As I Have Loved You

The scriptures tell us that 'God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son' (John 3:16). This divine gift made possible the resurrection of mankind and the salvation of the faithful. We are taught by the Savior that we may 'come unto him' and be perfected, allowing us to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father, if we will exercise faith, repent, be baptized by immersion for the remission of sins, receive the gift of the Holy Ghost and endure to the end.

As a part of our baptismal covenant we make with God, we promise to be willing to keep his commandments. It was this topic that brought an inquiring lawyer to Christ in Matthew 22. 'Master,' he asked, 'which is the great commandment in the law?'

Jesus answered, 'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets' (Matthew 22:36-40).

Love of God is a natural result of obedience and sincere seeking. Christ taught, 'If ye love me, keep my commandments' (John 14:15) . As we pray and study the scriptures our desires change, our behaviors follow, and we learn to love God and the fruits of obedience.

Our obligation to our fellow man can sometimes seem much more complicated, despite being extremely well outlined in scripture. Consider this familiar passage from the Sermon on the Mount:

Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.

Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;  That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven (Matthew 5:38-45).

Other scriptures invite us to 'forgive men their trespasses', 'judge not' and treat others how we would like to be treated. Christ explained our obligation to our fellow man this way:

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another (John 13:34-35).

Though we understand the principle generally, we all fail from time to time in our efforts to love one another as broadly and as genuinely as the Lord requires of us. Each of us behaves at times as though loving others is just one of the ways we should treat others instead of the only way.

The truth is that God has never given us permission to get angry at a bad driver, make fun of another person's mistake or roll our eyes at the lady holding up the grocery store line with a big stack of coupons. We are not called to keep order in the universe through micromanaging, controlling or intimidating others to do what we want. Nor is the Lord pleased when we are harsh, critical, sarcastic, patronizing, scolding or negative in any way to our brothers and sisters with whom we share our time on earth.

Even the best intentions cannot justify these behaviors. Elder H. Burke Peterson once explained it this way, referring to criticism specifically:

I personally have a hard time with people who say they believe in constructive criticism. My experience does not lead me to believe there is such a thing. My point of view is that criticism has a connotation that does not come from above. I think it is important to note that correction is different from criticism. The Lord discussed correction in his revelation to the Prophet Joseph Smith. He emphasized that any corrections are to be performed when 'moved upon by the Holy Ghost.' If we are inspired to chastise, however, the Lord insists that there be 'an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy.'

Criticism is more judgment-oriented than correction, and most of us do not have sufficient knowledge to be critical of others--especially of a spouse and children who are still growing and developing as we are ('Eternal Companions:Advice from LDS Counselors and Educators on Building a Forever Marriage', 4).

So the Lord warns us that it is the 'nature and disposition of almost all men', and it's not a stretch to include many women here also, to 'exercise unrighteous dominion' at every opportunity. That reminder of our natural shortcomings is followed by this profound doctrine referenced by Elder Peterson:

No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile-- Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy (D&C 121:39-43).

These verses teach us again that we we should treat those around us with kindness, gentleness, meekness and sincerity-- or, in other words, with love. This is the second great commandment behind loving God.

Loving others doesn't mean the world will seem like springtime all the time. Sometimes love means correcting or teaching those for whom we have stewardship just as God chastises those whom he loves. Sometimes love means we will ache as we allow our loved ones use their agency, especially when mistakes seem to us like they could have been avoided or prevented.

Sometimes our loved ones may not appreciate how we show our love or may feel that we cannot love them without also accepting their wrong or sinful behaviors. We don't ever have to compromise gospel standards to have love for those who may not share the same ideals-- it is God who gives us love, after all. If we have genuine love for others, we will love them as Christ loves us. We will be patient and kind. We will disagree and even correct, where appropriate, without becoming hostile.

What matters in the end is whether we have been striving to keep the commandments to love God and love our fellow man. As we dedicate our hearts, minds and strength to this effort, let us consider how well we love those around us. Can our spouse feel our love by the way we treat them? Do we allow love to guide our parenting instead of our own preferences, convenience and comfort? Do our coworkers enjoy being around us because of the way they are treated? Are those we do not yet know pleased to meet us because of the way we make them feel?

God gave his Only Begotten because he loves us. His gift makes it possible to inherit all that he has. He asks in return that we strive to be like him-- to love others as he loves them, not as only one way we can treat them but as the only way. As we obey the command to love our fellow man, we will also find that our love of God will increase and we will become true disciples.

By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

Pray for Love

Family Disputes in Scripture

In his most recent General Conference address, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf helped us all understand a little more of what the gospel says about strained family relationships. He titled his remarks, "The Merciful Obtain Mercy", intended to remind us all that "with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again."

The scriptures, as always, include instructions on how to respond to strain and pressure on our family relationships. They teach us that these struggles are as old as time itself: Lucifer rebelled against God and divided our premortal family; Cain slew his brother, Abel, in the earliest years of human existence. The root causes of these and other family disputes-- pride, envy, lust for power and others-- are a part of our human natures; the scriptures remind us that our challenge is to put off the natural man and become a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord (Mosiah 3:19).

One particularly instructive example is the Old Testament story of Joseph. Joseph was the favorite son of his father and was blessed with the spiritual gifts to have and interpret dreams. Some of his dreams prophesied that his family would one day make obeisance to him. Joseph's brothers became angry with what they saw as Joseph's haughtiness and favored treatment from their father. Some of his brothers wanted to kill him. Reuben and Judah convinced their brothers to spare Joseph's life and sell him to a caravan instead.

Joseph spent several years as a slave and as a prisoner because of his brothers' actions. When Joseph encounters his brothers again in Egypt there were anxious moments. At first, Joseph didn't want his brothers to recognize him. Now in a position of power, Joseph was in a position to exact revenge on his brothers if he desired. He could've sent them to prison, sold them as slaves or had them killed. Instead, Joseph orchestrated the reunion of the entire family and saved their lives by providing much-needed grain in a terrible drought.

Nephi also experienced contention in his family. His brothers, Laman and Lemuel, beat him with a rod, tied him up and tried to kill him on more than one occasion. Nephi's in-laws were prone to complaining and sometimes helped Laman and Lemuel attack their brother, Nephi. Even Nephi's dad, a prophet of God, complained against Nephi to the point that he must be severely chastised.

As with Joseph, Nephi surely had some anxious family moments. Before his brothers attempted murder, there were surely disagreements and fights just as in Joseph's family. Nephi and Joseph chose to forgive, even when their offending brethren were unrepentant. In Nephi's case, he eventually had to move his family away from his violent and dangerous brothers. His story doesn't have the happy ending that Joseph's does. But in each case, the Lord used the trials to the benefit of those willing to forgive-- and as a testament against those who persecuted them. Joseph became an overseer in Egypt and the birthright son of his father, Israel. Nephi prospered in the promised land as a prophet and king.

In our families, we are likely to experience strain on our family relationships like Joseph and Nephi did. We may not see the resolution to these disputes that we would like, just as Nephi was unable to persuade his brothers to be humble and seek after righteousness. Sometimes divorce, separation or muted lines of communication will happen or even must happen to protect our families.As we choose to forgive anyway, we will experience what President Uchtdorf explained in his address:

The more we allow the love of God to govern our minds and emotions—the more we allow our love for our Heavenly Father to swell within our hearts—the easier it is to love others with the pure love of Christ. As we open our hearts to the glowing dawn of the love of God, the darkness and cold of animosity and envy will eventually fade...

People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way.

Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord’s way.

He concluded with a challenge that would be good for each of us to observe:

Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive.

Lay your burden at the Savior’s feet. Let go of judgment. Allow Christ’s Atonement to change and heal your heart. Love one another. Forgive one another.

Life Advice from Elder Busche

Elder F. Enzio Busche was a member of the First Quorum of Seventy from 1977 until given emeritus status in 2000.

Your Personal Restoration

In 1820, the young Joseph Smith saw God, our Heavenly Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ, starting a domino chain of events that would lead to the restoration of the organization, doctrine and authority of Christ's ancient church. This restoration brought back the gospel in its purity, filling in gaps and correcting popular theologies in a way only achievable by the divine. Once completed, the modern gospel looks exactly like the old one, and is a vibrant, living pattern of revelation and salvation.

Likewise, Alma teaches that each of us will be restored: "Behold, it is requisite and just, according to the power and resurrection of Christ, that the soul of man should be restored to its body, and that every part of the body should be restored to itself" (Alma 41:2). He continues: "Therefore, all things shall be restored to their proper order, every thing to its natural frame-- mortality raised to immortality, corruption to incorruption" (Alma 41:4).

Alma is, of course, speaking of the resurrection. Thought of, as Alma teaches, as a restoration, we can compare our resurrection to the restoration of an old car.

The rusted frame of the old car might catch a skilled mechanic's eye as he wonders through a junkyard or drives down a lonely country road. Carefully, the mechanic will transport the old car to his garage and go to work. He will search for engine parts, a new dash, tires, seats, and mirrors. Over time, he will return the pieces of the engine to their proper places to make it run; he will install floorboards, upholstery, windows and a radio; he will sand and paint the frame-- usually with flames-- and shine chrome bumpers and hubcaps. When it is finished, the master mechanic will have restored the car to its new condition-- sometimes better than new.

So it is with us. Christ, our creator and master mechanic, has made possible our restoration through his atonement and resurrection. He wants to restore us to the presence of our Heavenly Father (Alma 42:23). But just as a mechanic cannot restore a '59 Chevy into anything other than a '59 Chevy, however, Christ cannot restore us into something we are not.

Alma explains: "The meaning of the word restoration is to bring back again evil for evil, or carnal for carnal, or devilish for devilish-- good for that which is good; righteous for that which is righteous; just for that which is just; merciful for that which is merciful" (Alma 41:13). We could continue that list: lust for lust; joy for joy; appetite for appetite; friendship for friendship; grudge for grudge; thought for thought; etc. "And that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there..." (D&C 130:2).

If we will be restored to the same creatures we turn ourselves into, the call to action is clear. Again, Alma teaches: "Therefore... see that you are merciful unto your brethren; deal justly, judge righteously, and do good continually; and if ye do all these things then shall ye receive your reward; yea, ye shall have mercy restored unto you again; ye shall have justice restored unto you again; ye shall have a righteous judgment restored unto you again; and ye shall have good rewarded unto you again. For that which ye do send out shall return to you again, and be restored" (Alma 41:14-15, emphasis added).

Like it or not, we all live the golden rule. As we do unto others, even so will God, who owns all vengeance, all mercy and all that is, restore likewise unto us. And so we become our own judges, in a way, and decide our own fate. Let us choose the fate of kindness, of long-suffering, of generosity and goodness. Let us choose to be the kind of people we want to be when we're resurrected, for "all things shall be restored to their proper order, every thing to its natural frame--mortality raised to immortality, corruption to incorruption-- raised to endless happiness to inherit the kingdom of God, or to endless misery to inherit the kingdom of the devil" (Alma 41:4). Let us then choose to behave as though the kingdom of God were already here; for only then can we assure that we'll be here when it arrives.