Five Quotes on Families

Many of the grand structures of the world are the large stone and brick buildings left to us by ancestors that lived hundreds and sometimes thousands of years ago. The Garni Temple in Armenia, the pyramids of Egypt, the castles and cathedrals of Europe and the palace at Palenque are just a few examples of constructions that have stood through hundreds of years of harsh weather, fierce warfare and other forces that have brought the demise of those around them.

In each case, these buildings are planned and constructed around a single stone known as the foundation stone or chief cornerstone. The foundation stone is usually not visible to those admiring magnificent ancient structures, but it is the first stone laid and the most important for the strength of the building.

Families are the chief cornerstones of our societies. It is through families, centered on marriage, that rising generations learn the value of freedom, love, discipline, tolerance, rights, responsibilities and human worth. In families we are introduced to God, have our first experiences with other people and begin to experience truth in action. When marriages and families break down, communities are weakened, governments become less effective and societies face a growing risk of collapse.

For many of the same reasons, families are also at the center of God's plan for us and each of our eternal destinies. We lived with our heavenly family before this life, we are born into families on Earth, and God allows us to live with our earthly families throughout eternity if we enter into sacred covenants such as marriage and keep His commandments. If we construct our lives around the covenants and values that unite our families they can be a great and enduring strength to us.

What follows are five quotes from modern-day prophets to help us all as we attempt to build and strengthen our families and all they support. Each of these quotes are included in Elder L. Tom Perry's book, Family Ties: A Message for Fathers.

The first quote on families comes from President Spencer W. Kimball, who shared with us the recipe for success in married life:

The formula is simple; the ingredients are few, though there are many amplifications of each.

First, there must be the proper approach toward marriage, which contemplates the selection of a spouse who reaches as nearly as possible the pinnacle of perfection in all the matters that are of importance to the individuals. Then those two parties must come to the altar in the temple realizing that they must work hard toward this successful joint living.

Second, there must be great unselfishness, forgetting self and directing all of the family life and all pertaining thereunto to the good of the family, and subjugating self.

Third, there must be continued courting and expressions of affection, kindness and consideration to keep love alive and growing.

Fourth, there must be complete living of the commandments of the Lord as defined in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Speaking to men, Elder L. Tom Perry taught that too many marriages suffer from unrighteous leadership. Reminding us all that the Lord's way is the way of persuasion, gentleness, meekness and love, he taught:

Your wife is your companion, your best friend, your full partner. The Lord has blessed her with great potential, talent, and ability. She, too, must be given the opportunity for self-expression and development. Her happiness should be your greatest concern. Learn how to magnify both your roles in order that both husband and wife can be found having fulfilling and happy lives together. Brethren, your first and most responsible role in life and in the eternities is to be a righteous husband.

Brigham Young added:

Our families are not yet ours. The Lord has committed them to us to see how we will treat them. Only if we are faithful will they be given to us forever. What we do on earth determines whether or not we will be worthy to become heavenly parents.

If we will do these things-- be selfless and kind, respect and honor our spouses and live the gospel-- we can have healthy marriages and experience the strength and joy that can come from living in family units. We will be able to contribute to successful communities and prosperous or
ganizations of all kinds-- and those organizations will, in turn, be able to reinforce our families. Again from President Kimball:

Our success, individually and as a Church, will largely be determined by how faithfully we focus on living the gospel in the home. Only as we see clearly the responsibilities of each individual and the role of families and homes can we properly understand that priesthood quorums and auxiliary organizations, even wards and stakes, exist primarily to help members live the gospel in the home. Then we can understand that people are more important than programs, and that Church programs should always support and never detract from gospel-centered family activities...

All should work together to make home a place where we love to be, a place of listening and learning, a place where each member can find mutual love, support, appreciation, and encouragement.

I repeat that our success, individually and as a Church, will largely [depend on] how faithfully we focus on living the gospel in the home.

Finally, as we make family a priority in our lives and learn from our experiences there, Brigham Young has taught that we will have a model for righteous leadership that extends to other leadership opportunities that we may encounter.

The Priesthood... is [the] perfect order and system of government, and this alone can deliver the human family from all the evils which now afflict its members, and insure them happiness and felicity hereafter.

Remnants of ancient civilizations that lost track of families are all around us. It is not enough to build buildings that will last through the ages; we must ensure that our lives are built upon the foundation stone the Lord has provided so that we may also stand in the magnificence and grace of God through the eternities ahead.

Cracks in the Sidewalk: A Family Story

The sidewalk that led the way from my childhood home to the nearby elementary school was plagued with cracks of every shape and size. Some had filled with grass or made a home for a colony of ants. Others were barren except for some crumbling cement and debris, used only to give the children that passed by one more crack to avoid if, as the game goes, they were to prevent their mothers' backs from breaking.

In the years that have passed since plodding along that sidewalk each day to school, I've learned that there are measures that can be taken to prevent a sidewalk from cracking. While things like the type of concrete or size of sidewalk blocks can make some difference, more than 90 percent of sidewalk cracks can be prevented by using a chemical sealant. Sealing a clean sidewalk creates a protective barrier that repels damaging liquids like water and motor oil while binding the concrete together to guard against extreme temperatures or invading plants.

Sealing a sidewalk has a very similar result to sealing food in cans or plastic bags. Whether at home or in a factory, canned and packaged foods are sealed in a container that keeps out the oxygen and insects that could harm or decay the food while preserving the good stuff (like homemade strawberry jam, if you're lucky). Sealing the good stuff in and the bad stuff out allows food to last much longer while retaining its nutritional value; or for a sidewalk to stay strong and smooth, as the case may be.

Two thousand years ago, before cement sidewalks or canned foods, Jesus Christ taught his disciples about a type of seal that protects and preserves our families and ourselves. To Peter the Savior promised that he would, 'give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven' (Matthew 16:19).

The sealing power promised to Peter is the ability to preserve earthly things into a heavenly sphere. Christ uses the metaphor of a key to illustrate that only those who have received the priesthood can gain access to this sealing power. Like the wax seals used on correspondence at the time, keys not only protect and preserve the contents of a room or storage chest but are also indicative of position and authority backed by a government or church (which is why many government leaders, including the president of the United States, often still stand behind a podium bearing the seal of their office when giving important speeches). Those authorized to seal in heaven and on earth act with the endorsement and backing of the Creator of the universe.

Peter, to whom Christ promised the sealing power, used this power to lead the ancient church and raised Tabitha from the dead (Acts 1-12).

Nephi, the prophet on the American continent just prior to the birth of Christ, sealed the heavens and stopped a war with the terrible famine that ensued. He called down rain to end the famine after the people had repented. He was told the sealing power could flatten a mountain at his word (Helaman 10:7-10; 11).

Elijah also used the sealing power to create a great famine and turn the people from idolatry. He raised a boy from the dead and called fire down from heaven that consumed the priests of Baal and his drowned sacrifice (1 Kings 17-18).

The most important use for the sealing power is its ability to bind together generations and create a protective barrier around us and our families. King Benjamin taught that if we would, 'be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works, that Christ, the Lord God Omnipotent, may seal you his, that you may be brought to heaven, that ye may have everlasting salvation and eternal life' (Mosiah 5:15). Embedded in the covenant of baptism is a promise to be unified with Christ in this way through our faithfulness (D&C 20:77-79).

Families are sealed together for time and for eternity in holy temples. This ordinance carries the promise that the marriage and family relationships we have on earth will be preserved into the heavenly sphere beyond the veil of death. Our marriage or sealing in the temple bears the promise of unity with God, our Heavenly Father, and that we can be united with Him and with our families for all eternity.

Elder Scott has taught that, like the seal on a cement sidewalk, 'the temple sealing has greater meaning as life unfolds. It will help you draw ever closer together and find greater joy and fulfillment in mortality' (April 2011). If we are faithful, the sealing power can bring us joy in this life and unity with our families forever after.

The sealing keys spoken of by Christ, promised to Peter and entrusted to prophets throughout the ages are on the earth today. In keeping with His pattern, God has vested these powers in his living prophet, Thomas S. Monson, who then delegates the use of these keys throughout the world. The blessings of the sealing power are readily available to us through holy temples and the priesthood authority found in the stakes of Zion.

In a figurative but nonetheless very real way, each of us walking the path of life paves a sidewalk behind us for our children and grandchildren who come after us. Before we can apply the blessings of the sealing power, we must make sure our lives are as clean as newly-poured concrete or a bottle ready for the jam. We can clean off any disqualifying and undermining spots as we repent and come unto Christ.

As we are found worthy by our bishops, as judges in Israel, and as we continue to live faithfully, we can be bound to Christ and to our families through the sealing power of the priesthood. We can be protected from the devil's assault on families and preserve our righteousness. We can pave a sidewalk for our children that is without spots or cracks that they can follow to come closer to their Savior.

Temples

Adam and Eve and Full Partnership in Marriage

After God had created all the wonders of the Earth, his last creation was a man he called Adam. Because it was not good for man to be alone, God created a woman, Eve, to be, 'an help meet for him' (Moses 3:18):

And I, the Lord God, caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and he slept, and I took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in the stead thereof; And the rib which I, the Lord God, had taken from man, made I a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said: This I know is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh (Moses 3:21-24).

In today's language, we might say that Eve was created to be 'an aid worthy of' or 'equal to' Adam, or more simply, Eve was created to be Adam's wife. This phrase, as well as many others throughout the creation passages especially, indicate the relationship of Adam and Eve was one of two corresponding parts of the same great whole. Eve is called a 'help meet' indicating her equality and similarity to Adam. A rib is used metaphorically to express how Adam and Eve fit together as if of one body. The oneness of man and woman, their cleaving to and caring for each other apart from the physical and spiritual support of parents again shows how men and women correspond to make what President Spencer W. Kimball taught is, 'a complete man, which is husband and wife' (Ensign, Mar. 1976, p. 71).

In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, modern prophets teach us that it is 'by divine design' that 'both a man and a woman are essential for bringing children into mortality and providing the best setting for the rearing and nurturing of children.' A man is not physically complete without a woman, nor is a woman without a man.

Yet the completeness of a husband and wife goes far beyond the physical or procreative powers alone. A man is not spiritually complete without a woman, nor is a woman without a man (see Handbook 2: 1.3.1). The marriage covenants required for exaltation can only be accepted together (D&C 131:1-4). These are not arbitrarily imposed, but rather designed to guide us to become perfect or complete (see Matthew 5:48, footnote b). Through these covenants we become one and the same with our spouse in the eyes of God's law. Procreative acts may be the consummation of the marital covenant, but it is the covenant itself which welds our souls together.

The physical and spiritual unity of a husband and wife can create a depth of feeling beyond what we observe in any other relationship. Adam expressed the closeness he felt with Eve as if she were, "bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh'. These feelings come as we leave behind our single lives and establish our marriages as the first priority. This requires cleaving to each other, which means our striving to keep the covenants we have made to God and each other will be more important than any other person or interest.

President Kimball taught that, "Even the children must take their proper but significant place" (Ensign, Mar. 1976, p. 72). If we will dedicate the necessary time to building a healthy marriage, study after study has shown that a mother and father working together in love and unity will provide the best possible upbringing for their children. In fact, happily married couples are more productive in many aspects of their lives, not just parenting-- the interdependent whole is significantly more effective than the sum of its parts.

Understanding that a married man and women are two parts of one whole helps us see how seemingly selfish actions only damage ourselves as we indirectly attack our own souls. Unfortunately, too many only realize the depth of their spiritual connection with their spouse when it has been severed. Worse than the pain of losing an arm or a leg, divorce is a dismemberment for which there is no medication or prosthesis. Just as none of us are able to regrow a limb or even a hair of our heads without our Father in Heaven, healing after (or hopefully before) divorce can only come through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

Our first parents provided an example of a marriage that was the full partnership God intends every marriage to be. After being driven from the Garden of Eden, not unlike the way many of us eventually move away from the free rent and food of our parents' homes, Adam, 'began to till the earth... and to eat his bread by the sweat of his brow... And Eve... did labor with him' (Moses 5:1).

Elder Marion G. Romney referenced this passage when he said, 'The word with... is very significant. It means more than physical labor. It connotates a common purpose, understanding, cooperation and love.' He continued, 'Even when circumstances justify a wife's working away from home to support her family, she should be laboring 'with', not on her own nor in conflict with her husband... In Latter-day Saint families the husband and wife must be one' (Relief Society Magazine, Feb. 1968, pp. 85-86).

Adam and Eve worked together, prayed and worshiped together, sacrificed together, taught their children the gospel together, and mourned over wayward children together (see Moses 5:1, 4, 12, 27). They were united with each other and with God.

 The Family: A Proclamation to the World includes this guidance:

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.

Despite our different roles at times, husbands and wives can enjoy full partnership with their spouse when they take care to work with each other rather than merely working near each other. We must pray together, respect each other, forgive each other and have fun together.

A full partnership means we will always have a friend with whom we can frequently counsel about the decisions and activities of our family. It means having someone by your side as you approach the Lord with your questions. It means having a therapist when you're struggling to learn and grow, a copilot when there's a long drive ahead and someone to laugh with you when you just can't hold it in any longer.

We will experience the greatest happiness in marriage when we are willing to commit all we have and are to the fidelity and success of our marriage covenants. That is, we will experience the greatest happiness in marriage when we are willing to commit all we have and are to the happiness of our spouse.

Adam and Eve, as man and wife, were unified physically and spiritually. They worked together in full partnership, progressed together down the path of life, and were recognized in the eyes of the Lord as one.

As with our first parents, so it may be with us. Each of us may become perfect or complete as we, having already become one with Christ through baptism, join ourselves by covenant to a man or woman with whom we correspond and fit together. Most often we will choose to share a common name as an outward symbol of our inward covenant. Then, working together in full partnership and having our covenants sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise, we may find joy in this life and exaltation in the world to come.

Moments That Matter Most

We would do well to slow down a little... focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and truly see the things that matter most... Strength comes not from frantic activity but from being settled on a firm foundation of truth and light. It comes from paying attention to the divine things that matter most... Diligently doing the things that matter most will lead us to the Savior of the world.

~President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

A Relationship Collage

Sometimes in the scriptures, particularly in the New Testament, it seems as though the text randomly and very suddenly jumps from one subject to another. One moment we're reading about forgiveness, the next about salt or sheep or coins, and the next about faith or knocking on doors or picking motes or beams from our eyes. The seeming disjointedness has often contributed to my own perception of the Bible as a more difficult text than its Book of Mormon counterpart.

That changed a little bit this week as my wife helped me see the connections in the seemingly unrelated passages of Matthew chapter 18. Focusing on the connections, rather than the apparent lack of connections, turned an obstacle into a blessing as I saw the Bible in a whole new light.

In Matthew 18, Christ teaches his disciples about caring for children, plucking out eyes or cutting of hands that offend us, seeking for lost sheep, dealing with those who have offended us and a king who forgave an unforgiving servant before delivering him to the tormentors because of his unforgivingness. Each passage seemed to be independently useful, but tangent from any core theme or moral.

Read more carefully, and inserting the Joseph Smith translations where they appear, the lesson transforms into a collage of focused doctrine, stories and experiences on a single theme. It began with this question: "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"

Using a child as an example, Christ responded: Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 18:2-3). Remembering the teachings of Paul (Romans 8:16-17) and King Benjamin (Mosiah 5:7-8), we can understand from this reply that as we humble ourselves and take His name upon us through baptism, we may become joint heirs with Christ of all the Father has. The greatest in the kingdom of heaven are those who make and keep the baptismal covenant, returning through the Atonement to the Celestial Kingdom with the innocence of small children. Adding the requirement of faith in verse six, Christ  provides a complete, profound yet succinct answer to the question.

Having highlighted our relationship with our Heavenly Father in his reply, the Savior then takes the rest of the chapter to teach us about our earthly relationships. This should sound familiar to those who have listened to any of the modern sessions of General Conference, which also tend to teach the gospel in a family-centered context. The essence of all of our relationships, Christ teaches, must be to prepare each other to return to live with God. He explains that:

If thy hand or they foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire. And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire. And a man's hand is his friend, and his foot, also; and a man's eye, are they of his own household.


In other words, it is better to end a relationship with a friend or family member than to miss your opportunity to live forever with your Heavenly Father because that relationship drug you down.

Recognizing this as the extreme case, Christ works backward toward the more forgiving ideal. While terminating relationships is an unfortunate possibility, just as our Father cast out Lucifer, the seriousness of that prospect demands additional attention. In this middle ground between ending relationships and the ideal forgiveness, Christ clarifies that we must do all we can to recover the relationships and the souls involved with three specific steps:

First, if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou has gained thy brother.


Next, if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.


And finally, if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church; but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. 


What the disciplinary councils of the Church bind on earth is also bound in heaven (Matthew 18:18-19). That means that an unrepentant person who is excommunicated from the Church is also removed from his or her fellowship with Christ. They no longer bear his name nor do they qualify to enter the Celestial Kingdom of God. The very salvation of that soul is at great risk, so Christ promises that disciplinary councils will not face the decision alone: For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. 


We are all children of a loving Heavenly Father. We can become pure as a little child and inherit eternal life from our Father in Heaven if we will be humble before Him and enter with faith into the covenant of baptism. Baptism is the covenant that allows us access to the full redeeming power of the Atonement. This is our relationship with God.

Because we are dependent upon the Lord's forgiveness of our every misdeed, we should also be quick to forgive others of their offenses against us. This is the ideal outlined at the end of Matthew 18. No collection of offenses they may have committed against us surpasses the mountain of offenses we have committed against the eternal laws of God. We should settle each offense against us with compassion for the offender.

In some situations, certain offenses may need to be escalated from a private discussion. A family, neighborhood, judicial court or other small group may be called upon to resolve an offense. Even still, compassion is required to provide every possible opportunity for the offended and the offender to recoup their stressed relationship with each other and reinforce their individual relationships with Christ.

When offenses cannot be resolved between individuals or a group of individuals, the disciplinary councils of the Church may intervene. Christ attends every such council and it is the Savior, our eternal judge alongside the Father, who directs the decisions of the disciplinary councils of the Church. Decisions made in these councils are binding on earth and in heaven.

Of those who refuse to hear the voice of the Lord in the councils of the Church, the Lord says to, let them be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican...for it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed than to have friends or family and be cast into hell fire.

So it comes full circle. Seeking the connections in the scriptures has highlighted a collage of principles and doctrines that I previously had not seen. The greatest in the kingdom of heaven are those who make and keep covenant relationships. We form one such relationship with our baptism. Others are forged in the temple, when we welcome a new child into the world or as we become one with our fellow Saints.

May each of us gain the light and truth we need for our lives as we search the scriptures, and may we live worthy to sustain and uphold our covenant relationships.

Eternal Families

My wife and I were asked to talk in sacrament meeting today. With the special help of Sister Beck, here's what I came up with:

I love to read the Book of Mormon. I testify that it is the word of God to our dispensation; I know that I have grown closer to God as I have pondered and applied its teachings.

One of the things I have noticed in the Book of Mormon is that it is a story of families. Most of us are familiar with the struggles, blessings, conflicts and miracles of Nephi’s family, for example. Though the specific details may be different, I have often been able to relate to members of that family. Sometimes I have been one of the siblings that were not getting along or the son causing concern for my parents. At other times I have been directed by the Spirit to help a family member or provided support to a brother or sister in need. Though a young parent, I am beginning to better understand Lehi’s concerned pleas and Sariah’s desperation-turned-to-joy when her sons return home safely from a long journey. The families of the Book of Mormon provide invaluable, real-life lessons. Because they faced challenges similar to our own, Book of Mormon families can also show us ahead of time how our decisions today may affect our family’s future.

Most of us are also familiar with the story of the stripling warriors. These 2,060 young men, “did obey and observe to perform every word of command with exactness… and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.” All 2,060 survived conflicts that could be called the World War II of their generation. Their unusual strength astonished the armies around them and even Helaman, their prophet and their general. The Lord was able to preserve these young men because the habits of their childhood homes had established sincere, unwavering faith in each of their hearts.

Tragically, less than 65 years later and in the aftermath of the miraculous signs of the birth of Christ, a converted Lamanite people “began to decrease as to their faith and righteousness, because of the wickedness of the rising generation.” Like the stripling warriors, these young men and women were raised in homes that knew of and believed in the gospel of Jesus Christ, but the rising generation of this time period were not as unwavering. The scriptures record that when these young adults “became for themselves”, they were “led away by some who were Zoramites, by their lyings and their flattering words, to join those Gadianton robbers.”

If we’re not careful, we might look at the stories of the stripling warriors and the rising generation of Gadianton robbers and conclude that it doesn’t matter what we do as parents or as siblings or as children. What’s the point of raising a child in a gospel home of they still may grow up to be robbers and terrorists? This is the type of subtle lie told by our adversary that is increasingly embraced by the world around us.

In truth, God has revealed that every member of a family that desires to be together forever plays a role in helping the family reach their celestial destination. As the mothers of the stripling warriors taught their sons, understanding the role and doctrine of the family can help us and our spouses and children become unwavering in our faith in Christ.

In “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Church leaders we sustain as prophets, seers and revelators proclaimed that “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” That plan is based on the Creation, the Fall, and the Atonement.

The Creation of the earth provided a place where families could live. God created a man and a woman who were the two essential halves of a family. It was part of Heavenly Father’s plan that Adam and Eve be sealed and form an eternal family.

The Fall provided a way for the family to grow. Adam and Eve were family leaders who chose to have a mortal experience. The Fall made it possible for them to have sons and daughters.

The Atonement allows for the family to be sealed together eternally. It allows for families to have eternal growth and perfection. The plan of happiness, also called the plan of salvation, was a plan created for families. As stated in proclamation on the family, the main pillars of our theology are centered in the family.

That means that when we speak of living the gospel or of qualifying for the blessings of eternal life, we mean qualifying for the blessings of eternal families. This was Christ’s doctrine, and it was restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith. It is recorded in Doctrine and Covenants 2:1–3:

“Behold, I will reveal unto you the Priesthood, by the hand of Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.

“And he shall plant in the hearts of the children the promises made to the fathers, and the hearts of the children shall turn to their fathers.

“If it were not so, the whole earth would be utterly wasted at his coming.”

This scripture is talking about temple blessings—ordinances and covenants without which “the whole earth [is] utterly wasted.”

Without the family, there is no plan; there is no reason for mortal life. Understanding the family’s central role in God’s plan for us, we can rightly ask ourselves whether we give our families that same status on our list of priorities. Perhaps the importance of family had something to do with why the stripling warriors were so willing to defend what later generations were recruited to destroy.

I have learned a lot about making family a priority from my in-laws. They do all they can—they use their vacation time at work and drive long distances at odd times of the morning-- to be present for every baby blessing, every baptism and every wedding of every sibling, every nephew, every niece and every grandchild. My wife’s aunts and uncles reciprocate this prioritization and effort. It was easy to see the fruits of their efforts this past Christmastime when all 63 members of their extended family gathered in a Salt Lake City hotel conference room. Not a soul of them were missing, some were there at great sacrifice. None of them would have had it any other way. Over three days I saw this family laugh together, cry together, dance together and pray together—and I laughed, cried, danced and prayed with them. Every member of that family knew they were included, they were loved, and they had something to live up to.

Knowing that the family is central in God’s plan for us, we must also understand that the command to “multiply, and replenish the earth” remains in force. Bearing children is a faith-based work. President Spencer W. Kimball said, “It is an act of extreme selfishness for a married couple to refuse to have children when they are able to do so.” Motherhood and fatherhood are eternal roles. Each carries the responsibility for either the male or the female half of the plan.

Elder Hales has taught: “The family is not an accident of mortality. It existed as an organizational unit in the heavens before the world was formed; historically, it started on earth with Adam and Eve, as recorded in Genesis. Adam and Eve were married and sealed for time and all eternity by the Lord, and as a result their family will exist eternally.”

As we are sealed to our families in the temple and keep those sacred covenants, our families may partake in the blessings of Abraham. Included in these blessings is the promise of numerous posterity, descendants who would receive the gospel and bear the priesthood, and descendants who will bring the gospel to all the world. In effect, if we are truly keeping our temple covenants, we will be doing the things that will help our children become stripling warriors instead of Gadiantons.

The prophets and apostles are constantly reminding us to keep the covenants we have made to God and our families. Listen to some of the counsel given just this last conference about our families:

Elder Bednar counseled, “Each of us should consider seriously and ponder prayerfully how we can reject the devil’s enticements and righteously “apply unto it,” even the spirit of revelation, in our personal lives and families.”

Elder Scott taught us beautifully: “If you are a young man of appropriate age and are not married, don’t waste time in idle pursuits. Get on with life and focus on getting married. Don’t just coast through this period of life. Young men, serve a worthy mission. Then make your highest priority finding a worthy, eternal companion… If you have found someone, you can form an extraordinarily wonderful courtship and marriage and be very, very happy eternally by staying within the bounds of worthiness the Lord has established.”

He encouraged the brethren to lead out in family activities such as scripture study and family home evening. He encouraged us to express our love and gratitude out loud and often, and to nurture our children in love.

President Monson asked us to: “Realize that you will not be able to anticipate every challenge which may arise, but be assured that almost anything can be worked out if you are resourceful and if you are committed to making your marriage work…. if you are committed to the success of your marriage, there is nothing in this life which will bring you greater happiness.”

He encouraged us to be fiercely loyal and ever so kind to our spouses and our families, and reminded us successful marriages are generally more about being the right person than marrying the right person. He concluded his remarks on family with this plea:

“If any of you are having difficulty in your marriage, I urge you to do all that you can to make whatever repairs are necessary, that you might be as happy as you were when your marriage started out. We who are married in the house of the Lord do so for time and for all eternity, and then we must put forth the necessary effort to make it so. I realize that there are situations where marriages cannot be saved, but I feel strongly that for the most part they can be and should be. Do not let your marriage get to the point where it is in jeopardy.”

Our charge is to live in our homes, in our families, and in our marriages so that our spouses and our children will develop hope for eternal life from watching us. We must live and teach our families with so much clarity that what we teach will cut through all the noise of the world. We must be brilliant in the basics and intentional about our roles and responsibilities in the family. Great hope will come in a family that studies their scriptures together, has family home evening, makes mealtimes a priority and speaks respectfully of one another.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is true. It was restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith. We are sons and daughters of heavenly parents, who sent us forth to have this earthly experience to prepare us for the blessing of eternal families. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ we can become perfect and equal to our responsibilities in our earthly families and have the promise of eternal families after death.