Finding Swing

It is awesome, in the true sense of that word, to watch Olympic athletes compete in swimming, gymnastics, track, basketball, volleyball, and all of the other events. One of the events that I will watch a little closer this year is rowing.

Honestly, I wasn’t particularly interested in rowing until I read the book The Boys in the Boat that was recently made into a movie. That story follows the 1936 men’s rowing team from the University of Washington, which seemed to have every disadvantage. They were from working class families in small lumber and mining towns and didn’t have the resources of their competition. Many of the team were new to rowing and no one outside of the team believed they could win. Despite the disadvantages, Washington beat the elite teams at Navy and Cal to represent the United States at the Olympics in Germany.

Adolf Hitler saw the 1936 Olympics as an opportunity to prove Aryan supremacy and German dominance to the world. On the day of the final race, with Hitler looking on, German officials decided that the slowest qualifiers—Germany and Italy—should be in the most protected lanes. The American team would have the roughest water, some of the team members had become seriously ill, and the wind made it difficult to hear the coxswain who shouted instructions from the front of the boat. But during the race, something happened that rowers call “swing.” The book describes it this way:

There is a thing that sometimes happens that is hard to achieve and hard to define. It’s called “swing.” It happens only when all are rowing in such perfect unison that not a single action is out of sync.

Rowers must rein in their fierce independence and at the same time hold true to their individual capabilities. Races are not won by clones. Good crews are good blends—someone to lead the charge, someone to hold something in reserve, someone to fight the fight, someone to make peace. No rower is more valuable than another, all are assets to the boat, but if they are to row well together, each must adjust to the needs and capabilities of the others—the shorter-armed person reaching a little farther, the longer-armed person pulling in just a bit.

Differences can be turned to advantage instead of disadvantage. Only then will it feel as if the boat is moving on its own. Only then does pain entirely give way to exultation. Good “swing” feels like poetry. 

The members of that team describe those moments of “swing” as a holy experience that meant even more than winning Olympic Gold. That lingering feeling stayed with them all of their lives.

There are at least four ways the Lord has invited us to have swing in our lives. We are to be one with ourselves, one with our spouses, one with God, and one with our fellowman.

Elder Packer once told of a severe winter in Utah when deep snow had driven the deer very low into some of the valleys. Seeing that the deer were out of their natural habitat, some well-meaning agencies tried to respond by bringing in hay for the deer to eat. Unfortunately, many of the deer were later found dead. Those who handled the animals afterward said that the deer had starved to death with stomachs full of hay. The deer had been fed, but they had not been nourished and the hay they could not digest left no room for the nutrition they needed to survive.

In a similar way, there are influences all around us that try to fill us with messages that can starve our souls and distract us from those things that would bring genuine physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health. We are encouraged to incur debt to “live our best life” and appear more prosperous than we really are. There is an abundance of food that is more harmful than helpful to our bodies. Tribalized news is on every channel to feed our individual and collective confirmation biases and maintain a constant sense of righteous indignation. There is an endless supply of games and other virtual experiences that give us fake successes and a hollow kind of confidence as imaginary sports superstars, army snipers, farm managers, and even city managers. We hear of people who look for love and connection online only to learn their affections were based on false representations. Despite the volume, there is little nourishment in these offerings. They are literally unbelievable.

“The Lord knows who we really are, what we really think, what we really do, and who we are really becoming” (Bednar, Things as They Really Are, June 2010).  As spirit sons and daughters of God, the Family proclamation says we “accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize [our] divine destiny as heirs of eternal life.”

The scriptures and living prophets have taught us that we will experience greater joy in our lives when there is high fidelity between who we really are and the person we are being on the outside. Being one with ourselves includes focusing on what is real—real opportunities to share a hug or serve a neighbor, real achievements as we strive toward personal and family goals, real food including vegetables, fruits, and whole grains, real prosperity through self-reliance, and the reality of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the redemptive and enabling power it can bring into our lives. We should be the same person alone, at home, at work, online, with friends, and in public. Having swing in our lives requires us to spend time with ourselves, evaluate how we are doing from time to time, see how we have changed, and make plans and goals to help us grow into our full and divine potential.

Steven Covey wrote in his popular 7 Habits book about a cycle of maturity that we all experience. As children, we are dependent on others for everything. As teenagers and young adults, we become independent and able to provide for our own needs. When we then surrender our independence to become interdependent with another person, the results are consistently greater than the sum of the parts.

The City of Enoch experienced interdependence on a societal scale. As they lived the law of consecration, they were able to completely eliminate all poverty from their community. Spiritual interdependence facilitated such righteousness, such harmony and “swing,” that the entire city was taken from the earth and promoted, as it were, to a terrestrial world.

Our marriages are intended to be interdependent, exalting relationships like the City of Enoch. Elder Bednar has taught:

By divine design, men and women are intended to progress together toward perfection and a fulness of glory. Because of their distinctive temperaments and capacities, males and females each bring to a marriage relationship unique perspectives and experiences. The man and the woman contribute differently but equally to a oneness and a unity that can be achieved in no other way. The man completes and perfects the woman and the woman completes and perfects the man as they learn from and mutually strengthen and bless each other. “Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord" (1 Cor. 11:11; emphasis added).

Our First Parents provided an example of the full partnership God intends every marriage to be. After being driven from the Garden of Eden, and the free rent and food provided there, Adam, “began to till the earth... and to eat his bread by the sweat of his brow... And Eve... did labor with him” (Moses 5:1).

Elder Marion G. Romney referenced this passage when he said, “The word with... is very significant. It means more than physical labor. It connotates a common purpose, understanding, cooperation and love… In Latter-day Saint families the husband and wife must be one.”

Despite our different roles at times, husbands and wives can enjoy full partnership with their spouse when they take care to work with each other rather than merely working near each other. The Family Proclamation counsels couples to pray together, respect each other, forgive one another, have fun together, and help one another as equal partners.

When Tara and I were married, she had already graduated from BYU and was teaching at a nearby elementary school. She had a newer car, a rented duplex, and minimal debt. I, on the other hand, was sleeping on a buddy’s couch with no car and a growing collection of student loans.

With our marriage, we became a family unit. In the spirit of consecration, each of us gave what we had to our newly-formed family. I became a proud co-owner of a little white Hyundai and the folks at the student loan office were suddenly very interested in Tara’s contact information.

A similar thing happens to us on the day we step into the waters of baptism. When we are baptized, we covenant with the Lord that we will always be willing to keep his commandments, remember him and take his name upon ourselves like a bride takes the name of her groom. In other words, we covenant that we are willing to be one entity with our Savior in the eyes of eternal law.

In the spirit of consecration, we give our debt of sin and imperfection to the newly-formed entity. At the same time, the Lord offers up his wealth of grace available through his infinite Atonement. Imagining for a moment that we could measure our sin with a number, the principles of mathematics tell us that it does not matter whether that number is negative six or negative six hundred trillion. Both of these numbers are equally imperfect and yet, when added to a perfect and infinite Atonement, both numbers are completely wiped out. Negative six plus infinity is infinity. Negative six hundred trillion plus infinity is infinity. In this way, though we are not perfect, each of us can be declared perfect as a consequence of our unity with our perfect Savior, made possible through a covenant or contract that is valid in the sight of eternal law, making us joint-heirs with Christ of all the Father has (Romans 8:17).

Our covenant agreement with the Lord requires us to work with Him in the same way that Eve worked with Adam. With an eye single to the glory of God, we must rein in our fierce independence, and the natural man, and at the same time hold true to our individual capabilities to do good and accomplish the mission the Lord has in store for us.

Elder Uchtdorf has taught:

Our relationship with God is most sacred and vital. We are His spirit children. He is our Father. He desires our happiness. As we seek Him, as we learn of His Son, Jesus Christ, as we open our hearts to the influence of the Holy Spirit, our lives become more stable and secure. We experience greater peace, joy, and fulfillment as we give our best to live according to God's eternal plan and keep his commandments.

We improve our relationship with our Heavenly Father by learning of Him, by communing with Him, by repenting of our sins, and by actively following Jesus Christ... To strengthen our relationship with God, we need some meaningful alone time with Him. Quietly focusing on daily personal prayer and scripture study, always aiming to be worthy of a current temple recommend-- these will be some wise investments of our time and efforts to draw closer to our Heavenly Father.

The kind of prayer that builds unity with God comes from the depths of our souls. It requires self-reflection and studying our thoughts, desires, and decisions before we approach the Lord. Elder Porter once taught that “God knows our innermost thoughts and feelings even better than we do, but as we learn to share them with Him, we make it possible for His Spirit to enter our souls and teach us more about our own selves and about the nature of God. By making ourselves totally honest, open, and submissive before God, our hearts become more receptive to His counsel and His will.”  In other words, as we spend time in heartfelt prayer, we can become one in purpose with our Heavenly Father.

As we open our hearts to the will of God, and strive to become one with Him, He will teach us about two gospels. The first is a preparatory gospel that focuses on learning obedience and receiving the blessings promised for our faithfulness. The preparatory gospel builds the foundation for our testimony with checklists and formulas to guide our obedient lives, deal with perceived scarcity, and do our duty.

In the Aaronic or Preparatory Priesthood, for example, prayers for the sacrament and baptism are provided verbatim. The Law of Tithing is a preparatory law that prescribes an amount to give back to the Lord-- no more, no less-- and is often associated with specific blessings for our obedience. In Primary we learn formulas that help us know how to say a prayer and how to repent of our sins. The former Boy Scouts and Young Women Personal Progress programs outlined specific actions that, if completed, earned merit badges or medallions or other external recognitions that were indicative of our progress and development. Prior home and visiting teaching efforts were also somewhat scripted with a monthly message in the Ensign and a leader calling at the end of each month to see if you had made the visits you were assigned.

Parallel to the preparatory gospel is a second phase of learning and development we might call the "higher law" or the "fullness of the gospel". The principles of the gospel in this phase build upon and are inseparably connected with those of the preparatory gospel, yet here our discipleship is no longer transactional. We still obey the commandments with all of our hearts, but we do so because we love the Lord more than we expect a blessing. We learn to give without expecting anything in return because we love God's children and want to bless their lives (see John 13:34-35).

In the higher law, we abandon the checklists and formulas that sometimes lead to unrighteous judgements of others or assumptions that only a few of God's children will be saved. In their place, we learn to follow promptings of the spirit and act on the circumstances of the moment. We come to know the abundance of the Lord: that He who multiplied the loaves and fishes has blessings and salvation for "all the works of his hands" (D&C 76:43) and He has asked us to return to Him in groups.

Just as obedience is the appropriate focus of the preparatory gospel, with 613 commandments in the Law of Moses to practice that obedience, the fullness of the gospel, the Law of Christ, highlights only two: to love God and love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-40). When two holders of the Melchizedek Priesthood lay their hands on someone's head to give them a blessing, demonstrating this love for God and their fellow man, the spirit guides their words accordingly. We are all likewise called to practice loving others and following the resulting promptings of the spirit as we gather together at church and as families, minister to one another, set goals with our children and youth, and begin to live the law of consecration with our time, talents, and resources.

Ultimately, we cannot be one with God without also striving to be of one heart and one mind with those around us. If God loves His children, and I testify that he does, than one way to be one with him is to strive to love those same children of our Heavenly Father. 

As he introduced the transition from home and visiting teaching to ministering, Elder Holland said:

Brothers and sisters, we have a heaven-sent opportunity as an entire Church to demonstrate ‘pure religion … undefiled before God’—'to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light’ and to ‘comfort those that stand in need of comfort,’ to minister to the widows and the fatherless, the married and the single, the strong and the distraught, the downtrodden and the robust, the happy and the sad—in short, all of us, every one of us, because we all need to feel the warm hand of friendship and hear the firm declaration of faith… As [we do so,] we lift our spiritual eyes toward living the law of love more universally."]

Can you imagine a society where each of us was one with ourselves, one with our spouses, one with God, and one with our fellowman? A society where we all brought our talents and experiences into perfect swing? I feel like I can only start to glimpse what that might be like and it is awesome in the truest sense of that word.

Mary's Example of Faithful Discipleship

Madonna and Child by Giovanni Battista Salvi de Sassoferrato

Hundreds of years before her birth, prophets foretold of “a precious and chosen vessel” (Alma 7:10), “most beautiful and fair” (1 Nephi 11:15), who would be “the mother of the Son of God, after the flesh” (1 Nephi 11:18) and she would “be called Mary” (Mosiah 3:8). Mary, the mother of Jesus, is one of only a handful of women mentioned in the scriptures. Though we get only brief glimpses into her life, those insights provide an example of faithful discipleship that we can learn from and follow today.

Mary was from Nazareth, a small town with less than 500 people located on a low hill about 65 miles north of Jerusalem. You can imagine the village surrounded by modest fields and grazing livestock that the locals used to eek out a living. Mary was a descendant of King David, but there were no riches here and no royal privileges under the Roman occupation (Strathern).

Nazareth didn't have fortifications, monuments, or luxurious architecture with marble and mosaics. The roads were not paved and most of the homes were two-room dwellings with thatched roofs. Later, when word of Jesus Christ of Nazareth spread, Nathaniel would wonder aloud what many must have thought more privately, “Can any good thing come out of Nazareth?” (John 1:46).

We don't know anything about Mary's parents or her upbringing, but most likely she would have seemed like an ordinary peasant girl raised in an insignificant, rural Jewish town. “Even as a young girl, she would have worked beside her mother and the other women of the village, weaving cloth, cooking, gathering firewood, collecting water from the household cisterns or village wells, and working in the fields—all to help her family survive from day to day” (Strathern).

The first thing we learn about Mary is that she is engaged to be married to Joseph, a fact that would have been widely known in a small town like Nazareth. We do not know how old Mary was at the time, but she was most likely a teenager. Marriage contracts in ancient Israel could sometimes be arranged even before puberty.

It was to these humble circumstances that an angel was sent to fulfill a prophecy and issue a call to serve. The angel was Gabriel, who was the Old Testament prophet Noah in his mortal life. Joseph Smith taught that “Noah, who is Gabriel… stands next in authority to Adam in the Priesthood,” like a first counselor in a First Presidency to govern all the earth.

Gabriel is also sometimes known as Elias. Elias means forerunner or preparer of the way. In that role, he has been given “the keys of bringing to pass the restoration of all things spoken by the mouth of all the holy prophets since the world began” (D&C 27:6).

It is important to note that Noah, or Gabriel, is not the only Elias in scripture, but he is the one sent to Zacharias in the temple to proclaim the birth of John the Baptist. Zacharias doubted that his wife, Elizabeth, could bear a son at her age and was struck dumb as a result. Yet, Elizabeth, who was Mary's cousin, did conceive.

Six months later, that same Elias came to Mary, “and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women. And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be” (Luke 1:28-29).

Can you imagine the questions Mary must have had in this moment? Why was this angel saluting her, a seemingly ordinary young woman in an insignificant village far from Jerusalem? How was she ‘blessed among women’-- and what does that even mean? She listened as the angel continued.

“And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name Jesus. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David: And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end” (Luke 1:30-33).

Mary's response echoes the faith of Nephi, who proclaimed in his youth that he knew the Lord would provide a way to accomplish all of his commandments (1 Nephi 3:7). 

“Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?” (Luke 1:34). Zacharias had asked a similar question, “Whereby shall I know [that Elizabeth would bear a son]?” (Luke 1:18), but Mary's question sought clarification rather than expressing skepticism. She already believed what Gabriel had declared and she had already resolved in her heart, likely long before this conversation, that she would do God’s will. “Questions are inevitable when God’s invitations challenge disciples to raise the bar and move out of their comfort zones, and inspired questions lead to revelation” (Strathern).

Gabriel revealed the answer to Mary's question and then shared the news that Mary's cousin, Elizabeth, would also miraculously bear a child. “For with God nothing shall be impossible” (Luke 1:37). 

In the Garden of Gethsemane, our Savior and Redeemer appealed to our Heavenly Father to provide another option before submitting, “nevertheless, not my will, but thine be done” (Luke 22:42). Mary did not know everything she was being asked to do. She did not know that this calling would make her a refugee in Egypt or that she would frantically search for her twelve-year-old son and find him teaching in the temple or that she would watch him be tortured and killed on a cruel cross. She didn't know how Joseph would react to the news or whether she would end up facing public embarrassment for a pregnancy no one else could understand or believe. Simeon would later prophecy to her that “a sword shall pierce through thy own soul also” (Luke 2:35), but all Mary knew in that moment was that God had asked her to be the mother of the promised Messiah, a calling that would last a lifetime and beyond, and that she was willing to do God’s will, just as her son would be willing as he suffered in Gethsemane.

 “And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her” (Luke 1:38).

Just as Eve led Adam to the Fall, whereby they could bring children into the world, Mary led Joseph to raising the child who would save the world from the effects of the Fall. Joseph was also visited by the angel Gabriel, Adam's right hand man, and Joseph, like Adam, had the wisdom to support and follow the example of his wife.

Mary, meanwhile, was required to walk by faith. She received some evidences and confirmations, including the visit from Gabriel and the testimony of her cousin, Elizabeth, whom she visited after learning they both would be mothers by miraculous means. She knew she became pregnant and bore a son, as the angel had prophesied.

But in the midst of the experience, Mary still sought to better understand the calling that had been given to her. When shepherds came on the night of Christ's birth and told her of angels singing praises to her newborn son, Mary “kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart” (Luke 2:19). When Simeon held the infant Christ child and prophesied he would be a light to the Gentiles and the salvation of all people, Mary and Joseph marveled (Luke 2:25-33). More than a decade after her meeting with Gabriel, Mary found twelve-year-old Jesus teaching in the temple and did not understand what he meant when he said he “must be about [his] father's business,” but “kept all these sayings in her heart” (Luke 2:42-51).

Despite not having a perfect knowledge, Mary did not allow her questions to prevent her from fulfilling the mission she had been given with all her heart, mind, and strength. As a young mother, she fled with her family to Egypt to save her son from a jealous king. Joseph and Mary abandoned plans to settle in the comparatively more prosperous land of Judea because of another king who was a threat to Jesus. They returned instead to Nazareth, where Joseph likely walked four miles to work in Sepphoris six days of the week and then walked four miles home at the end of each day. 

At least at the time Jesus was born, Mary and Joseph were poor and offered the turtledoves or pigeons at the temple expected of those who could not afford a lamb. As many as 4 of every 10 children born at the time did not survive childhood and Mary likely grieved the premature deaths of multiple children. When Jesus was about thirteen years old, Jewish tradition holds that Joseph was killed in a construction accident in Sepphora, leaving Mary on her own with at least seven kids under thirteen years old. Despite her convictions, her four sons who grew up with Jesus did not believe in his divine identity or, by extension, her mission as his mother, until years later in adulthood.

In the midst of challenge, Mary also became the first disciple of the living Christ. In the home of Elizabeth, with the words of Gabriel still ringing in her ears and heart, Mary exclaimed in testimony, “My soul doth magnify the Lord, And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour” (Luke 1:46-47). Her simple faith was tested and expanded with hundreds of small and simple daily experiences that are not recorded, and a few major challenges that are, until it became a firm foundation anchored to her Savior, and her son, Jesus Christ.

Before Christ had performed any public miracle, Mary had complete faith in him. There was a wedding in Cana and Mary was responsible for the wine, which was running out. She turned immediately to Jesus, who even objected a little bit, and then directed the servants, “Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it” (John 2:5).

Mary followed the Savior's travels at least on some occasions and stood at the foot of his cross as he suffered and died a painful death at the hand of an enemy many believed he was there to defeat. Like the disciples, Mary probably did not understand the victory of that moment as she watched her son pay our debts for sin and overcome all the world. Perhaps it seemed like all was lost or that the plan of God, the plan in which she played a crucial role and for which she had sacrificed so much, had now somehow been frustrated.

There is no biblical record, but it makes sense to me that the resurrected Christ would have appeared at some point to his mother. She was the first witness, a chosen vessel, the handmaiden of the Lord who did the Father’s will so that her son, the Creator of heaven and earth, could descend below all things and then be lifted up as a ruler and a judge over all things. She had prevailed in her mission to bring the Son of God to the world so that he, by love, could save the world.

Even if Christ did not appear to his mother in the flesh after his resurrection, surely their reunion after her death must have been special. Mary’s life didn’t get any easier as her remaining sons were converted to and then also became martyrs for the gospel of Jesus Christ. Surely the Savior was there to greet his mother as she passed through the veil and then, as King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and as a son who loved and reverenced his mother and her womanhood throughout his ministry, must have said to her, as to the wise virgins in his parable, “Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world” (Matthew 25:34).

Source: Strathern, Gaye. Mary, the Mother of Jesus. Ensign. January 2019.

The Lord Provides Abundantly When We Act

As a boy, I delighted in making my parents feel old. It got such a good reaction every time. I teased them about gray hairs and new wrinkles and the aches and pains that come with age. These were beyond the horizon of my own future and didn’t seem like anything I would ever need to worry about, but I had a lot of fun asking my parents if they remembered when the pyramids were built or if they knew anyone that fought in the Civil War.

Now I can testify of Alma’s words when he said, “that which ye do send out shall return unto you again” (Alma 41:15). As I continue to age, my kids have carefully observed all of the signs of my mortality and make sure I don’t forget about them. They used shocked voices to exclaim that I was “born in the 1900s” or that something I like is more than thirty years old. All of this is a just restoration of the judgements I once made of my parents.

What I did not anticipate is that my doctor would some day join the fray. I was chagrined recently when I complained about a few things I was experiencing and all he said was, “yeah, that happens.” As we talked, he reminded me of a few basic pillars of health that help all of us enjoy a better quality of life: We need to eat real food, get enough sleep each night, drink plenty of water, and be sure to exercise.

It is insightful to me to realize that none of these are things we can make happen on our own. We can plant seeds in fertile soil, but it is the Lord that makes nutritious grains, fruits, and vegetables grow. We can have a relaxing bedtime routine, but the Lord gives us the gift of sleep. We can dig a well, but the Lord sends the rain and snow to recharge the aquifers we use. We can go for a walk or a hike, but the Lord’s consecrated creation is what makes the right neurons fire or hormones flow so that exercise is a benefit our bodies.

King Benjamin taught that we depend on the Lord to provide our every breath and preserve our lives from moment to moment (Mosiah 2:21). Thankfully, the Lord who created the sands of the sea and the stars in the sky desires to bless us with his abundance.

King David declared:

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever (Psalm 23).

Perhaps this is why the Lord taught the earliest missionaries that they should take “no thought for the morrow, for what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, or wherewithal ye shall be clothed… For your Father, who is in heaven, knoweth that you have need of all these things.” 

The Lord continued, “Neither take ye thought beforehand what ye shall say; but treasure up in your minds continually the words of life, and it shall be given you in the very hour that portion that shall be meted unto every man" (D&C 84:80-85).

At the end of his fourteen-year mission to the Lamanites, Ammon confirmed that missionary success is a gift from God and not necessarily something that we earn on our own. “Yea, he that repenteth and exerciseth faith, and bringeth forth good works, and prayeth continually without ceasing—unto such it is given to know the mysteries of God; yea, unto such it shall be given to reveal things which never have been revealed; yea, and it shall be given unto such to bring thousands of souls to repentance, even as it has been given unto us to bring these our brethren to repentance” (Alma 26:22, emphasis added).

We have to plant the seed, but the Lord is the one that makes it grow. We have to dig the well, but the Lord is the one that makes the water flow. We have to enter the covenants of baptism and confirmation, but He is the one who blesses us with His spirit to be with us. We have to share our testimony with others, but the Lord carries it to their hearts and helps them know it is true. We have to go to the temple, but He is the one who reveals truth to our minds and hearts and unites our families for eternity.

The Lord provides for his faithful children even in the most difficult of circumstances. He provided the escape for the Israelites through the Red Sea and then made manna fall from heaven and water splurge from a rock to support them through the desert. Nephi wrote that, while his people endured many hardships in the wilderness, they were able to have children and “so great were the blessings of the Lord upon us, that while we did live upon raw meat in the wilderness, our women did give plenty of suck for their children, and were strong, yea, even like unto the men” (1 Nephi 17:2).

Nephi continued with his testimony that “thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore, he did provide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness” (1 Nephi 17:3).

The Lord invites us to come partake of his abundance, to yoke ourselves to him so he can carry our burdens, and to ask, seek, and knock so that we might receive, find, and have His door opened unto us. But we must come, we must yoke ourselves to him, we must ask, seek, and knock, or at least we must give our best effort with faith that he will make up for any shortfalls we may have.

Being a disciple of Jesus Christ is not for the faint of heart. He expects that we will be tired sometimes, sacrifice some of our time and priorities, get a few grey hairs and experience some aches and pains as we strive, however imperfectly, to follow in his footsteps and do His work.

The secret, which I have only learned in what my children would call my “ripe old age,” is that it is not about us. The Lord has declared that He can do His own work. None of us could stop the work from progressing any more than we could stick our puny arm into the Mississippi River and change its course.

Yet, it is all about us. We are His Work and His Glory. He wants to provide us with strong testimonies and the protection of sacred covenants. He wants us to experience the thrill of revelation and the joy of helping someone change. He wants to provide the temporal things we need and teach us about service, sacrifice, and consecration. He wants to bless us with knowledge of the mysteries of His kingdom and inspiration that will help us better understand the world around us. He wants to provide all of this and more, ultimately, because He is our father and He, in his perfect love for us, wants us to not only return to live with him but to be exalted above the stars and enjoy the kind of life that He lives.

Living that kind of life, eternal life in the celestial kingdom of God, means we must first learn to make the choices that will lead us to exaltation. So He invites us to plant the seeds, make the covenants, share our burdens, and lose ourselves in coming to Him. He promises that, if we give our best effort and strive to keep the commandments, He will take it from there. He will provide. If we have been merciful, we will have mercy restored to us again. If we have been just, we will have justice restored to us again. If we have been good, we will have goodness as our reward. “For that which ye do send out shall return to you again, and be restored” (Alma 41:14-15).

For the record, I don’t remember when the pyramids were built and I have never met anyone who fought in the Civil War. But I have lived long enough to know by my own experience that God lives, that Jesus Christ is my Savior, that they want to bless us with greater abundance than we now enjoy, and that we can receive of that abundance as we make acting with greater faith and focus on our Savior a priority in our lives.

The Lord Will Deliver Us

"Nephi Bound" by Jeremy Windborg

There were many Sundays growing up when my family would gather on the couch to watch Charlton Heston play the part of Moses in The Ten Commandments. We watched a lot of westerns, so we knew Yul Brynner, who played the part of Ramses, was a formidable opponent. Though the movie doesn’t follow the scriptural account perfectly, we were always impressed by Joshua’s courage, disgusted with Dathan’s lack of values, disappointed in the hardness of the Pharoah’s heart, and amazed by the miracles the Lord used to deliver his people from Egypt.

Because we knew the story of Moses well, it became a standard for the faith we should have in our family. When difficult challenges came along, a parent or a sibling might say something like, “If the Lord could deliver the Israelites, don’t you think He can help you with the challenge you have now?”

Nephi gave the same encouragement to his murmuring brothers. They had left their home and all their precious things behind. Now, near the same Red Sea that the Lord parted to deliver the Israelites, they were commanded to return for the brass plates. Laman and Lemuel did not believe they could succeed, but Nephi urged them to have faith in the Lord. “Therefore let us go up;” he said, “let us be strong like unto Moses; for he truly spake unto the waters of the Red Sea and they divided hither and thither, and our fathers came through, out of captivity, on dry ground… Now behold ye know that this is true… wherefore can ye doubt? Let us go up; the Lord is able to deliver us, even as our fathers, and to destroy Laban, even as the Egyptians” (1 Nephi 4:2-3).

As readers of Nephi’s ancient record, we are promised in the introductory first chapter that Nephi would show us “that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance” (1 Nephi 1:20). We then learn that not only did the Lord deliver Nephi and his brothers from Laban through Nephi’s faithful action, but Nephi’s family was delivered from Jerusalem before it was destroyed because of the faith of his father, Zoram was delivered from servitude because of his faith in what Nephi taught him, Nephi was faithfully delivered from his brothers’ frequent persecutions, and future Gentiles, including many of our ancestors, would act on the promptings of the spirit to be delivered from captivity and cross the sea from Europe to the Americas.

In one of my favorite stories, Nephi, who says he was large in stature, is bound with cords. With his physical strength neutralized, Nephi’s strong faith won’t allow him to lose hope. He simply knows the Lord will deliver him, though he doesn’t seem to know exactly how, so he prays, “O Lord, according to my faith which is in thee, wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren; yea, even give me the strength that I may burst these bands with which I am bound” (1 Nephi 7:17).

Like Nephi, and maybe a lot of other guys, there are times when the only way I can see out of a dilemma is if I were to turn into some kind of superhero with the incredible strength of Superman or the Hulk. Nephi knew the Lord could do it; and undoubtedly the Lord could have answered Nephi’s prayer in this way. Instead, the Lord, whose ways are higher and often more subtle than our ways, answered Nephi’s prayer for deliverance by loosening the cords that held him captive.

Through Nephi’s life, the Israelites’ deliverance from Egypt, other stories in the Book of Mormon, and often in our own lives, we can observe at least seven different ways the Lord delivers us. We are delivered when our own hearts are softened, as Nephi’s heart was softened to believe the words of his father (1 Nephi 2:16). Sometimes others’ hearts are softened, like the Pharoah’s daughter who retrieved Moses from the river and was moved to raise him as her own (Exodus 2:1-10).

The Lord can deliver us with strength to bear our physical, mental and emotional burdens, like the women in Nephi’s family who were able to bear, nurse and raise their children in the wilderness. The Lord can also give us a way to escape, especially when we pray to escape temptation, even if it means parting a metaphorical Red Sea to help us keep His commandments.

We can be delivered through inspiration to find a solution, as Nephi’s family was delivered from hunger when he learned how to craft a new bow. Or we may be delivered by someone else’s inspiration to help us, as Jethro was inspired to help Moses learn to delegate authority or Laman and Lemuel were inspired to help Nephi build a ship.

Finally, the Lord can deliver us from uncertainty, worry and fear through His miraculous power. The Lord blessed the Israelites with manna from heaven and water from the rock. He sent an angel to deliver Nephi from his abusive brothers. President Nelson has promised that “as [we] choose to let God prevail in [our] lives, [we] will experience for [ourselves] that our God is ‘a God of miracles’ (Mormon 9:11).”

Nephi also wrote so that we could find another kind of deliverance: “For the fulness of mine intent is that I may persuade men to come unto the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, and be saved” (1 Nephi 6). In this purpose, Nephi is joined by all of the prophets who wrote upon the pages that became the Book of Mormon.

Mormon himself testified that the Book of Mormon was written to persuade those in our day “that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God,” that the biblical record of Christ’s ministry and Atonement are true, and that we should “repent, and be baptized in the name of Jesus, and lay hold upon the gospel of Christ” (Mormon 5:14-15, 7:7-9). If we do this, we can be delivered from death and hell and “it shall be well with [us] in the day of judgment” (Moroni 7:10).

Nephi had experience with this kind of deliverance. He lamented that, “Notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins” (2 Nephi 4:17-19).

“Nevertheless,” he continues, “I know in whom I have trusted. My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep. He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh. He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me. Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the night-time” (2 Nephi 4:19-23).

Perhaps Nephi is the first author in the Book of Mormon so that we will know his story well and his faith can become a standard for the faith we should have in our lives. Like Nephi, our hearts have groaned because of our sins and we have struggled with some of the challenges that come into our lives. Nevertheless, as we let God prevail in our lives, He will deliver us as He delivered the children of Israel and as He delivered Nephi. He will deliver us from our own hard hearts and from others’ harmful intentions. He will calm our anxieties and help us escape temptation. He will deliver us from our unbelief and ignorance, our sin, and our regret. He will help us to have the courage of Joshua and to overcome even the most formidable of the opponents to our salvation.

Wooden Shoes and the Abundance of Christ

"Living Water" by Simon Dewey

Every year at Christmas, my family reads about the Miracleof the Wooden Shoes. The story takes place many years ago in Germany, where a boy named Walter grappled with the responsibilities of manhood after his father fell ill. He knew from his mother’s whispered conversations with the doctor that his father was dying and Walter wanted to help his family however he could. He began hoarding candle stubs that were discarded at school, digging for forgotten carrots and turnips in the frozen ground of the garden until his fingers were bloody, and searching for hours for a few dry sticks to heat his home. It was not enough; the house was still cold and their stomachs were empty. With so little, Walter was grown up enough to know that there would be no Christmas.

When December 5^th rolled around, Walter’s mother reminded him to set out his shoes for St. Nicholas Day. In Germany, St. Nicholas traditionally comes on December 6^th and fills the children’s shoes with candy. Walter didn’t want to upset his mother, so he made some noise to hide his rebellion and went to bed.

Early the next morning, Walter’s mother called him from the kitchen. “Schnell!” She called. “Quick! Come and see your wooden shoes.” He found them on the doorstep full of enough candles to help his mother finish her sewing at night. There were enough candles for a proper Advent wreath. With the candles was a scroll, tied with a festive red ribbon, which quoted John 8:12, “I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.”

Walter and his mother were astonished. Neither of them knew who had filled the shoes. It was a miracle.

The next morning, Walter woke first. He put on his coat and reached for his shoes so he could go find a few sticks for the stove, but his shoes were gone. He could not find them anywhere. Cautiously, he opened the front door and found them again on the doorstep, this time overflowing with sticks. More wood was stacked nearby. In one of his shoes was a scroll, tied with a festive red ribbon, which quoted Jeremiah 20:9, “His word was in mine heart as a burning fire.”

For the second time, Walter and his mother were surprised and grateful for the miracle they had received. Walter was able to build a fire hot enough to heat the whole house, even his father’s bed in the back room.

Walter’s shoes were on the front step the next morning, too. This time they were filled with bread, rolls, and lebkuchen. A pail of milk and a basket of fruits and vegetables stood behind the shoes. This time, the scroll quoted John 6:35, “And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.”

As Walter went to bed on the third day he set out his shoes and hoped for another miracle, but when he awoke the shoes were empty. Walter’s father was getting worse, even with the warmth and the food in the house. They had enough to last a little while, but then what would they do?

That same day there was a knock on the door. On the porch were two missionaries. Walter had seen them in town. When they looked longingly at the warm fire, Walter knew he should let them in. One of the missionaries reached into his satchel and pulled out a small scroll tied with a festive red ribbon. Walter and his mother looked at each other in surprise as the missionary began to read a verse from John 11: “I am the resurrection and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.”

Walter jumped to his feet and pointed at the scroll. “It was you!” he exclaimed. “You are the one who filled my shoes. You gave us the three scrolls.” The missionary shook his head in confusion. “I don’t know what you mean,” he replied. “I found this scroll in my shoes this morning with a note to visit your family today. I don’t know where it came from.”

Walter and his mother decided to listen to the missionaries as they taught them about a prophet named Joseph Smith who had restored Christ’s true church to the earth, including the keys of the priesthood. They gave Walter’s father a priesthood blessing and returned many more times to teach Walter and his family.

Walter’s father soon recovered and the family embraced the gospel message. One more scroll appeared on Christmas morning. Walter’s shoes were filled with chocolates and candy. The scroll read, “Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life” (2 Nephi 31:20).

Like Walter and his family, we all have five basic needs to sustain our lives: light, water, air, shelter, and food. Without one or more of these, we will not survive; and even when we have them today, we have no guarantees that we will have what we need to thrive tomorrow. Any of us could be affected by an illness, a turn in the economy, a wildfire, flood or drought, or some other change to our circumstances.

In a world of scarcity, where everything we need is consumable and fleeting, the Savior promises us eternal abundance and invites us to share that abundance with others.

Abinadi taught that “[Jesus Christ] is the light and life of the world; yea, a light that is endless, that can never be darkened; yea, and also a life which is endless, that there can be no more death” (Mosiah 16:9). Joseph Smith wrote that Christ is, “the light and Redeemer of the world; the spirit of truth, … and in him was the life of men and the light of men” (D&C 93:9). “Therefore,” the Savior invites us to, “hold up your light that it may shine unto the world. Behold, I am the light which ye shall hold up—that which ye have seen me do” (3 Nephi 18:24).

At Jacob’s Well, the Savior taught that “Whosoever drinketh of this [well] shall thirst again, But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life” (John 4:9-15). He explained that “unto him that keepeth my commandments will I give the mysteries [or covenants] of my kingdom, and the same shall be in him a well of living water, springing up unto everlasting life” (D&C 63:23).

We are invited to follow the iron rod of His Word to “the fountain of living waters” (1 Nephi 11:25), where we may covenant to keep his commandments in the waters of baptism. He promises that “if [we] will come, [we] may, and partake of the waters of life freely” (D&C 10:66). As we do so, he also requires us to, “Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:19-20).

The Lord testified that He, “formed man from the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul” (Moses 3:7). Jesus Christ is our Creator and “in him [is] life” (John 1:4). He preserves and sustains all living things by lending them breath from day to day and moment to moment (Genesis 7:22, Mosiah 2:21, Acts 17:25).

Yet, His work and His glory is the immortality and eternal life of each of us (Moses 1:39). He invites us to have unshaken faith in Him and “do the things which… your Lord and your Redeemer should do… For the gate by which ye should enter is repentance and baptism by water; and then cometh a remission of your sins by fire and by the Holy Ghost. And then are ye in this strait and narrow path which leads to eternal life…” (2 Nephi 31:17-18). When we are converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ and steadfastly walking the covenant path, “having a perfect brightness of hope and a love of God and of all men” (1 Nephi 31:20), the Lord admonishes us to “strengthen [our] brethren” (Luke 22:32).

Our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, is “a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall” (Helaman 5:12). He testified, “I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward” (Genesis 15:1). He is the founder of the house of Israel, and of Zion, and he will gather us, “as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, if ye will repent and return unto me will full purpose of heart” (3 Nephi 10:6).

In the shelter of His holy temples, we can rest from the cares of the world and enjoy peace, like a river, unto our souls (Isaiah 48:18, D&C 121:7). We can extend that peace to our families and others we have never met through vicarious ordinances. He promises that “in my Father’s house are many mansions” (John 14:2) and that one day, if we are faithful, we will be “received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where [we] shall rest from all [our] troubles and from all care and sorrow” (Alma 40:12) and return to a kingdom of eternal glory (D&C 76, Revelation 7:14-17).

Finally, the Lord testified that He is the bread of life (John 6:35). “Yea, he saith: Come unto me and ye shall partake of the fruit of the tree of life; yea, ye shall eat and drink of the bread and the waters of life freely; Yea, come unto me and bring forth works of righteousness” (Alma 5:34-35).

He invites us to feast of his abundance: to “feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do” (2 Nephi 32:3); to “lift up your heads and receive the pleasing word of God, and feast upon his love” (Jacob 3:2); and to “feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted, and let your soul delight in fatness” (2 Nephi 9:51).

When we have tasted of the bread of life, like manna from heaven, that fills our soul with “exceedingly great joy” (1 Nephi 8:11-12), we are also invited to bring forth works of righteousness in service to Him. “For the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye make walk guiltless before God,” King Benjamin advised, “I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants” (Mosiah 4:26). For “inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren,” the Savior taught, “ye have done it unto me” (Matthew 25:40).

To His servant, Simon Peter, Christ taught that if we love him, we will feed his lambs and feed his sheep (John 21:15-17). To us, Peter echoed that we should, “feed the flock of God which is among you,” not by constraint, but by persuasion and by our own examples (1 Peter 5:2-3).

Without our Savior, Jesus Christ, we are like Walter and his family. We can figuratively dig in the frozen ground for forgotten carrots and search the forest for a few sticks, but the relative scarcity of even our best and most successful efforts cannot save us and our families from physical death nor the separation from God imposed by our own sinful behavior.

We need the abundance our Savior offers us through His servants. We need the light of his example, the unwilted strength of his covenants, the life his breath sustains, the shelter of His gospel, and the nutrition of his word. He offers everything we need to live, temporally and spiritually—everything we need to overcome sin and death—in such abundance that, if we are faithful, “there shall not be room enough to receive it” (Malachi 3:10).

Jesus Christ is “the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6), but is he the way we have chosen, the truth we believe, and the center of the life we live? Do we recognize the miracles in our lives? When he stands knocking at the figurative door of our lives (Revelation 3:20), do we let him in and allow him to teach us how to change? Do we study and live His gospel with scarcity, maybe on Sundays or certain holidays, or do we strive to consecrate all that we have throughout the year and during each day to taste of His fruit, hold up His light, and feed His lambs?

Jesus Christ is the resurrection and the life, the light of the world, the living water, the breath of life, a sure foundation and shelter from the storm, and the bread of life. Because He lives, there is healing for our sicknesses and heartaches. Because He lives, we can be forgiven for our sins and strengthened in our shortcomings. Because He lives, His church is restored with covenants and ordinances to unite our families with His love. Because He lives, we can live eternally in the presence and glory of God. Because of a sacred, silent night in Bethlehem, there will be a Christmas this year and we can live each day in the abundance provided by our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Gardening, Covenants, and Enduring Love

"Nurtured by the Word" by Greg Olsen

After graduating from BYU, our family moved to Arizona to be closer to some extended family living there. We could only afford a small apartment at first, so, anxious to be self-reliant and care for our young family's needs, we asked a family member if we could use some of their backyard for a garden. They agreed and we got started.

The sunbaked earth in Mesa, Arizona, isn’t exactly dirt and it certainly isn’t soil for a garden. It’s much more like clay, which meant we really had our work cut out for us. We borrowed a tiller to start breaking up the chunks of ground and mixing in soil and fertilizer. We researched what to plant and when to plant it. We made furrows for planting squash, set up strings for the pea plants to climb, bought wire cages for the tomatoes, and built mounds for the melons and cucumbers. It was perhaps a bigger project than we expected, so we were delighted when we had finally put the last seed in the ground.

Of course, planting was only the beginning. We had arranged for our family member to help water the plants during the week, but we still needed to visit at least weekly to weed and care for the plants. It was always incredible to see how many weeds could grow in a single week, especially when nothing had grown in that spot for years (or maybe ever). The weeds grew so fast, I sometimes lectured the plants under my breath that if they would just grow like the weeds did maybe we could be harvesting by now. The plants didn’t seem to listen, so back we’d go with our one-year-old son to pull what we hoped would mostly be weeds and attend to any other needs in our little garden.

After a while, the excitement completely wore off. With busy work, graduate school, and church schedules, it was easy to wish we could spend what free time we had doing something fun or relaxing as a family. There were days when I would have volunteered to do nothing rather than going to care for the garden, but we knew we wouldn't harvest much if the weeds took over. So, while we slacked off a little here and there, we kept going most weeks to do what needed to be done in our little garden.

Excitement returned when the first zucchini were ready to be harvested. They were so big and so good! The squash and tomatoes soon followed. Though the results were delayed, we were grateful for the garden that gave us so much good food.

We also began to see how even occasional negligence had diminished what the garden could have been. If we had set up shade for the cucumbers and peas in time, they might not have withered in the hot Arizona sun. If we had been there to get the melons off the ground when they first began to grow, the bottoms may not have rotted. We didn't intend for these things to happen when we decided to skip a day in the garden, but they were the natural consequences of our inconsistent care.

Our marriages can be like a garden. As I share some principles in the context of marriage, I invite you to think about your relationship with your spouse, if you have one, or, if you are presently single, your part in the covenant marriage relationship the Lord will give you, when the time is right, if you desire it. C.S. Lewis observed:

Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling.

Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called ‘being in love’ usually does not last. If the old fairy-tale ending ‘They lived happily ever after’ is taken to mean ‘They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married,’ then it says what probably never was nor ever would be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships?

But, of course, ceasing to be ‘in love’ need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense—love as distinct from ‘being in love’—is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself.

They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be ‘in love’ with someone else. ‘Being in love’ first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.

Speaking of engines, most of us think of our cars, and the engines in them, as an investment. That isn’t strictly true from a financial management perspective, but we treat our vehicles as investments anyway. It costs a lot of money to buy a car. We probably took some time with our last vehicle purchase to research which one could fit enough passengers, had the right mileage or price or color, and any other features that were important to us. When we found the one we wanted, we signed the purchase agreement and were excited to drive it home.

Anyone who has ever owned a car knows that they require consistent care and maintenance. We make sure there is gas in the tank and air in the tires. We make sure the oil gets changed when it should and that the tires get rotated. The brakes and air filters need to be replaced periodically and the fluids need to be topped off. Every so often, you make sure to wash and wax the car and vacuum the inside. Sometimes your car needs new windshield wipers or spark plugs or a new windshield altogether. Some of us may have put covers over the seats and steering wheel to protect the interior. When collisions or malfunctions occur, we try to fix them if we can. We are always working on our cars because we know they represent a significant investment of our resources and we want them to last; and in the hands of a skilled mechanic, they can last for decades. In fact, if we care for them well enough, they become an investment even from a financial management perspective.

In a similar way, each of us probably did some research when we were dating our spouse to make sure they had the characteristics and features that were important to us. We fell in love, signed our legally-binding marriage certificate, and were excited for our new life together. This was the planting, the explosion that got our engines running. Our marriages will require consistent care and maintenance if we are to experience the deep unity of enduring love and become "one flesh" (D&C 49:16), as the Lord directs, after the excitement of being in love wears off.

In 2006, then-Elder Russell M. Nelson taught that, "marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than does any other human relationship. Yet some married couples fall short of their full potential. They let their romance become rusty, take each other for granted, allow other interests or clouds of neglect to obscure the vision of what their marriage really could be. Marriages [like gardens] would be happier if nurtured more carefully" (Nurturing Marriage, April 2006).

Elder Nelson went on to suggest that we could more carefully nurture our marriages by understanding the doctrinal foundations for marriage and then taking specific actions to strengthen our relationship. He taught:

Marriage is the foundry for social order, the fountain of virtue, and the foundation for eternal exaltation. Marriage has been divinely designated as an eternal and everlasting covenant. Marriage is sanctified when it is cherished and honored in holiness. That union is not merely between husband and wife; it embraces a partnership with God. 'Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other' (The Family: A Proclamation to the World). Children born of that marital union are 'an heritage of the Lord' (Psalms 127:3). Marriage is but the beginning bud of family life; parenthood is its flower. And that bouquet becomes even more beautiful when graced with grandchildren. Families may become as eternal as the kingdom of God itself.

Marriage is both a commandment and an exalting principle of the gospel... True happiness [in marriage] is predicated upon personal purity... Marriage should ever be a covenant to lift husbands and wives to exaltation in celestial glory.

Marriage was intended by the Lord to endure beyond physical death... Priesthood offices, keys, callings, and quorums are meant to exalt families. Priesthood authority has been restored so that families can be sealed eternally.

With these doctrinal underpinnings, we can take specific actions to improve our marriages. In his 2006 talk, Elder Nelson suggested that we could learn to better appreciate one another, better communicate with one another, and spend more time contemplating together the sacred covenants we have made. Each of us might consider these invitations and any other ways we might feel we can nurture our relationships in a spirit of selflessness and generosity.

Now, in cars, love, and gardening, we don’t always get the ideal scenario. Some seeds are planted by professionals in the fertile soils of the Salinas or San Joaquin Valleys and others are left for amateurs to bury in the hard clay of Arizona. Some seeds may seem to grow well for a while and then become choked by weeds or begin to wither under the heat of some intense pressure; but whatever our circumstance, our seeds will grow when we appropriately and consistently nurture, weed, and care for them.

President Gordon B. Hinckley shared this quote from Jenkin Lloyd Jones in a speech at BYU in 1973:

Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he [or she] has been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just like people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise.

Life is just like an old-time rail journey… delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.

To be clear, this does not excuse marital abuse, neglect, or infidelity. In a relationship between a married couple and the Lord, these offenses are grievous sins against your spouse and against the Lord. The Lord makes it clear that it would have been better for us to have not been born than to commit such offenses, and especially to do so and leave them without correction and the most sincere and difficult kind of repentance. He makes it equally clear that, while we are all required to forgive those who have offended us, we are not required to continue to endure or return to an abusive relationship. Any sort of manipulation that is strung together to make you think otherwise is just that—manipulation. It is not inspired. It is not from God.

Elder Holland taught, “In a dating and courtship relationship, I would not have you spend five minutes with someone who belittles you, one who is constantly critical of you, one who is cruel at your expense and may even call it humor. Life is tough enough without the person who is supposed to love you leading the assault on your self-esteem, your sense of dignity, your confidence, and your joy. In this person’s care, you deserve to feel physically safe and emotionally secure.”

But outside of those situations, which one would hope are more rare than common, it helps to remember that planting is only the beginning. "[Love] is a deep unity maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God." So what thoughts and desires do you allow to direct your will? What habits have you built to deliberately strengthen your relationship with your spouse? Are you asking the Lord for his grace and blessing in your prayers? Are you treating your relationship with the consistency and attentiveness you would give to a great investment? In the words of a local football coach, can you win with the effort that you are giving?

Elder David A. Bednar has taught that "we grow to love those whom we serve" (If Ye Had Known Me, October 2016). If we start to feel like our relationships are mostly smoke and cinders, selflessly serving our spouse with the same diligence we might give a new car or a nice garden will help us clear the weeds and get us back on track.

Whether married or single, we should also be mindful that Christ compares our relationship with him to a marriage. Conversion for many of us requires some research. If we "give place, that a seed may be planted in [our hearts], behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if [we] do not cast it out by [our] unbelief... behold, it will begin to swell within [our] breasts... [and we] will begin to say within [ourselves]-- It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me" (Alma 32:28).

We are excited when we are baptized and enter an eternally-binding covenant relationship with our Savior. That union is not between ourselves and our Savior alone; it embraces a partnership with God. Most of us have patches of hard clay in our hearts, which means we have our work cut out for us. The Savior invites us to take his yoke upon ourselves so that he can help us carry our burdens. He invites us to put our lives in His hands-- the hands of the Master Gardener and Skilled Mechanic for our hearts. But this is only the planting, the explosion that gets our engines running. Consistent care, maintenance and nurturing is needed if we are to "be one" with Christ (John 17:20-21).

We can more carefully nurture our relationship with Christ as we seek in the scriptures, through the words of the prophets, and in sincere prayer, to understand the doctrinal underpinnings of our covenants with Him and then take specific actions to strengthen our relationship. We might consider developing more gratitude for the blessings the Lord has given us, learning to better communicate with Him and hear His voice, spending more time contemplating the sacred covenants we have made, and any other ways we might feel we can nurture our relationship in a spirit of humility and selflessness.

Our relationship with our Savior brings greater possibilities for happiness than any other relationship we can have. That happiness as a covenant disciple of Christ is predicated upon our personal purity. Our covenants with God include the gift of the Holy Ghost, who will sanctify us and lead us to make and keep sacred covenants in the temple that are designed to lift us to exaltation in the Celestial Kingdom.

Yet, sometimes we let our relationship with Christ fall short of its full potential. In the months and years following our baptism, we often do not always feel the same burning spiritual confirmation, or "swelling motions," that helped us know the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ and its restoration in modern times. Our lives get busy and we sometimes don't want to do the spiritual work to maintain our relationship with Him. We allow clouds of neglect to obscure the vision of what our relationship with Him could be.

When we are inconsistent in maintaining our relationship with Christ, we sometimes miss blessings we could have otherwise received. Deep unity in our relationship with Christ is maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which we ask, and receive, from God.

So what thoughts and desires do you allow to direct your will? What habits have you built to deliberately strengthen your relationship with Christ? Are you treating your covenant relationship with the consistency and attentiveness you would give to a great investment? Can you win with the effort you are giving?

When we start to feel like our relationship with Christ is smoke and cinders, we can remember Elder Bednar's teaching that "selflessly serving others counteracts the self-centered and selfish tendencies of the natural man. We grow to love those whom we serve. And because serving others is serving God, we grow to love Him and our brothers and sisters more deeply [when we serve]. Such love is a manifestation of the spiritual gift of charity, even the pure love of Christ" (If Ye Had Known Me, October 2016). God knows this and wants us to be wildly successful, so he has asked us to promise, and even to covenant, that we will bear one another’s burdens, mourn with those that mourn, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort (Mosiah 18:8-10).

Our relationships with God and our Savior, Jesus Christ, are reflected in the way we love one another. We cannot love God while we are belittling or criticizing His children—and that means any of His children for any reason, regardless of our age, relationships, political views, cultural heritage, or anything else. We cannot ignore our covenants to minister and serve one another without some blessings withering or rotting on the vine. And similarly, we cannot deny the Lord time together in prayer, scripture study, and in the temple, and expect to have oil in our lamps to light the way today, particularly through our darkest times, and be prepared for when He comes again.

Thankfully, the opposite is also true. A kind word or a plate of cookies can connect us with our brothers and sisters and bring joy into our lives and theirs. Helping someone complete a project or a chore can build fellowship and understanding. I have seldom given a priesthood blessing when I did not feel the love of the Lord for the person receiving that blessing. Careful scripture study, sincere prayers, and devoted temple attendance bring peace and faith into our lives. Each of these things—joy, love, patience, understanding, peace, and faith—are fruits of the Spirit of the Lord (Galations 5:22-23) and evidence of His forgiveness for us and our relationship with Him.

Though our effort to nurture the garden in Arizona was imperfect, the consistency of that effort led to a bountiful harvest that was likely much more than we deserved. To this day, we still don't know how we got so many zucchini! In a similar way, though our effort will not always be perfect, the Lord has promised those who consistently keep their covenants with Him, and with their spouses, that their relationships will endure beyond the grave. They will have happiness in peace through the trials of this life and throughout eternity. Together, as one flesh united with God, they will inherit all that He has, certainly more than any of us could ever deserve, and the bud of their marriage will flower into the abundant garden of their posterity (D&C 132:19).

Following Christ

As we have studied the New Testament again this year, it has been interesting to read again about how Christ called each of his disciples. He called Matthew as he passed by the tax office where Matthew worked. The Lord called Phillip and Phillip brought Nathanael, who believed when Christ told him about a private moment he had under a fig tree. Andrew believed the preaching of John the Baptist and brought his brother, Simon Peter, to meet the Messiah. The Lord later called Andrew, Peter, James, and John, from their fishing boats after performing a miracle to fill their nets with fish.

Though each of these men would eventually be ordained as apostles, they were first called to be disciples. Others were called too: Mary called Magdalene, Joanna, the wife of Herod’s steward, Susanna, Salome, and many others recognized the Savior and accepted the call to follow him (Luke 8:2-3).

So what was it these disciples were called to do?

To the fishermen, Andrew, Peter, James, and John, the Lord called, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men” (Matthew 4:18). To Matthew, son of Alpheas, as with Phillip, Nathanael, and others, the Lord said simply, “follow me.” To the rich young ruler, the Lord called, “Sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me” (Luke 18:22). Indeed, “if any man will come after me,” the Lord taught, “let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me” (Matthew 16).

Following Christ is more than just believing in him. It is doing the things that he did during his life and that he would do again if he were here with us today. Alma taught that the members of Christ’s church follow him when they “are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death” and enter into covenants to serve him and keep his commandments (Mosiah 18:8-10).

Each of us is a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ who has accepted the call to follow him and covenanted through baptism and temple ordinances to serve him and keep his commandments. So what do you think it is that he has called you and I to do? That is, what would Christ do if he were to come to our community today?

I believe he would minister to us like he did to the people he visited in 3 Nephi. He would command “that none of you should go away, but rather… that ye should come unto me, that ye might feel and see” (3 Nephi 18:25). He would administer the sacrament and minister especially to our children and youth. He would teach us and perform miracles. He would invite the Holy Spirit to change our hearts and admonish us to put an end to all contention, to love one another, and to hold up our light, which is Christ, that it may shine unto the world (3 Nephi 18:24).

The invitation to us is to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and come and follow Christ. Come and do the things that he would do if he were here. Set aside the cares of the world and come learn the word of God. Let go of criticism, cynicism, and doubt and come, minister to one another with love, especially for our children and youth. Come partake of the sacrament each week and invite the spirit into your life to change your heart. Come perform miracles. Come hold up your light and witness of Christ at all times and in all things and in all places.

After they had received the priesthood, Christ sent his disciples on assignments to “the lost sheep of the house of Israel”. He admonished them to preach as they went and charged them to, “heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, [and] cast out devils” (Matthew 10:6-8). They returned rejoicing and astonished at the miracles they had performed in the name of Christ (Luke 9:10, 10:17).

Yet, on another occasion, a “certain man” approached the Savior and begged on his knees: “Lord, have mercy on my son: for he is lunatic, and sore vexed: for ofttimes he falleth into the fire, and oft into the water. And I brought him to thy disciples, and they could not cure him” (Matthew 17:15-16).

After the Lord had rebuked the devil and cured the child, the disciples asked why they had not been successful. “And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible to you. Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting” (Matthew 17:18-21).

We can pray and fast for direction and courage to share the gospel. Surely Christ would be anxiously engaged in this work if he were in our community; and He is just as anxious to teach us what to do and guide us to those He has prepared. Just as a tiny mustard seed grows into a large seed, at least some of our fasting and prayer today must be for the faith to believe that, as we follow Christ and do the things he would do, our ward can grow into something greater than it is.

President Ballard once related the following story in General Conference:

“Some years ago a faithful convert, Brother George McLaughlin, was called to preside over a small branch of 20 members in Farmingdale, Maine. He was a humble man, driving a milk delivery truck for a living. Through his fasting and earnest prayer, the Spirit taught him what he and the members of his branch needed to do to help the Church grow in their area. Through his great faith, constant prayer, and powerful example, he taught his members how to share the gospel.

“It’s a marvelous story, one of the great missionary stories of this dispensation. In just one year there were 450 convert baptisms in the branch. The next year there were an additional 200 converts. … Just five years later, the Augusta Maine Stake was organized. Much of the leadership of that new stake came from those converts in the Farmingdale Branch.

“Now we might ask why there was such great success in those days, and the answer may be because of the urgent need to strengthen the Church. Let me assure you that that same urgency in all units of the Church is every bit as critical today as it was then” (April 2003).

President Nelson has promised that “as [we] choose to let God prevail in [our] lives, [we] will experience for [ourselves] that our God is ‘a God of miracles’ (Mormon 9:11” (Let God Prevail, October 2020). He taught on another occasion: “the Lord will bless you with miracles if you believe in Him, ‘doubting nothing’. Do the spiritual work to seek miracles. Prayerfully ask God to help you exercise that kind of faith. I promise that you can experience for yourself that Jesus Christ ‘giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he ‘increaseth strength’.”

The Lord has called each of us to follow Him and do the things He would do if He were in our community. He is the Good Shepherd and He wants us to find his lost sheep of the house of Israel. Some of those lost sheep are members of our families, others are members of our ward, and still more are in our community looking for the truth, but they know not where to find it.

Elder Stevenson has taught us how to follow Christ and reach out to these lost sheep:

“The first thing we can do is love as Christ loved… By demonstrating Christ’s love to others, we may cause those who see our good works to ‘glorify [our] Father which is in heaven’. We do this expecting nothing in return.

“Our hope, of course, is they will accept our love and our message, though how they react is not within our control… Through Christlike love for others, we preach the glorious, life-transforming properties of Christ’s gospel, and we participate significantly in the fulfilling of His great commission.

“The second thing we can do is share… We all share things with others. We do it often. We share what movies and food we like, funny things we see, places we visit, art we appreciate, quotes we’re inspired by…

“Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf explained: ‘If someone asks about your weekend, don’t hesitate to talk about what you experienced at church. Tell about the little children who stood in front of a congregation and sang with eagerness how they are trying to be like Jesus. Talk about the group of youth who spent time helping the elderly in rest homes to compile personal histories’.

“Sharing isn’t about ‘selling’ the gospel. You don’t have to write a sermon or correct someone’s incorrect perceptions. When it comes to missionary work, God doesn’t need you to be His sheriff; He does, however, ask that you be His sharer.”

“The third thing you can do is invite… There are hundreds of invitations we can extend to others. We can invite others to ‘come and see’ a sacrament service, a ward activity, an online video that explains the gospel of Jesus Christ. ‘Come and see’ can be an invitation to read the Book of Mormon or visit a new temple during its open house… Sometimes the invitation is something we extend inward—an invitation to ourselves, giving us awareness and vision of opportunities surrounding us to act upon.

“In our digital age, members often share messages through social media. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of uplifting things you might find worthy of sharing. This content offers invitations to ‘come and see.’ ‘come and serve,’ and ‘come and belong.’”

As we each deny ourselves, take up our cross, and strive to follow Christ and share his gospel, we will experience miracles in our lives and in our communities.