:

Our families are not yet ours. The Lord has committed them to us to see how we will treat them. Only if we are faithful will they be given to us forever. What we do on earth determines whether or not we will be worthy to become heavenly parents.

If we will do these things-- be selfless and kind, respect and honor our spouses and live the gospel-- we can have healthy marriages and experience the strength and joy that can come from living in family units. We will be able to contribute to successful communities and prosperous or
ganizations of all kinds-- and those organizations will, in turn, be able to reinforce our families. Again from President Kimball:

Our success, individually and as a Church, will largely be determined by how faithfully we focus on living the gospel in the home. Only as we see clearly the responsibilities of each individual and the role of families and homes can we properly understand that priesthood quorums and auxiliary organizations, even wards and stakes, exist primarily to help members live the gospel in the home. Then we can understand that people are more important than programs, and that Church programs should always support and never detract from gospel-centered family activities...

All should work together to make home a place where we love to be, a place of listening and learning, a place where each member can find mutual love, support, appreciation, and encouragement.

I repeat that our success, individually and as a Church, will largely [depend on] how faithfully we focus on living the gospel in the home.

Finally, as we make family a priority in our lives and learn from our experiences there, Brigham Young has taught that we will have a model for righteous leadership that extends to other leadership opportunities that we may encounter.

The Priesthood... is [the] perfect order and system of government, and this alone can deliver the human family from all the evils which now afflict its members, and insure them happiness and felicity hereafter.

Remnants of ancient civilizations that lost track of families are all around us. It is not enough to build buildings that will last through the ages; we must ensure that our lives are built upon the foundation stone the Lord has provided so that we may also stand in the magnificence and grace of God through the eternities ahead.

Cracks in the Sidewalk: A Family Story

The sidewalk that led the way from my childhood home to the nearby elementary school was plagued with cracks of every shape and size. Some had filled with grass or made a home for a colony of ants. Others were barren except for some crumbling cement and debris, used only to give the children that passed by one more crack to avoid if, as the game goes, they were to prevent their mothers' backs from breaking.

In the years that have passed since plodding along that sidewalk each day to school, I've learned that there are measures that can be taken to prevent a sidewalk from cracking. While things like the type of concrete or size of sidewalk blocks can make some difference, more than 90 percent of sidewalk cracks can be prevented by using a chemical sealant. Sealing a clean sidewalk creates a protective barrier that repels damaging liquids like water and motor oil while binding the concrete together to guard against extreme temperatures or invading plants.

Sealing a sidewalk has a very similar result to sealing food in cans or plastic bags. Whether at home or in a factory, canned and packaged foods are sealed in a container that keeps out the oxygen and insects that could harm or decay the food while preserving the good stuff (like homemade strawberry jam, if you're lucky). Sealing the good stuff in and the bad stuff out allows food to last much longer while retaining its nutritional value; or for a sidewalk to stay strong and smooth, as the case may be.

Two thousand years ago, before cement sidewalks or canned foods, Jesus Christ taught his disciples about a type of seal that protects and preserves our families and ourselves. To Peter the Savior promised that he would, 'give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven' (Matthew 16:19).

The sealing power promised to Peter is the ability to preserve earthly things into a heavenly sphere. Christ uses the metaphor of a key to illustrate that only those who have received the priesthood can gain access to this sealing power. Like the wax seals used on correspondence at the time, keys not only protect and preserve the contents of a room or storage chest but are also indicative of position and authority backed by a government or church (which is why many government leaders, including the president of the United States, often still stand behind a podium bearing the seal of their office when giving important speeches). Those authorized to seal in heaven and on earth act with the endorsement and backing of the Creator of the universe.

Peter, to whom Christ promised the sealing power, used this power to lead the ancient church and raised Tabitha from the dead (Acts 1-12).

Nephi, the prophet on the American continent just prior to the birth of Christ, sealed the heavens and stopped a war with the terrible famine that ensued. He called down rain to end the famine after the people had repented. He was told the sealing power could flatten a mountain at his word (Helaman 10:7-10; 11).

Elijah also used the sealing power to create a great famine and turn the people from idolatry. He raised a boy from the dead and called fire down from heaven that consumed the priests of Baal and his drowned sacrifice (1 Kings 17-18).

The most important use for the sealing power is its ability to bind together generations and create a protective barrier around us and our families. King Benjamin taught that if we would, 'be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works, that Christ, the Lord God Omnipotent, may seal you his, that you may be brought to heaven, that ye may have everlasting salvation and eternal life' (Mosiah 5:15). Embedded in the covenant of baptism is a promise to be unified with Christ in this way through our faithfulness (D&C 20:77-79).

Families are sealed together for time and for eternity in holy temples. This ordinance carries the promise that the marriage and family relationships we have on earth will be preserved into the heavenly sphere beyond the veil of death. Our marriage or sealing in the temple bears the promise of unity with God, our Heavenly Father, and that we can be united with Him and with our families for all eternity.

Elder Scott has taught that, like the seal on a cement sidewalk, 'the temple sealing has greater meaning as life unfolds. It will help you draw ever closer together and find greater joy and fulfillment in mortality' (April 2011). If we are faithful, the sealing power can bring us joy in this life and unity with our families forever after.

The sealing keys spoken of by Christ, promised to Peter and entrusted to prophets throughout the ages are on the earth today. In keeping with His pattern, God has vested these powers in his living prophet, Thomas S. Monson, who then delegates the use of these keys throughout the world. The blessings of the sealing power are readily available to us through holy temples and the priesthood authority found in the stakes of Zion.

In a figurative but nonetheless very real way, each of us walking the path of life paves a sidewalk behind us for our children and grandchildren who come after us. Before we can apply the blessings of the sealing power, we must make sure our lives are as clean as newly-poured concrete or a bottle ready for the jam. We can clean off any disqualifying and undermining spots as we repent and come unto Christ.

As we are found worthy by our bishops, as judges in Israel, and as we continue to live faithfully, we can be bound to Christ and to our families through the sealing power of the priesthood. We can be protected from the devil's assault on families and preserve our righteousness. We can pave a sidewalk for our children that is without spots or cracks that they can follow to come closer to their Savior.

Adam and Eve and Full Partnership in Marriage

After God had created all the wonders of the Earth, his last creation was a man he called Adam. Because it was not good for man to be alone, God created a woman, Eve, to be, 'an help meet for him' (Moses 3:18):

And I, the Lord God, caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and he slept, and I took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in the stead thereof; And the rib which I, the Lord God, had taken from man, made I a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said: This I know is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh (Moses 3:21-24).

In today's language, we might say that Eve was created to be 'an aid worthy of' or 'equal to' Adam, or more simply, Eve was created to be Adam's wife. This phrase, as well as many others throughout the creation passages especially, indicate the relationship of Adam and Eve was one of two corresponding parts of the same great whole. Eve is called a 'help meet' indicating her equality and similarity to Adam. A rib is used metaphorically to express how Adam and Eve fit together as if of one body. The oneness of man and woman, their cleaving to and caring for each other apart from the physical and spiritual support of parents again shows how men and women correspond to make what President Spencer W. Kimball taught is, 'a complete man, which is husband and wife' (Ensign, Mar. 1976, p. 71).

In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, modern prophets teach us that it is 'by divine design' that 'both a man and a woman are essential for bringing children into mortality and providing the best setting for the rearing and nurturing of children.' A man is not physically complete without a woman, nor is a woman without a man.

Yet the completeness of a husband and wife goes far beyond the physical or procreative powers alone. A man is not spiritually complete without a woman, nor is a woman without a man (see Handbook 2: 1.3.1). The marriage covenants required for exaltation can only be accepted together (D&C 131:1-4). These are not arbitrarily imposed, but rather designed to guide us to become perfect or complete (see Matthew 5:48, footnote b). Through these covenants we become one and the same with our spouse in the eyes of God's law. Procreative acts may be the consummation of the marital covenant, but it is the covenant itself which welds our souls together.

The physical and spiritual unity of a husband and wife can create a depth of feeling beyond what we observe in any other relationship. Adam expressed the closeness he felt with Eve as if she were, "bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh'. These feelings come as we leave behind our single lives and establish our marriages as the first priority. This requires cleaving to each other, which means our striving to keep the covenants we have made to God and each other will be more important than any other person or interest.

President Kimball taught that, "Even the children must take their proper but significant place" (Ensign, Mar. 1976, p. 72). If we will dedicate the necessary time to building a healthy marriage, study after study has shown that a mother and father working together in love and unity will provide the best possible upbringing for their children. In fact, happily married couples are more productive in many aspects of their lives, not just parenting-- the interdependent whole is significantly more effective than the sum of its parts.

Understanding that a married man and women are two parts of one whole helps us see how seemingly selfish actions only damage ourselves as we indirectly attack our own souls. Unfortunately, too many only realize the depth of their spiritual connection with their spouse when it has been severed. Worse than the pain of losing an arm or a leg, divorce is a dismemberment for which there is no medication or prosthesis. Just as none of us are able to regrow a limb or even a hair of our heads without our Father in Heaven, healing after (or hopefully before) divorce can only come through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

Our first parents provided an example of a marriage that was the full partnership God intends every marriage to be. After being driven from the Garden of Eden, not unlike the way many of us eventually move away from the free rent and food of our parents' homes, Adam, 'began to till the earth... and to eat his bread by the sweat of his brow... And Eve... did labor with him' (Moses 5:1).

Elder Marion G. Romney referenced this passage when he said, 'The word with... is very significant. It means more than physical labor. It connotates a common purpose, understanding, cooperation and love.' He continued, 'Even when circumstances justify a wife's working away from home to support her family, she should be laboring 'with', not on her own nor in conflict with her husband... In Latter-day Saint families the husband and wife must be one' (Relief Society Magazine, Feb. 1968, pp. 85-86).

Adam and Eve worked together, prayed and worshiped together, sacrificed together, taught their children the gospel together, and mourned over wayward children together (see Moses 5:1, 4, 12, 27). They were united with each other and with God.

 The Family: A Proclamation to the World includes this guidance:

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.

Despite our different roles at times, husbands and wives can enjoy full partnership with their spouse when they take care to work with each other rather than merely working near each other. We must pray together, respect each other, forgive each other and have fun together.

A full partnership means we will always have a friend with whom we can frequently counsel about the decisions and activities of our family. It means having someone by your side as you approach the Lord with your questions. It means having a therapist when you're struggling to learn and grow, a copilot when there's a long drive ahead and someone to laugh with you when you just can't hold it in any longer.

We will experience the greatest happiness in marriage when we are willing to commit all we have and are to the fidelity and success of our marriage covenants. That is, we will experience the greatest happiness in marriage when we are willing to commit all we have and are to the happiness of our spouse.

Adam and Eve, as man and wife, were unified physically and spiritually. They worked together in full partnership, progressed together down the path of life, and were recognized in the eyes of the Lord as one.

As with our first parents, so it may be with us. Each of us may become perfect or complete as we, having already become one with Christ through baptism, join ourselves by covenant to a man or woman with whom we correspond and fit together. Most often we will choose to share a common name as an outward symbol of our inward covenant. Then, working together in full partnership and having our covenants sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise, we may find joy in this life and exaltation in the world to come.

As I Have Loved You

The scriptures tell us that 'God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son' (John 3:16). This divine gift made possible the resurrection of mankind and the salvation of the faithful. We are taught by the Savior that we may 'come unto him' and be perfected, allowing us to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father, if we will exercise faith, repent, be baptized by immersion for the remission of sins, receive the gift of the Holy Ghost and endure to the end.

As a part of our baptismal covenant we make with God, we promise to be willing to keep his commandments. It was this topic that brought an inquiring lawyer to Christ in Matthew 22. 'Master,' he asked, 'which is the great commandment in the law?'

Jesus answered, 'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets' (Matthew 22:36-40).

Love of God is a natural result of obedience and sincere seeking. Christ taught, 'If ye love me, keep my commandments' (John 14:15) . As we pray and study the scriptures our desires change, our behaviors follow, and we learn to love God and the fruits of obedience.

Our obligation to our fellow man can sometimes seem much more complicated, despite being extremely well outlined in scripture. Consider this familiar passage from the Sermon on the Mount:

Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.

Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;  That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven (Matthew 5:38-45).

Other scriptures invite us to 'forgive men their trespasses', 'judge not' and treat others how we would like to be treated. Christ explained our obligation to our fellow man this way:

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another (John 13:34-35).

Though we understand the principle generally, we all fail from time to time in our efforts to love one another as broadly and as genuinely as the Lord requires of us. Each of us behaves at times as though loving others is just one of the ways we should treat others instead of the only way.

The truth is that God has never given us permission to get angry at a bad driver, make fun of another person's mistake or roll our eyes at the lady holding up the grocery store line with a big stack of coupons. We are not called to keep order in the universe through micromanaging, controlling or intimidating others to do what we want. Nor is the Lord pleased when we are harsh, critical, sarcastic, patronizing, scolding or negative in any way to our brothers and sisters with whom we share our time on earth.

Even the best intentions cannot justify these behaviors. Elder H. Burke Peterson once explained it this way, referring to criticism specifically:

I personally have a hard time with people who say they believe in constructive criticism. My experience does not lead me to believe there is such a thing. My point of view is that criticism has a connotation that does not come from above. I think it is important to note that correction is different from criticism. The Lord discussed correction in his revelation to the Prophet Joseph Smith. He emphasized that any corrections are to be performed when 'moved upon by the Holy Ghost.' If we are inspired to chastise, however, the Lord insists that there be 'an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy.'

Criticism is more judgment-oriented than correction, and most of us do not have sufficient knowledge to be critical of others--especially of a spouse and children who are still growing and developing as we are ('Eternal Companions:Advice from LDS Counselors and Educators on Building a Forever Marriage', 4).

So the Lord warns us that it is the 'nature and disposition of almost all men', and it's not a stretch to include many women here also, to 'exercise unrighteous dominion' at every opportunity. That reminder of our natural shortcomings is followed by this profound doctrine referenced by Elder Peterson:

No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile-- Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy (D&C 121:39-43).

These verses teach us again that we we should treat those around us with kindness, gentleness, meekness and sincerity-- or, in other words, with love. This is the second great commandment behind loving God.

Loving others doesn't mean the world will seem like springtime all the time. Sometimes love means correcting or teaching those for whom we have stewardship just as God chastises those whom he loves. Sometimes love means we will ache as we allow our loved ones use their agency, especially when mistakes seem to us like they could have been avoided or prevented.

Sometimes our loved ones may not appreciate how we show our love or may feel that we cannot love them without also accepting their wrong or sinful behaviors. We don't ever have to compromise gospel standards to have love for those who may not share the same ideals-- it is God who gives us love, after all. If we have genuine love for others, we will love them as Christ loves us. We will be patient and kind. We will disagree and even correct, where appropriate, without becoming hostile.

What matters in the end is whether we have been striving to keep the commandments to love God and love our fellow man. As we dedicate our hearts, minds and strength to this effort, let us consider how well we love those around us. Can our spouse feel our love by the way we treat them? Do we allow love to guide our parenting instead of our own preferences, convenience and comfort? Do our coworkers enjoy being around us because of the way they are treated? Are those we do not yet know pleased to meet us because of the way we make them feel?

God gave his Only Begotten because he loves us. His gift makes it possible to inherit all that he has. He asks in return that we strive to be like him-- to love others as he loves them, not as only one way we can treat them but as the only way. As we obey the command to love our fellow man, we will also find that our love of God will increase and we will become true disciples.

By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

What Fatherhood Looks Like

Family Disputes in Scripture

In his most recent General Conference address, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf helped us all understand a little more of what the gospel says about strained family relationships. He titled his remarks, "The Merciful Obtain Mercy", intended to remind us all that "with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again."

The scriptures, as always, include instructions on how to respond to strain and pressure on our family relationships. They teach us that these struggles are as old as time itself: Lucifer rebelled against God and divided our premortal family; Cain slew his brother, Abel, in the earliest years of human existence. The root causes of these and other family disputes-- pride, envy, lust for power and others-- are a part of our human natures; the scriptures remind us that our challenge is to put off the natural man and become a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord (Mosiah 3:19).

One particularly instructive example is the Old Testament story of Joseph. Joseph was the favorite son of his father and was blessed with the spiritual gifts to have and interpret dreams. Some of his dreams prophesied that his family would one day make obeisance to him. Joseph's brothers became angry with what they saw as Joseph's haughtiness and favored treatment from their father. Some of his brothers wanted to kill him. Reuben and Judah convinced their brothers to spare Joseph's life and sell him to a caravan instead.

Joseph spent several years as a slave and as a prisoner because of his brothers' actions. When Joseph encounters his brothers again in Egypt there were anxious moments. At first, Joseph didn't want his brothers to recognize him. Now in a position of power, Joseph was in a position to exact revenge on his brothers if he desired. He could've sent them to prison, sold them as slaves or had them killed. Instead, Joseph orchestrated the reunion of the entire family and saved their lives by providing much-needed grain in a terrible drought.

Nephi also experienced contention in his family. His brothers, Laman and Lemuel, beat him with a rod, tied him up and tried to kill him on more than one occasion. Nephi's in-laws were prone to complaining and sometimes helped Laman and Lemuel attack their brother, Nephi. Even Nephi's dad, a prophet of God, complained against Nephi to the point that he must be severely chastised.

As with Joseph, Nephi surely had some anxious family moments. Before his brothers attempted murder, there were surely disagreements and fights just as in Joseph's family. Nephi and Joseph chose to forgive, even when their offending brethren were unrepentant. In Nephi's case, he eventually had to move his family away from his violent and dangerous brothers. His story doesn't have the happy ending that Joseph's does. But in each case, the Lord used the trials to the benefit of those willing to forgive-- and as a testament against those who persecuted them. Joseph became an overseer in Egypt and the birthright son of his father, Israel. Nephi prospered in the promised land as a prophet and king.

In our families, we are likely to experience strain on our family relationships like Joseph and Nephi did. We may not see the resolution to these disputes that we would like, just as Nephi was unable to persuade his brothers to be humble and seek after righteousness. Sometimes divorce, separation or muted lines of communication will happen or even must happen to protect our families.As we choose to forgive anyway, we will experience what President Uchtdorf explained in his address:

The more we allow the love of God to govern our minds and emotions—the more we allow our love for our Heavenly Father to swell within our hearts—the easier it is to love others with the pure love of Christ. As we open our hearts to the glowing dawn of the love of God, the darkness and cold of animosity and envy will eventually fade...

People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way.

Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord’s way.

He concluded with a challenge that would be good for each of us to observe:

Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive.

Lay your burden at the Savior’s feet. Let go of judgment. Allow Christ’s Atonement to change and heal your heart. Love one another. Forgive one another.

Moments That Matter Most

We would do well to slow down a little... focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and truly see the things that matter most... Strength comes not from frantic activity but from being settled on a firm foundation of truth and light. It comes from paying attention to the divine things that matter most... Diligently doing the things that matter most will lead us to the Savior of the world.

~President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Choosing to Hearken and Receive

In Alma we read one of the greatest missionary stories of all time as the sons of Mosiah, princes among Nephites, forsake wealth and power to teach the enemy Lamanites about the gospel of Jesus Christ. Their extraordinary success is matched by extraordinary trials as they overcome imprisonment, starvation, disbelief and persecution to teach the gospel. In a moment of joy as they realized together their incredible missionary success, the oldest of these sons, Ammon, declares, "our brethren, the Lamanites, were in darkness, yea, even in the darkest abyss, but behold...thousands of them do rejoice, and have been brought into the fold of God" (Alma 26: 3-4).

Four hundred years later, the prophet Mormon walked among the descendants of Ammon and his brethren, their converts and their once-righteous Nephite nation. Christ had visited the people and they had enjoyed the presence, teachings and miracles of Christ's authorized disciples for nearly three hundred years. Now a wicked people, Mormon writes that he tried to preach to them, "but my mouth was shut, and I was forbidden that I should preach unto them; for behold they had wilfully rebelled against their God" (Mormon 1:16).

In these two examples we see two wicked peoples, with identical family histories, yield two very different responses from the Lord. Ammon and his brethren rejoiced that they had, "been made instruments in the hands of God to bring about this great work" (Alma 26:3). And when "our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back," Ammon records, "behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success" (Alma 26:27). Yet Mormon, "was forbidden to preach unto them, because of the hardness of their hearts; and because of the hardness of their hearts the land was cursed for their sake" (Mormon 1:17).

If God loves all of His children, we may wonder why He would bless one people with faith and conversion and curse another and forbid the prophets to preach to them. It may seem unfair or like His love is conditional. Yet the difference between these two societies is not the way they were treated by a God who loves them both, but the way they used their agency to respond to that love.

Both of these peoples had been taught the gospel of Jesus Christ. The wickedness of the Lamanites taught by Ammon was the result of generations of false teachings and disbelief on the part of their ancestors. They were taught the gospel and responded with conversion so pure and so true they were willing to die in a massacre to hold true to their covenants and to their God. The Nephites of Mormon's day were raised in the gospel; their ancestors had beheld Christ with their very own eyes, yet they chose abandon their family legacies for the pleasures of greed, immorality, self-indulgence and rebellion.

So we see the wisdom of God as He teaches us the principles of eternity: "And the mysteries of the kingdom ye shall keep within yourselves; for it is not meet to give that which is holy unto the dogs; neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet. For the world cannot receive that which ye, yourselves, are not able to bear; wherefore ye shall not give your pearls unto them, lest they turn again and rend you" (JST Matthew 7:10-11).

And again, "he that receiveth my gospel receiveth me; and he that receiveth not my gospel receiveth not me. And this is my gospel-- repentance and baptism by water, and then cometh the baptism of fire and the Holy Ghost... The days of thy deliverance are come, if thou wilt hearken to my voice, which saith unto thee: Arise and be baptized, and wash away your sins, calling on my name, and you shall receive my Spirit, and a blessing so great as you have never known" (D&C 39:5-10).

Fourth Century Nephites had already trampled sacred covenants to become the wicked people they were. They were taught the gospel in their homes and they chose to not to receive it, but to discard it and regard it as slop for the pigs. Not many years from the time of Mormon's writing, they even turned against the Church to tear it into pieces and destroy it.

The people of Ammon's time, the self-declared Anti-Nephi-Lehis, hearkened unto the voice of the Lord and were baptized. They wanted nothing more than to be free of their sins and diligent in their faith.

Like the Ammonites and the Nephites of Mormon's time, each of us must decide each day whether we will receive Christ. We must decide whether we will build the foundations of our testimonies on the rock of Jesus Christ and his gospel, or whether we will be overrun and washed away by the world and her philosophies like the wicked Nephites. We must decide if we will be true to our family's legacy of faith, however long or short, or if we will abandon our opportunity and advantage for the excitement of popularity or the world's esteem. We must decide who we will serve: God or mammon.

The decisions the move us closer to Christ or the slippery slope of apostasy come by the dozen every day. The movies we watch, the conversations we have, the offenses we choose, the love we give and the way we use our time are just a few of the daily, if not constant, decisions that pull us one way or the other. If we expect ourselves and our families to be like the people of Ammon, we must learn to hearken to the voice of the Lord as the Ammonites did. As we do so, we will arise to the level of the covenants we have made, our sins will be washed away, we will call upon the name of the Lord, and we shall receive the Spirit of God and blessing so great as we have never known.

Therefore, blessed are they who will repent and hearken unto the voice of the Lord their God; for these are they that shall be saved. Helaman 12:23

A Relationship Collage

Sometimes in the scriptures, particularly in the New Testament, it seems as though the text randomly and very suddenly jumps from one subject to another. One moment we're reading about forgiveness, the next about salt or sheep or coins, and the next about faith or knocking on doors or picking motes or beams from our eyes. The seeming disjointedness has often contributed to my own perception of the Bible as a more difficult text than its Book of Mormon counterpart.

That changed a little bit this week as my wife helped me see the connections in the seemingly unrelated passages of Matthew chapter 18. Focusing on the connections, rather than the apparent lack of connections, turned an obstacle into a blessing as I saw the Bible in a whole new light.

In Matthew 18, Christ teaches his disciples about caring for children, plucking out eyes or cutting of hands that offend us, seeking for lost sheep, dealing with those who have offended us and a king who forgave an unforgiving servant before delivering him to the tormentors because of his unforgivingness. Each passage seemed to be independently useful, but tangent from any core theme or moral.

Read more carefully, and inserting the Joseph Smith translations where they appear, the lesson transforms into a collage of focused doctrine, stories and experiences on a single theme. It began with this question: "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"

Using a child as an example, Christ responded: Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 18:2-3). Remembering the teachings of Paul (Romans 8:16-17) and King Benjamin (Mosiah 5:7-8), we can understand from this reply that as we humble ourselves and take His name upon us through baptism, we may become joint heirs with Christ of all the Father has. The greatest in the kingdom of heaven are those who make and keep the baptismal covenant, returning through the Atonement to the Celestial Kingdom with the innocence of small children. Adding the requirement of faith in verse six, Christ  provides a complete, profound yet succinct answer to the question.

Having highlighted our relationship with our Heavenly Father in his reply, the Savior then takes the rest of the chapter to teach us about our earthly relationships. This should sound familiar to those who have listened to any of the modern sessions of General Conference, which also tend to teach the gospel in a family-centered context. The essence of all of our relationships, Christ teaches, must be to prepare each other to return to live with God. He explains that:

If thy hand or they foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire. And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire. And a man's hand is his friend, and his foot, also; and a man's eye, are they of his own household.


In other words, it is better to end a relationship with a friend or family member than to miss your opportunity to live forever with your Heavenly Father because that relationship drug you down.

Recognizing this as the extreme case, Christ works backward toward the more forgiving ideal. While terminating relationships is an unfortunate possibility, just as our Father cast out Lucifer, the seriousness of that prospect demands additional attention. In this middle ground between ending relationships and the ideal forgiveness, Christ clarifies that we must do all we can to recover the relationships and the souls involved with three specific steps:

First, if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou has gained thy brother.


Next, if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.


And finally, if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church; but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. 


What the disciplinary councils of the Church bind on earth is also bound in heaven (Matthew 18:18-19). That means that an unrepentant person who is excommunicated from the Church is also removed from his or her fellowship with Christ. They no longer bear his name nor do they qualify to enter the Celestial Kingdom of God. The very salvation of that soul is at great risk, so Christ promises that disciplinary councils will not face the decision alone: For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. 


We are all children of a loving Heavenly Father. We can become pure as a little child and inherit eternal life from our Father in Heaven if we will be humble before Him and enter with faith into the covenant of baptism. Baptism is the covenant that allows us access to the full redeeming power of the Atonement. This is our relationship with God.

Because we are dependent upon the Lord's forgiveness of our every misdeed, we should also be quick to forgive others of their offenses against us. This is the ideal outlined at the end of Matthew 18. No collection of offenses they may have committed against us surpasses the mountain of offenses we have committed against the eternal laws of God. We should settle each offense against us with compassion for the offender.

In some situations, certain offenses may need to be escalated from a private discussion. A family, neighborhood, judicial court or other small group may be called upon to resolve an offense. Even still, compassion is required to provide every possible opportunity for the offended and the offender to recoup their stressed relationship with each other and reinforce their individual relationships with Christ.

When offenses cannot be resolved between individuals or a group of individuals, the disciplinary councils of the Church may intervene. Christ attends every such council and it is the Savior, our eternal judge alongside the Father, who directs the decisions of the disciplinary councils of the Church. Decisions made in these councils are binding on earth and in heaven.

Of those who refuse to hear the voice of the Lord in the councils of the Church, the Lord says to, let them be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican...for it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed than to have friends or family and be cast into hell fire.

So it comes full circle. Seeking the connections in the scriptures has highlighted a collage of principles and doctrines that I previously had not seen. The greatest in the kingdom of heaven are those who make and keep covenant relationships. We form one such relationship with our baptism. Others are forged in the temple, when we welcome a new child into the world or as we become one with our fellow Saints.

May each of us gain the light and truth we need for our lives as we search the scriptures, and may we live worthy to sustain and uphold our covenant relationships.

Eternal Families

My wife and I were asked to talk in sacrament meeting today. With the special help of Sister Beck, here's what I came up with:

I love to read the Book of Mormon. I testify that it is the word of God to our dispensation; I know that I have grown closer to God as I have pondered and applied its teachings.

One of the things I have noticed in the Book of Mormon is that it is a story of families. Most of us are familiar with the struggles, blessings, conflicts and miracles of Nephi’s family, for example. Though the specific details may be different, I have often been able to relate to members of that family. Sometimes I have been one of the siblings that were not getting along or the son causing concern for my parents. At other times I have been directed by the Spirit to help a family member or provided support to a brother or sister in need. Though a young parent, I am beginning to better understand Lehi’s concerned pleas and Sariah’s desperation-turned-to-joy when her sons return home safely from a long journey. The families of the Book of Mormon provide invaluable, real-life lessons. Because they faced challenges similar to our own, Book of Mormon families can also show us ahead of time how our decisions today may affect our family’s future.

Most of us are also familiar with the story of the stripling warriors. These 2,060 young men, “did obey and observe to perform every word of command with exactness… and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.” All 2,060 survived conflicts that could be called the World War II of their generation. Their unusual strength astonished the armies around them and even Helaman, their prophet and their general. The Lord was able to preserve these young men because the habits of their childhood homes had established sincere, unwavering faith in each of their hearts.

Tragically, less than 65 years later and in the aftermath of the miraculous signs of the birth of Christ, a converted Lamanite people “began to decrease as to their faith and righteousness, because of the wickedness of the rising generation.” Like the stripling warriors, these young men and women were raised in homes that knew of and believed in the gospel of Jesus Christ, but the rising generation of this time period were not as unwavering. The scriptures record that when these young adults “became for themselves”, they were “led away by some who were Zoramites, by their lyings and their flattering words, to join those Gadianton robbers.”

If we’re not careful, we might look at the stories of the stripling warriors and the rising generation of Gadianton robbers and conclude that it doesn’t matter what we do as parents or as siblings or as children. What’s the point of raising a child in a gospel home of they still may grow up to be robbers and terrorists? This is the type of subtle lie told by our adversary that is increasingly embraced by the world around us.

In truth, God has revealed that every member of a family that desires to be together forever plays a role in helping the family reach their celestial destination. As the mothers of the stripling warriors taught their sons, understanding the role and doctrine of the family can help us and our spouses and children become unwavering in our faith in Christ.

In “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Church leaders we sustain as prophets, seers and revelators proclaimed that “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” That plan is based on the Creation, the Fall, and the Atonement.

The Creation of the earth provided a place where families could live. God created a man and a woman who were the two essential halves of a family. It was part of Heavenly Father’s plan that Adam and Eve be sealed and form an eternal family.

The Fall provided a way for the family to grow. Adam and Eve were family leaders who chose to have a mortal experience. The Fall made it possible for them to have sons and daughters.

The Atonement allows for the family to be sealed together eternally. It allows for families to have eternal growth and perfection. The plan of happiness, also called the plan of salvation, was a plan created for families. As stated in proclamation on the family, the main pillars of our theology are centered in the family.

That means that when we speak of living the gospel or of qualifying for the blessings of eternal life, we mean qualifying for the blessings of eternal families. This was Christ’s doctrine, and it was restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith. It is recorded in Doctrine and Covenants 2:1–3:

“Behold, I will reveal unto you the Priesthood, by the hand of Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.

“And he shall plant in the hearts of the children the promises made to the fathers, and the hearts of the children shall turn to their fathers.

“If it were not so, the whole earth would be utterly wasted at his coming.”

This scripture is talking about temple blessings—ordinances and covenants without which “the whole earth [is] utterly wasted.”

Without the family, there is no plan; there is no reason for mortal life. Understanding the family’s central role in God’s plan for us, we can rightly ask ourselves whether we give our families that same status on our list of priorities. Perhaps the importance of family had something to do with why the stripling warriors were so willing to defend what later generations were recruited to destroy.

I have learned a lot about making family a priority from my in-laws. They do all they can—they use their vacation time at work and drive long distances at odd times of the morning-- to be present for every baby blessing, every baptism and every wedding of every sibling, every nephew, every niece and every grandchild. My wife’s aunts and uncles reciprocate this prioritization and effort. It was easy to see the fruits of their efforts this past Christmastime when all 63 members of their extended family gathered in a Salt Lake City hotel conference room. Not a soul of them were missing, some were there at great sacrifice. None of them would have had it any other way. Over three days I saw this family laugh together, cry together, dance together and pray together—and I laughed, cried, danced and prayed with them. Every member of that family knew they were included, they were loved, and they had something to live up to.

Knowing that the family is central in God’s plan for us, we must also understand that the command to “multiply, and replenish the earth” remains in force. Bearing children is a faith-based work. President Spencer W. Kimball said, “It is an act of extreme selfishness for a married couple to refuse to have children when they are able to do so.” Motherhood and fatherhood are eternal roles. Each carries the responsibility for either the male or the female half of the plan.

Elder Hales has taught: “The family is not an accident of mortality. It existed as an organizational unit in the heavens before the world was formed; historically, it started on earth with Adam and Eve, as recorded in Genesis. Adam and Eve were married and sealed for time and all eternity by the Lord, and as a result their family will exist eternally.”

As we are sealed to our families in the temple and keep those sacred covenants, our families may partake in the blessings of Abraham. Included in these blessings is the promise of numerous posterity, descendants who would receive the gospel and bear the priesthood, and descendants who will bring the gospel to all the world. In effect, if we are truly keeping our temple covenants, we will be doing the things that will help our children become stripling warriors instead of Gadiantons.

The prophets and apostles are constantly reminding us to keep the covenants we have made to God and our families. Listen to some of the counsel given just this last conference about our families:

Elder Bednar counseled, “Each of us should consider seriously and ponder prayerfully how we can reject the devil’s enticements and righteously “apply unto it,” even the spirit of revelation, in our personal lives and families.”

Elder Scott taught us beautifully: “If you are a young man of appropriate age and are not married, don’t waste time in idle pursuits. Get on with life and focus on getting married. Don’t just coast through this period of life. Young men, serve a worthy mission. Then make your highest priority finding a worthy, eternal companion… If you have found someone, you can form an extraordinarily wonderful courtship and marriage and be very, very happy eternally by staying within the bounds of worthiness the Lord has established.”

He encouraged the brethren to lead out in family activities such as scripture study and family home evening. He encouraged us to express our love and gratitude out loud and often, and to nurture our children in love.

President Monson asked us to: “Realize that you will not be able to anticipate every challenge which may arise, but be assured that almost anything can be worked out if you are resourceful and if you are committed to making your marriage work…. if you are committed to the success of your marriage, there is nothing in this life which will bring you greater happiness.”

He encouraged us to be fiercely loyal and ever so kind to our spouses and our families, and reminded us successful marriages are generally more about being the right person than marrying the right person. He concluded his remarks on family with this plea:

“If any of you are having difficulty in your marriage, I urge you to do all that you can to make whatever repairs are necessary, that you might be as happy as you were when your marriage started out. We who are married in the house of the Lord do so for time and for all eternity, and then we must put forth the necessary effort to make it so. I realize that there are situations where marriages cannot be saved, but I feel strongly that for the most part they can be and should be. Do not let your marriage get to the point where it is in jeopardy.”

Our charge is to live in our homes, in our families, and in our marriages so that our spouses and our children will develop hope for eternal life from watching us. We must live and teach our families with so much clarity that what we teach will cut through all the noise of the world. We must be brilliant in the basics and intentional about our roles and responsibilities in the family. Great hope will come in a family that studies their scriptures together, has family home evening, makes mealtimes a priority and speaks respectfully of one another.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is true. It was restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith. We are sons and daughters of heavenly parents, who sent us forth to have this earthly experience to prepare us for the blessing of eternal families. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ we can become perfect and equal to our responsibilities in our earthly families and have the promise of eternal families after death.